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Sunday, August 30, 2015

A new season (Fall 2015)

I've always struggled with grammar. Now I'm struggling with writing in general. I don't want to be one of those individuals that is stuck in a chapter. For us our medical journey continues with many unknowns. It's a day by day life we are living. We felt cheated while summer ends however as I continue to plan for our future, I feel organized and productive. Which brings me to the question I have been receiving lately...."I don't know how you do it with all the stress you've been under?" In some of my past posts I've always stated that an hour a day for yourself is the best medicine. For me, an hour a day outdoors was 100% rejuvenating. For months (I admit) it's been difficult to find that hour. My stress escalated. My patience is limited. However, I'm not interested in unnecessary drama from others. My stress is controlled by eliminating some stress factors that I can control. My stress is sharing by writing. Being productive. Planning the future while living our life day by day. (If that makes any sense) We're coming into a new season now. I've embraced and welcomed the rain. The fall colors sporadically appearing is beautiful. I'm continually just loving how our world is so amazing. I can be watching the leaves fall from my kitchen window, or when I'm driving I notice how puffy, light and or dark the clouds are, or how blue the sky is. Even the pine needles that are stuck in my outdoor carpet reminds me of fall, a new season. Miraculously my feeling of being cheated disintegrates. We are living! That's how simple it can be. I keep thinking about the Starlings that dance in our skies. Please refer to a 2014 post I wrote on my blog called, "The song bird" 

A new season equals a new chapter. I have been preparing for public school and homeschooling. The rest of 2015 is booking up fast and including planning Christmas! Dec 12th our annual Adoption Christmas Party is on, please mark it on your calendars and spread the word! I will post closer to the date for more information. 

To conclude, we can be bombarded and attacked by stress related situations that aren't under our control. We are allowed to go through our emotions, to own our stress but I'm a true believer our lives are what we make of it. Our pasts are our pasts that do not define us. Our future we hold in our hands. I CAN continue being stuck in that last chapter being grammatically (?) not successful or I can choose to take an English course (ha ha) while embracing those pine needles reminding me that I need to clean up my act and move on into a new season. After the storm passes, it's an individual choice to raise our own sails and continue our life's journey. I always choose to sail and watch for those Starlings.  

 Mahatma Gandhi
"After a storm comes a calm" - Matthew Henry

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Our 2015 Summer Survival Photo Reflection

The beginning, June husband in ICU
Two and a half months later.....still fighting MRSA.

Learned to administer IV Meds, Saline and Picc Flushing from home, discharged for the second time August 7th!
Survived sepsis twice! 
The picture above is a coke plane made by my father in CR. A plane my husband looked at every day waiting for a flight free!

The picture below is our thumbs up! He "We" survived! Homeward bound for the second time!

We celebrated our 16th Anniversary! August 14th! A day (at times) I didn't think was going to be possible!

 During our summer celebrations continued...... 5 birthdays!

 While we were at the hospital, our family and friends set up a pool. The pool was the best summer distraction!

 Our family from up North came.....this is just some of us! We had our annual Red Robin dinner while taking turns visiting Gerald in the hospital. He also had a surprise Red Robin burger, fries and gravy brought to his bedside! 

 My sister went on day hikes with some of our children! This is the top of Mt. Benson! 
 What a view!
 We had a family movie day! It was a success with our two little's that have never been!
 Our son Austin was amazing. His help and support was/is beyond words. In the below picture he's packing our little cow girl!
 We made it! We survived summer 2015!
This summer I didn't have travel adventures and daily fun experiences to share. I couldn't write positive posts. Today I can. I can proudly state that I have an amazing family. I have an amazingly strong husband that continued to fight to live, too come home. Today he's tinkering around blowing up bike tires. He's working on his sons RC cars, changing oil filters so his boys can quad. Their Dad is home!

My husband has a long road to recover. We still have many medical worries BUT he is, we are survivors! 

AND most importantly, through every experience good or bad - I still believe there is a reason. I might not have thought that in our darkest hours, however it brought our family and friends closer together. Truth be told, it usually takes something very life changing to change life.

Again, thank you! I love and appreciate every one! 
I leave this post with this quote, "The earth has music for those who listen" - George Santayana
Get outside, live love and let everything go - forgive! Life is truly to short to waste..... 

Monday, August 10, 2015

Gerald's update

July 28th my husband was discharged from the Victoria hospital. It was one of the most emotional days that we have had in a long time. While walking out of the hospital he smelled the ocean air. Two months totally incarcerated fighting for his life then released still very sick and infected, he was emotionally and physically drained. My husband was so happy to return home to begin his recovery on a home IV outpatient program. Twenty minutes within the car ride he was having hallucinations. I thought at first it was the gravol given but when we arrived home into our driveway he couldn't get out of the car. He didn't know who I was. We called 911. He was in septic shock again. It was devastating.  Our children watched my husband and I leave in an ambulance. It wasn't the reunion every one was waiting for. That evening my husband again was fighting to survive. We found out he had a secondary infection that started, completely different from the MRSA. That night my sister, and my niece stayed with me until 3 am, while we waited, while we cried, we questioned once again, "Why?"  It's been a roller coaster the past few months. Probably a coaster many will not experience, nor would want too BUT to date we have made it. We are home again August 7th. We have a long road ahead of us. My husband has a difficult and challenging recovery to endure with many unknowns. We hope this time he remains at home! 

I'm writing while my husband sleeps. I can't believe it's been so long since I've written last. 

Here's my feelings and thoughts. I am very happy we have come this far. I remain strong and hopeful that one day I will have a healthy husband. Arriving home for the second time was a bitter sweet feeling for me. I'm continually stressed and worried that something is going to happen. Sepsis. Stroke. Heart. Some relapse. Something. I drive my husband daily for his IV treatment through his picc line. Then we will learn the IV treatment at home. This will happen for months, more likely the rest of 2015. Luckily I have many years of first aid, and I have the equipment to check his vitals when needed. 

Our journey has tested and will continue to test our strength, and our abilities to cope through the most traumatic situations. There was more then a few times I thought I was loosing my husband. I would cry into a towel so my children didn't hear me. I screamed in my car yelling, "It's not fair!" My husband for the past few months suffered physically and emotionally. A suffering I've never seen with any one. The stress I have with him relapsing is high. However we have learned to take life day by day and I'm still learning to release all my negative tension and believing everything will be "ok" 

Thank you every one for your support. We really appreciate absolutely everything.