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Saturday, August 6, 2011

Workers in progress




What I'm about to write may offend some young viewers. Basically any teenager. We also have five young adolescents from age thirteen to twenty one. All in which are seeking their own forms of independence. I think for most teens life becomes confusing. Each and every one of us are completely different. When I was a teenager I went through the delinquent stage. For two years my friends were more important then my family, I believed that it should be my way or the highway. I still state to this day that my older daughter saved me. Looking back on those years of "Carrie" gone wild wasn't me. It was like a hormone imbalance with the delusion I was the only person in charge of my life. Absolutely no one was going to stop what I wanted to do. Even my parents. I often like to reflect back to remind me that most teenagers seem to go through the delinquent stage, just the spectrum levels can vary between individuals. Most parents have one or two teenagers that will cause them this grief, although our odds are much higher. I don't believe this means we're horrible parents, in fact I don't believe any parent is horrible because their teenager has decided to venture off on their own. I don't believe the teenager is horrible either. It's a process that just happens and happens differently for every adolescent. I have to write as a Mother it's been difficult balancing being a caring protective parent to letting a teen learn for himself. Really there isn't anything we can do when a teenager starts deciding for themselves. Their perception is what it is and until they figure it out, like I did......it can be a rocky road. I have compassion for the high end spectrum of the delinquent stage (what I call it) because I remember for myself how confusing life really can be. Teenagers are a "work in progress" meaning they're still figuring out who they are. For our adoptive children I can only imagine their confusion, with the confusion, their hormones and any possible special needs that can completely cloud their soul searching vision. I can only try and guide our children, continue to explain that every choice made can effect their future. Their future can be positive, bright and full of potential by believing they can do anything. We are all given a life, most teenagers don't seem to like theirs regardless of their situation. Being "adopted" can be an excuse for teenagers to use although what they're not realizing is, this is a good thing. Adoption. They were one of the lucky children to move out of a temporary situation such as foster care. There is so many children in need of an adoption placement. When I attended a seminar on Permanency for Youth, it made having a family that much more important for me. It saddens me to know that teenagers age out of foster care, are on their own and they don't know where their next Christmas will be. For me, fine.....a young adult can live on their own. (Try it) BUT they will always need a family. These extreme adoptions that sometimes happen, meaning adopting a young adult makes sense. It's not just about their childhood. Extreme adoptions from what I understand is giving a already independent adult a family. So he/she knows where Christmas will be every year. Where any celebration, injury or support can be called upon. Even visiting a familiar face without question. I know for our teenagers there will be different situations, different levels on the delinquent spectrum and definitely so. I do understand but I will always as their Mother remind them about how their choices can impact their life. That, I believe is a caring parent dealing with their little workers in progress. Hopefully like I did, like most individuals, those hard confusing teenager years become learned lessons that they can preach with their own children. Until then I can only have faith that most of our children will get through the adolescent years without a huge hitch pulling them down an unclear path.

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