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Sunday, August 28, 2011

"OK - I am selfish"

"Yawn" I always write when I'm tired. I wonder if my grammar would improve if I wrote during the afternoon? Actually that would be impossible but a nice thought. (not about my grammar but writing in the afternoon) I'm finding that when I awake, I blink a few times and the day is over! Today seemed to be one of those days. I packed a picnic and off we went swimming. The time we were home, I was bathing seven children, making dinner and finishing laundry all before 8pm! 8pm is my magical time of feeling the aching pain of my feet while being lifted off the floor. Believe it or not, from 7am to 8pm I'm on my feet. I'm not complaining. I'm the type where I can't sit down. What is nice is when I sit down to cuddle with some of our children, I get much joy out of being wanted. I know, slightly selfish. That's what this post is about. I love the interaction with my children. No offence to my husband but I would feel lonely without my children. I love the nights where my oldest and second oldest daughter's would join me on my bed to watch a movie, or watch Grey's Anatomy. All our other children would be sleeping and us older girls would make gourmet popcorn or nachos and just hang out in my bedroom together. We would giggle, talk and just be together. My bedroom seems to be the "room" Fall is coming and I'm looking forward to these evenings with our teenagers and younger adults. We even set the stage with candles. Yes, above I took a picture of a leaf. We have earlier darker evenings and the leaves are falling. Surprisingly I'm "Ok" with this. Believe it or not, our summer has changed drastically in so many ways that I'm ready to move on........back to me being selfish.......I look forward to movie nights at the theatre with our children. We take turns. I usually go with my second oldest daughter to all the sappy love movies including the Twilight series. It's a ritual we do at least once a month! I love my children and what makes me feel happiest is when they want to be with me. For back to school I've been taking two or three children at a time shopping. So it's closer to one on one. It's been fun. It's several trips but when you have a large family and you mix up your bunch from time to time, it's interestingly different. What's really funny when I go grocery shopping with five children, I will have someone always comment on how many children I have. Five children! For me, I would have to think about the past because five children now is nothing! We have all ages in our family, currently, 3,4,5,6,8,11,11,11,11,13,16,17,18,21. Basically looking at our numbers we have three sections of teenagers. Mmmmmm...... (Ha ha) I think we can do this! We are currently learning from our first batch! No kidding aside, we have lots of love here and I'm selfishly soaking it in. With one of my eleven year old daughters every night we play a game, I kiss her, she kisses me, I love her more, she loves me more more and so on. These little moments makes every day worth any struggle. My littlest daughter, she loves cuddling. She has this little moan and I know it's one of those love moans. Again, it makes my life complete. Our children have been giving me what I need most, all these little moments of "Mom" time. That I'm worth while. And selfishly this is what I need.

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