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Thursday, September 20, 2012

"Diaries of our strong kids"

Sometimes our children ask to write on my blog. The first below post was written by our birth son. Below is his thoughts on our large family developed through adoption. I find it helpful to read or hear from children including the birth children's views on their family's dynamics changed forever with more siblings. I speak once or twice a year on the adoption education panels and usually I will bring one or two of our children to either speak or present their culture through drumming, bannock samples and most importantly their thoughts on either being adopted or having adoptive siblings join them. Every child has a voice. I remember during our first adoption we were told that our son (then) didn't want to be adopted. He was eleven turning twelve. When my husband and I first applied to adopt, we stated that we didn't want to adopt children that didn't want to be adopted. I still remember our sons voice that wasn't heard. We had some difficult times and especially through his teenage years. That unheard voice came back to haunt us. Now after celebrating his nineteenth birthday, over coming and moving forward from those delicate rough years, he is a respectable young man. He is indeed our son. I'm very proud to say he wants me as his Mother. Although it took him seven years. Honestly, I wasn't sure if his voice not being heard at age eleven was going to be detrimental to his adoption or not....I still question, if he was more willing, "Would that make a difference?" Maybe. It definitely would have been easier. All I care about now reflecting back is, we made it through many years of hell and he is our son. Funny, they say genetics plays a huge roll onto whom you'll become but watching our nineteen year old son, he reminds me of myself. I have this habit he's acquired. We sniff our fingers. I've had this habit for years. Now our son has it. After awhile, we all start to look and act like each other. We met our oldest son the summer before his twelve birthday and I'm proud that he's my son - I'm proud that he's picked up on some of my weird habits. I'm very grateful he wants me as his Mom. ``Diaries of our strong kids`` is dedicated to all children waiting to be adopted, have been adopted and to the birth, and adoptive children that have adapted. It`s not easy to accept and be accepted, to change absolutely everything within a child's life. The second post is from our other twelve year old son. Once again I`ve left their writing exactly as is without edit and provoking. When I read his, I remembered being told he requested to live by the ocean. In fact some of our children have never seen the ocean before being adopted and I`m really happy that his wish (his voice) opinion was heard. I mean it was pure coincidence of course but when a waiting child has a vision, vocalizes their voice, it should be acknowledged. I believe this helps for a successful placement and forever future.

(1) i am a 12 year old birth son. i have 14 siblings most from adoptions. when i didnt have very many siblings my other siblings wouldnt hang out with me and my mom and dad worked my mom worked at night and my dad worked at day then they started adopting. then my mom stayed home and i got to see my mom more and now i have lots of brothers and sisters i definetly am not alone. what was really fun i have a older sister who i scared with my rc spider one year once my parents adopted i have someone to hang out with. now i have a large family, theres always something going on someone always has someone to play with. the best part is that i have a little sister that poos in the bath all the time and throws food at the dogs and shakes her leg when shes happy.having a large family with lots of brothers and sisters is always wierd someone is always doing different things like putting their hands in the toilet. my dad is always complaning about overflowing toilets before my parents adopted my life was quiet and boring, im writing as a project for my home schooling and for my moms blog.

(2) I am 12 years old and im a boy. I think having a large fammily is awesome you always have someone to play with and there's always something to do. I love sports my favorite sport is basketball I have two nets and I play with my brothers. I go to public school and I meet lots of friends. It's good to have a dad because he plays sports and taught me how to play chess and sometimes I beat him. I think my mom is awesome because  she always makes awesome food and she doesnt make hamburgers and hotdogs all the time she is a good writer witch u probly already know. My favorite food is tacos and usually my mom makes that. I was adopted at age 7 and I remember that someone told me about the ocean and the beach and I drew a picture of me living on the beach I have always wanted to live on a beach it was my dream and it finally came true. I live near a beach and i LOVE it I thought a crab was a big beatle. I have never been fishing until I got adopted. im preatty happy that im adopted and im in a large family and that my dream finally came true.

(3) I am 14 years old and im a boy. I was the firest to be adopted to my family out of my 4 birth brothers and one of my brother i used to play all the time with every day and every hour of the day and he was the brother that i talk to all the time we had fun times till one of my birth brothers got adopted then he started to play with the brother that i used to play with all the time i got really jeloous. my mom loves to adopt my mom loves it so much she adopted a dog and the dogs name is crazy the name is yin-yang its a funny name . I have a part time job it`s my first job and im hoping to stay with the job. Im home schooled and i like it because i get to spend more time with my amazing mom and dad that i love vary much. And i like to party!.

Lastly, the third written post seen above written by our fourteen year, he`s clearly a character. I promised not to change or edit their thoughts. I believe he`s writing for brownie points calling me his amazing mom but I will take where credit is due. (lol) What I did notice within his post was sibling jealousy. I do remember this time he`s referring too. We adopted five boys with staggered placements. Mostly, they were all in different foster homes. Our fourteen year old (age 9) when adopted was the first to join us. He never lived with his birth brothers. For the first month he connected with his new brother (our birth son) - that wrote first seen above. Then when his younger brothers arrived, he was jealous. Extremely. I remember fondly the tension between brothers ``jealousy`` sometimes maliciously fighting for their brotherly spot. Boys. The testosterone was high. Of course with time and adjustments, the jealousy semi-faded. It`s still evident today although every child (brother) knows their place within our family. I`m very appreciative that some of our children share their thoughts and on my blog. My blog was created to explain why we adopt, how we manage and hopefully offers some insights, support and positive encouragements. I advocate for adoption. I do believe children need stability and permanency that adoption provides. A family. We are dedicated. I see my fourteen year old pointed out within his paragraph that I love to adopt, I love it so much - I adopted a dog. Funny. We all have a path and ours is with children. I wouldn`t suggest just anyone to adopt children unless they`re ready to commit to a life-time of challenges, behaviors, special needs with adding routine, structure, some organization, patience and a huge sense of humor. In our day to day life I don`t ever refer our children by birth or adoptive son or daughter. (It`s just my son or daughter) On here it`s merely explanation. Too conclude somehow.....our family has not only grown in numbers, not only with love, it`s grown in strength within each of us to rise above the past, to accept each other with time, to face each challenge and move on to yet another new day with a voice.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Above normal

Groceries. Can you imagine purchasing groceries for our family? For us, it's a completely normal occurrence that happens several times a month. I usually shop at Costco and Superstore. Costco consists of two shopping carts fully loaded. We are stared at, I've heard whispers and always someone is saying a comment or asking a question about our groceries. Even the employees comment. We are used to the attention which can consist of negative or positive reactions. Mostly people just stare. I'm sure they have their own conclusions onto why we're pushing two fully over-loaded grocery carts. Maybe some think we've won the lottery and we're starving. I don't know. What I do know is, we are used to being people's entertainment. Not very often do I go into Costco purchasing not much. That being said, not much can be someones normal order. Tonight I went to Superstore with a friend that only has two adult children living at home. I purchased $215.00 dollars worth at first before I was told that if I spent $250.00 I would get a free turkey! SO I immediately went back buying a few more items to receive my turkey. Completely excited to get something for free and especially a turkey! Well.....when the turkey was presented to me I asked, "What is that?" The lady proceeded to tell me this was my free turkey. I started laughing and said, "This isn't a turkey, this a baby bird.....like a frying hen, a chicken, obviously it's not a full size adult turkey!" "I need three more of these free birds!" I jokingly said. My friend was having a blast grocery shopping with me. She was amazed of the amount of plums, bananas, oranges, tomatoes.......10 lbs in each bag at least! She stated that the turkey was a perfect size for her family. I still was shocked at its size and couldn't get over the fact onto why they would shed the life of a baby bird! My friend asked if she could join me the next time I shop at Costco to experience what that would be like. I said, "Sure as long as you can push another cart for me!" When we arrived home, my husband came out to help unload and asked, "What is this?" I said proudly, "It's my free turkey!" He laughed and asked, "What for breakfast!?" My friend laughed again, clearly she was having a great time, then she went home. It was awesome to get this free cornish hen (I mean turkey) BUT it isn't going to be served at Thanksgiving. I will cook it for sandwich meat. When I'm alone shopping, everything is normal. Even the looks I receive has become normal. What's interesting is, when you're out with someone who reminds you - this is above normal, a very different shopping experience for most and then it suddenly hits me, yes it is, you're right - this is above normal.....while looking at my 10 pound bag of potatoes thinking this is one nights staple compared to someone else's one weeks worth. No wonder we've become the center of attention. If I stood back and looked from a distance, WOW! That is a lot of groceries with one small bird! It reminds me when people stare at our family's size while out. I don't notice our size as it's our life like I don't notice my shopping carts. My brother in law once asked, "Haven't you seen children before?!" Perhaps next time I will ask, "What.....haven't you seen groceries before?" Anyways, I'm thankful for my free bird and I'm also thankful it has found room in our freezer without much hassle. And honestly, for me to notice us being "above normal" is seeing our family picture, so next time I will take a picture of my grocery carts and it will all become clear.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

"Surprise"

Surprises was my "theme" idea or attempt for our weekend. Saturday was off to a rocky beginning. Although one of our sons spent over an hour designing a monster truck picture for his little brother who LOVES monster trucks. He surprised his little brother with it afterwords. A picture that will be cherished for a long time, now that its safely hanging on the little brothers wall. (Picture seen above) Writing about surprises, I heard that another family we know surprised all their children on Saturday night with a family vacation. How wonderful is that!? When I was explaining to our children about surprising people, the surprise is suppose to be genuine, some thought involved where the surprise taking place will be remembered. A few of our children were saying, "I will scare !@#^$%&" Naming another sibling of theirs. I had to re-explain that this mission of surprising was to be a good, thoughtful and loving surprise. Not a frightening experience! There was a time years ago when we only had a few children and while waiting for an appointment I said, "Let's wish a stranger passing a great day!" I know, I know - children shouldn't talk to strangers but this was with me as an experiment. I remember two of our children approaching mostly the elderly (as we would scope them out) and wish them a great day, sometimes with a hug. This was over twelve years ago and I still remember the smiles on these individual faces. I've written about this before where "Paying it forward" works. Sometimes when I'm in a drive thru line up (usually Tim Hortons) I will pay for the persons order behind me. Of course, again.....I'm scoping them out. I really like targeting our elders. After all they are the ones that have developed our life to what it is now, they are wise and extremely life intelligent and have been through more then what I will ever experience. I was in a restaurant years ago minding my own business, sitting alone which enabled me to people watch. I saw this sweet couple. They were probably in their late 80's. They were holding hands, smiling and chatting amongst each other. It was a couple that more likely shared over 50 years together. OR they just met! Regardless of their situation, it was very sweet to witness. The woman helped the man and I was in "awe" Honestly, I don't see this often. Leaving that morning, I secretly paid for their meal. These are the surprises I'm trying to teach our children to do. Surprises without acknowledgement is the best. Then surprises with (for example) a drawn monster truck for his little brother is not just a picture but that acknowledgement of being thought of can last a lifetime too. When our children say, "I'm bored" or "There is nothing to do" I've usually responded saying, "Clean this or that" but lately I've been saying, "Why don't you do this......" Meaning something for their siblings. Building relationships is what our children need and I find that more important then cleaning the floors. Sunday was a brand new day. I thought my mission for surprising was long gone, washed under the bridge....... BUT I was surprised. Sometimes my power of suggestion with expectations fail....it didn't today. In the morning my father and mother surprised us with a little visit. Which was nice. Then we went to the corn maze for the afternoon. What was really surprising was we were able to pay for a family rate! Normally when there is twelve plus more of us, we have to at least pay for two plus families but not today! I thought that was really nice. This was a first being recognized as "one" family not paying for several. A family is a family, a family with four or a family with seventeen. Honestly, when it's defined as a family rate then honoring what "family" means is always great to see! To end our weekend, we had pizza and chocolate milk. Two of my boys (Age 9 & 10) went biking and returned with flowers in a water bottle....and to be honest, that was the best surprise and I really needed it even with the little bugs that popped out!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Weekend Assignment




Our weekend is starting with endless homemade sushi and BBQed burgers. Then......I seen this post above by the Oprah Winfrey Network (Own) and I thought, "What a great idea" I'm going to ask for our children to try this assignment this weekend. I will let you know how it unfolds. Perhaps your weekend can be full of surprises too!?

"Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you're going to live your life" - Joel Osteen.



Tuesday, September 11, 2012

"Be the change you wish to see in your room" - Me.


It's amazing that the plate above isn't falling off our counter top! Usually when plates, cups - anything near the edge drops to the floor! The story. I love cooking. I enjoy being in my kitchen. When our oldest daughter isn't studying at her University, she is working. She works at a very up beat fine restaurant and has learned how to bar tend. When she was home, she made these wonderful lettuce wraps. A feature (not exactly seen above) served at the restaurant she works at. I asked her if I could take a picture because more then likely I was going to blog about these little beauties. I think they're brilliant. If anything, a great appetizer or a dish to serve at a potluck. These lettuce wraps consisted of what we had in our fridge at the time. Ham, diced tomatoes, cheese, avocado, lettuce with some caesar dressing and hot sauce. My vision is endless. Shrimp, crab, a rice noodle, parmesan cheese, any spice, any sauce, any meat, absolutely anything. Instead of having a taco shell, make tacos out of lettuce. This simple invention can be created in several different ways. I can't express enough on how I absolutely love this idea! Simplistic, affordable yet elegant. Bon appetit!

I'm in my room. It's completely quiet at 9pm in our home. No televisions on, all our children are sleeping and I've chosen to blog. I could call it "Bliss" I have two craft tables that align each other, everything is organized and I'm sitting in the middle of it. To the left of me is material, leathers, a printer with some finished home school work and different sizes of pull ups. In the middle is me with my computer. To the right is all my organized envelopes of pictures with massive amounts of scrap booking materials, even further is my weights and workout necessities. Underneath is where I hide my laundry that I need to fold and put away. I heard once that you should keep your room, your room. Peaceful and full of solitude. A space to call your own. This definitely looks like my space. lol A place where if I'm feeling weepy, I can just grab a pull up. A place where if I want to continue to work on home schooling, it's to the right of me. A place where if I'm missing my children while they're sleeping, I can just grab their picture to the left of me. And a place if I need another layer of clothing, I just need to bend down and put it on. Who cares if it isn't mine, right?! I'm not complaining.....I'm trying to make humor of my solitude. I'm actually pretty content. I do have to state that having your own room is essential. Ideally, my room would be designed way differently. "No, no....seriously....it would" I would rather a tissue then trying to wipe the tears from my face with a pull up. My biggest thing about my room is......it's quiet now. It is bliss. Although during the day or early evenings, some of our children think it's a room to hang out. To come and use my bathroom. To lay on my bed. It doesn't matter how much we say, "This is our room, stay out" It seems to be an open room. Interestingly enough, our children understand the boundaries about their siblings rooms but not their parents. So we lock our room door. It's not about "trust" per-say but somewhat, the biggest thing is, "It's our room" Can I not have a room? In order for me to change my clothing, I need to lock my door. Even our older children have this need to come in.....searching for something. I wonder if I started appearing in their room whenever, laying on their bed, looking at their belongings....possibly touching and moving their belongings around, on how that would go over? I might have to try an experiment. One of my favorite quotes is, "Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi. That quote actually sits to the left of me. I read that on a daily basis. Tonight, while sitting in my blissful well equipped incontinent prepared room, I thought....."Be the change you wish to see in your room!" So I will more likely add this to my list of things to do. For now, at the back of me is my pile of books I'm reading. They can stay until I'm finished. Too conclude, my words to remember are, "Happiness depends upon ourselves" Regardless if it's in a bedroom, in a kitchen or running outdoors - ourselves have to step that forward.

Accomplishments with different twists

Yesterday was not only productive (gym, multiple errands and appointments accomplished) but it was very exciting. I helped our fourteen year old son make his first resume. Then we stopped off at our local A & W restaurant while doing errands. He was really nervous at first. I basically told him that until he goes into the establishment and delivers his resume, we will sit out in the parking lot looking at each other. I had our oldest son with us, coaxing my fourteen year old along. We waited about fifteen minutes and my fourteen year old finally returned. He was hired on the spot starting today! This is a milestone - starting your first job ever! Very exciting and amazingly hired with his first attempt. A beginning into the work force, making his own money and gaining more responsibilities sounds like a great new milestone to me! After his first successful shift, we opened up a bank account and he received his first debit card. In between his part-time job, he's home schooling. I'm very proud of him earning his own money and taking on more responsibilities. We are keeping our fingers crossed that he will maintain everything that is going on for him. I remember when our oldest daughter starting working at age thirteen. Yes young but responsible and dedicated. She worked part time, she went to school and was in performing arts five days a week. I believe teenagers need responsibilities, need goals and activities (keeping busy physically and mentally) to keep out of trouble. Our oldest daughter saved $15.000 by the age of 16. Now she's completely career driven. I always tell our children, "Don't do what I did" Starting a family first. It's very difficult to juggle a family while trying to get ahead financially. I was lucky but it took several ( a lot ) more years of struggling through hardship, mental stress and a huge dedication to change my life for myself and my two children. Not the way to start - so I definitely preach self success before anything else. So when our children (teens) (young adults) are making good choices, working and feeling that success within themselves by doing so - it's a milestone in the right direction.


Lately our family has been undergoing many milestones. Beginning a new school year with home schooling, our new son starting a new school so far successfully and happily, new employers either for their first time or multiple times, our oldest son is back in school starting today, our oldest daughter started her RN 4 year program and our dog Wilbur is becoming a father. OK that's not a milestone but anything that is new that needed some work to succeed I find to be a milestone around here. LOL even puppy making! The interesting part of this whole stud deal was bringing our dog into the vet to get his sperm count checked. I asked the vet, "So um....is this done with a machine?" He laughed responding, "No, it's all done manually" "Oh, oh....OH.....um, is it ok for me to leave the room?" I asked. He smiled and said, "No problem, we will call you in when we're done" With a big sigh of relief on my part I continued to say, "Thank you, I just feel somewhat uncomfortable as it seems forbidden to me" WELL I believe I made our vets day. He laughed and laughed. Afterwords I was able to check out the sample collected, the semen evaluation was more then 80% progressive with no sperm defects. Now if that isn't a milestone for Wilburs first assessment, I don't know what is!


So with a successful pregnancy for the female, there will be mini-labradoodles for sale if anyone is interested.

Call it milestones or just call it accomplishments with different twists, regardless what it is, it's been relatively interesting. All I know; I've learned a lot myself this week about breeding dogs. (Too much) - laugh it's great for your abdominal muscles! At least smile, it stretches out the frowning wrinkles! Just don't imagine what I've had to do supporting our dog Wilbur!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Mind frame opener


I'm in the process of making all our children their own life albums. I take a lot of pictures. The organizing of these pictures is a chore in itself. At some point in their future, they will receive a beautifully designed photo album with their life memories. Memories is what they'll be. I have tons of albums from my childhood and it's interesting to look back once in awhile, smile, perhaps laugh, maybe even cry reminiscing remembering my past. Everything I used to do, who I was, hugging and cuddling my parents, sitting with my sister with bell bottom ripped jeans with a Fred Flintstone t-shirt and red socks (seen above) was and still remains important to me. This is why developing albums for each of our children is important. My sister and I fought. We also enjoyed each others company when there was no others. The green painted wood siding behind us even brings back memories of the house I grew up in. My hair was clearly the 1970's and finally just now I can manage it! lol Time moves quickly. The photograph above is just that.......only a memory. A minute after taken that moment disappeared. That picture will never change but we did. This is why I keep reminding our children that all our moments together should be cherished. We should treat each other with respect, love and to hold onto what we have (each other) because eventually time passes, life changes, we change and soon enough we pass on. We can't stop the cycle of life but we can enhance the cycle while we're alive together. Creating positive memories. I know I'm clearly like a broken record constantly writing about enhancing our lives but isn't that why we're here? I was in deep thought about how to communicate with pre-teens/teenagers/young adults that aren't communicating back. Recently someone was asking on a FASD (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder) support page on how to get her daughter out of her room. Obviously there is more to this story but it brought me to thinking.......how would I deal with this situation? First I suggested turning off her power to her room, that would force her out to have a conversation before the power is restored. Unfortunately in their situation, she doesn't need power. Their situation has recovered itself for the positive but it left me questioning......if it didn't and it was my child, what would I do? This is where the good ole memories of my own come into action. I would go into my isolated child's darkened room, lay on their bed and start talking. I might even bring in some munchies. I find teenagers don't want to be pressured into answering questions. SO no pressure. I would just babble on about my past. Yes - the negatives. One story at a time. Of course he/she would "pretend" that they're not listening. BUT AH - they are! I would then leave. I would continue to do this until it drove him/her crazy. Eventually A - he/she will come out of their room into the light to get away from me or B - they will stay in the darkness thinking about my stories and maybe think about the relation of my past to their own problems. It gives them their own decisions to share what's going on and the opportunity to open up when it's comfortable for them. Basically the pressure is off and it's all about me. lol Building trust is the number one factor. Giving space. Having patience. It could be the same day, a few days, a week, a month later but usually you will be approached with either more questions on your own experiences or an opening to theirs. Believe me....I haven't had the opportunity to lay in a darkened room (yet) but I have had opportunities to share my past while being semi-glared at, possibly ignored but they came to me eventually wanting to either hear more or talk about their situation. Memories. We all have had our positive highlights and we all have had our negatives. It's good to share. It's good for our children to know that I've had some rough times. I find children usually isolate themselves because they feel that they're alone within a situation, embarrassed and afraid. I might have changed from that little girl wearing a Flintstone shirt but I do have some memories good and bad that I can share, possibly relate in hopes that it isn't just a picture but a mind frame opener. Funny, I often hear, "AGH, I heard this story before! YOUR mom would have to go find you for dinner because you played outside all day in the forest waiting for your mud pies to cook in the sun" Prime example and confirmation for me that they're listening even when they claim they're not! Too conclude, pictures are important not only to capture that memory that changed minutes after, they are memories to share and pictures to bring back memories that are lost and was once there. And to help us as parents to confirm that we were once children too, not perfect, awkwardly struggling at times, feeling lonely, afraid, bullied, confused and yes feeling not understood. I remember those days. So as I write about making positive memories, filling albums full of positive moments in time - it also is "Ok" to have and remember those negatives. A picture is more then a picture, more then a memory - it can be a mind frame opener to help us (me) with our children, to help our children with theirs. And yes, to enhance our cycle of life with each other in a darkened room. (If that makes any sense at all)

"Confidence thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live" - Franklin Roosevelt

Thursday, September 6, 2012

ABC and "Da Da"

OK - I was told recently that I need to have fun with our home schooling. Too relax. RELAX!? Are you kidding me! lol I've been up until midnight every night preparing our next days adventure with learning. Being our first week and everything is unorganized AND being unorganized is not in my vocabulary has been testing my patience. So three days into a new school year, my children that are being home schooled have already been accomplishing placement tests for their math, have started physical education logs, have briefly learned our solar system, have done word search puzzles, have completed "What in the world" and "The Canadian Reader" units and our fourteen year old made his first resume which we will deliver! Tonight while blogging I've designed a few creative writing assignments for tomorrow, basically to test their abilities with writing and grammar. (Something I struggle with while writing myself....) What I find exciting is - the outcome of their creativeness! Two of our children have assignments writing about their visions of tomorrow. Meaning what will their house look like in 2050? What foods will they eat? What will they be wearing? Where will they be?! For our younger children, their writing assignments are looking at a picture and writing what they see. Unfortunately this could be beyond their capabilites but there is no harm in trying. My thoughts are to collect their math placements and writing abilites before October then start on their actual grade appropiate program. In one way I feel stressed but in another way I feel intrigued already knowing more about my children from home schooling from only three days! I spoke with our rescource worker this afternoon and she gave me a great idea. Taking our home schooled children to Kool and Child and purchasing some excercise books of their own interest. I thought, "WOW, that is an awesome idea and we're totally doing that!" I'm hoping we can adapt and enjoy home schooling. I can't say it's smooth sailing because it's NOT! I've been frustrated with the whole ordering concept, I don't want to purchase what our children can't accomplish and I'm mostly at a loss ordering items that I can not see physically. Sometimes I have no idea. "Sigh" I feel inadequate. I'm starting to praise other parents that are home schooling successfully and teachers in general. This isn't easy. Then of course adding the oppositional child. "Joy to my world" For me, besides the frustrations, I am enjoying the nightly next day plan I've been preparing. Not to mention, I am learning along with our children. Learning about reading strategies, identfying topics, making connections and teaching them to highlight relevant facts, returning and going back. I know recently a high wire act was successfully completed on Niagara Falls (June 15th) For the first time in more than 100 years, a man crossed a 550 metre cable suspended between two cranes, 61 metres above roaring water. I briefly caught this on the news BUT we learned about it today! I thought that was pretty cool. So home schooling has it's moments. What I like is......I get to design their learning. I believe if they're interested, they'll be successful. Tonight they asked me, "What are we learning tomorrow?" NOT that they're excited, they're worried what's next. lol I just said, "You will have to wait and see" Honestly that gives me more time to prepare! In the meantime.......I'm taking a break and blogging. This is also another successful day with our children in public school and for myself maintaining my own goals with strengthening training at our local gym. No mission is impossible.

"Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production, or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. SEEMING TO DO IS NOT DOING" - Thomas Edison.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Transformation

Already the second day of school and I've developed a routine to deliver some of our children to public school, started a home school routine while adding gym time. Last night I accomplished ordering some home school supplies such as novel studies and some science units while printing out free subscriptions from the Canadian reader. I was very proud of myself at 11:30pm at night having the next days course load ready to go! With a 7am start, I went to the local elementary school paying for already requested materials then ventured off to http://www.jimsgym.ca/ A gym I just started. This morning was very productive at the gym because Jim himself was instructing me on how to heal my left sciatic injury from a previous hip injury and we're developing a core body strengthening plan. Jim was excellent and without any added payments. With anything we try to accomplish in life, we need support. I will be the first to admit that with my dedication to my health, I need support with it and with Jim's expertise and support, I will dedicate myself to his establishment. I left feeling very good knowing a bit more on what to do for myself. Thank you Jim! He also explained depending on my dedication, we will start off at the beginning and take my strengthening plan as far as I want to go. I laughed stated, "I have tons of patience and I am a strong dedicated individual because after all I have many children" This is what I've decided for myself. Not only for myself, it's important for me to be healthy and strong for our littlest five year old daughter with Cerebral Palsy who currently doesn't walk. I want to transform myself for myself which develops my happy place but most importantly I need to remain strong. I have this vision.......all our children can participate in any physical activity. Our littlest daughter "might not" be able too. I have full faith that one day with her own independent dedication and supports she could walk but if by chance she never does, I want her to experience absolutely everything anyways. That's where I step in as her fully dedicated Mother. Recently I saw a article about a father that completed a triathlon carrying his thirteen year old daughter with CP so she could finish the event too. How inspiring that was for me to read! I thought, I need to continue to have a body transformation so I can help give our daughter her best life. So not only do I have several schools going including home school, loads and loads of laundry plus a home to maintain, children to feed - I have myself to take care of so I can continue to do all these things plus live our best lives possible. Anyone who knows me knows I'm always on mission. A mission to accomplish endless opportunities, to build memories, to succeed as an individual and as a family. I can't express enough if you add that hour a day for yourself, it will set the tone within you to become less stress free, happier because you're doing something for yourself and you will cope easier with frustrating life scenarios. I can continually write about what I call developing our "Happy Self" (previous post) because I live and I am accomplishing it. Yours might not be transforming your body, whatever it is.......reading a book, crafting, dancing, learning to play an instrument, it will help your soul and develop the peace inside you which helps develop that patience to parent. That's "how" I cope - because I'm constantly asked, "How do you do it mentally? How do you cope?" Too conclude it's never too late to transform into that person you want to be. As I always say, "Start today" I'm going to post the link about the story of the father that inspired me.......and to leave you with these three words. "Anything is possible" - Me.

Click on link below to read the inspiring story:

http://thebertshow.com/one-amazing-father-finishes-a-triathlon-carrying-his-daughter-with-cerebral-palsy-across-the-finish-line/

Monday, September 3, 2012

Over generosity


We're back. Monday to Monday we camped with another family. We watched search and rescuers jump from helicopters, most of our children swam, went tubing, rode their bikes, made new friends, went to the BMX track and attended the car races. It was a filled week of endless candy, chips, pop and smores! For two nights we had more friends come for dinner and they enjoyed boating. My father and mother came for one afternoon and we had other family members camping near us. Our weather held out with only a few drops of rain periodically. My friend would agree - we weren't melting from the amount of sugar we inhaled while being spitted on! (Inside joke) Mostly we enjoyed each others company. Our children and theirs all had fun with only some constant nagging, complaining and arguing from only one. (Ha ha) I always seem to keep any frustration I have under control, at least I hope. Believe me, we have our moments. My husband had an accident at the BMX track. Basically from what I heard; head, limbs and full trunk went head over heels over the handle bars. Ironically before they left to the track, we were joking about not bringing back anyone with bloody wounds. When they returned our power of suggestion was indeed powerful because when my husband came into full view, it was not good. Finally after days of dragging his one leg he went to the hospital but returning after discharging himself because it was like a bomb went off with traumatic injuries coming from everywhere at the hospital. (Apparently he's returning tonight) During the evenings our children ran around with glow sticks taped to their eyes. (seen above) They all definitely had a great time. The only issue I really had other then a few argumentative children and a stubborn husband was some other campers giving our children food and money. Our camper was loaded like a store. Everyday they had plenty of food. Almost an endless supply. Although there was not one but several families feeling the need to hand out ice cream, popsicles, glow sticks - you name it, our children were receiving it. There was this really genuinely nice family camping beside us. I just loved them. I did have a conversation with her about why I have an issue with "over generosity" For this one family it started with some of our children helping their daughter pump and fill her pool. The grandmother wanted to pay for our children's "work" That was "ok" Although more of our children wanted to help because they found out money was being handed out. I did explain to the grandmother and our children that helping shouldn't be automatically be done for money but for the sole purpose of helping one another. I was worried that I insulted the grandmother but I also tried to reassure her that it was a nice offer but I don't want anyone including her to be taken for granted. As once money is being handed out, most children assume their help should be paid for. Our children should be helping regardless expecting nothing in return. So I believe that was straightened out. Although I ended up having several conversations with other parents and once again with our children while in hand they carried either money or other food items that weren't from our camper. Generosity of sharing is a beautiful trait to learn but with stating that, other parents need to realize they need to ask permission before giving out money and food. Not just because of allergies but it's about showing children they need to ask permission from their parents. Also it's about controlling entitlement. For our children (which I tried to explain several times) once given they start to expect, they will move into a campsite and easily request more. It's not appropriate. I also find having a larger family with different cultures, some people assume (of course) we are a foster family and permission doesn't need to be granted because we wouldn't technically be their guardians. These poor children.......lets give them another freezie. OR we're a larger family so we must be in poverty. Whatever it is, it's very bizarre to me. It happens a lot at our local community school. I have to remind everyone that these are our children AND they don't need extra baked goods, money or for their scholastic books paid for! Our children are very well looked after and fed. I would not give or pay for another child that isn't mine unless I asked permission from their parents. At least I try to ask every time I'm handing out anything, "Go ask your Mom first" It's not only protection, it's respect and teaches the child that their parents are always in control. (not the generosity per-say) AND of course, children shouldn't be taking anything from anyone anyways without consulting their parents regardless of the situation. One of our sons had his own money, his generosity was out of control too. It's very nice to be generous.....but their is limits and permission should always be granted first. Another conversation we will be having with our children very soon to reconfirm what steps should follow with generosity. For now, the summer season is closing, our last successful camping trip is over and I'm somewhat lost on where to start now that it's September! One day at a time, starting tomorrow - public elementary and middle schools. Starting homeschooling for six and catching up on all the necessities that follows having a family like mine. :)