A book I've been reading that Adoptive parents should read is, "Twenty things Adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew" by Sherrie Eldridge. The twenty two chapters include;
1. Hidden losses
2. Entering your child's world
3. I suffered a profound loss before I was adopted. You are not responsible.
4. I need to be taught I have special needs arising from adoption loss, of which I need not be ashamed
5. If I don't grieve my loss, my ability to receive love from you and others will be hindered
6. My unresolved grief may surface in anger toward you
7. I need your help in grieving my loss. Teach me how to get in touch with my feelings about my adoption and then validate them.
8. Just because I don't talk about my birth family doesn't mean I don't think about them.
9. I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family
10. I need to know the truth about my conception, birth, and family history, no matter how the details may be
11. "I am afraid I was given away" by my birth Mother because I was a bad baby. I need you to dump my toxic shame.
12. "I am afraid you will abandon me"
13. I may appear more whole than I actually am. I need your help to uncover parts of myself that I keep hidden so I can integrate ALL the elements of my identity.
14. I need to gain a sense of personal power.
15. Please don't say I look or act just like you. I need you to acknowledge and celebrate our differences
16. Let me be my own person....but DON'T LET ME CUT MYSELF OFF FROM YOU.
17. Please respect my privacy regarding my adoption. Don't tell other people without my consent.
18. Birthdays may be difficult for me.
19. Not knowing my full medical history can be distressing at times
20. I am afraid I will be too much for you to handle
21. When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me and respond wisely 22. Even if I decide to search for my birth family, I will always want you to be my parents.
It's a book to buy located online or at Chapters, or reserved through Chapters.