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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Chances are higher

We've been fairly busy with different specialist appointments. When you have as many children as we do....the chances are higher for some medical situations. In fact we have heart, lung and kidney medical concerns with three of our children. Plus a Neurologist. One of our daughters is followed by a cardiologist every two years, our one son has had several spontaneous pneumothoraces resulting in lung surgery. We have another son being tested because one of his kidneys stopped growing and is no longer functioning. With these tests, they're also testing the functioning one. I feel I've seen everything when I worked in a first aid room and I was also mentally strong coping with any scenario. When it's your own children, it's a completely different story. When my teenage son teared with burning pain from chest tubes, I had to leave his bedside to strengthen my composure. Every time he would come to me frightened saying, "Mom I think it's happened again" I would ask him his symptoms and sure enough, we packed knowing we wouldn't return from the hospital for days as my heart sunk. Our daughter had blood shot eyes from physical pain after nine attempts inserting a catheter for a simple urine collection with no sedation. We have had several experiences with the hospital throughout our twenty two years of raising children. You would think it would get easier. Today there was four attempts for an IV in one of our sons. During the fourth try I was begging inside my own mind for it to work. "Please....." I feel I have no control. Although today, I knew if the fourth attempt didn't accept, I would be stopping the process very quickly by demanding a new nurse or referring us over to the Children's Hospital. Yes tests are necessary but not by amateurs on my children. (Or on their behalf, two tries and switch nurses) For this particular son we are waiting for his results, the conclusion onto what's next is still unknown. There has been talk about a Nephrectomy, a removal of his non-functioning kidney in his future. What the future holds......I don't know for any of us. I try not to worry about what I can't control and take one day at a time. Knowing that everything usually works out in the end. I trust that. It's the in between time witnessing your children endure the pain and suffering that you can't control. It's a very helpless feeling as a Mother. My husband can't attend tests and procedures that involve needles, or the sight of blood because he will pass out. So it's me. I'm pretty tough and became thick skinned long ago. What's really amazing is how resilient children are. Our son today after the four attempts for the IV was a trooper. For the test itself (seen above) he remained still for over 45 minutes! Afterwords, I treated him out for a nice meal and his shirt was full of stickers for a job well done. Our futures are unknown, our days can change instantly and our bodies are not machines. Every scenario that has happened, that will happen is not only a challenge in a sense emotionally, it is everything to do with experience, teaching us (teaching even me after twenty two years) on how to deal with our own emotions. Today is over while only reflecting back - I feel not only a sense of relief that it's over, I feel very proud on how our day was handled. How our son was so brave. Which leaves me knowing we have the power within ourselves to overcome most and the rest that we have troubles with, we have to have faith that with time we will. To conclude, many times I complain about our world's technology. I get very frustrated with computers, Ipads and phones. Today witnessing the medical technology was once again amazing; the imaging into our bodies. I said to myself, "I will try not to complain about our technology ever again!" It saves reminder for the day.

"We acquire the strength we have overcome" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

1 comment:

  1. grandma and grandpaNovember 22, 2012 at 8:40 PM

    wish i could have been with you today and held your hand for that little support that you may have needed. what a brave little boy you have there.