The other night I went out to the movies with a friend. Once or twice a month I will attend a movie. It's a great way for my brain to relax. This particular friend isn't a adoptive parent. She has two beautiful children and a wonderful husband. I met her in our community through the Elementary school approximately 4-5 years ago when one of our sons was in kindergarten. I write about how supportive our adoption family friends are. They understand us, our adoptions, our challenges and us as a group of adoptive parents support and acknowledge all our differences. It's a great network. Although - there is a few individuals that haven't adopted, that aren't adopting that support, understand and are compassionate towards our family. (I can name a few) With this particular friend described above she really touched my heart. I'm not one to outwardly present physical emotion although inside I teared. Before our movie we went for coffee where she handed me a very thoughtful gift. I won't get into great detail although the gift represented a passion of mine. A place I've frequently written about in the past, a place that I helped support with years of fundraising, a place I've not only learned some of their delicious dishes of simplistic foods to cook, a place where I learned enough to communicate with their language. Over a decade now I've been dreaming about traveling over to Nepal. Experiencing their culture and trekking through the Himalayas. Seems a bit far-fetched now that I'm raising a big family with several special needs right? My dream could have been accomplished by now, my life could have been completely different but my husband and I have sacrificed everything for our family. We've lost friends, there is distance between family members and we're judged upon almost daily. Our life can be challenging. With writing this, again as I've written before, we wouldn't want it any other way. Judgements used to bother me, now I accept them. A day not walked in our shoes is not worth any judgements to me, so I basically take anything like a grain of salt that slips in between my fingers and disappears into thin air. I've also learned to have compassion for ignorance because what we don't know or understand creates that judgement in the first place. So getting back on topic, my friend handing me this gift of sentimental handmade items from Nepal touched my heart. What was more sentimental then the items was her message. Not only has this friend shown support, understanding. compassion and not one judgemental remark towards our family.....she has shown support as a true friend towards me with my interests and my dreams. Reminding me through her thoughtfulness to keep my dreams, and that dreams do come true. My dreams to visit Nepal right now do seem far away but not unrealistic for my future. Having a supportive husband and family also paints a brighter light. Who knows what the future holds, I do know within mine as an individual, I do have dreams too that could come true. The trick is not loosing sight of it. Us as parents regardless if we have twenty or two children, we need to keep some focus on ourselves. Whatever it is........wherever it may be.......and when - keep it alive and until then, continue to practice an hour a day on you. I would like to take this opportunity to not only thank this friend but if she's reading, to know the impact of her words, not only has she re-inspired me, I witnessed a true friend.
"A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably without judgements" - William Penn.
Believe it or not, there was a time I thought there was no hope for true friendship. Friends that you can trust, to believe they're your friend whole heartily. I was wrong to ever think there was no hope - I am truly blessed with a handful of true friends that carry all the attributes of realism. So not only do I feel support without judgements, understanding with compassion, reminders to be me and follow my dreams - I feel a sense of relief knowing there is true friends. Dhanyawad (Thank you) for that little piece of magic.......to start our holiday season.