tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8891349173918934892024-03-19T03:53:00.562-07:00Live Big!Just a big unique crazy family consisting of twenty individuals and three dogs! It's a day by day kinda BIG!"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.comBlogger740125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-17541742717394133782021-05-03T15:10:00.006-07:002021-05-03T20:24:19.511-07:00"She's a rebuild"<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: medium;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxpMqT2T1E0ImOeXJ9v5MZ4OqJP4K34UhR5VjZQ1bGN9tFfhZkrIekOWRcF9Wq2-rUxb59H4j7JPMwlB8whHlS2RfROIA0nvXK_Qs6kmgeBJIAevPfCLnlFW7BwLT4s9OAHV1NT83inrT5/s600/rebuild.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="415" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxpMqT2T1E0ImOeXJ9v5MZ4OqJP4K34UhR5VjZQ1bGN9tFfhZkrIekOWRcF9Wq2-rUxb59H4j7JPMwlB8whHlS2RfROIA0nvXK_Qs6kmgeBJIAevPfCLnlFW7BwLT4s9OAHV1NT83inrT5/w466-h415/rebuild.jpg" width="466" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></p><span> <span style="color: #fff2cc;"> </span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"> </span></span></span><span><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;">It's
been three years since I wrote. Within those three years I've lost myself. I
stopped writing. I stopped crafting. I stopped going to pole fitness. I stopped
hiking and exercising. I've blankly stared at my bedroom wall for three years
listening to music and occasionally drinking wine with my dogs. </span></span></span><div><span><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>I (we) lost two
dogs in 2020. We gained another Labradoodle named Kaylani, named after Kayla.
Dogs are personally my therapy and with significant loss (such as loosing a
child) your existence as you once knew it disappears. It takes time to
rebuild your new you. It's hard to explain unless you're a bereaved parent. I
never even knew what "bereavement" meant until my daughter died.
Meaning it’s a period after a loss when mourning occurs. </span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>For the first two
years after Kayla passed it was under investigation. My grief
"stages" were and are all over the place. Shock. Guilt. Denial.
Anger. Sadness. Bargaining. Depression. A complete and utter loss of what could
have been. The shock came immediately after the Constable told us the news. I
started yelling, "Get out! You have the wrong daughter! You have the wrong
family!" Because the shock was so mentally and physically crippling I
found myself unconsciously yelling, "NO" over and over again for hours.
I found myself vomiting. My chest was heavy, my head was spinning. It was the
worst experience and even as I write this almost three years later, my chest
inside tightens. My tears start to collect.</span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span> This kind of
trauma develops PTSD and it did. This inhibits my memory. I don’t
even remember how long I was in shock for. I do remember the bargaining and the
begging that if anything, this wasn’t true. The guilt, the denial, the anger
and the sadness moves along side with each other. It doesn’t matter that it’s
been three years, it is and will always be there inside my heart and soul. It
comes like a wave from a good and or not so good thought.</span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span> To date, I really
have to think hard about my daughter Kayla. Time passed only confirms she’s not
here on earth, it reconfirms that she’s not traveling and I won’t see or hear
from her, that indeed my daughter’s future is gone. </span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>What do I do now? Day by
day I continue with my responsibilities as a Mother to my other children. I
keep busy. On special dates, I prepare and give in my daughter’s honor. I have
my loyal companions – dogs. I have continued with my garden. </span></span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>How have I
changed?</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;">Well….. I’m not as social. I’m
not as happy. I have a mask with a resting face hiding inside. I can cry at the
drop of a hat. My motivation is low. However that being said, I get up. I
continue to move forward within this body trying to find the new me. Who I was
is gone. I struggle with PTSD and Anxiety. Depression comes and goes. </span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>Back in
2015 my husband became deathly ill with MRSA that went throughout his system
attacking every organ. He had infection pockets throughout and up and down his
spine. He was septic twice. After being in the hospital for three months, I was
told to be prepared. I thought that was the worst experience of my life. Since
then (because he’s compromised) I often awake wondering if this is the day. </span></span></span></div><div><span><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>Five
months after Kayla passed we almost lost our son, my second born to a horrific
roll over accident. He was airlifted to Vancouver where he recovered from
hematomas against his lungs and heart. He went through physiotherapy for his
fractured pelvis, prior to this, his femur was crushed where he has a titanium
rod, prior to that, he suffered from spontaneous Pneumothoraxes while receiving
lung surgeries.</span></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span> I could go on about past traumas that have affected me however
nothing compares to child loss. </span></span><span style="font-size: large;">After
loss you become afraid of loss because it’s real. It’s not “that worry” that’s occasionally
in the back of our heads anymore. It is raw and eventually all of our futures
will endure illness, accidents and death. </span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>How I’ve changed is still a question mark….. I may have all these
broken elements to me however I can share, I can support, I can really listen
and my own personal journey has truly made me understand that we are only
visiting this world. We have to treat people with kindness, we need to give to
others, we need to take photographs and all those moments you’re with someone,
those moments need to be cherished. </span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>Before Kayla’s death I was that type of
Mother who needed to make sure everyone was minding rules, I needed to make
sure I was that parent who was raising sixteen kids to their fullest
potentials. I am still that Mother however I’m more relaxed. Excepting that
sometimes rules can be broken. It’s not about the spilt milk. Just remember,
over that spilled milk (your reaction) will come guilt when that person is
gone. I’ve learned to become more subdued and more equal, rather than trying to
“parent” all the time. </span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>With this new found me, I’ve always loved nature, the
outdoors and today, I love it even more so because I feel closer to Kayla. I
look for signs. I talk to her. I’m working on relationships as a human being
visiting this world while not trying to control it. As much as I hate my
journey and the cards that have been dealt…. I’m alive and with this gift, I
want to find and be the best version of me. </span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>I’m still working on this with
weekly zoom meetings with Camp Kerry. I have befriended others that have lost
children, not only through the internet but through Compassionate Friends. I don’t say,
“Yes” all the time because it’s now time to take care of Carrie. Carrie, who is
she? Again...I question this every day. She’s this middle aged emotionally damaged woman seeking peace. She’s
working on her 1972 VW Busses, picking up the Guitar, gardening and wanting to
write her book with her dogs by her side. She’s a woman that is a human being;
she’s just not a parent with duties to fulfill in this entitled world, she’s
just not a grieving parent. Under everything you see, was a child with all the
hopes and dreams that were shattered along the way. </span></span></div><div><span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: large;"><span> </span>Carrie, she’s a rebuild. "That's who I am" To conclude….in the midst of all my nuts and bolts, I am grateful for who I have
in my life. I am grateful believing and knowing that our existence, our energy,
our souls do shift to another realm where we will all be together again. As
much as I just wanted to die at the beginning of this journey….I am grateful I’m
still alive. To be continued……"She's a rebuild" </span></span><div><p></p></div></div>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-83507488160594103932018-10-24T12:46:00.001-07:002018-10-25T09:54:56.905-07:00A Life Nightmare<br />
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<span style="background-color: #660000; color: white;">After
my last post, I've tried to write. I would write pages then delete.
It's been five months since we lost our oldest daughter. My only
biological daughter and I still carry this heaviness inside my chest.
I wear a mask and I walk day by day coping as best as I can.
Unfortunately I am haunted by my own mind. It becomes consuming. I
think about our last phone call. Our last text. I think about all the
good and bad times. I'm consumed by certain events. I count the days.
The 24<sup>th</sup> (even as much as I try to have a more positive
outlook) it's filled with anxiety and my head becomes dizzy and
unfocused. I can only explain it as if I'm on drugs. Speaking to
councilors does not help. My only source I find that helps is
speaking to other grieving parents. Then we mourn together. There's
this one family, one parent that I've connected with on whom lost
their precious daughter the same week. I'm thankful however it's
devastating to know they have the same pain. I can only describe it
as my chest has been opened and a chunk of my heart has been ripped
out and it just aches all the time. I can feel my heart pounding when
my anxiety sets in. Anxiety that I really never had before. It comes
when I'm out in crowds. Especially when it's people that I know. I've
always been very social but now I feel better when I walk into a
gathering and no one knows of me. I know that I have lots of
supporters and friends that love me. It doesn't take away the
loneliness I feel inside. It's indescribable and I only think that
parents who have lost understand this. Does time heal? Apparently so
I've been told but I don't believe this. I believe it gets easier but
as time moves forward, it only gets worse knowing I'm aging without
my daughter. Kayla being my first born at a young age was my savior.
I always told her this. I will never understand why she was taken. I
also feel so selfish lately because it's not all about me. This has
changed me forever and I hate knowing that too. It makes me walk day
by day even sadder. Sometimes, even as I write this I feel like I'm
going to vomit. Physically my heart hurts. Just out of no where
everything becomes pounding. That's grief. Why oh why...... I keep telling people
that my husband and I just wanted to make a difference in this
world....then we are thrown a bad deck of cards for years. How now am
I suppose to stay positive? Nothing could be worse then this. I share
because I need too. I write because it will always be my passion. I
do appreciate every ones support and words of guidance. It does help.
However this forever path can not be changed. There's no fork in the
road I can veer too. Life is unfair. I used to believe that things
happen for a reason. Such bullshit. There's no reason why any one's
child should die. Call me “Negative Nancy” but I'm sure most
would agree. I guess it will be interesting on how all our
paths will unfold, and on how my thoughts will shift as time goes on. I
understand that we all grieve differently and only time will reveal.
For now, all of this is a dark cloud. That's all I see. Yes I get
that my daughter is at peace. Of course she is, she doesn't feel like
I do. She doesn't feel at all. All I can conclude at this time is grieving a child is the worst possible nightmare a person can
feel. It's a life nightmare. "Forever 28 my baby girl....I miss you more then any of my words can describe and I'm sorry that your momma hurts so much. I know you wouldn't want me too.....but you should be here" I've learned something through this ordeal, you can raise and protect your children throughout their lives but it's never enough. Death happens unexpectedly and without notice. Not one of us will escape it.</span></div>
<br />"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-36846095155430703202018-07-30T16:59:00.003-07:002018-07-30T16:59:38.893-07:00RIP Kayla Lynn - :( <br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">It
doesn't matter what we all believe. Sickness and death comes. We can
all say, “Not my family” but we literally have no control. It
comes without notice. I wasn't sure if I was able to write and share
my feelings any time soon however writing has been gnawing at me. Our
worst nightmare happened on May 24</span><sup>th</sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">. A constable came
knocking at our door. He asked to come inside and to move into a
private room. Immediately I thought, “Oh great, one of our
teenagers did something really bad” I proceeded to tell him that he
can tell us here, in our kitchen. My anxiety set in. Then he said,
“Your daughter Kayla Lynn Martini has died” My husband and I kept
telling him he had the wrong person, that this isn't possible. “Not
our daughter” I literally was yelling, “No no no” over and over
again for hours while the constable called victim services. When
victim services arrived, the constable then stated we needed to
proceed in calling immediate family members. “No no no, you have
the wrong family......the wrong girl” Shock was setting in. The
toilet became my saving grace that night. Everything within my body,
my emotions, my physical being.....my heart and soul was being thrown
up. This can't be real. How can this be? Not our daughter. Not our
family. We are already struggling with a compromised husband and
father now our first born, our intelligent and beautiful daughter is
gone!? Why!? How!? Not her. Please not her. Oh god.....please not
her. “No” All of a sudden my denial, my anxiety, my everything
that was thrown up just re-piled into my body. A heavy yet hollow
horrible weight. My throat became sore like I swallowed razor blades.
Our daughter is gone. The week before the service there was lots
going on. Not only was I trying to keep the peace with other peoples
emotions, I was organizing (with the help of our family, friends and
our community) to have a service hoping that our daughter would have
liked. You don't normally talk with your children about how they
would want their service. After the service (right or wrong) My
husband and I had to deal with debts, bills, endless costs,
paperwork, our daughters belongings, picking up our daughters
ashes....you name it – everything was hard. Most of every one was
gone too except for close friends and family. It became quieter. The
flowers were dying. All of a sudden our new normal was setting in.
It's true. Our daughter is definitely gone. OMG. It's been only two
months but as every day passes it seems like eternity not hearing
from her. I canceled our trip together which felt like another loss.
As a grieving mother.....my experience is heavy. I feel heavy inside
with a sore throat ALL the time. I may smile but I'm completely
devastated. Now that everything is concluded with our daughters death
(service, other arrangements, bills, extra) we are left struggling
not only with every ones emotions and our own, with peoples questions
and rumors. We have heard a lot that I will not repeat. I understand
peoples concern. I truly do. I understand when some walk in the other
direction when they see me. Here's what you can do. Don't repeat
rumors. Don't believe anything you hear. If you see me, I will not
bite. It's okay. I joined a grieving site and I've also connected
with people who lost. I've found this to be the most beneficial. If
you haven't lost, it's hard to understand and I get it. I was that
person. I desperately wish I was still that person. The only words
one can say is, “I'm sorry” Loosing a child is a parents worst
nightmare and unfortunately it is here forever. It will never go
away. Grieving will never stop. This is somehow our new normal. There
is no time limit with grief. Don't ever say, “Get over it” or
“You should be over it” Try to imagine yourself in our shoes.
It's been two months and I thought to myself, Wow.....I am devastated
but not angry” but guess what? The stages of grief is
uncontrollable. It comes and goes without warning. I recently became
angry after returning from our much needed road trip. I said and did
somethings that I will never forgive myself for. I'm finding out,
hurt people hurt people. I feel like I'm loosing myself. I walk, I
talk, I continue to live and I'm trying really hard to maintain my
daily responsibilities but some days, some hours, sometimes within a
minute I'm drowning in grief. I hate this. I don't want this. This
isn't me. Where am I and where is my daughter? When I picked up her
ashes....I was shocked. I never thought a body would have so much
ash. Then inside a little bag was my daughters jewelry that was taken
off of her body. I slipped her ring onto my finger where it remains
today. It was never meant for me however as sentimental as I am, I
won't take it off. I sleep with her elephant. Every time I see
anything elephant I contemplate needing it. Some of my family and
friends think I'm crazy. Truth....I already was and this tragic life
changing event has enhanced that truth. Right, wrong or indifferent
when a loss like this happens, life as we once knew it is forever
gone. While taking it one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a
time, I know our futures will never be the same. It's July 30</span><sup>th</sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">
today as I write this, I miss our daughter. I miss our happiness. I
miss worrying about her. One of the most strangest feeling is....not
worrying about Kayla. She is gone. A huge shift happened. Life to
death. I understand she is at peace but I want to worry about her. I
as a mother was looking forward to having a mature adult relationship
with her. I was looking forward to traveling and experiencing those
next stages of life with her. Kayla was talking about children.
Grandchildren I will never get to hold. It's not fair. There is so
many parents that have lost their children, and I am so sorry. I am
truly sorry for your loss. There is no amount of time that can change
what is. It's a loss that we have to live with and from knowing what
I know now – we all grieve differently, our grief will last our
life time. For people wondering how they can help or what to do when
they run into someone like me, just “I'm sorry” works. It's okay
to say nothing more. I or whoever who is grieving will take the next
step. Thank you for reading this far and understanding. Our daughter
Kayla Lynn just turned 28 years old. She loved to travel, she loved
people. She had a gentle nature about her. She supported her friends
and family. She supported me. She was my rock. My first born. She
loved life and lived it. She was intelligent and independent. She was
just that amazing beautiful young lady with the world in her hands. I
always told her how proud of her I was. I always made sure she knew I
supported any of her decisions. I honestly don't know what our future
holds. It's a difficult journey. A journey I wish onto no one. Kayla
always said, “We all need to live our dash” From the moment we
are born to the day we pass. Because of her, I will not fail. I will
struggle but I will not fail. I love you so much Kayla Lynn....... I
can't worry about you anymore but you're always on my mind and in my
heart. Always</span></span></div>
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<br />"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-48449547025832282022018-04-27T20:40:00.002-07:002018-04-27T20:40:16.576-07:00April 27th, 2018 - WOW!<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: black;">Wow! I missed this little sanctuary of thoughts that I've written for over a decade! I still remember fondly of my first typewriter. It was given to me on my twelfth birthday. I upgraded to a electronic typewriter when I turned seventeen! Now look! It's e-books and sharing thoughts simply through face book and Instagram. However I have that writer blood in me where hand written letters, cards, and writing a book is ingrained within my soul. Reading back....I've shared a lot of our life. None that I regret. #memories Another little perk I learned was hash tagging. It's so interesting keeping up with the changing trends and technology. Eventually I won't be able too because I doubt I will remember my name if I live that long. lol Even writing has changed. More made up abbreviations. Anyhow bla bla bla.....I've popped back in. I didn't think I would write on here again but I'm a creature of habit. I may fade in and out, change things up but I always return to what I love. Writing is one of them. Lately most of my time has been consumed with gardening, homeschooling and building my art business, "Rock My Island" In fact I now have a little store inside my home! By appointment, any one can come purchase a gift for any occasion! "Rock My Island" should also be a open page on Face Book for any one to follow. Check it out!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">I wanted to also add an update. Our life has been seriously challenging since 2015. We have had hope from the beginning that eventually we can get back on course with our future plans, which included our own home based mechanic and restoration business. This isn’t going to happen. My husband has been through so much. It seems to never end and his pain is unbearable most days. You can’t tell in pictures. S</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">ometimes you can’t tell when seeing him but it’s crippled him. He’s been in severe pain now for several weeks and our answers came in. His L2-3 and L3-4 has severe spinal stenosis. L4-5 and L5-S1 also has severe spinal stenosis and his entire spine has osteophytosis including severe degenerative and generalized disc bulging with central vacuum change including disc herniation is present. He’s been referred to the pain clinic while waiting to see a neurosurgeon in Victoria for spinal surgery. (His spine has been affecting everything) It’s just sad. Maddening. Frustrating. With still eleven kiddos at home, and a future we have been trying hard to maintain came down. Yet inside me knows we will figure this out. So while we wait.....we carry on. Our productivity, and our daily life continues.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: black;">Now I'm going to address another topic. This below paragraph is from my blog about other parents homing "run-aways" I just sigh. These parents think they're helping. Come on.....any one with common sense knows housing someone elses teenager is not supporting any one but enabling the problem.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #8e7cc3;">I'm tired of being silent about this issue that is so bizarre to me. "Housing run-aways"<span style="color: #8e7cc3;"> Our family dynamics with different special needs and attachment issues will likely heighten our percentage for teen run-aways. What I don't understand is why parents will house teenagers that aren't their own without consulting or investigating why a teenager deems themselves "homeless?" We're in a society that 99% of the cases there is a home and if not, there is the Ministry of Children and families. So why on earth would a random parent house, feed, clothe and take responsibilities of a youth that isn't theirs? Unfortunately if the answer is because the teen was cold, starving and complaining about their current living conditions, it doesn't hold ground with me. I as a responsible parent would contact their legal guardian. We should all know that teenagers are seeking their independence in one form or another (and if you're not experienced with that) consult someone that can lead you in the right direction. Do not house a child that isn't yours. It's enabling and should be considered against the law. Our teenager is a complete manipulator, therefore opening your door could only cause you grief. You have no idea the past history, any current physical and mental conditions. It's just so mind boggling to me knowing that parents allow someone they do not know into their home. Perhaps it could be a risk to you!? Any how, our teen run-away has been enabled for quite sometime because people believe they should help but in fact they created the opposite. Without knowing the facts. I decided to write about this topic because it's just unbelievable on how many run-away teenagers are enabled to keep running because of individuals claiming they're helping "the teens" situation. There is teenagers everywhere manipulating people and I'm sorry, there should be a consequence for the parents housing children that aren't theirs. That might correct the problem and have less teenagers on the street. I walked by a young teen, dressed wearing a hoody, DC shoes and a clean baseball cap just the other day asking for money because he's apparently homeless. I told him to go home or contact the Ministry. No child is homeless unless they choose to be. I do understand there is certain scenarios that warrant children to run but again, investigate it before opening yourself up to manipulation and a responsibility you will regret. So I'm speaking out for all the families that have run-away teenagers and I want to say, "You're not alone and I understand your frustrations when your child is enabled to run" "It's not your fault and us parents need some recognition that we've done the best we could" I'm no longer silent. If my dear teenager is reading this, you know the truths sweetheart. You know what you need to do and you're not homeless. NOR did you have a horrible home! Homeless people are the poor individuals that come from circumstances that have left them on the street. They have no supports. Teenagers have supports, our children definitely have supports. So whoever you are my only advice is to do your homework. For the parent I'm now discussing here, shame on you. You're ignorant. For our "son" good luck! We have bigger issues at hand right now and you know what they are. You will live with that. Consequences eventually come. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">That above paragraph still rings true today. Now to date; we are moving forward as happily as we can be. Hoping for the best possible health for Gerald as he wasn't given a secure or lengthy health span. Thoughts and prayers are needed. While we persevere! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Stay strong, positive and productive! </span></span>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-3397092165846824892017-12-12T09:29:00.002-08:002017-12-12T09:29:45.043-08:00Rock My Island <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">"Hello every one!" I wanted to update you on how great "Rock My Island" has been! AND I have been busy! Here is a few samples from my home based store! If you're interested in following more creations, "Rock My Island" has its own FB page! Like and follow my page! There is unique gifts for any occasion! I can also attempt custom orders! Seen below is a few for your viewing pleasure! </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Monarch Butterfly</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzg1lvPQ2CEB-VSGPUbKyFlPpLBPi2YZ5Rvq7lSdgYpCA2cLFoAWSMPO3jfByUUzeoBew0XStenJj9OuqjLjsFjfLhRHrO4lnMjwsBsOIK8CrdVJDVookrjd-0TTXMYE6-Ve6yrbOuAnv5/s1600/rockmyisland1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="735" data-original-width="594" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzg1lvPQ2CEB-VSGPUbKyFlPpLBPi2YZ5Rvq7lSdgYpCA2cLFoAWSMPO3jfByUUzeoBew0XStenJj9OuqjLjsFjfLhRHrO4lnMjwsBsOIK8CrdVJDVookrjd-0TTXMYE6-Ve6yrbOuAnv5/s320/rockmyisland1.jpg" width="258" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Ship wrecked!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkArMecpNLslQULLF_da4NlFaECBJP2X5A8LOf-EIYdtm2mk15jcynzB8kOmw0sI_RerfIeDheH-S4tQT4qGw_poJbFh3Awr8l-zMMZZXdi-DpaP7cmgjmlyOe_U05GEfGKjNvXfLoqpwE/s1600/rockmyisland2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkArMecpNLslQULLF_da4NlFaECBJP2X5A8LOf-EIYdtm2mk15jcynzB8kOmw0sI_RerfIeDheH-S4tQT4qGw_poJbFh3Awr8l-zMMZZXdi-DpaP7cmgjmlyOe_U05GEfGKjNvXfLoqpwE/s320/rockmyisland2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Oscar the owl</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWf71nqZfvsgKERA31gaPdN_U7LE6YeSdpFlkDrwsu4JoQYri5n4Cp1YGUQFG3hm2K25JSH9Ive7egdJkqzb99jGcngA5duyawoXNyO2eENB5Z6t5DnHCGy5UHjZNywoaWfr94HsIgfZWy/s1600/rockmyisland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWf71nqZfvsgKERA31gaPdN_U7LE6YeSdpFlkDrwsu4JoQYri5n4Cp1YGUQFG3hm2K25JSH9Ive7egdJkqzb99jGcngA5duyawoXNyO2eENB5Z6t5DnHCGy5UHjZNywoaWfr94HsIgfZWy/s320/rockmyisland.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">The rock fish!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc_RTgdNZcl8zbkaGOdY6VQ4tG6NouIpPeDZu7dD6UXTzbUc9tbiOhBM1te2Tgpp9pTOe-EM2ePncEnI4plJN7F3WJYiovwHecJ8dIHjkA24GvcSJZ8UjDBLLNrXG8lP-bSIoHzzPAGfGn/s1600/rockmyisland4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="739" data-original-width="599" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc_RTgdNZcl8zbkaGOdY6VQ4tG6NouIpPeDZu7dD6UXTzbUc9tbiOhBM1te2Tgpp9pTOe-EM2ePncEnI4plJN7F3WJYiovwHecJ8dIHjkA24GvcSJZ8UjDBLLNrXG8lP-bSIoHzzPAGfGn/s320/rockmyisland4.jpg" width="259" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Dancer</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg32ptxoxChAPcu781B24mTIkuSeRh8c3-chh9FOnFnDBvZjnj2YUBWhyphenhyphenS6qcOB-ZRdOwMiV-ZG-tbIcjQbDpdRYgEojA6WrysmwnLICcTsGElf_T7mu9fCCGhV7zI2f4_IHdEzmKpNljr/s1600/rockmyisland5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="740" data-original-width="583" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg32ptxoxChAPcu781B24mTIkuSeRh8c3-chh9FOnFnDBvZjnj2YUBWhyphenhyphenS6qcOB-ZRdOwMiV-ZG-tbIcjQbDpdRYgEojA6WrysmwnLICcTsGElf_T7mu9fCCGhV7zI2f4_IHdEzmKpNljr/s320/rockmyisland5.jpg" width="252" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Pole dancer</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRVl_O9l86doaQlcdC-uwKW0Dkhet_ufNpmz9K4WXGTfTm7c8lKVVp1AQvAPe4pF3tuVXCyekKAof9eJ77HotROYUE0bQmCI0lMHcVcovBkUAprq0IEUxyYBrDCqg73f1UYyUZcxo3e33l/s1600/rockmyisland6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRVl_O9l86doaQlcdC-uwKW0Dkhet_ufNpmz9K4WXGTfTm7c8lKVVp1AQvAPe4pF3tuVXCyekKAof9eJ77HotROYUE0bQmCI0lMHcVcovBkUAprq0IEUxyYBrDCqg73f1UYyUZcxo3e33l/s320/rockmyisland6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Another Monarch Butterfly</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgln8hztiLGDjYwIVkBn8FuPW4sA3fdtK3HeEdk7VErWxDDDuzJrbCVS5uV7kW9h4RkA0sLDLcYmETmdjUQzSL59psidIOrzvJG5pXU0PPL9Zmh3Dysf8LLr7P-yep2MLagbRwzxtz4M6sD/s1600/rockmyisland7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="719" data-original-width="585" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgln8hztiLGDjYwIVkBn8FuPW4sA3fdtK3HeEdk7VErWxDDDuzJrbCVS5uV7kW9h4RkA0sLDLcYmETmdjUQzSL59psidIOrzvJG5pXU0PPL9Zmh3Dysf8LLr7P-yep2MLagbRwzxtz4M6sD/s320/rockmyisland7.jpg" width="260" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Forward!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjfN42j1CZpWXzb34L8KiZSRpD7ZYmd0R2vVuW8BqiCGxT_yy8QgvojSrQVymvABmiKsQ9pwdhdK8SQLODie4YeaCdjISJ4AZJiBUuYohdalaSMcTRVQS8JxL91npNtwrKFuzfgqalCqcE/s1600/rockmyisland8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="736" data-original-width="684" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjfN42j1CZpWXzb34L8KiZSRpD7ZYmd0R2vVuW8BqiCGxT_yy8QgvojSrQVymvABmiKsQ9pwdhdK8SQLODie4YeaCdjISJ4AZJiBUuYohdalaSMcTRVQS8JxL91npNtwrKFuzfgqalCqcE/s320/rockmyisland8.jpg" width="297" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">This was a custom order. Mail delivered Ele just recently!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdHkS3yjfLZGRVg76lRi6VdFHdr2g79no5zyfEORIjNUYB18O2tA1J1CkTyZKFIp7VIRuELmu44tUfWKyk-ac-53mYVt2MWtA4yNCzSKKrB0JQknkzvkWwJ1ZV6TedWF862yPvDw7HskBj/s1600/rockmyisland9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="742" data-original-width="602" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdHkS3yjfLZGRVg76lRi6VdFHdr2g79no5zyfEORIjNUYB18O2tA1J1CkTyZKFIp7VIRuELmu44tUfWKyk-ac-53mYVt2MWtA4yNCzSKKrB0JQknkzvkWwJ1ZV6TedWF862yPvDw7HskBj/s320/rockmyisland9.jpg" width="259" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">A beautiful blue hummingbird</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkSYEHxjSeennbaypURII55163-1vZVunyWVzVP-7GCIQT4C-s7PXbp_Bzx18zGyEjXmaJDjPw51crKqwXrFm_hsBITXm35y4jgRiWlk_8zhDbGhrcyAhnEelBHctCocJjC53gCo990_lm/s1600/rockmyisland10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkSYEHxjSeennbaypURII55163-1vZVunyWVzVP-7GCIQT4C-s7PXbp_Bzx18zGyEjXmaJDjPw51crKqwXrFm_hsBITXm35y4jgRiWlk_8zhDbGhrcyAhnEelBHctCocJjC53gCo990_lm/s320/rockmyisland10.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">John 11</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5NgWb1laoVbWaxayv7d6_rJEcPgouh3juWi1C82Cs39nl7kCosuCQTZ7GQKAteeiCsYt0sjZJEvz_Y6AVI_49b9KIBbU_rwypc1lI59MBrVejvFnDkw851mDou4Hn2ZeGERrxMOyzs7Ku/s1600/rockmyisland11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="931" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5NgWb1laoVbWaxayv7d6_rJEcPgouh3juWi1C82Cs39nl7kCosuCQTZ7GQKAteeiCsYt0sjZJEvz_Y6AVI_49b9KIBbU_rwypc1lI59MBrVejvFnDkw851mDou4Hn2ZeGERrxMOyzs7Ku/s320/rockmyisland11.jpg" width="310" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Want a snowman without the snow!? These are my "Moofiss" collection!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXj7PtlYzCedyui41DnCENPFDH9YaoFHXZ3Vbf1snkCN_qArKOqedMvqnK1cQkwc8LUGXkDlXXIcrSw0hMTJ4ik686qpExerbNKU2otnWbdLnGvCfjcy6k483V0M93vIsMPG51nrh-HJMG/s1600/rockmyisland12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXj7PtlYzCedyui41DnCENPFDH9YaoFHXZ3Vbf1snkCN_qArKOqedMvqnK1cQkwc8LUGXkDlXXIcrSw0hMTJ4ik686qpExerbNKU2otnWbdLnGvCfjcy6k483V0M93vIsMPG51nrh-HJMG/s320/rockmyisland12.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">We attended two craft fairs in December! See my little helper!?</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhfza9rczysPTHefCwo49kI4jJIgwg-WssUS6UGK5jnzx2NLAvR0ZaVL3owqIMtbS_GXNKnggzK-XplfMZwKrMO6hpmEDEcIw6CR9KFD_8aoYGIN1J1kf48sV5KTjNaTcfp9q8JUKr_QE7/s1600/rockmyisland13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhfza9rczysPTHefCwo49kI4jJIgwg-WssUS6UGK5jnzx2NLAvR0ZaVL3owqIMtbS_GXNKnggzK-XplfMZwKrMO6hpmEDEcIw6CR9KFD_8aoYGIN1J1kf48sV5KTjNaTcfp9q8JUKr_QE7/s320/rockmyisland13.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Brown Bear</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN4F034MQLsiXgv6dUBB1ZYDNH2UreVjFjETYlaRG4s5WUsGnFDQB5pbmUv8IChfNTd7ZQMOt-IZOghiZprFrj5Qo6wT0pRasOsTo4Qf8i13g3Hamo6ixcIkfxeDZDpmGMHuz5aD-lNyZ-/s1600/rockmyisland14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="728" data-original-width="584" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN4F034MQLsiXgv6dUBB1ZYDNH2UreVjFjETYlaRG4s5WUsGnFDQB5pbmUv8IChfNTd7ZQMOt-IZOghiZprFrj5Qo6wT0pRasOsTo4Qf8i13g3Hamo6ixcIkfxeDZDpmGMHuz5aD-lNyZ-/s320/rockmyisland14.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Love feather with a real owl feather and a little Vancouver Island inside.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhxZtIiovARqxz6ZeSJ79RNNR-Q-cpFC_qCThsoQVnASUZ6VXZDllkz5TS2eW8ZS9-_xQnH92zyVEE643ZusD3iZlJM-fohapI9TDbhCQGNXfEWS9Z0xyPxUvJW7Zsrhyzb4OVnrAXFl0V/s1600/rockmyisland15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="749" data-original-width="591" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhxZtIiovARqxz6ZeSJ79RNNR-Q-cpFC_qCThsoQVnASUZ6VXZDllkz5TS2eW8ZS9-_xQnH92zyVEE643ZusD3iZlJM-fohapI9TDbhCQGNXfEWS9Z0xyPxUvJW7Zsrhyzb4OVnrAXFl0V/s320/rockmyisland15.jpg" width="252" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">I have lots of different unique Vancouver Island art pieces! You will need to come see!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggV_9mrgVods9BUGjddvc57pwtluFSvO2mti-ON0hnG8dDqGZCGpQ1u2pkLCYh1nYD69SyosDRn2fsJHbiIJg8_LAxnbpbZ2JTF2maKwIP5Q9TG6fAchj_A7nXmMcCSkLfroHjaSwCttr5/s1600/rockmyisland16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="738" data-original-width="593" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggV_9mrgVods9BUGjddvc57pwtluFSvO2mti-ON0hnG8dDqGZCGpQ1u2pkLCYh1nYD69SyosDRn2fsJHbiIJg8_LAxnbpbZ2JTF2maKwIP5Q9TG6fAchj_A7nXmMcCSkLfroHjaSwCttr5/s320/rockmyisland16.jpg" width="257" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">I have lots of different Blue Herons!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhafR5cVURLtGUkhAMwultPXtL6Hl_PeVy7yCuT0v5h7DaQh6pXZn7rC3DKL-R0qlmI9aXxnjQS8UdhDJuWxUwdId_y1HIeFJ4eELYnA-F0D_UDDXj608opqSsEFPZIBSjl85SpekiJMkaq/s1600/rockmyisland17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="516" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhafR5cVURLtGUkhAMwultPXtL6Hl_PeVy7yCuT0v5h7DaQh6pXZn7rC3DKL-R0qlmI9aXxnjQS8UdhDJuWxUwdId_y1HIeFJ4eELYnA-F0D_UDDXj608opqSsEFPZIBSjl85SpekiJMkaq/s320/rockmyisland17.jpg" width="172" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Be different!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhsXIdJd76hEKAcMYBX0w7sTSUz8BTX7CKvlnGFYBWhdH1zDY6f8R55neCH2RZnOcMmCp4Y7IRMtseLrW82suoPR5HYamKfq_zp0wlEcfsqF5JWWSGftysfQA_L8jkWBy6MhlBjH7sL2JD/s1600/rockmyisland18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="733" data-original-width="580" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhsXIdJd76hEKAcMYBX0w7sTSUz8BTX7CKvlnGFYBWhdH1zDY6f8R55neCH2RZnOcMmCp4Y7IRMtseLrW82suoPR5HYamKfq_zp0wlEcfsqF5JWWSGftysfQA_L8jkWBy6MhlBjH7sL2JD/s320/rockmyisland18.jpg" width="253" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">This whale tale is one of my favs...</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFh2_DgM4ZM_I9J_s5Tab7Xo0GWlq-LY3D5w3gJ06pNEEhCK9t1ie3ro79tJJO1gDtbUbTmap8eNEzQB2xm5Fjd3tTU3_wwJ7nUpKG4yMSy_OGMkdJgqiqJHCkSSs6wxswf-YGkm0K9aNY/s1600/rockmyisland19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="908" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFh2_DgM4ZM_I9J_s5Tab7Xo0GWlq-LY3D5w3gJ06pNEEhCK9t1ie3ro79tJJO1gDtbUbTmap8eNEzQB2xm5Fjd3tTU3_wwJ7nUpKG4yMSy_OGMkdJgqiqJHCkSSs6wxswf-YGkm0K9aNY/s320/rockmyisland19.jpg" width="264" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">A wise little owl, with a real soft owl feather.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2h1bD-oiL47PT32r7oEY3GAua2E7m9zB9kAh-GWZOptjPUOdkgDAhDU4HWeTjF4yDROnup8o6PlqHffQSjN43TNI7m_gSvZF3Mpbd1jckbuQo9-g62CQ75iOp_V-bfgFdFB-GqhMcPWN9/s1600/rockmyisland20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="740" data-original-width="598" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2h1bD-oiL47PT32r7oEY3GAua2E7m9zB9kAh-GWZOptjPUOdkgDAhDU4HWeTjF4yDROnup8o6PlqHffQSjN43TNI7m_gSvZF3Mpbd1jckbuQo9-g62CQ75iOp_V-bfgFdFB-GqhMcPWN9/s320/rockmyisland20.jpg" width="258" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">A Elk</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxhgZy0Ne27M6gR8Z2GdQ_pdEXzxTqqGg1YOx9PoruzEHyLp1Ht7wX5MaaP74vBQoUlwn5fus2pY3uFhQWLighAt6cWgVq9W6mOIabCeWGHmGb9EzgsVciimOfeB7HYXCmQJEBJ3TxLgWF/s1600/rockmyisland21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxhgZy0Ne27M6gR8Z2GdQ_pdEXzxTqqGg1YOx9PoruzEHyLp1Ht7wX5MaaP74vBQoUlwn5fus2pY3uFhQWLighAt6cWgVq9W6mOIabCeWGHmGb9EzgsVciimOfeB7HYXCmQJEBJ3TxLgWF/s320/rockmyisland21.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Exhale</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI7l4AamaDwfGdHg_MtKbZyB7oUBUtmyDRu6D96l3awgpgntK3MByPMlzqTukaKphcGUgzU1xoRyBg7neCqLtfFv5q5TYgA-_q78KZx7QnY3oWjL7JGX3uLoNi6smF8eO4oUjLYd4w3veM/s1600/rockmyisland22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="714" data-original-width="750" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI7l4AamaDwfGdHg_MtKbZyB7oUBUtmyDRu6D96l3awgpgntK3MByPMlzqTukaKphcGUgzU1xoRyBg7neCqLtfFv5q5TYgA-_q78KZx7QnY3oWjL7JGX3uLoNi6smF8eO4oUjLYd4w3veM/s320/rockmyisland22.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">I have several different mermaids!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPZ-7HQpjTzjuhadEctDFy3DuJGH34KNJLAgDh1DTeFZ-erR6-urgmpAX_Q9FxzkrwiKceyT5BpxkjQkXCeXJFzi1VHscOLHo04if9NQy64mx18rDUZw5GasmeDZwOSRlR9riphDt3SSCf/s1600/rockmyisland23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPZ-7HQpjTzjuhadEctDFy3DuJGH34KNJLAgDh1DTeFZ-erR6-urgmpAX_Q9FxzkrwiKceyT5BpxkjQkXCeXJFzi1VHscOLHo04if9NQy64mx18rDUZw5GasmeDZwOSRlR9riphDt3SSCf/s320/rockmyisland23.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">I have lots of other art pieces. If you're local, msg me and come visit! If you're off Vancouver Island and are interested in supporting a beginner artisan, follow my FB page, "Rock My Island" and "some" pieces can ship. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="background-color: black;">Stay tuned, I plan on writing my annual year end post! </span></span></div>
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<br />"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-88775184026964032462017-09-07T10:24:00.001-07:002017-09-07T10:24:33.792-07:00Our spider web<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil4kkiYITbH0TWzYLg4iXiN5mY30U0r2aENRDpCF9m8k57qulIEIdP2gvWSiJKxUtnPHoFts_hLOOoxk5TXWfT0Fb6GMyuvTwQEMUsrH65TkCnIUhF5_Pf8P81QtVh6M1GDeYYc_GVa-WW/s1600/Spiderweb_with_frost.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil4kkiYITbH0TWzYLg4iXiN5mY30U0r2aENRDpCF9m8k57qulIEIdP2gvWSiJKxUtnPHoFts_hLOOoxk5TXWfT0Fb6GMyuvTwQEMUsrH65TkCnIUhF5_Pf8P81QtVh6M1GDeYYc_GVa-WW/s320/Spiderweb_with_frost.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">It
was an interesting summer. We had family arrive. Five of our boys
went to camp. We went on day adventures. Attended a few concerts. I
tried to spend some time alone. Then two of my oldest sons and I went
to Mexico where I had my teeth worked on. I met new friends. All in
all it was a decent summer without any medical situations going on.
It was refreshing and different. A summer we needed. Now that it's
September, I'm back homeschooling seven and we have three Elementary
students in public school. We have become football parents to our one
son, while juggling driving others to and from work. Other sports
will soon emerge throughout the year. During my downtime, I am
getting ready for my first Christmas craft fair in November for my
crafting business “Rock My Island” and slowly but surely starting
to write my book. Pole fitness I continue once a week.....while
practicing on my own poles at home. It's completely crazy thinking
about what you can get done in a day. From 7am to midnight daily it's
non stop. For me, productivity is a must. From baking, cooking,
cleaning, homeschooling to beach combing, field trips, driving,
sports, appointments, fitness, education to crafting to gardening –
you name it, it's accomplished daily. My husband and I are both like
this. Work. Productivity. Proactive. Dedicated. Routines. Structure.
Organized. Hence why our life just molds into a nicely defined pot of
bronze. lol Don't get me wrong....it can be dysfunctional. Crazy.
Stressful and exhausting but its a day by day deliverance. Facing
challenges as they come and sometimes by storm like Gerald's health
or teenagers searching for their independence. Definitely our life,
“our home” is like a spider web of directions. Our path can be
sticky, we can be caught at times fighting harder then before to stay
on track but we always persevere. The trick and my advise is; “Don't
ever give up” “Get up, move one foot in front of the other....be
proactive for not only your family, for yourself” “Own your
feelings. Share your feelings....don't ever be ashamed of your
feelings” “Be true with everything that you do for others and for
yourself” Most importantly, “Learn to listen” That I remind
myself every day and as I age, I'm getting better at just listening
to others. Everybody's perspective is different and regardless if
it's right or wrong, listening to someone is one of the most
important things you can do. So as we move into fall, weaving through
our spider web we're embracing the colder weather. We are looking
forward to tomorrow. To living and experiencing. We will continue
moving forward with our glass always full. We all need to embrace
life and each other. After this post...and before
homeschooling.....I'm going to call (not text) and acknowledge people
that I love. Start your day there and continue to make this day and
every day your best proactive day possible. Love to you all and
“Happy Fall” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">That's me! Living and experiencing life from the sky! - "You can too!"</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5pZWZMh9cBzTHVzjT9Nbr9imKdTzTolY0ixFYMD3MWJXiPEGCdHkReIINPHqOBWhLTp3u72SZtQoca36Y8ooepuBVNUqi96u-7nn3ynOb_6uEcLlndJu5TSWQ7J4Tc7bs0fQeqsk8-MAL/s1600/IMG_5280.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5pZWZMh9cBzTHVzjT9Nbr9imKdTzTolY0ixFYMD3MWJXiPEGCdHkReIINPHqOBWhLTp3u72SZtQoca36Y8ooepuBVNUqi96u-7nn3ynOb_6uEcLlndJu5TSWQ7J4Tc7bs0fQeqsk8-MAL/s320/IMG_5280.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-88541896117052623052017-07-17T15:03:00.001-07:002017-07-18T10:53:18.256-07:00"Alone"<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">It was time. I longed to feel and know what it felt like to be truly alone. It wasn't about our children, our challenges, any stressors or the overuse of our fast paced life. From what I can remember, I've never spent "alone" time with myself. What if I don't even like myself? So after dropping off a few of our boys and visiting with a few family members, I made my way to a single owned yurt in the bush. What's written is my sporadic thoughts during my time being alone. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">*The forest is rich, thick, green and full of life. I watched a squirrel for 30 min playing around in a huckle berry tree. I tried talking to the the squirrel but apparently I don't know the squirrel language! I watched for other critters hoping they would stick around so I wasn't alone. I started asking myself, "Am I actually that person that can't be alone? I mean, absolutely "alone" with myself? No noise. No people. No Internet. No one to talk too? I've hiked lots in my life but I was always with other people. As my mind continued to talk, I decided that it was okay to talk out loud, that way it wasn't so silent anymore. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNfCUzyM_2xZqT4hYRiLJEddjavrb4S97hBmJ022JuZbQDatPAoCuw7ibXvEBK5VBkOatmtQ2peMParvAnXzIdXJJY1CQ6pCi9C4kfjjdLDjdT7NyKW3Uwj78PNT9xGGn-ZdnZeL3eH_Rz/s1600/yurt11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNfCUzyM_2xZqT4hYRiLJEddjavrb4S97hBmJ022JuZbQDatPAoCuw7ibXvEBK5VBkOatmtQ2peMParvAnXzIdXJJY1CQ6pCi9C4kfjjdLDjdT7NyKW3Uwj78PNT9xGGn-ZdnZeL3eH_Rz/s320/yurt11.jpg" width="240" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">Then the heart appeared.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">*I started to find myself paranoid. I was listening to every little crackle in the bush. It wasn't a sunny day. It was cooler, cloudy and with the wind all the trees moved making it eery. I remained in the yurt for a little while and eventually made my way outside. Very windy and cool. So ear ringing silent except for the constant crackling of the trees. The silence was almost like its own noise when you're not used to it. It's peaceful, serene but so silent that you can hear the ringing in your own mind. It was very foreign to me. It was just me, alone with nature. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy5ZzkHf4wxu0D3oquv8NluYOitgDoqLw3_85i89beLbSPUmSuQOj3qDf8l5TicLdnmT_l1aimXwHSTPrXpvLoe9JseH7wKt59vGUiZ3x5FtzjIgYMTz83Ax6ypWS7io6EB3KHFXEtjQlK/s1600/yurt2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy5ZzkHf4wxu0D3oquv8NluYOitgDoqLw3_85i89beLbSPUmSuQOj3qDf8l5TicLdnmT_l1aimXwHSTPrXpvLoe9JseH7wKt59vGUiZ3x5FtzjIgYMTz83Ax6ypWS7io6EB3KHFXEtjQlK/s320/yurt2.jpg" width="240" /></a></span></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">"The sunset"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">*I was laying in my yurt looking out to the sky and I could hear faint voices in the woods. Several times I said, "No Carrie, that's just your mind" Then finally I got up and peered out. I saw nothing. So I went outside and walked around the yurt several times. I heard it again. I thought to myself that too much silence just plays with your mind. Then my eye caught the color pink. In a distance all I could see was a woman. I watched to see if they would notice me. Then they were gone. I was hoping they would have seen me. Right then I knew, I like interaction and "alone" isn't for me. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">I was so excited to be alone until now. I started to journal. My mind wrote as I had the erg too. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">*I constantly questioned myself. Over and over. At the best of times I don't think I'm a good enough mother. I feel I need to somehow change. Maybe I don't love enough? Why have I had teenagers run away!? It must be me. Why is my husband sick? Is this punishment that I must deserve? Maybe I'm just being selfish because this isn't about me at all.......our minds are our worst enemies. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyLG0DkXZxi9kv4JkBcVvkRn1xp1sLFBr9l4qEMubrkrL5KWlBphOAfiLgmREu7YoRO4EFmAoiH7BG8tKzw_cSvLK21BgStd6zJg6ttoH3fDAONJV8CEQk5lK4f_iPRcqdwiRT_LatSeUj/s1600/yurt3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyLG0DkXZxi9kv4JkBcVvkRn1xp1sLFBr9l4qEMubrkrL5KWlBphOAfiLgmREu7YoRO4EFmAoiH7BG8tKzw_cSvLK21BgStd6zJg6ttoH3fDAONJV8CEQk5lK4f_iPRcqdwiRT_LatSeUj/s320/yurt3.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">"Where I sat"</span></div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">*When the sun finally came out, it felt like my friend. I happy bright light. I did have my phone with me and I had scattered on and off service. I stayed off the Internet and I mainly used my phone to take pictures and play music once in awhile to curb the ringing silence. I sat in this wonderful homemade lawn chair and when I sat back I could see the tops of the trees with peek a boo glimpses of the sky. I started to cry. I felt sad inside. Why am I doing this!? It was silent with the odd bee or bird singing. My friend squirrel would appear here and there too. I just watched the clouds pass in the sky while listening to the wind whistling in the trees while finally relaxing and absorbing me. Just me. It must be cry worthy being me. I've been so strong. I always will remain strong however feeling like I might have some PTSD and the constant ongoing health stressors that most don't endure....it all came ahead being alone. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">My friend Squirrel</span></div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">*This time I was sitting cross legged on my yurts deck. I kept realizing I was talking to myself out loud. Constantly thinking. Talking. Pacing at times. I tried doing my pebble art. Reading a book. I kept peering out into the woods. Looking around. My friend squirrel would appear from time to time. He was a chatter box. I like that he was there. I felt safe knowing how happy and playful he was in the trees and climbing on the logs. A character. I was going to name him however I just liked the name squirrel. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">*I felt like I had a "wow" moment. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. So as I was sitting in the 1/2 outdoor outhouse, I noticed wood rounds and rocks everywhere. Wood rounds and rocks were my walls! Why didn't I notice this right away!? I just started a crafting business called, "Rock my Island" that consists of wood rounds and rocks! It wasn't a weird feeling that I was surrounded by this, it was a meant to be feeling. I was suppose to do this! The guilty feeling I had even being here left, I no longer feel guilty. "I think?"</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">My potty</span></div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">*Many times I sat in that homemade chair that supported me to see the tops of the trees and the peek a boo sky. I tried hard to train myself to stop thinking. Maybe for once.... not to journal. I figured out something just then....you can not be truly alone, too feel truly at peace until you face yourself. Your mind. I needed to go through and deal with everything in my mind. Fighting my own thoughts. Every guilt. Questioning myself, "Who am I?" "Am I good enough?" "What should I change?" Until I was able to fight my own, I was not truly alone with a calm and peaceful mind of silence.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">Where I sat inside.</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">*Funny, as I sat watching my friend squirrel, I started questioning that too...."Is that the same friend squirrel or is it a different squirrel?" I honestly couldn't tell. Made me think about friends in general. "Are they who we think they are?" I believe in all my friends. I love them all to pieces. I have been burned royally in the past with friends that was not who I thought they were. Interesting on how my friend squirrel reminded me of this. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">* "There's nothing to be afraid of" - Me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">*Don't stop believing. We want to believe in ourselves. We want to believe in our children. Friends. Family. We want to believe in each other. Don't stop believing - I kept chanting to myself. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">*I've noticed the sun makes you stop worrying about everything. It lightens your mind as it does the sky. It lightens the trees and everything around you. It's empowering. That is why we all need this light in our life. The sun. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">* "So when that one bee wants to be your friend and you're having an argument with it" - Me. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">* "Have you ever felt free!?" "Truly free!?" I finally did! I had no clothes on sitting just listening to the birds and maybe that one squirrel friend. It was liberating."I don't like my body. My hair. I don't even know that I like my meaningful tattoos anymore" I kept thinking. I would never sit naked unless I knew I was completely alone.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*I started thinking about hiking and all those moments I spent with others. Experiencing the underground bees, the snuffling coming from bears, the cougars, the wolves and on how when in a group of hikers, it was okay to be surrounded by wildlife. We had each other. Right now I felt grounded and safe being alone because I had my squirrel. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*I hiked down to a beach and interestingly enough I was alone there too. Well almost alone. There was an eagle who sat on a rock bluff nearby. We were both watching each other. I found myself trying to speak eagle. lol As time passed I kept coming to the conclusion that I really don't like being alone. When I went back to the yurt I continued to study every movement and noise in the bush. I again felt paranoid. I can see why people in the reality television series "Alone and Afraid" tap out. Your mind is indeed your worst enemy.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">See my friend Eagle!?</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*Then I found out I wasn't alone. I was heading off to bed early and all I could hear was crackling noises! I would look outside. In every way even feeling afraid, I wanted to know what and where the noises were coming from! I sat back on my bed listening and staring in the directions of the noises. Then all of a sudden there was mice everywhere! I'm not afraid of mice so I got up and told them they're not getting my food. I had a few open bags of crackers. I tip toed towards the one mouse that was staring at me near my crackers and I snatched the crackers back. I started packing up my open food. Jeeze I never noticed them before. I think I was paying too much attention to what was outside but not in the inside! I tried to go back to sleep but they kept running all over the place. It was like they were having a party. Clinging and clanging. I couldn't take it. I grabbed a blanket, pillow and hoofed it to my car. While I was sitting in my car I watched a big cat with a huge tail walk off this log into the bush. Jeeze, now a cougar! Just then I locked my car doors. (ha ha) As my mind was thinking this cougar was a magician and he could open my car door! Again I was thinking to myself, "I do not enjoy being alone. This could be a very long night" </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">See me!?</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*Rise n shine! The night was understandably long. Tossing and turning in my car and watching the dark become to light made for a long night! I started walking back to the yurt. I looked all around me curious to see if that cat was still around. When I went back inside the yurt looking for the mice that kicked me out all I found was mice feces everywhere and including on my bed. I'm here for another night however contemplating if I should just leave or sleep in my car. We shall see how my thoughts are throughout the day.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">I made this......"Trek"</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*I left. Shows how I am not interested staying alone in the bush sharing my bed with mice. I just couldn't do it. I give all my respect to every individual that can. I definitely learned this is not me. I know writers seek solitude to allow their minds to flow, as it did mine however I'm obviously weak in this department of being alone. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">*As I was sitting on the ferry I found myself contemplating if I should just go home or surprise my dad, or my brother, or a friend. I still had two nights left before I had to pick my boys up from camp. My thoughts were so indecisive. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*My experience offered what I wanted. I was alone. Truly alone. I felt I needed to finish my time. I know if I didn't, I would regret it later. Shortly off the ferry I was stopped due to some construction work. I recognized a friends car. I pulled over and sure enough it was! Just then I felt so excited too not be alone anymore! Not only that, my friend Ann found me a place to stay! At her friend Caroline's house. No more mice! No more sleeping in my car! I gratefully accepted this offer. Caroline went out to a potluck dinner that night, so I found myself sitting in her home alone writing again eating the same ole tuna kit that I've been eating for days. Caroline offered for me to make use of her home and her kitchen however I was content with my tuna. I did not want to impose. After a few hours Ann and her husband picked me up to go play rock songs bingo. With people! Music! Interaction! AND I won bingo! Yay! </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*Ann is a very caring lovely woman who is so unconditional. I call her my other mother and it was so nice to visit without having children by my side. In fact every visit I had was purely enjoyable. During rock bingo I tried for the first time deep fried pickles. Disgusting! Why on earth would I pick deep fried pickles for my first normal meal!? I am crazy! For Ann.....I will see her again and more then likely with children. I cherished our time.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">Disgusting!</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*The next day Caroline brought me out for coffee. What a wonderful intelligent woman. We discussed editing, publishers and of course writing books. Caroline has published two children's books and now is writing her biography. I was honored when she asked me if I could pre-read her beginning and give her my honest opinion. Me? I thought, "Wow, yes I will" I loved discussing about writing, even down to how we come up with titles. Titling my posts always become clear half way or at the end of a post. Caroline shared some of her life with me and so did I. It was truly an honoring experience that I will cherish forever. This alone journey inspired me to write once again. Journals have always been in my blood. Caroline just confirmed that I need (as her) to continue to follow our passions and our dreams as she is. It's work. Writing a book isn't easy. Especially when your sharing what's raw and real. For most of us, it's not only accomplishing a dream, it's a healing process. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*My week journey has been out of this world. A reaffirmation to continue what I've been doing for over decades now - writing. Turn this dream into a reality. OH BOY, I have a lot of research and work ahead of me trying to find a publisher that believes in me. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*I waited two sailing waits before I touched base on Vancouver Island. It allowed more time to reflect on my experiences. Interestingly enough now that I'm around people, I chuckle about the hard time I was having alone. I loved my friend squirrel and even the mice that I couldn't handle (as I reflect) it's like a comedy show. Anything else that was in the woods, it shall remain a mystery. I didn't and don't need to know anyhow. My last day before I picked up the boys from camp I spent shopping for two of our children's birthdays. Reality is setting in. There is a reason why we are given the path we're on. Even with the different forks chosen or not, our lives usually become clear. We just have to trust and be patient with our journey. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">"May the force be with us all"</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*Bitter sweet feeling going from one extreme to another. Sometimes it's nice to try different life scenarios to reconfirm that your life is on the right track. Even when I travel, and as much as I love traveling, experiencing new things, there is no place better then home or where your heart is. I was born a caregiver. I knew it when I started lining up all my stuffies and baby dolls on my bed when I was a little girl. I knew I was a writer since as young as I can remember. One of my fondest memories was receiving my first old clunky typewriter (where the keys would stick) at the age of twelve. I have had a callus on my right middle finger for decades. I knew I was different in my own unique way, hence why I walk proudly for not only myself but to show others to be proud of who they are. To be different and shine it well. I am a good person now heading home to carry on my legacy. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*For my first and last night I stayed at my brother Joey and Cheryl's house. A brother I'm just getting to know. I regret not knowing him however there is no time like the present. Joey seems like a kind and gentle soul. He's easy to love, he must be my brother!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">"Listen to your heart...follow it"</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*Just before picking up my boys I had still a few hours to spare. I hummed and hawed over messaging a friend. I find myself procrastinating a lot! So I stopped. I picked up that phone! We had a very nice visit reconnecting again like time never passed. I am so glad that I contacted her. If you ever find yourself procrastinating, try to stop. You'll miss out on beautiful friendships and opportunities. Take them while you can. Live in the moment when you have it. It can result in something so meaningful, so honoring and this moment was. I will always love my friend Carla. A strong and inspirational woman. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWYHBdCPFGkzB69DAA-hW7u7T3L5Lqw281lJCaP3MUkciV3Snk-T0GZqMYsLROwTUWV2KF3rBVbkSuL8GBl9TmZmHQerO1CWYU-Agw1zA1Zp_Hoyj4pnD1qR7bWb_tIWFXFWIlIz1MAyFb/s1600/carla.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="731" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWYHBdCPFGkzB69DAA-hW7u7T3L5Lqw281lJCaP3MUkciV3Snk-T0GZqMYsLROwTUWV2KF3rBVbkSuL8GBl9TmZmHQerO1CWYU-Agw1zA1Zp_Hoyj4pnD1qR7bWb_tIWFXFWIlIz1MAyFb/s320/carla.jpg" width="243" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">My friend and I. It doesn't matter, time continues and so does our friendship. </span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*To conclude, (if you made it this far) life is about "this moment" It's about taking today and looking forward to our future. It's about all the experiences we allow ourselves to have and too really love and rejoice with not only ourselves, each other. We are all uniquely different and some of us love to be alone, and some of us not so much. Whatever, whenever our heart pulls, we should follow and embrace that. Don't be afraid to challenge yourself, we don't know who we really are until we do. At this moment I know that being in solitude in the bush fighting off mice is not for me. However I do like talking to squirrels and Eagles. I love writing and sharing my thoughts and pictures. Someday I will have that book I publish. For now, I continue to take the steps forward following my heart in what and where it leads. If my direction shifts, I will follow. I can always turn the page and start a new chapter. Love to you all, and I hope you enjoyed my unedited week journey adding a few enlightenment's along the way. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">* "Appreciate life as it happens. Moments will soon pass and you will wish you had treasured them more" AND that being said, reflecting back, I cherished every moment - even if I was paranoid on and off developing some anxiety along the way. I met a new friend, Caroline. I visited long term ones. My heart will always remain open. Most importantly, I will also start loving myself more.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;">*Ending off my week, my nephew Brandon married his teenage sweetheart. It was a beautiful wedding and a very emotional experience as everything came pouring out of me. (The wine was a part contributor) lol Just seeing every one, visiting and having some fun celebrating was the best conclusion to this week. A great ending for me, and a new beginning for Mr. & Mrs. Aucoin. Congratulations! </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzyEu7gOh4fI3dhDBRunFwm4f2H-gL0IOJ4c4Kamn_49fIkxBtSdrx54C5Ud05upR_KGPO7RPoZL4NQbBwsoyaRSCl0WBDCwC_HF40Rq7-50kGJseliYBL_CuqP0tyg5ODqpldOYOcoX4i/s1600/brandon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="803" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzyEu7gOh4fI3dhDBRunFwm4f2H-gL0IOJ4c4Kamn_49fIkxBtSdrx54C5Ud05upR_KGPO7RPoZL4NQbBwsoyaRSCl0WBDCwC_HF40Rq7-50kGJseliYBL_CuqP0tyg5ODqpldOYOcoX4i/s320/brandon.jpg" width="267" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">*If it wasn't for my husband and my supportive family....this post "this experience" maybe wouldn't have happened. I am grateful. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></span>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-7366497280084119852017-06-08T09:50:00.001-07:002017-06-08T09:55:43.068-07:00ROCK MY ISLAND<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvjgcB58M69lMq3tIgY2-91vrAHRo8616QPFqu7wEsZuiwW3yVxTXV75clnOumlKp9-Rci2fLg86UJt-42wVLy76C61EbUemARRgC-r2jfdi3bFo2SKWg5Qgo9dg7ETdbmaZUmvE1k5GBo/s1600/rockmyisland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="545" data-original-width="750" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvjgcB58M69lMq3tIgY2-91vrAHRo8616QPFqu7wEsZuiwW3yVxTXV75clnOumlKp9-Rci2fLg86UJt-42wVLy76C61EbUemARRgC-r2jfdi3bFo2SKWg5Qgo9dg7ETdbmaZUmvE1k5GBo/s320/rockmyisland.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;"><span style="background-color: black;">Here's a sneak peek of my new business adventure! #rockmyisland is unique rock and wood creations. What is very special about this piece IS Gerald used a chainsaw and made Vancouver Island out of a cedar stump. This piece seen above is my business sign, the only one of its kind. I'm so excited! Stay tuned for free standing rock art and jewelry. I also have a facebook page called, "Rock My Island" where I will be displaying new pieces! I've signed up for future craft fairs and I'm hoping within two plus years I could open a little artisan shop with another artisan crafter employing some of our special needs children. I truly believe with action, productivity, dedication anything is possible. I sometimes believe I am living proof of my words. Believe in yourself! #rockmyisland </span></span>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-90452443668150643982017-05-10T11:28:00.000-07:002017-05-10T11:28:03.395-07:00"Dancing in our own tornado" <div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYcJC1nQDiCTqBnaS0MpV32ZO-IMzEFCAjbYjoLrOnmMCt9kVVgJXJ9CB9fMTSyz5tl7G8rkQd_es0BwP9Y9F2gJzgMAlZvCYa0LKTCNBaB0_wpADxKG9pFGz2-NizA8fjNfnQqjg3gzXg/s1600/dancinginourowntornado.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYcJC1nQDiCTqBnaS0MpV32ZO-IMzEFCAjbYjoLrOnmMCt9kVVgJXJ9CB9fMTSyz5tl7G8rkQd_es0BwP9Y9F2gJzgMAlZvCYa0LKTCNBaB0_wpADxKG9pFGz2-NizA8fjNfnQqjg3gzXg/s320/dancinginourowntornado.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-CA" style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;">Sentence
after sentence I have deleted. I have the thoughts but trying to write it
perfectly so readers understand without assuming or judging can be hard to do.
I’ve always known that the path we’ve chosen is a challenging one. We seem to
have moved forward in a positive direction however it’s not easy. Last night I
painted a very messy creation of a naked pole dancer holding on tight while
spiraling inside a tornado. I feel that way sometimes. I keep dancing, I keep
painting, I keep writing, I continue to hang on hoping that the choices I make
in this life will not only serve me well, my family. I’ve always been a bit of
a rebel. A think a good rebel. A mother, a wife and a daughter that teaches to
accept differences and through me, I hope that people can see that it doesn’t
matter what you look like, it doesn’t matter about the differences, and or
choices that one makes, what matters is that we are all accepting of one
another while being loving and kind. All of us trying to conform in unity as
the same isn’t a happiness that is true. So as I raise my children I try to
raise them happy. To be themselves. Unfortunately this isn’t the case for some.
We are dealing with different conditions and mental illnesses that are far
beyond our control. We are dealing with health challenges that are beyond our
medical system. This leaves me dancing in our own tornado. I continue to be
this proactive, dedicated, semi-crazy, different, fun, wife and mother but
sometimes inside that tornado I get hit by rocks that brings me down. Then I
question myself. I question absolutely everything. I know everybody feels this
way from time to time. It’s just life. We all go through storms. Most of us
manage to hang on. We know and understand that this too shall pass. I’m going
to be honest here. For the last two years since my husband has been sick it’s
been very difficult. Even though we have been moving forward the best we know
how, it’s been a health shit storm. Definitely a wild tornado that continues to
surface. It’s hard to remain happy and positive when you continue to get hit
with rocks. That is why I started pole fitness. That is why I started painting.
We all need an external focus other then what’s inside the tornado. That is the
key. Whatever challenges you are having in your life, if its health, finances,
children, friends, family – well you name it….and you feel that it’s out of
control and basically you can’t change what is. The key is hanging on for
YOURSELF. You are no good to no one if you’re not hanging on. Mental health
plays a role in all of us, we need to recognize it then decide on how we are
going to deal with it. For me, it’s as simple as remaining proactive in all
that I do. Every day. At least an hour a day for myself. Small hikes. Getting
outdoors, breathing in the fresh air, even screaming out into our universe is a
healthy release method that helps. Life is not easy for any of us. That’s why I’m
sharing because I know that (I) we are not alone. I feel that I’m here to
support not only my family, not only myself but I’m here to support you in any
way that I can. And that’s through sharing my life. Sharing also is a form or
therapy. Don’t be afraid to reach out. Anyone who personally knows me, knows
that I am here to listen and if you don’t want to share but need reinsurance
that it’s going to be okay, I am here to personally share our rocks and provide how we cope. It is hard
to be a parent, it is hard to pick up the broken pieces from wherever they
fell. People always say, “Wow I’m envious on how large and well your family is”
Don’t be fooled, it’s a challenging path. It’s not for everyone. It’s a 24/7
dedicated path of destruction sometimes. My only advice when other parents come
to me when they’re at a loss is, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. We aren’t God.
The day we met our children never meant they were ours to control. We are only
providing the best atmosphere and possible good philosophies for their
continued and hopefully healthy happy futures. We have no control on what
happens with illness, we can only change our lifestyle in hopes it helps, be
proactive and search for the answers.” “In the end if we are doing the best we
can while still hanging on, maybe still in the midst of that tornado, we have
to be easy on ourselves” At least an hour a day be good to you, rejuvenate your
soul. Continue to tell yourself you’re a beautiful individual. Sometimes it’s
easy being kind and loving to others, it’s not as easy to be kind and loving to
yourself. Forgive. We aren’t perfect. In conclusion….I wrote this post for me.
I’m sure you’re not surprised. As I wrote, I did not judge or criticize myself, I was honest. I
acknowledged my tornado. As I’m hanging on while getting hit by rocks I remain
calm, patient and I’m continuing to believe that we will survive. I forgive
myself for everything I’ve made mistakes on. I am a continued learner and
survivor of this tornado called, “Life” For the rest of you, if any of this
made sense and relates within your lives, “Hang on, believe in yourself and
others, share, support and most importantly, look after you” I am. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;">I love you
from one human to another. </span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-85951110116415582342017-05-09T11:24:00.001-07:002017-05-09T13:57:13.381-07:00Update - May 9th<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvSZ7Eb4jOPBwDU-AZPjdKBRuDO9TuWymnoJEnr_I5_kxxJyKgNrGK8Crbr3lu5HQTo0NCaRuAwWWpBdLvnj2aiL6PHVbclouKN2wyu0R6zD48x0isQUlALUl3tKfIKi2ywhcTLhyphenhyphen7Ebgh/s1600/may.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvSZ7Eb4jOPBwDU-AZPjdKBRuDO9TuWymnoJEnr_I5_kxxJyKgNrGK8Crbr3lu5HQTo0NCaRuAwWWpBdLvnj2aiL6PHVbclouKN2wyu0R6zD48x0isQUlALUl3tKfIKi2ywhcTLhyphenhyphen7Ebgh/s1600/may.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">It's been so long since I wrote. Between homeschooling, the public schools, all my duties plus adding painting, pole dancing now gardening, planning for summer while juggling endless medical appointments, my writing has been on the back burner. What's new with us!? I'm not exactly sure where to begin. So I might be all over the place. The garden we are building is going to be eight large raised beds enclosed with a locking entrance to protect it from rabbits, deer, dogs and children. Most of our children are going to have their own garden space however it needs to be supervised due to the fact one sibling might become jealous of anothers growth SO you just never know what could happen. Supervision is a must with all things. Regardless it's going to be epic! </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">I wrote a post years and years ago located on here about other parents housing teenagers. Usually these individuals are well known to the community however there is nothing any one can do unless there is criminal activity. It's quite an issue as these parents are literally harming other peoples children while supplying and partying with these under age children. You would think this would be criminal. It's not unless someone is hurt, causing a disturbance and or caught with the legal substances. We as parents are legally responsible however there is nothing we can do. Go figure. Anyhow the reason I bring this up is because I know of a home in our community that is just this and if you're someone living in our district and missing a teenager for example, I might have the location. The more police documentation the better. I truly believe us parents that are concerned what our youth is up too, should stick together. So if you ever have any questions, please feel free to contact me. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">It's been almost two years since my husband Gerald was deathly ill with MRSA. To date it has left him with spinal and nerve damage causing severe chronic pain and every day there's something different to awaken too. Which includes facial migraines, chronic muscle spasms all over internally and externally. Hypertension, extreme bouts of exhaustion, dizzy spells that drop him to the floor, food that doesn't stay down and the list goes on. He is at high risk for relapse, having a stroke and a heart attack. To date his blood levels were extremely high for a heart attack. It's an ugly diagnoses with no cure except hope. With that we take our life one day at a time as every day can look different. However it is frustrating to say the least. For me I can't help but wonder if today is the day where we loose such a beloved dedicated man. It's just what I witness while adding a little PTSD I suppose. For our children, they witness that he's not well but they seem to be resilient while moving forward on their own paths. Life is so unpredictable and we really need to cherish every minute...and cherish every one. We can't loose sight of this. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Now that it's May (I can't believe it) We as a homeschooling group are prepping for the 5km foam run on June 10th! It's going to be interesting. lol We start at 11am that day and it's located here in Nanoose Bay. It's a huge fun event for all. You don't have to be in the messy obstacle race, you can come and cheer us on! There will be food vendors, music and I even heard a beer garden. So literally for every one! We will be designing our own shirts and it will definitely be a fun great post to write about next month while adding our pictures! It's a great way to end our homeschooling year! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">To conclude for now.....I wish every one health and happiness. It's the most important two facts we need in our lives. Except for eating. Eating is good. Especially seafood. I would love Lobster right now! lol</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Remember...."Start each day with a grateful heart" and "Every day is a second chance" - so lets make the best of it. "Love to all" </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">And "May the 4th continue to be with you!"</span></span></div>
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"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-67181505370903559432017-02-05T18:33:00.000-08:002017-02-16T11:12:47.948-08:00My paintings so far......pole dancer themed.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #d5a6bd;">Midnight magic</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">Driftwood Dancer</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">Shadow Dancer</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">Mystical flare </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhknygXrjA0eG3SLIBbLijLo_vp5Gbsb-NkqR-b2205GnJ8UFICE_Jp3-JdIzMenrsQ0I-649G40PWMw2TB_kVb3ADEed16nd5PzJ198eU25GVaUnp5ltoNpwZRzUqjX1r22nXhdp2E_051/s1600/carries3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhknygXrjA0eG3SLIBbLijLo_vp5Gbsb-NkqR-b2205GnJ8UFICE_Jp3-JdIzMenrsQ0I-649G40PWMw2TB_kVb3ADEed16nd5PzJ198eU25GVaUnp5ltoNpwZRzUqjX1r22nXhdp2E_051/s320/carries3.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">Custom requested, "Pole addict"</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_ik73jGseQ2qsmDN_ZxVhOeTfB82Mk1C37Jd7J9a6FPVoMhb3WmoEgy68JkSWZXG3fKAqz_mEI7hYesff69LOgAk5NTkICj7JR8jJTIJETB7TyybHBSiQMG3woIQkByZ32oDZoWrK52Hw/s1600/carries5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_ik73jGseQ2qsmDN_ZxVhOeTfB82Mk1C37Jd7J9a6FPVoMhb3WmoEgy68JkSWZXG3fKAqz_mEI7hYesff69LOgAk5NTkICj7JR8jJTIJETB7TyybHBSiQMG3woIQkByZ32oDZoWrK52Hw/s320/carries5.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">Snow queen </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">Kindness</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">Spring fling</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI-wavIA8Q_JLquXzRu-Guj6AsH978WaCk0O-7aSFroKZqkMtT6mfFtKRatIBmXJZBmyLMKhSFaCNuhHDaEQgtu5kg9nbJR3LwyDl_je2pEwW0TdTkuONPYO10rbPSDUy3Ppqb3eeCBsXV/s1600/carrieart1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI-wavIA8Q_JLquXzRu-Guj6AsH978WaCk0O-7aSFroKZqkMtT6mfFtKRatIBmXJZBmyLMKhSFaCNuhHDaEQgtu5kg9nbJR3LwyDl_je2pEwW0TdTkuONPYO10rbPSDUy3Ppqb3eeCBsXV/s320/carrieart1.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">Pole Mermaid</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52XKN6Rt_Vyj1jK4HdIki6h4La-pAn2vwZ2-AB2N5W6uJcqgH_xG8Bp8HrsxCxxtVP2qAEVBOWOzWio4b15JZULJ_3Uc2uPuDoApTRrZ82h1TGuLoGb5QE7sa6F5Uhn2O-ouWExjVFJxL/s1600/carrieart3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52XKN6Rt_Vyj1jK4HdIki6h4La-pAn2vwZ2-AB2N5W6uJcqgH_xG8Bp8HrsxCxxtVP2qAEVBOWOzWio4b15JZULJ_3Uc2uPuDoApTRrZ82h1TGuLoGb5QE7sa6F5Uhn2O-ouWExjVFJxL/s320/carrieart3.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">This painting was made for a special little boy.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibj9dMrhttk0YwCM6DZhC3IgRypeXZerEH_FgfgVSG_0j2qc2cWOGPTSxYVdCRZU7JG1EPukoiL7jeLK0Jn80oOYNHgpg-wBkSDK8aFQQtU48bQAwtS_JFFSkJhEQtNVbXU1Pb0Ka45q3t/s1600/kidpainting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibj9dMrhttk0YwCM6DZhC3IgRypeXZerEH_FgfgVSG_0j2qc2cWOGPTSxYVdCRZU7JG1EPukoiL7jeLK0Jn80oOYNHgpg-wBkSDK8aFQQtU48bQAwtS_JFFSkJhEQtNVbXU1Pb0Ka45q3t/s320/kidpainting.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">So far all these paintings have owners. For right now I'm practising pole dancers. Can you tell!? </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">I quote by Danny Kaye - Life is a great big CANVAS, throw all the PAINT you can on it!" I love this quote!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #c27ba0;">Live your life! Try anything! You don't have to master everything but at least you can say you've done it - me. </span></div>
<br />"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-58270438495884180692017-02-04T20:01:00.000-08:002017-02-04T20:01:56.246-08:00Reaffirmation ramble
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599;">I can't believe it's
February 2017! It's been over a month since I wrote. Lately I've been
sharing through other means of social media. I have been enjoying
taking pictures, continuing with pole fitness and I started painting.
I'm definitely that type of person that can't sit around and waste
any time. I love productiveness and being proactive. Since I wrote
last one of our sons fractured his ankle during his basketball game,
he needed surgery to secure his ankle joint. That consisted of two
screws. Currently he's not allowed to bear any weight and during his
recovery I have added him to our home school group for the remainder
of this school year. I watched our son being pushed during his lay up and
down he went. His basketball season came to a screaming end. I took a
deep breath and said to myself, “Here we go again” That evening
we sat in emergency. I have never really felt that helpless feeling
until I became a mother twenty seven years ago. Since then it's been
many medical scenarios and there's nothing more heart wrenching then
to witness your child in pain and you can't do anything but hold
their hand. From accidental bone fractures to spontaneous
pneumothoraxes resulting in lung surgeries to more severe conditions
such as having one kidney that becomes infected to a broken femur, to
dual hip surgeries due to cerebral palsy.....while adding a seriously
sick husband has given me some anxiety. Not to mention the mental
illnesses that has surfaced over the years. One may believe we
shouldn't have taken on such a large family. However when I look
around, all I see is love, connection and family. It's not an easy
road but it's a road we have chosen to travel. With our dedication,
and our perseverance I know we will move forward day by day together.
Now because I'm this proactive individual I started realizing I
needed to do something for myself to help curb the anxiety I
developed since my husband became sick. I don't believe in dwelling
nor living in the past. I practice what I teach our children and
that's to move forward in a positive manner. Hence why I started pole
fitness. It's not only a physical conditioning, for me it's
therapeutic. I not only need to be strong physically, I need to be
strong mentally to continue to be the strength for my family. Then
because I'm a house bound momma I started painting. I had patience
before but painting is definitely challenging the patience I have and
it's great. So during these winter months where we are literally
snowed in, and while some of us continue to recover from injury and or
illness, I (we) paint. We climb poles together. We as a family, even
as helpless as we can feel sometimes continue to gain strength
together. Our daily routines remain and in many ways I feel we are a
powerful family unit. We definitely have our weak moments however I
can't express enough on how proud I am of our children. Their
exceptional acceptances for each others differences and challenges
are truly honoring to witness. They support each other. Our son with his ankle fracture amazes
me. Just resilient each and every one of us and that is worth
swinging too. It's true...with trials come triumphs. With moments of
darkness comes light. Some people might not agree on what I believe
but it's working for us. I said once to another mother, “If you can
accept who your child is (even behaviorally) and accept others for
who they are, maybe even yourself, then will come peace” Do you
struggle with anxiety? Maybe over certain situations that may arise?
I honestly know that being aware of your breathing while reminding
yourself that moments do pass, you will be able to help yourself.
Most importantly find yourself. I'm extreme in most of what I do
however don't be afraid of just being you. Accepting, loving you.
This post started explaining some of our health challenges, and I
admitted that I'm not a rolling ball of strength however we continue
with the two feet we have and keep going. It's interesting. Years ago
I attended support groups for adoptive families. In fact I really
wanted to run them myself. I'm glad I don't. I love our life without
the labels. I love how we are and that's persevering as a
unconditional loving family. I don't need a group, nor a book to
explain to me what I already know. It's simply, deal with what is,
accept and move forward. And I only share with whom I trust. To
conclude, as hard as it is, remove all judgments. It won't matter ten
years from now. Most of our medical scenarios don't matter anymore
either. For our one son with the fractured ankle joint, basketball
was his everything however now a new door has been opened. More
support at home with his academics, with his healing and a possible
boxing avenue. You just never know where a challenging time may lead.
Be patient. I keep telling myself that when I'm going into my third
hour of painting - fixing mistakes after mistakes! Life – be
passionate and proactive with it always – it's too short and
unpredictable. Anyhow....this is today, just rambling on all over the place with some reaffirmation. </span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-17246534498170378392016-12-26T14:01:00.002-08:002016-12-26T17:58:06.066-08:002016 Reflection with ongoing hope......<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">I started skimming my 2016 blog posts. Very bleak with my attempts of blogging. Shameful and unlike me. Regardless of illness we had a nice Christmas. Family and friends are everything. We are truly blessed with all the love and support in our life. I decided my previous post wasn't the best reflection and on how I wanted to end 2016.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">January 2016 I posted this quote from John Burroughs and it still holds true today. There's nothing more rehabilitating then being in nature. It's great to hike with friends however there's something more powerful being alone and speaking to yourself and or God or our universe.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOk_R5jdtqbPiLqgrhh3u7UJWNayJ1Mh8m3LMZFHE55yI2MIRW1LVWroKoIZVGA8H3MSLBVqJ_a5B8b3Co6Ol1cP-wwR8F13QSUkiKai8xhyphenhyphenGdB7tRkfl0LUNPhzS6XHDcGZe7ZDVWxXp4/s1600/janblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOk_R5jdtqbPiLqgrhh3u7UJWNayJ1Mh8m3LMZFHE55yI2MIRW1LVWroKoIZVGA8H3MSLBVqJ_a5B8b3Co6Ol1cP-wwR8F13QSUkiKai8xhyphenhyphenGdB7tRkfl0LUNPhzS6XHDcGZe7ZDVWxXp4/s1600/janblog.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;"> <span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">This picture from February reconfirmed that storms pass. We have to hold on, keep our strengths within and always remember there's glimpses of calm so we can rejuvenate, recharge so we can battle that next wave because that's life. I never did believe life was meant to be easy with a flat surface. We wouldn't evolve and become who we are today if it were. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">In March we discovered and started Geocaching. A fun outdoorsy sport looking for treasures!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSNjoUvQYs6aGCiOJFg0U1ajl-fKlybygMbLr2RZgeNYfucmwM_AiG18ljvYrXhd8-5VhLUVHWd4LF2M5QWOT-GX43CChbsdCPPn-06Kzu2Q3k52CSIlK1iAXvAoNn7gmlWsFelqbu9n-e/s1600/marchblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSNjoUvQYs6aGCiOJFg0U1ajl-fKlybygMbLr2RZgeNYfucmwM_AiG18ljvYrXhd8-5VhLUVHWd4LF2M5QWOT-GX43CChbsdCPPn-06Kzu2Q3k52CSIlK1iAXvAoNn7gmlWsFelqbu9n-e/s1600/marchblog.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">April was my last month blogging. As a hypocrite that I can be (ha ha) I decided to end blogging and sharing my thoughts online to start a book. Well.....the book was started but I still missed sharing my thoughts. The chapter I thought I was ending, I could not. I'm not sure if it's my creature of habit combined with my love of sharing, I just couldn't stay away for long. The quote below still remains true, "Everything comes to you. In the right moment. Be Patient. Be Grateful" Patience is one of the foremost important traits one could practice. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">Then in August I came back!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">Within September our second oldest son came home to stay for a few months after having his femur broken at work. It was challenging physically and mentally for him. He's seen at the end of our kitchen table chalk boarding in this picture below. There was moments (again as a mother) I felt helpless that I couldn't take away his pain. This is the same son that had lung surgeries after having multiple pneumothoraxes when he was seventeen. At a young adult age he's been through lots physically and mentally. However during his stay, we had many moments of connection that I will cherish forever.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">In October I found this book! "You are a BADASS" A book that I love. You can start from the beginning or flip through, you can put down and pick up again. I still carry it around in my purse and I will read when I'm waiting. Jen Sincero writes, "Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviours that stop you from getting what you want" "Create a life you totally love" It's a great book. I love it because it's "real" Realism is how I want to continue to write without worrying about judgements. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9i4nOD38t5WpQVYw20Unt7tGDZzrcFz-gvoVW3GdFyfPMK2eek-wTVs-HlrMAPmcljluojHG8dSClj8nTxdVrhoaKtFlegO4JL4W7fICjOiXFP5s1GWhflANVvmCZKpW_KU4cF9yIOAW/s1600/octoberblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh9i4nOD38t5WpQVYw20Unt7tGDZzrcFz-gvoVW3GdFyfPMK2eek-wTVs-HlrMAPmcljluojHG8dSClj8nTxdVrhoaKtFlegO4JL4W7fICjOiXFP5s1GWhflANVvmCZKpW_KU4cF9yIOAW/s1600/octoberblog.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">Throughout 2016 Gerald and I tried to get out more with each other however his health started to deteriorate. Without writing a book, he feels just as bad and if not worse when this all began. He continues to have severe health concerns while we continue to wait for answers with specialists. I won't go any further about this because this is my reflection post with my pictures chosen throughout the year. No negative Nancy! Seen below is Gerald and I in November. I was all dressed up and because he wasn't well we decided to take and share pictures on our staircase. I feel pictures are so important. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">At the end of the day regardless of what challenge happened, we continue to accept and love each other. Seen below in my December 2016 picture, thirteen out of our sixteen children huddled together around our upside down tree. I've learned something throughout my twenty seven years of parenting. Complaining or continually trying to change your child isn't the answer. Acceptance and forgiveness is. Until you can forgive and accept who your loved ones are, you will forever feel challenged. No support group can change what you need to change as a person. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCbmRxEreci7ZUK5A_KBfkDeXEvgsegLmvVYgxJlnLf2yE15oBxKrm_BYvQZS8epkRGdU_ZzYqP8SgR4IvQGlAsJoRFFSEaMvH2LQ7FP98p8LKefuznbMWhAk1Rd_TZLGQ0H5rJdA3ojkr/s1600/Decblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCbmRxEreci7ZUK5A_KBfkDeXEvgsegLmvVYgxJlnLf2yE15oBxKrm_BYvQZS8epkRGdU_ZzYqP8SgR4IvQGlAsJoRFFSEaMvH2LQ7FP98p8LKefuznbMWhAk1Rd_TZLGQ0H5rJdA3ojkr/s320/Decblog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">Life is too short to procrastinate. Just live as best as you can. Seen below is my Campbell River Father and Mother whom I feel accept us for who we are. I know for myself I push the "being different" envelope. The interesting fact of that is....I feel that I'm here to do just that and to teach people to accept through me. Then to teach my family, friends and children to accept all, no matter what the circumstances are. I truly believe we are all here for a purpose. I've always known and felt mine, have you? And if you have, I hope you're also opening your envelope because our next generation needs to see it, and you need to feel purposeful. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;">One reason I believe we are as successful as we are raising a large family is because we aren't afraid to be ourselves. To push the envelope. Also as parents to continually learn, to accept and follow our children. Time has changed. I remember climbing trees. We had no computers. Now it's snap chat. Instagram. Facebook. Texting. If I have to snap chat and turn into a silly filter to interact with my children through these different channels I will. Keep the connections because once they're lost, it's hard to regain. I learned that one too. So my advise for 2017 is if you aren't doing so already, build on your relationships. Every one in our lives right now means something. Keep it alive. Even if you have to turn yourself into a cucumber doing so.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;">And just accept and remember it's not your life. You're only the director, and I've heard....we aren't the directors either. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;">Heading into 2017 is full of unknowns but we can only do our best. I'm not making any New Years Resolutions. I'm just going to keep open minded, to accept my children for who they are, and to continue to be that "coolest mom" ever. (As I've been told) Remember, it's all about connection. Connection begins with forgiveness (if you need to forgive) while adding acceptance and unconditional love. If "some one" because it doesn't have to be your child (ha ha) is testing your patience, practice in your mind and chant to yourself, "Its just this moment" "Its just this moment" Breathe.....relax, then respond with love. It's so true.....we don't know what tomorrow brings so try to always remember this when all else fails. My thoughts and words I try to live by AND I will continue to share with you. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;">May 2017 bring you peace, love, health and happiness. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ead1dc;">This was me when I was a baby. (I love green for a reason :) No one knew back then who or what I was going to be while I learned my first steps around the age of one. Who would of known I was going to grow up and raise sixteen children and have compassion for individuals health and share our life like I have. You just never know what the future holds.......keep the faith in each other. </span></div>
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</span>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-86100493046819684572016-12-18T22:10:00.000-08:002016-12-18T22:10:20.259-08:00"Snowed in"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #cfe2f3;">I'm not sure where it went but we persevered through another year. It feels like two years of our life vanished while pressing through day by day. It's like this snow we're getting. We can go places minimally and sometimes we are just snowed in. From one day to the next we don't know. It's become acceptable to a degree. We have been told that some of us are more likely suffering from PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) I won't get into details but it completely makes sense. I remember being told by a physician that it's very common and especially for the family members witnessing. Then if the medical aftermath continues (like ours has) every day becomes worrisome. We are always in flight against high winds for survival. I often fear that our children will only remember the illness and not what we once were or what we still continue to try to be. Christmas 2016 we have no outside lights up. We decorated less. Summer 2016 we couldn't camp. Of course we made the best of what our life is and we continue to do so but for us, it's only 50%. We aren't in celebration mode for 2017. Our fight forward continues. For the past year and a half we were advised not to speak or share anymore of what happened because we were seeking a legal law suit. To date, after investigations, interviews and reports our lawyer has told us we have no case unless we can find a specialist to state that if Gerald received the appropriate care within that emergency time frame (because it was proven there was a breech of care) would have it made a difference? So far no specialist can provide this. A year ago we were going to go to the news. They were very interested in our story however we halted due to the fact it could be detrimental to our case. Now closing 2016, moving into 2017 Gerald continues to have more medical complications then last Christmas and not one apology for sending us away not once but four times from emergency departments being septic. Three weeks in ICU. Three months hospitalisation. Operations. Septic again once discharged. IV meds up until Christmas of 2015. Now damaged with serious ongoing medical issues where we are told, "We don't know" "We have never heard of this before" "You will have to be referred on" Then while we wait, referral after referral with no medical support we wonder if he will awake with his two feet on the ground every day and we should remain quiet. Press on. Be hopeful, and be positive. We are. That's the thing.....we are and we are very patient without expressing what it's really like day to day. Anyhow it's just a cheated feeling and with all the unknowns we feel it's terminal with no positive answers. Only if he had the proper rehabilitation and a pain medication that would enhance his quality of life at least. Christmas is six days away. We are completely prepared however it doesn't feel the same. Gerald has been so sick for three weeks and counting, while adding his frustration, it's hard to be joyful. Christmas holidays..?..we would have loved to go up to Mt. Washington but like camping, it's to hard physically. That leaves us breaking up as a family and frankly, I'm tired of leaving the sick behind. The weirdest part for me is seeing men my husband's age and older healthy. I often get glanced at because I think I'm caught watching these guys walk, and physically able to do anything....like run. It puts me back into perspective on how much damage has been done. Then it just resurfaces on how pissed off I really am on how we were treated with no justice. I know....I have to find peace with this however hard when I'm reminded daily with a compromised husband. A father that can't ride a bike with his kids. Daily frustrations due to chronic pain and physical complications. A different family then we once were. So this is why I haven't been able to write as I once did. Well......yet another block - writing. I honestly feel like a three year old wanting to have a tantrum sometimes. During our last appointment I was so excited because we were seeing a internist/cardiologist and I thought for sure (after months of waiting) that he would have the answers. He referred us on. Without swearing up a storm, we left just as fucked up as we were back in 2015 when he was septic. Now we wait. Again. Whew! I'm glad I wrote all of that off of my chest and hopefully it was understood properly due to the fact there's not much sleep happening around here. So normally during this time "on my blog" I post a reflection of the previous year. I think this post gives an appropriate reflection adding that we made it another year with several fun and positive opportunities given our health challenges. Now in a matter of days or it's even over by now, "It's Christmas" I truly hope every one enjoys or enjoyed their family and friends during this magical time of year. Even through loss and challenges, embrace who's around you. Concluding, we don't know what tomorrow brings. None of us do. It's so important to be real with each other, even if it's me writing like this. Foremost as I have always written, love, accept and try not to judge. And if you can, give. </span>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-55437152600617385532016-12-12T14:45:00.000-08:002016-12-12T14:45:42.630-08:00The end of a great party!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #6aa84f;"><span style="background-color: black;">Thank you so much to every one that came out and enjoyed our annual Christmas party! Thank you to every one who helped and supported this year and in previous years! There is always a great turn out every year for the past six-seven years! (If my memory serves me correctly) Reflecting back, I remember how it began in our home then it grew so large we had to start renting the hall. I smile remembering the beginning. The friends. The families. Our community! The magic that happened and continued to happen for all our Island children was truly a blessing. Our Santa's and elves over the years were amazing! We have so many pictures with so many memories and I know our children will grow up reflecting back as I do. We have been giving our event some thought for awhile now and unfortunately I am making an announcement to state that this was our last year. I am apologizing as we close this chapter. If any one wants to take over this event, please feel free however for us as most know, our medical scenarios continue and we need to focus on our health with less outside responsibilities. To our close family and friends, we continue to look forward in seeing you for dinners in our home throughout the year. We sincerely wish every one a Merry Christmas and a healthy happy New Year. Stay safe, keep the magic in your hearts and the memories forever in your minds. All our love, "The Hohnstein's" </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;"><span style="background-color: black;">Here is a few pictures from this year - Dec 10th, 2016</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;"><span style="background-color: black;">One of my fav photos this year! Food and children!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="background-color: #6aa84f;">Some of us!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="background-color: #6aa84f;">Another fav photo seen below......"Our futures sitting right there!"</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="background-color: #6aa84f;">Our talent show was a bomb not a hit! However if you don't try, you will never know!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="background-color: #6aa84f;">Santa this year was our children's grandfather! What a memory that will be!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="background-color: #6aa84f;">It's just about a little magic, a little twinkle and lots of fun all built into our memories!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiODakiU4vgwokiHrghYe4L2UD_pdiQ4eke1YJTgZ1cLa4NaQgVvIfzGQn3HFndgkDFNHEwMDFPO1eL9oGSGR81mNdEZHqSx-KZ-N7xlOlLp6tHJUK_t5JQnEFAsR7hphJu4d2UDAOcBj1f/s1600/IMG_4131.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiODakiU4vgwokiHrghYe4L2UD_pdiQ4eke1YJTgZ1cLa4NaQgVvIfzGQn3HFndgkDFNHEwMDFPO1eL9oGSGR81mNdEZHqSx-KZ-N7xlOlLp6tHJUK_t5JQnEFAsR7hphJu4d2UDAOcBj1f/s320/IMG_4131.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="background-color: #6aa84f;">Lots of love.....from all of us!</span></span></div>
"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-80716195234667352332016-11-17T10:20:00.001-08:002016-11-17T10:20:19.729-08:00Celebrating family Dec 10th<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZHust9EGNji9DgG3eIwhcUElfrg_yAO2k6qvOqwEkp1DZA26BsqIcHe7wUyDBz-SKlsWU_8s512PuTd04o2NH8U4E6kS0_avvL9vzNo5YdZpDPON1nTV9jH4tSKn5AM7bk7uRrLQJdhwZ/s1600/christmasparty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZHust9EGNji9DgG3eIwhcUElfrg_yAO2k6qvOqwEkp1DZA26BsqIcHe7wUyDBz-SKlsWU_8s512PuTd04o2NH8U4E6kS0_avvL9vzNo5YdZpDPON1nTV9jH4tSKn5AM7bk7uRrLQJdhwZ/s1600/christmasparty.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #b6d7a8; font-size: medium;">I can't believe it's that
time of year again. I feel as we get older time passes quickly. That being said, we always coast through the season. December 10<sup>th</sup> is
our annual Christmas party. This is an important year. Without
writing too much detail, I am hoping that every one can attend and
families that haven't, come out and join the party. We are having a
craft table set up making Christmas cards and tree ornaments. We will
have a scheduled talent show (our group will be providing “hopefully”
laughter with our skit) We will be having a makeup and nail table
that two beautiful girls will be running. A photography table so you
can have your moments with family and friends captured for a keepsake
and share with others. Of course Santa will be arriving, so it's
important that you bring a labelled present with your child's first
and last names written clearly for Santa's bag! It is a potluck!
Bring your favourite dish to share for at least one hundred people!
(Just kidding) We will have prizes! Our prizes this year have been
donated from our local businesses throughout our community and I have
to say, some have been generous! One prize alone includes a family
photo shoot worth $175.00! We are also having an adult gift exchange.
The idea is any one who would like to participate brings a gift. From
there, gifts are stolen throughout the night. The gift you're left
with at the end of the night is yours. Older teens can join with our
adult gift exchange if they don't want to sit on Santa's knee!
Originally we started running this Christmas party for adoptive
families. So we can connect, relate and befriend. Lately as years
have passed, I have recommended that extended family members attend,
friends of adoptive families, interested potential adoptive parents
and now we have extended our party invites to all families. I
understand on how important it is for adoptive families to connect,
to seek support and for our children to seek support with each other.
We can relate in ways that some families can't. Many of our children
have special needs and including attachment disorders and mental
illnesses. However as our adoption journey has come to an end
(re-adopting) and we have grown with each other, we feel that we need
to just strengthen as a family without labels. With that being said,
“we are what we are” we just want to extend ourselves to others
that need support too. Raising any child while needing support within
our society is a huge undertaking. I believe we should celebrate our
unique individuality. Embrace our strengths. Persevere and learn
through our weaknesses. Teach unconditional love and acceptance. Meet
and support each other through celebrating togetherness. It doesn't
matter where we came from. We need each other. We need support to
feel we're not alone through whatever challenge it may be. So let's
unite! December 10<sup>th</sup> starting at 4 pm at the Nanoose Place
Hall! If you have any other questions and or concerns, please don't
hesitate to contact me at <a href="mailto:hohnstein@shaw.ca">hohnstein@shaw.ca</a>
We are looking forward to seeing or meeting you! A magical evening
for all! </span>
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"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-65294987368856592052016-11-08T16:51:00.002-08:002016-11-08T16:57:34.070-08:00"How we do it"<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="background-color: black; color: #f4cccc; font-size: large;">Many people continue to
question, “How do we do it?” “Where do you find the strength!?”
I have often thought about this topic. Do I think I'm stronger then
any one else? Absolutely not....I have internalized. Feared the
worst. I worry. Over a year now I have developed anxiety that comes
and goes. Sometimes I have bouts of feeling sorry for myself. Sorry
for my husband. Sorry for my children and our family that witness our
health challenges. I awake everyday checking my husband's condition.
Then once we both have our two feet on the ground, we start walking.
One foot in front of the other. We continue on with our daily
routines. It gives us strength knowing we are
productive every day. I truly believe life isn't too waste. We are
human beings with feelings but we don't wallow in self pity nor let
challenges consume us. We are thankful we awake breathing every day.
We strive for the excellence that we can provide and to show our
children that giving up isn't in our vocabulary. That the past is the
past and our futures still await when we awake. That's a blessing. I
have Instagram and Facebook and I proudly share our family. Some may
wonder why? I have even heard, “You're not a teenager anymore”
Exactly, <u>I am not</u> hence why I don't have time to waste. I
share our challenges and triumphs in hopes to support others. I share
some of my personal progress pictures because it's never too late to
change and try something new. This life is meant for living. After
nearly loosing my husband and as we move forward with all the
unknowns with his current health, there is no way, NO WAY we would
waste a moment believing we can't or shouldn't do something. When we
pass on, I want our children to say, “Our parents were people who
taught us to live and to live happily unconditionally” Here is
something I fear.....for my child/children to grow up hiding
themselves because they were afraid to just live and be themselves.
Having suicidal thoughts. Developing so much anxiety because they
worry about what others think. Success to me is happiness that comes
from within and you're able to show that happiness with what you do
without allowing judgements to control you. That's my belief. That's
what I teach. And I'm not strong all the time, I have every emotion
as any other feels however I continue to move forward productively
while accomplishing things that make me happy and that starts with
awakening and being alive the next day with two feet on the ground.
That's how we do it. We are grateful. Having a large family can
definitely be hard. It definitely becomes that much harder
with a serious sick parent. I have noticed over the past year that
our family as we once knew it hasn't been the same. Now the question
becomes, “Can we accept it?” Well.....we have too. It goes back
to the forever reminders that we're breathing. That's my answer. You
have to learn to accept what is in order to move forward or make steps to change
it. A little story. Every couple of months my friend dyes the grays
out of my hair and she straightens it. I felt like a hundred bucks! I
felt light and that the weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I came
home, I dressed up in hopes to go out with my husband. I already knew
he was having a horrible week health wise. So what was I thinking!?
Right then I felt sorry for him and sorry for me. I hated the fact
that we couldn't just slip out for even an hour that night. However I
wasn't resentful, I understood, and this has been our life now for
over a year! Every week, even every day can look different. So as I
stood in a black dress, nylons and with my hair feeling as light as a
feather, I asked softly, “Can you change your shirt so we can take
some pictures?” He shaved and changed his shirt. From there one of
our children took our pictures in our hallway, then we proceeded to
take a few “selfies” together. We simply smiled, then edited and
shared our evening together. I shared this story because this was one
of those moments we felt angry with our situation. Just cheated. Then
as we smiled and shared our evening taking selfies in our hallway,
that moment shifted and it was embraceable. We felt that could
have been the last pictures of us together. Who knows what the next
day would have brought us.....but we awoke breathing and thankful to
start all over again. This is the mind change, the acceptance and the
strength I'm writing about. This is how we do it even when we don't think
we can do it anymore. We are learning to accept what is, we changed our approach
and our thoughts. We don't care what others are thinking, we just
live within these moments. This is my post, semi-tired, distracted by our children (one is banging on the drums right now, two are fighting with a balloon and I have three dogs literally barking at nothing) My grammar and sentence structure is messed up however I was determined to share how we do it. Just like this - posted! ((Hug and continue smiling)) </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile"</span></span> </span><span style="color: #f4cccc;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: large;"></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheQ4tHyC5z3QmiFpFTtRhyphenhyphenAKSLXnzl4uUFBPzak9xwsDXHcXS0KBoysM1oHOGl8yQnP3NzebPGNz3KN2pjI50trbdQPAzBX9a8it6uAFh6F9HQAWMRhCi_G0NIMVIPrWINvcGZHw35gqcR/s1600/dadmom3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheQ4tHyC5z3QmiFpFTtRhyphenhyphenAKSLXnzl4uUFBPzak9xwsDXHcXS0KBoysM1oHOGl8yQnP3NzebPGNz3KN2pjI50trbdQPAzBX9a8it6uAFh6F9HQAWMRhCi_G0NIMVIPrWINvcGZHw35gqcR/s320/dadmom3.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="color: #f4cccc;"><span style="background-color: black;">"Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come"</span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwAQ7kKIf48EcWUlgzSI2Rzb4yQc-zp0eKK1sbPvdc0GMo8ngG3VMJNUkU-bfVo7LZvF1D3izURm50OUjFWLCaBdJPoqsNatVtB9-DqinORgJYfZIzdXyJNRJPqt1oqdVdTMgZ00WwoPKX/s1600/dadmom2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwAQ7kKIf48EcWUlgzSI2Rzb4yQc-zp0eKK1sbPvdc0GMo8ngG3VMJNUkU-bfVo7LZvF1D3izURm50OUjFWLCaBdJPoqsNatVtB9-DqinORgJYfZIzdXyJNRJPqt1oqdVdTMgZ00WwoPKX/s320/dadmom2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: large;">"It is not too uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to START LIVING" - Eckhart Tolle.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc;"><span style="background-color: black; font-size: large;">"Make your breath count - me."</span></span></div>
"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-83031934504424519092016-10-19T14:40:00.000-07:002016-10-19T20:05:51.470-07:00Live Big (New Title)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8FKRkjUZ3n-7_VDsbEsFUSlKo6REDXqa-4Fmm6GOXhhFIOoOPBREeIio5AFNoCzmv6yWKZJ1SYzDkAwlnjcVDGqN8cazJSpQ26rUbq-XBDc4aDVZ86lP5kD7aUU5wHeQsjEDVK2s_G-Uv/s1600/IMG_1196.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8FKRkjUZ3n-7_VDsbEsFUSlKo6REDXqa-4Fmm6GOXhhFIOoOPBREeIio5AFNoCzmv6yWKZJ1SYzDkAwlnjcVDGqN8cazJSpQ26rUbq-XBDc4aDVZ86lP5kD7aUU5wHeQsjEDVK2s_G-Uv/s320/IMG_1196.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #ffe599; font-size: medium;">I've been so focused on my
family that I was starting to loose sight of myself. My husband. My
children. Homeschooling. My other home – “the kitchen” was
consuming me. Now of course these are my responsibilities, my
dedication and my journey but it's not my personal path in which I
believe every one should have for themselves in order to be a well
balanced happy individual. My time is limited having a sick husband
however I still manage to find the time to not only write, but to
read, to get outdoors (where I feel the best therapy is) and I have
continued with pole fitness which brings me back on that wagon of
maintaining a healthier lifestyle. Now I know I have written about
this before although I wanted to remind you and any new followers
that you should purchase, “You are a badass” I highly recommend
this book for every one. The Author Jen Sincero is a success coach
that now travels the world helping others transform their lives. I
love how this book is not only an easy read, it's a book that you can
carry around and resource back too, to remind us what we sometimes
forget when we need it! A bit of insight inside “You are a badass” is in Part 1:
How you got this way. Part 2: How to embrace your inner badass. Part
3: How to tap into the mother-lode. Part 4: How to get over your B.S.
Already. Part 5: How to kick some ass. For me, I don't have the time
to procrastinate. I have decided that procrastination is being
removed from my vocabulary. In order to personally grow and make changes in our lives, it's only up to us as an individual being
proactive. So once again I decided to make some changes for myself.
One: no more referring us as an “adoptive family” We are just a
family living a big life. I have sons, daughters, dogs, a husband and
a granddaughter. Simple. Two: yes I have a sick compromised husband
however it's not going to consume nor halt our daily living. Our
future is two feet on the ground every morning, taking one day at a
time moving forward. Three: me, myself and I always has room for
growth. I choose to continue to grow, change and be challenged. Hence
why I started pole fitness. I may have many “pole kisses” that are
known as bruises however personal achievements comes with practice,
hardwork and dedication. Dedication is a trait I definitely have. So
I added some responsibility and dedication for my personal well being, which is not loosing me as an individual
in the midst of raising and looking after my big family. I have
recently changed my title of my blog to “Live Big” It's not about
having tons of children, three dogs too many, it's about living.
Living as big as you can stretch yourself. After all, life is too
short to waste. “Live Big” to me means too not only live, it's to
love big, <u>unconditionally love big</u>, make a difference somehow every
day. It means to stop procrastinating, stop judging and experience life
while you can. That's what I want to write about, that's what I
preach to my children, that's what I want my family to be about..... not
a label. We were brought together for a reason, and I sense that
reason is to challenge our odds, to accept individual identity and to
live as big as we physically and mentally can! So I haven't been on
my head since I was a child, now I am. Who would of known I could be
capable of doing a handstand on a pole? Who would of known our family
would have grown as large as it has, or how we CAN carry on against
all odds!? That's all about living big. It's a cognitive conditioning
that every one should start working towards because life wasn't given
to us to waste. To conclude, my thoughts today is to practice reconditioning our brains, and those thoughts that potentially hinder us, rewire and start living BIG! Beyond what we think our potential is while remaining positive ~ Me.</span></div>
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<br />"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-74357015291114920522016-10-05T20:17:00.003-07:002016-10-05T20:17:41.322-07:00If you fall, I'll be there - Floor<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="background-color: black;">In the midst of our forever changing, challenging and busy life I decided to do something for me. I have been contemplating this for weeks. Finally I decided to stop procrastinating and I just went for it! I will say I landed on the floor more then ten times! People might suggest that I'm going through a midlife crisis and actually they could be right! I'm definitely perimenopausal! Anyhow there is worst things I can be doing then landing on the floor! I have always been the type to spread my wings, do things that are different and challenging in one form or another. Probably why I have sixteen children and three dogs! For me, I always need to be busy. I feel my best when my day has been productive. I also believe if there's anything that scares us, or we're afraid because it's out of the "normal" or physically it just can't be manageable in our own minds, we need to open those four walls and somehow build an octagon. Challenging ourselves is up there with changing ourselves - it takes dedication, determination and believing. I've always been afraid of failure. However if you haven't failed, you haven't even tried. Lately I have been noticing that my nights are a continuation of my day if I'm not switching it up. I'm not normally a television watcher except for Survivor, and I don't normally go out anywhere unless it's to an occasional movie. I started feeling a little lost. So I joined and had my first night at Pole Sisters. Pole fitness and dancing. It's as hard as it looks and it challenges me in every area. Including being under dressed, having bare feet, swinging and climbing up and around a pole with other woman. Becoming dizzy. And yes, falling on the floor over and over again. It's amazingly fun! After my first night I could barely function physically for two days BUT I'm ready to return! I thought I would share because as crazy as you might think I am, if I can do this, you can do whatever is calling out to you! Just keep telling yourself that you're not going to procrastinate anymore, you are not going to doubt yourself, that you can do anything and you can make the time to do it. This is how we all become who we are and this is not only something for ourselves, it shows our children who we are too, <u>and that's not just a parent</u>, that we're individuals and individuals teaching our children to reach for those stars and that anything is possible. For me, I see stars when I hit the floor but that soon shall pass too! Whatever it is - go after it! If I can, you can!</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. Nelson Mandela</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /></span></span>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-2333067794744497302016-09-27T10:09:00.001-07:002016-09-27T10:09:47.345-07:00Dec 10th Christmas Party!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Once again we are hosting our annual Christmas party! All adoptive, families interested in adopting, and family and friends are invited! It's a potluck, and you need to bring a labeled present per child (first and last name) for Santa's bag! There will be prizes, crafts, dancing and a scheduled talent show! Practice your talents and we will practice ours! Please RSVP and msg for anymore details! We continue to run our party because of its success and we want to see more friends and family this year! It's an event not to miss! December 10th! Mark it on your calendars!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I'm also looking for some feedback. This Christmas party has been designed around our children. I was wondering if the parents attending would be interested in some gift changing themselves? A friend mentioned that we could play the gift stealing game. So I was thinking, (to make this easy) any one interested could just bring a gift under $10.00 and the stealing can then begin with the participants during the party! Let me know what you think!? Sounds like fun to me!</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">I would love to know roughly who's attending, so if you could, please comment your numbers. This includes not only yourself, your children, this includes any one that you want to bring, a grandma or a friend. AND lastly please share this event! More the merrier! Until then, I leave you with this......</span><span style="color: #e06666;"> </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><span style="color: #e06666;">"By choosing to be our most authentic and loving self, we leave a trail of magic everywhere we go" </span></span></span></span>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-29121812920292694152016-09-23T15:33:00.002-07:002016-09-23T15:33:40.269-07:00The Hohnsteins = The Munsters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVFh7f4mN_OtkY9vSwrCE5dEpE59ciIdDrbkEURxtBACV3r2ow5oHSYjEOwmuLC55pf7gk_pbhJglCa98fDDw62nYVo7i0HNo8azifx-L9-GtcKdhJ3-CdbArQtPKhaBNohPH8TtX7_AlZ/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVFh7f4mN_OtkY9vSwrCE5dEpE59ciIdDrbkEURxtBACV3r2ow5oHSYjEOwmuLC55pf7gk_pbhJglCa98fDDw62nYVo7i0HNo8azifx-L9-GtcKdhJ3-CdbArQtPKhaBNohPH8TtX7_AlZ/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span style="background-color: black;">We are not quite like the "Brady Bunch" or the "Partridge Family" So if I were to compare us to a sitcom television show it would be "The Munsters"</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica"; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">When you are walking down the street at night</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #d9d2e9; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">And behind you there's no one in view.</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">But you hear mysterious feet at night, </span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">Then the "Hohnsteins" are following you.</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">If you should meet this strange family</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">Just forget what some people have said,</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">The Hohnstein's may shake your hand clammily</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">But they're not necessarily dead.</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">Behind their house you mustn't be afraid</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">To see a figure digging with a spade.</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">Perhaps someone didn't quite make the grade</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">With the Hohnsteins, with the Hohnsteins.</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">If when you're sleeping you dream a lot,</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">Ghoulish nightmares parade through your head,</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">And then you wake up and scream a lot,</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">Oh the Hohnstein's are under your bed.</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">At midnight if creatures should prowl about,</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">And if vampires and vultures swoop down.</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">And werewolves and fiends shriek and howl about,</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">Oh the Hohnsteins are out on the town.</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">One night I dared peak through their window screen,</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">My hair turned white at such a crazy scene.</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">Because every evening its Halloween</span><br style="background-color: black;" /><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">At the Hohnsteins, at the Hohnsteins. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: black;">These lyrics date back from the original "At home with The Munsters" in 1964. Credited to Bob Mosher. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica";">I'm slightly being a bit theatrical about comparing ourselves to the Munsters however there is never a dull moment around here. In the first picture above we were celebrating our oldest sons twenty third birthday while wishing him all our best. He recently moved to Toronto with his girlfriend. During this day we learned to cook a Norwegian dinner tradition called Potato Klubb or also known as Potet Balls. A yummy staple dish consisting of carrots, turnips and pork ribs. We did make a vegetarian batch for us non meat eaters! Our family dinners are always on schedule, and our kiddos always have their own spots at the table. This solves any beheading that could emerge. (Just kidding) Speaking of family tables! I am very excited about our new look! Our table was looking pretty shabby so we purchased black paneling, then we designed our own spots with chalk. Then we added plexiglass to protect the art. The ultimate beauty is we can change the design whenever we want and or add the changing of the seasons. Fun! In conclusion it's not just about "spots" or "ownership" it's about connection. Feeling and remaining a part of a family. That's why our home is uniquely designed with our photographs, art and culture. Keeping it real always.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span style="background-color: black;">Family is everything!</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span style="background-color: black;">At the end of the day we are thankful we're still here and connected to each other, even if it's in mysterious ways! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span style="background-color: black;">Thank you for being patient with me and accepting all my grammar mistakes! I'm going to persevere and hopefully find my writing again! </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span style="background-color: black;">AND some sleep! </span></span></div>
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"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-86261898839211498862016-09-14T21:50:00.002-07:002016-09-14T21:50:46.594-07:00The other side of illness<span style="background-color: black; color: #cfe2f3;">It's been a year since my husband survived MRSA that went through his complete system causing sepsis and a magnitude of life changing physical and mental challenges. I was hoping to come back and write all the positives that I used too. I smile when I see the sparrows dancing in the sky, it reminds me of that post where I watched these beautiful birds flying and that triggered an enlightening and good story. I often look at pictures from our past, and reflect on how we once were. Illness changed us. I was really hoping by now that we could move forward. Don't get me wrong, we continually move forward day by day however my husband suffers from severe chronic pain, serious heart and organ complications. His brain damage has given him memory loss adding daily frustrations. There is nothing that we can do. I feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for our family. I feel sorry for our children. Every morning I check to see if he's still breathing. Today, I had my own doctors appointment. He told me that I need to stay healthy due to all the unknowns with my husband. Our doctor teared up stating he realized how important it is for me to remain healthy and strong. What does that mean? For my husband he continues with his weekly blood tests and ongoing MRI's. The MRI's have shown no change. His blood levels every time are escalated. For us we don't know what the next day will bring. There's days where he can't get out of bed due to his spinal damage and his nerves are creating spontaneous partial paralysis. When I was speaking with our doctor today I said it's very sad for a wife, and for our children to witness his daily struggles that limit his quality of life. How do we remain positive? How do I not check to see if he's breathing the next day? I was told today (not that I haven't heard it before) that what happened to my husband no one survives and to date they are baffled onto why his body isn't recuperating. Anyone that knows my husband knows that he is strong, determined, stubborn and has a high pain tolerance AND here is a man I see cry because he can't walk properly down the hallway due to dizziness some days. Now....as we remain "positive" we also know what the doctors keep telling us, "It's unfortunate" As I first aider I keep taking his blood pressure and he's completely in hypertension with a rapid pulse, I keep hoping it keeps going up and down so it doesn't cause a heart attack. AND no, there's no point going to emergency, because at this point it's not an emergency. Kinda waiting for that.... Waiting.... When.... What.....and where..... In the meantime (truthfully) this is the other side of illness. The core to everything - monitoring. I always try to have a smile on my face. When I pick up our kids from the public school or activities, I stay in our van catching up on emails, and people watching. I watch healthy people and once again feel sorry for my husband that struggles daily. I can't help it...it's not fare. We are persevering, we are continuing to experience and live our lives as best as we can but it's not a life I would wish onto anyone. Hence why I haven't written. However now that I've reopened this door and I have received a huge response to write again, I am. It has and is therapeutic. Regardless our health challenges, I still truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm not sure why this has happened to us and maybe the reason will never become clear. I don't know yet. I do know with every experience in our life, it's used to learn. Then to support. Then to teach......</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #cfe2f3;">For example, this summer our second oldest son was crushed in between a hydraulic picker and a cement wall. His groin was crushed and his femur was broken completely in half. When he called me from his work site while waiting for the ambulance I was so distraught. So so so upset and I think that's because of everything else we have been going through. Anyhow he underwent surgery and he asked to come home for his recovery. We set up a bedroom with an adjustable bed and to date he's still here getting around comfortably with his crutches while receiving physiotherapy. Now I don't wish this on anybody and especially my own child however since he's been here it's been so calming for my own heart. We also have been rekindling the past, talking more and spending time with each other that might not have happened if this unfortunate event didn't. So I have at least perceived this as a bonding time with our second oldest son, and I think he can conquer, even though this is a life changing event physically. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #cfe2f3;">Sometimes, (like my husband's condition) we don't know the outcome and we don't understand why this is happening. It's frustrating and draining on ones stress. I just can't help but believe that what we're going through is meant for a reason, our pain and suffering will be understood later and hopefully our children can understand this too. It has to be.....because what else is the other side of illness? Other then a lesson? </span>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-6078754127072388192016-08-03T13:47:00.002-07:002016-08-03T13:47:38.906-07:00HELLO! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #f1c232;"><span style="background-color: black;">August 3, 2016! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #f1c232;"><span style="background-color: black;">I left my blog open just in case I changed my mind. With some time off I am reconsidering however I would like to know your input. Would you like to hear from me? </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="color: #f1c232;">"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us" - Joseph Campbell</span></span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-64112628325976113362016-04-23T20:01:00.001-07:002016-04-23T20:01:50.915-07:00Good Bye<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">I've been thinking a lot lately. Have you ever felt bitter sweet about your decisions? Neither decision is right or wrong? But somehow you knew you were making the right choice even though it put a knot in your throat? Yeah, that's me. Life is meant to challenge us, life also isn't meant to do the same thing over and over again. We need to evolve. Our path lead is just one branch on the tree. I've been struggling with this decision for awhile and while still not 100% decided, I am writing to say, "Good bye" to blogging. We have had a rough year. I wanted to keep writing and focus on recipes but I can't. I am always trying to keep positive. I'm always advocating for others and for everything that my heart and soul believes in. Family. Experiencing. Unconditional love and acceptance for differences. I'm very much that same person. However our life has changed. We take one day at a time, every day is different and unfortunately difficult. I'm emotionally walking on a tight rope and my mind has many mixed feelings. I've always believed in writing from my heart. The truth. I always have written what's on my mind and it's not posting my blog with recipes. I love cooking, I love sharing but if I can't sit down with a clear mind and write like how I used too, I can't continue. My readers that have been following and know me personally know that I'm as real as one can get. Some of you might be thinking not writing on my blog isn't a big deal however it's been years of my life and time. A journey that I loved to just sit down with you and share. So for me, for this decision, it is a big deal for me and I'm sorry. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">To conclude this branch, I'm finding it really hard having a sick husband. I'm always on guard for what tomorrow might bring. Now adding a few other health challenges to our family I feel numb most of the time. That's truth. So it's time to eliminate a few tasks that I keep, and one is my blog. I will write that this doesn't end my writing path because I have plans for a future book and I won't delete my blog but keep it open. You never know when my mind might wander back. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">All I can say (write) is be real. Whatever branch you're on right now, live, love, and experience it because you will never know when it might break, or when you will have to make decisions to climb onto another one. Nothing is a guarantee that's for sure. So as much as I would love to keep writing, I wish all of you health, then happiness. AND I can't express enough to make miles in your life! If you have a dollar to spare, give it away. Make a difference. It starts at home.....and it's amazing on how one dandelion can spread to make a field of brighter colours - me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">Posts 717</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">Views to date - 97,714</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;">Thank you so much for your dedication and support all these years........be safe and just love.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;"><span style="background-color: black;"><br /></span></span>"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-889134917391893489.post-25927375835719504702016-04-12T19:02:00.000-07:002016-04-12T19:06:53.741-07:00We just exist<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Our weekend was good. It's nice that we can talk without hiding in the closet or stating we will talk later however later never happens because by then we forget. It was nice to just exist without cleaning up after somebody. We were able to get tickets to the ZZ Top concert. A couple couldn't go due to their child's illness which opened up an opportunity for us. Believe it or not, we have never attended a concert together. ZZ Top sounded exactly the same. Very talented musicians. We went out for dinner (as seen above) and just simply existed. It's interesting looking back at a picture. We look happy and healthy. Honestly.....you never ever judge a book by its cover. ZZ Top was great to see however Gerald was struggling sitting, struggling standing and not only was he struggling physically, whatever is going on in his brain, he is on and off dizzy. Every day can be different. So while I (maybe we) were looking forward to getting away, that's all it was....just existing. His chronic pain is 24/7. The spinal damage he has affects all four of his limbs, and whatever is going on Neurologically, it's not only frustrating and exhausting for him, it is for me. So it's difficult. It's aged him probably forty years. Then there's me. 2015 was traumatizing. I knew my husband's recovery was going to be very long and difficult. I just never thought that it would change our lives like it has. I feel so sorry for him. He wonders sometimes on why I'm staring at him and I can't tell him that I'm deeply sorry for his pain and suffering because he also doesn't want to be seen this way. I waited and waited almost selfishly for this weekend to come. I wasn't sure what I was thinking......because his condition has changed our lives. A weekend away isn't no miracle cure. His life is a continual struggle not witnessed in any picture. No time away is going to change what is. Our stress. The tension on what's next. Our future. That question, "What does tomorrow look like?" We just remain hopeful and take one day at a time. Trying to remain positive. I hear many saying, "Keep positive, we made it this far" You're right, we made it this far but with a cost. So for now, we just exist......doing what we can do as each day comes with two thumbs up. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Now lets get back to food! We had to cancel some outdoor field trips with our home schooling group due to weather. Seen below some of our kiddos made their own recipes using the dough I make. The dough is really easy to prepare. Then from there, you can literally make anything including bread, pizza, any food pocket you want, buns, cinnamon buns.....the sky is the limit with this yummy bread dough!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">The dough is three cups of warm water. Two table spoons of margarine. Two table spoons of sugar. One table spoon of salt. Two table spoons of quick rising yeast. Two eggs. Seven to eight cups of flour. Mix and knead all together until smooth and snapping. Only add the eighth cup of flour if the dough is still too sticky. Let stand to rise for one hour. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Our kiddos had a blast!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Koltyr and Zachary's Bun Shop!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Emily's Buns!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Byhonis Pie Crusts!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Jenna's Zebra's Buns!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="background-color: black;">Teesha's Apple Castle!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">Food, in the end, in our own tradition, is something holy. It's not about nutrients and calories. It's about sharing. It's about honesty. It's about identity. - Louise Fresco</span></span></div>
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"A forever growing family" "Sweet 16"http://www.blogger.com/profile/10400665296589784460noreply@blogger.com0