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Friday, February 10, 2012

Dance for attachment

Music is one of those beautiful magical gifts that I'm sure everyone is grateful we have in our lives. Music in many ways soothes any emotion and can change an emotion easily while engaged with certain songs. Music is always playing throughout our day in one form or another. Our littlest daughter was/is hard to console. "Hugging" seems to be a source of confinement for her, plus given her past who knows what maternal bond developed if any. There was a time I remember holding a baby that was stiff. Not because of any condition (there is stiff baby syndromes) but because the baby lacked being soothed by rocking and hugging - from what I know, the baby never slept near or on his Mother. I remember the Mother firmly believed in the Ferber method. Basically to cry it out. I, myself never believed with this method. I understand the reasoning's (somewhat) although leaving the child to cry himself to sleep isn't in my vocabulary. All my babies were rocked, they slept in my arms, laid quietly to bed peacefully. This was a bond I built with my child, a fond memory that I cherish today. I personally saw first hand the difference between my baby and a baby that lacked cuddling. Naturally babies should mold into their Mother or Father. This baby was a board. With the Ferber Method I know the baby is loved, it's check on every 5-10 minutes extra and the idea is to train the child for bedtime. Again for me, life is too short and babies grow up too fast. I really encourage building attachment through togetherness. My last child I breastfed for 27 months. I was heavily involved with the La Leche League. (An organization that supports breastfeeding) La Leche means "milk" and us Mother's produce this for our baby, it's the most superior milk of all. I even support adoptive Mother's to breastfed if they can. (I know it's been done) Another topic that would probably create a debate so getting back on topic - music I find to be therapeutic. Our littlest daughter I would define as a "board baby" (not that she's a baby per-say) She doesn't like cuddling. I will not suspect her condition with having Cerebral Palsy to be the cause. SO for the life of me I wasn't sure how we could soothe her..........but we've found a way through music! Our daughter loves music; any kind of music and she's full of rhythm! If you don't know, our daughter doesn't walk but she loves dancing. We've found a connection through music and dance to connect and bond emotionally and physically with our daughter. We dance everyday. Not only do I smile writing this, I tear because our daughter is learning to hug this way. She just molds right in and I know this is building her confidence to be close and to bond. She's not only dancing, she's singing and she's physically showing affection. If you have any children that are emotionally and physically somewhat having a hard time attaching, try music. Try dancing with your child. It's amazing the results in a short period of time. I'm a Mother that always tries to find different outlets, different techniques to reach in previous posts, muppets or puppets are also a great tool for opening communication. If anything, lifting a frown to a smile.

Music does bring people together. It allows us to experience the same emotions. People everywhere are the same in heart and spirit. - John Denver.

1 comment:

  1. Hi there, this is a really lovely post. Just wanted to say hi and that it was great to meet you and your family yesterday. Not sure how to send an email here but mine is if you ever have a spare moment amongst the busy-ness!
    Take care,