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Thursday, February 28, 2013

The calm before the storm

The calm before the storm. Just in case, we're ready - if you've been reading, our week since last Thursday has resulted in multiple hospital trips. Tonight we're seeing our doctor for a follow-up for both our daughter and son. I'm not sure what the diagnoses is going to be because our daughter is still sick and our sons chest has started to crackle. I'm hoping we're at the tail-end of illnesses. Although in a week and a half, we'll be at Children's hospital for a few days. I find it relieving because we're hoping for answers with a possible conclusion. I've had a few concerned friends question how we're holding up. Even offering their help. I want to say, "I appreciate the offers" I write because I enjoy educating about our life regarding adoption, special needs and having a large family. I also write because it's my personal time to share what I'm willing to share, including my feelings and experiences being a mother of many complex children. I can't stress enough that my husband and I are a team. Everything usually moves smoothly and accordingly because my husband and I parent the same way with keeping our structure, routines and organization flowing. If I'm not home - our home still runs smoothly because my husband carries on just the way it's meant to be. We don't have respite, we don't necessarily need help. The reason being is because having someone come in - our routine is gone, our children become lost and start using this to their advantage. So it's easier for my husband and I to do everything ourselves. Here I go again.......I know, I know, and I know - if we need it within our future, we will definitely ask. I just have noticed that us saying, "No Thank You" is upsetting to some that have offered. I want to stress that when and if we need help, we will come searching for you! Be careful what you offer. lol Because I will be structuring you into our routine! So both my husband and I are completely fine "right now" My husband is a really good man. Here's a funny for you. He loves vacuum cleaners. The mucus has been flying like crazy around here. I had my hands busy, so I yell for my husband to wipe one of our children's noses quick! He goes running with the tissue in hand and wipes our daughters nose. I then yell, "Not that one! The other one!" He goes running sliding like Kramer off of Seinfield......wiping the other.

Then he says, "This would be a lot easier if I just used the vacuum cleaner and sucked all the mucus out of every ones noses around here!" Tis to the pre-spring season with constant sicknesses floating around! For us, it's like a pandemic where it's widespread jumping from one person to the next while my husband slides swiftly across the floor trying to stop the contagious flying flem! But at least we find humor with the seasonal flu!

For now, dinner is prepared, and fresh lunches are made for tomorrow and it's calm before the storm........................
Sandwiches with notes
 Spaghetti with curled noodles
Fresh Buns with dinner -

 Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies
To always, always conclude, "Every day I've got to be thankful that I am (we are all) alive, and you never know - the cliche is, I guess, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, so you'd better be at peace with whatever you got going at the moment!"
"Joseph Gordon-Levitt"

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

My oldest son

First off - things aren't looking much better from the last time I wrote. (Health wise) Although this post is dedicated to my oldest son. The other day in the midst of my pity party I wanted to share something with our oldest son. I explained to him that we chose to adopt him from a bulletin board. It was a snip of who he was. He was turning eleven years old when we first found him out of hundreds of children to adopt. It was very exciting for us to know we've found the children we wanted to finish raising. When we first seen his picture, I remember noticing what BIG feet he had. It reminded me of counting a newborns baby toes except for he was wearing extremely massive shoes! I also noticed his wispy hair with his big bright eyes. He was a good looking boy. After accepting the proposal package, we pushed for movement. Eager new adoptive parents, we wanted our new children home. Although we had to wait another year because he was First Nations. We needed to have an exception from his band to be adopted into our family. Month after month we waited. Then came June, it was time. I explained to him that I knew he didn't want to be adopted. We also didn't want to adopt a child/children who didn't want to be adopted either. Well.....the process continued for some reason. Meant to be perhaps. For two months, every weekend we would go back and forth to his community. On our wedding anniversary, August 14th our son and his sister was placed for adoption. It was a hard transition. After all, it was just before our daughters 10th birthday and our sons 12th. Adopting older children is difficult for everyone and especially the children. That was 8 years ago this year. He's now turning 20 years old! We had more then a rough patch between 16-18 years of age. As forewarned, he sought out his birth family, seeked independence and didn't want me as his mother, us as his family. Now, he's just amazingly respectful, he seems appreciative and he reminds me over and over again that I am his Mother. He taught me something. He taught me to say, "I love you" more often. My almost 20 year old son tells me every time he sees or talks to me that he loves me. As much as I can say, "It was love at first sight" It wasn't. The first picture I saw him in, I would stare at every detail. I would look at his picture daily like you do when you give birth to a child. Love came later. I think it's really special now that he's a young adult, and we have over come, we made it together as a mother and a son. Now I can honestly say, older adoptions can work. My son and I have a good relationship. I think, a better relationship then ever before. Now, I step back. I'm his mother but he's also an adult. Instead of constantly focusing on parenting him, we hang out like adults. It's nice. He has a beautiful girlfriend I adore. A great full-time job. He interacts with all his brothers and sisters. I'm proud of him and I'm grateful he never gave up on his family, on me. He's our first success story and I know he doesn't hear it enough - that we love him. I thought I would write and explain it's difficult raising children sometimes, it's more difficult starting at age 12. I understand......and now I'm just happy I get to be a part of his next milestones in life. His adulthood. Son, if you're reading - Momma does love you, and I'm proud that you're my son. So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me, "Mom" and means it. I am honored.

Morgan Fawcett on living with FASD (Please watch)

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Fight for health and courage to survive

I contemplated writing. I'm tired. Since Friday, our weekend changed. Our second oldest son with his lung issues came to us with severe pain after a bicycle accident. He feared (we feared) that his lung collapsed again. His lung surgeon is in Victoria, so we went to the hospital where his previous surgery happened. A few hours later we learned he had a chest contusion. Bruising of his chest wall, his lung so far looks good. So he's extremely lucky but extremely sore nonetheless. Heading home he felt sick, I rolled down my car window and that's when his pain medication prescription flew out the window - the start of our weekend began............

Our one daughter started coughing on Thursday. The coughing escalated adding gagging with the occasional vomit. Then the fever started. She stopped eating and drinking. We were back syringing fluids. By Saturday night she started to worry us. Another trip to a different hospital. Three hours later we found out she has aspirated pneumonia and an ear infection. Our poor baby girl. Night after night, hour after hour she awoke choking. There was one night I caught her choking on vomit. Lucky, she sleeps next to me in her own hospital bed. I'm quick to react. At the hospital for the second time within a day, I was quiet......tired. I people watched hoping nothing they had we would catch. Realizing people were watching us as my daughter choked on her own flem. I felt I needed to state my daughter wasn't contagious. Then I did......this opened up a discussion with another woman and her husband. She shared that she has stage 4 cancer. She fought and won seventeen years ago and now it's back to kill her she explained. I was so eyes filled with tears and I said, "You have to keep fighting" A stranger in the waiting ER room......I felt I needed to give her strength, encouragement because she matters. Her husband was sitting there silent, sad and I could tell feeling hopeless. All I could say again, "You have to fight, you are worth the fight" We both departed ways almost at the same time. I don't know if I made a difference but I left feeling different. After long hours, worry, stress in two separate hospitals within two days......not much sleep......I left feeling thankful regardless. I was reminded that whatever we all suffer from - someone is always suffering worse. My pity party ended (slightly)

I also learned something else. Dr. Phil once said that we allow ourselves to be treated the way we're treated. So if we're treated horribly - it's our own fault because we're allowing it to happen. We allow it to continue to happen. It reminds me of a abused beaten woman who never leaves her husband. Yes the husband is guilty but we're only victimized because we allow the cycle to continue. This also goes for how we allow our friends and family to treat us. If we want respect, to be treated decently.....we have to be on our own game and direct it. For me, it's difficult. I know, I know and I know. I am a peace keeper. I don't like conflict. The problem with that is, I'm an easier target for being used and abused but I believe I'm getting better, developing a thicker skin and I can feel confident addressing the issues. This comes from being hurt many times over - experiencing is learning. More then any book can offer.

To end the weekend......our son is suffering immensely from pain. He isn't coping well, which could mean somethings not just right. Our daughter is very sick and we're patiently waiting to go to Children's hospital. I could go on........because there's more but this weekend was enough. We did manage to have our one sons 10th birthday party on Sunday afternoon.

Monday (Feb 25th) our oldest daughter leaves traveling Central America then she's officially moving. For this....I have mixed feelings.

This weekend is gone.........and that I'm also grateful for. Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning to fight for health and courage to survive life. If you get too tired, fight with your eyes closed. I have.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Tough Mudder

I'm officially crazy. If I wasn't busy before.....I added going to my sisters boot camp, and I'm on a strict meal plan. Not just for weight loss but for health, for strength and to attend (race) Tough Mudder. A friend of mine has done this difficult obstacle course in the past and this June another someone I know has signed up. (Good for you Shannon! And thank you for re-inspiring me) I on the other hand need a year for training. You're probably wondering why on earth torture myself with meal planning, boot camps and hiking hills to eventually tackle an obstacle course that consists of mud, carrying logs, climbing over brick walls and being electrocuted!? I want to because it's for myself. Being a mother of many children, I am tied down to our home base doing absolutely everything for everyone else and I want to direct what energy I have left into my own personal power to become healthy and strong. It's basically for my own satisfaction and to say I've completed a goal other then adopting! After-all, what else can I do for myself? This week I've been to Notch hill twice, and I starting a 2km run near my house plus Boot camp this Thursday squeezing in baking, our ongoing therapy appointments and homeschooling. You can do everything - I like the feeling of conquering challenges. Ever interested in joining me - message me.

 Water is my best friend!

Nature is my peace

"Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make the instrument stretch-what make you go on beyond the norm" - unknown.

This is my 400th post - minus the 250 I deleted! Never again, a deletion will occur!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Embrace your life, love and don't procrastinate!

Another beautiful weekend with not just weather, with our family. On Saturday my husband once again brought half of our children up to Mt. Washington while I took the other half to Jumping Jiminy's, grocery shopping and our one daughter for a haircut. The same daughter that donated her hair to Locks of Love a year or so ago, is donating 10 inches this year!

Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to children that are suffering from long term medical hair loss from any diagnoses. The children receive hair prostheses free of charge based on financial need. It's wonderful that our daughter's hair grows very quickly and she's enthusiastic on sharing what she's naturally growing so beautifully for others. Perhaps this is a growing trend for her!

On Sunday my father and mother came over for lunch. I made eggs benny with either bacon or shrimp for everyone. Seen in the above picture is my one set of parents that visit regularly from out of town. Active grandparents that have embraced all their grandchildren. I know I've written previously about our adoptive children's acceptance, acknowledgement into our family and on how it's a different celebration between a birth and an adoption from most people although these two grandparents have been actively welcoming from day one. Our children have two active sets of grandparents, my parents seen above and my other parents that live near. Our children are fortunate because when I grew up, I had no grandparents at all. In this post, I'm going to write about this particular set of parents seen above. When I was eleven years old my original set of parents separated. My birth parents. It was a difficult time. Now I have four parents, all that I love. Looking back as hard as it was within my childhood, I wouldn't change anything now. It formed who I am today. I am blessed having four parents, which gives our children more grandparents to love. For my step-parents, I believe I gave them a hard time growing up. With time, just like an adoption - I accepted and I grew with love for them. Here we are today and I'm so grateful for what life gave me. I truly believe that our life circumstances are there for a reason, regardless if we struggle and have some unfortunate events, they define our futures. It's all part of our life experiences, and we can either choose to go forward with a positive attitude or live within our past. I know first hand that life isn't meant to be easy, and for this.....I teach our children the same thing. Don't be ashamed of your past, don't even regret it, it was what it was and now you are who you are with the people in your life. Make choices from now on for success, triumph and glory! My glory is my four parents. My mother seen above I wouldn't have without my original birth parents divorce. I love the people I have in my life, and I wouldn't want to change my past. To repeat myself, I explain to our children to not regret their past, because without it, they wouldn't have us! This includes my birth children, I had a divorce too.....without that incident, they wouldn't have the father they have now who is actively in their life. My parents above are wonderful. They don't miss a birthday, nor a Christmas and they attend all our adoption events. My mother seen above might not know this, perhaps I've never told her but she is a very warm, loving and accepting woman. She has more compassion that I try to have. Now that I know, and I've witnessed how my life played out - I am so thankful for what and whom I have in my life, I wouldn't want it without her. I've been told I'm just like my father........regardless if this is a negative, positive or a indifferent comment - I'm proud to be just like him. He's quietly respectful keeping his opinions to himself, he's a hardworking genuine man that has a quirky sense of humor. I know there's more to him......that he's unwilling to share, I respect him for that. He's not just my father, he's a loving accepting grandfather for all our children. I can say this, I want more of my parents in my life. My thoughts today, cherish the people in your life, your family and most importantly your parents. Life is too short to live in the past, to blame, judge, make assumptions or to choose to live within any negative circumstances that brought you where you are today. Be your own power, embrace your life, love like today is your last - respect your parents. Be responsible for your own actions, change for the positive........thank for what you have. Today I'm thankful for my parents. I thank my father and my mother for being who they are, for continuing to visit and accepting all our life changes, choices and supporting us. (Love you more then you probably know) To finish off our weekend, I managed to run Notch hill and help finish two Science projects! Procrastination gets no where, move onward and take your life in your hands, finish projects and feel successful! Our weekend was just that!

Notch Hill at 4:30pm today!
A place not only consisting of beauty and exercise, a place to relax your soul!
Love, love, love it!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Mind Boggled, change and communication needs to happen NOW!

I've started writing. Then I stopped. I started again.......then I deleted. Mainly my focus this week has been all over the place. I can't seem to write about one specific topic. This week has been kind of mind boggling with the two house fires, and several other losses that has happened within one week. Plus adding Science projects, home school, on-going therapy appointments, some of our children on and off sick including myself, Valentines Day, organizing birthdays, continuous online school ordering, squeezing in doctor appointments and having issues with bullying. (I could have written a lot) This past week I questioned 2013.......what's going on? And I'm not questioning my ordinary day but within a day of everything adding all these losses......left me mind boggled. Two house fires - what are the odds of two families loosing their homes within one week in the same community!? All in our sons class. The suicide rate has escalated in our area, I have heard of four now since December. Fatal illnesses. I know, it's not necessarily my problem but I can not help feeling concerned. I've been thinking about bullying. We have bullying within our school.'s absolutely everywhere. It's something that won't change without ongoing action! What's frustrating me is the lack of communication once again within our schools. As a mother I know nothing. I know every child bullies from time to time. Our children too. We try as parents to educate our children about the importance of what bullying creates within someones self esteem, within their heart. It's just not teasing. That's what we do at home - educate.  At school, I know they have their anti-bullying awareness day. They try and educate throughout the year but I personally don't think it's enough. Every month there needs to be a education day about bullying, teasing, about our feelings. Almost a mandatory support day once a month, so children can release their feelings, their concerns and address the issue constantly. It's something that needs to be repetitive to work. Lately one of our sons is bullied. Bullied to the point he's becoming angry. I fear that when his anger escalates, he could harm someone. The bullier. Apparently the issue was resolved a few weeks back but it has not. I also haven't received the communication that I ask for all the time from our schools. This is where I'm constantly questioning, what will it take for continual education and support regarding bullying that pushes individuals limits to hurt others, and/or to hurt themselves? Suicides and homicides are escalating. This is one topic that should be on the utmost priority for our children's education. I would rather our children learn compassion for others before learning about what happened in world War 2! As a home school mother, I also know about the PLO's and the curriculum our children need to learn for graduation although this is formed through our government of education. It mind boggles me some of the useless curriculum they apparently "need" to learn while I believe their emotions within themselves aren't high on the priority list. It makes absolutely no sense. In order for bullying to minimize, so all children can feel confident as equals - there needs to be a repetitive, structured course added to the education curriculum that is designed strictly around bullying and the damages it creates. Our world is a hard enough place with floods, fires, illnesses and national disasters, we need to look after one another. So as I'm mind boggled this week questioning why........action needs to take place starting with our children at home and within our public schools. Push to add a curriculum based anti-bullying course starting in Kindergarten! Change doesn't happen by just talking about it. Everything has been changed from actions. One of my favorite quotes is, "Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi. Time for change needed to happen years ago............this is where I'm left mind boggled......"It's already been too late for some, when will it change?" We're discussing what our actions will be now.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Everything wonderful

A long weekend doesn't seem long enough. On Saturday my husband took seven of our children to Mt. Washington. They had a blast while I prepared dinner and hot chocolate at home. Hot chocolate around here is done in a pot! Steaming and ready to go!

During our evenings we were having Wii dance parties. Saturday I made homemade Chinese food to celebrate the Chinese New Year!

What was really nice about our weekend was connecting with another adoptive family. Most of our friends are other adoptive families living in different communities. This family is in our community. In one of our conversations, this mother explained that when they told their friends and/or family that they wanted to adopt again, they didn't receive the anticipated excitement. This is where my post is shifting..... Ever since the beginning of our adoption journey, we didn't feel the excitement from others. It was questioned, "Why?" or we were told we were "crazy" When our children finally arrived throughout our years, there wasn't an outside welcoming until we met other adoptive families. There has been times where no one seen our new child/children for several weeks after placement. (Of course this wasn't everybody and there was certain circumstances that someone couldn't visit) There is a difference unfortunately. If someone states their pregnant - there is excitement in the air! Not for adoption and that's sad. Now, what's common for us is, "SO......which ones are yours?" Mmmmm......I usually respond, "What do you mean? They all are" I must be crazy because I didn't realize there was a difference. Legal is legal, birth or adopted, they're all mine. I know what they mean. I also know people don't mean to be ignorant. I do think every child deserves recognition into a new family regardless if they were born into it, or were adopted. It's a piece that's important to feel wanted and important. We didn't have adoption placement parties, we did do our own "gotcha" days. For example, many of our children received their own "Hohnstein" shirts. Of course many new items for their new rooms, including choice of wall colors and decor. If it's not really important for the child, it is for their new adoptive parents to feel supported. Adoption isn't easy. When that day arrives when you're bringing home that child/children, it's not only exciting, it's relieving, it's emotional, it is a new beginning for everyone - a time worth celebrating. Mostly, us adoptive parents understand, we get it. That's why it's so important to have a community of adoptive families to befriend, to support - that understand not only the importance from the date of placement, but to continue to understand after the honeymoon period is over, when life can become more difficult with behaviors. If I speak of our children's behaviors to people that haven't adopted, their response is, "We told you, you were crazy" or "You shouldn't have adopted" Regardless if we're crazy or not - that's not what we need to hear. Another comment that really gets under my skin is, "You're the caregivers" Yes I'm a caregiver. I am their mother. Although if my position was a caregiver without the legal backup as their parent, then I would be A. going home at night and returning in the morning or B. I would be fostering without being their legal guardian and not making any formal decisions for my child. Nor would it be correct for all my children to refer me as their mother. I don't think a family with children that haven't adopted would be asked if they were caregivers or basically forget the asking - being referred as one. Ironically people who you would think that know better, will refer us in that manner. One thing I know for sure, ignorance will never change. Ignorance is just a lack of understanding, so I'm tolerant to it but that's why it's important to develop a support network of family and friends that do understand and want to be on that journey with you and your children. Family day is not a new concept for us but now being a holiday, next year I'm thinking celebrating it with everyone that is a part of our family. That supports who we are......if that's crazy, then Family day will be a memorable one! Most importantly, our children need acceptance, to feel loved and connected. That each and every one of them are special. This includes our/your children having friends to seek support from - adoptive family friends have it all. Different cultures, special needs and similar pasts because I know children that haven't been adopted, they also don't understand and children are mean, influential and can turn something that is everything wonderful into just "care giving" It's so much's family. Happy Family Day everyone......and a family consists of people who love one another and support each other. I thought I had a large family but it's much larger then I thought! I am always grateful for everyone who's supportive for all our differences and accepts us for who we are and where we came from. On Chek 6 news there was a story about adoption through the private agency, Choices. Many children are still waiting for a family, perhaps Family Day will open a door for adoption. The possibilities.........for everything wonderful.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Please help

Please click on the link above to access Chek 6 news, a good family we know in our area lost everything in a devastating house fire. Including their business. The Red Gap Quality Foods in Nanoose Bay has an account set up plus the Royal Bank in Parksville for the Hawleys. Please donate.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Running ahead!

I have a confession. I'm that honest. This time last year I was writing about my fitness. I was doing really well for half the 2012 year. Then I stopped. I will write that I stopped because we were in the middle of an adoption process, we added a sweet little baby boy, there is a transition period. For the past couple of months (or more) my personal goals disappeared. I became focused on homeschooling, therapy appointments, doctors, dentist and eye exams - you name it, daily I was doing it. Well I'm still doing it and will continue too. The past couple of days house-bound feeling semi-lost I realized I wasn't fulfilling what I believe in. I believe everyone should find time for themselves. One hour. I've written this over and over again. I live it and I know it works for establishing our own healthy souls. "Sigh" I slipped......I preached what I know I (we) need and really - I have no excuses. Sure I have 16 children, only 12 I'm actively caring for. (The other 4 are young adults either moved out or attempting too) So I have no excuse to loose my hour a day. So today I snapped out of my feeling of cabin fever, stopped blaming my circumstances and I took two of our sons back up Notch Hill. All the progress I made months prior was somehow taken from my legs, my endurance was halted and I stopped half way up my hill, my heart was racing, I felt like fainting. I just wanted to kick myself in my butt. My timing was less the 30 minutes up and down. Today I needed oxygen! I'm starting over......note to self - don't let yourself start over. It's just punishment. While gasping for air, I looked up and noticed an Eagle, just soaring slowly above me. It was weird....I even looked around for little creatures that the Eagle perhaps was interested in. Then I remembered what the Eagle represents within the First Nations culture. My husband bought me a First Nations Eagle bracelet for my 40th birthday. He chose the bracelet because he thought the Eagle best represented me. "Peace, Honor and Friendship" It's also seen as a symbol of power and prestige. A strong connection to peace. The Eagles message is to defeat your fears and see beyond the horizon. Have faith in your purpose and see how all things, good and bad, fit into the picture of your life. Whether the Eagle was a sign from God, or a message itself - as I was feeling defeated half way up my hill and slightly mad at myself; I pushed on feeling the faith for my purpose. Which is simply living what I preach. Pausing briefly at the top, looking around at what I've missed, I was able to breath that the little grave was still looked after, the trails changed slightly and I felt good. My two sons way ahead of me couldn't understand why I fell behind. Usually they're asking, "When is the run over!?" Instead they were taunting me, yelling....."Mom, you're it!" Like I could play a tag game running up hill today after months of neglect to my fitness. My quote - "Do not stop your goals, it takes that much longer to succeed! From now on......I've learned and my goals are running ahead!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Inner peace

Our weekend was uneventful being that one of our children were sick. Half of us (my other half) and five of our sons went BMX racing with no injuries! I'm never worried about our children getting injured, it's my other half I need to worry about! So as I've been house-bound, something I'm not too fond of, I did do some reading. I was reading an article about our "Inner Peace" and on how to relax during stressful situations. A stressful situation is an individual scenario so of course what's stressful to another, might not be to yourself. I was thinking about what gets me stressed.........of course illnesses with unknown reasons because I like to know the diagnoses to everything. Being house-bound doesn't help because I find my inner peace with nature. That's just my weekend - life really has its stresses especially raising a family. Funny, while I was reading this article it suggested counting your breaths. Actually I do this all the time. Not that I'm stressed all the time but when there's something like an over-bearing argumentative child that refuses to leave the room, I become silent. I breath slowly and deeply in and release. I've called that "sighing" This article called it, "Surviving red-alert emergencies" It works, it brings you to a calming place and releases whatever is lingering within your mind. Basically tricks your body into releasing calming neurohormones. What I like about this technique is while you're "deeply breathing" within yourself regardless in what situation and with whom its really have a sense of inner peace. I was thinking about an incident that happened years ago at the school, a ignorant father came to me with many choice words. The greatest power is silence I find. While this father was barking (stressing) I was just looking at him breathing calmly in and out. When he was done......he was probably suffering from a myocardial infarction. I personally felt I won the "situation" stating nothing. He left frustrated. Life isn't worth it. I promise breathing techniques with silence is the number one inner peace leaving others suffering from chest pain and/or stress induced migraines. A friend of mine started doing face yoga. I never heard of it. Although it makes sense. She's practicing face yoga to diminish or prevent wrinkles. Well......while reading about flexing and release, letting go of tension, I thought about face yoga. Clenching the muscles, stretching out your face by obviously making funny looking facial features, take a deep breath, hold it then release. I can see this relieving tension that builds within your head and temples causing migraines. It would be an interesting experiment doing this in front of your children while they're "barking" about something. (Ha ha) Although this is suppose to be done (I believe) by yourself so you're not looking like a complete loony tune! Further reading into this article I read about taking smoke breaks. Smokers have the right idea! They're taking a break. Stepping out. "Simply walking away from stressors for a few minutes can be one of the best practices for learning to handle daily pressures" - Kim Tranell. Of course this is just an example, you don't have to take up smoking. I tell my husband all the time - walk away - take a break. Everything I read today we already practice except for the face yoga. What will be funny (because I'm like that) is practicing face yoga in front of my kids! My idea other then venting; go for a run, a hike and enjoy something for yourself. Today because I couldn't do neither, I slipped in reading an article - now here I am writing about it. Writing (journaling) is another relaxation for me regardless if I do it well or not. Robbin Sheldon - "I scrapbook or make a card. It takes me to a place where my mind is beautiful. It is my meditation" Many look towards God. I do know there is times where a suitable technique works for that surprised moment where you need a release immediately. If you don't think you can establish inner peace - it can be that animal in your life, that cup of tea - that run outdoors releases tons of endorphins or try face yoga! While writing this post, one of my sons came to me complaining about something - I started stretching out my face. He stopped saying anything, he looked at me slightly weird and walked away. Ba ha ha ha - see techniques work and your inner peace can thrive!
"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset" - St. Francis De Sales.

Bill Gates Speech, "Give it to your kids!"

I saw this post below that is completely true, Bill Gates is one of the most world's wealthiest people. He is an American business magnate and philanthropist. Gates is the former chief executive and current chairman of Microsoft, the world's largest personal-computer software company, which he co-founded with Paul Allen. Love him or hate him, he's completely right below....

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters.. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.