"Reflection and welcoming 2012!"

As the night begins and ends with music, games, different activities served along with cheesecake we are rejoicing. Celebrating the end of 2011 and completely welcoming 2012! As our family reminisces the past twelve months there was three Camp Homewoods in January, March and November. Sixteen birthdays not including extended family. Last January we struggled with our kitchen fridge! I was summoned to appear in court as a witness to end the lives of an owners dogs. I will never forget Christmas 2011 when we were trapped in a 600 sq ft condo during a blizzard for four days, loosing all our keys and developing a rash from a contaminated hot-tub from feces! Throughout the year I enjoyed several short hikes in different spots along the West Coast trail. We had two (plural) pneumothoraces within six months time for our second oldest son resulting in lung surgery, then my husband battled an infection for four weeks on a IV. I attended the Permanency Planning for Youth and several different FASD workshops. We had our annual Easter adoption potluck and our Christmas Adoption Party! We also had a fundraiser event for MS (Multiple Sclerosis) a 10 km run with our team "Why not?" Some of us attended the Carrie Underwood concert in Vancouver......and we spent Canada Day at the BC Forest Discovery Centre followed by dinner at our friends house. Throughout our summer we camped, we swam, we boated, go-carted and quaded. We drove around going on multiple day trips like gypsies. In 2011 we met birth family members. We finished our home and started on our property! I've been to the States and stayed on Malcolm Island with some of our children. We visited family and friends all across the Island...........My husband and I went on a "date" Remember us sitting like dogs at the kitchen table!? We also adopted a four year old girl shitzu in August after loosing our dog Kong at the beginning of May. AND in May 2011 we had two of our new children placed with us! It's been a incredible memorable year and this was just a glimpse! The last day of 2011 consisted in enjoying the sun and making a great meal followed by cheese cake. The evening was black except for a colored disco ball twirling in our living room while everyone danced to techno music. What was really cool, our littlest daughter was dancing up a storm with Daddy! She might not be-able to walk right now but she has rhythm and she loves a great party! I don't know what 2012 entails, I do know we have everything and anything we need. I don't have a resolution. I do feel that 2012 is a year of fitness and health with smaller steps. My husband and I have decided to take more time for ourselves, together and independently while making more memories for our family. My wish for other parents is to remember we're all individuals, we all give our 99% to our family and sometimes at least once a month - give that other percent to yourself. I've realized while mothering so many children that if I don't take the time for me, that other 99% feels like 150%. It can be work. SO my last thought of 2011 is start taking time for yourself. Which concludes my year and starts 2012 yes a bit selfishly. I'm taking my percent and I'm going to use it wisely! For everyone that shared 2011 with our family, perhaps personally with me - thank you. I appreciate everyone in our life, who understands, supports and doesn't judge us for being slightly society different. I am grateful; honored in so many ways, and most importantly I recognize everyone that has been directly or indirectly involved in our life. May your 2012 be full of positive solutions, brighter days and forever memories. With love...........Carrie and "Happy New Year!"

Locks of love

It's two of our girls hair! They've been bugging us for haircuts for the longest of time. I struggle every morning brushing their hair. Finally today I said, "Let's do it" BUT for a cause, "Locks of love" Locks of love is a non-profit organization that provides hair pieces for children who are suffering from long term hair loss from a medical diagnoses. Our daughters' hair was long enough to donate. Ten inches from tip to tip is the minimum length to donate needed for a hair piece. We had exactly ten inches from both our girls! There is some guidelines, so if anyone is interested please research before chopping it all off! It needs to be braided or either in a pony tail before being cut. The hair needs to be clean and dry before sending it in. They don't accept processed hair. I'm a mother that loves long hair on our girls, I especially believe that girls with special needs deserve the beautiful length regardless on how hard it is to maintain. So when I found out that they both had ten inches to donate, I thought YES lets do it! They were so happy, they feel so good and refreshed. They love their new hair-cuts and believe it or not, so do I! It's SO cute and both their hair cuts suit them. AND it's not even short! Locks of love make wigs for children that have cancer and alopecia areata (children who never grow hair) Usually these children aren't charged for the wigs especially made for them. You know.......we go throughout our days not even thinking about our world, and there is so many different life changing elements we could provide for another. I am so proud of our girls. Before their hair cut, I explained the only reason you're getting a hair cut is to put a smile on another little girls face. Not only are they happy, they are explaining their hair is making a wig for a little girl.............and are happy for that! They've been looking in the mirror, moving their head around and this is a time to celebrate because they've made a difference in the life of a sick child. Building confidence when someone is ill; I believe is really important, it gives hope and that emotional power to fight. I have a friend that suffers from alopecia, where she lost all her hair due to extreme stress. The need is higher then we all believe. When I was doing some research, I found out that it takes 12 donations of ten inches each and it costs about $1200.00 to craft a hand sewn wig! SO to end 2011 and to start a New Year we've sent in Locks of love! AND again......I'm very proud of our girls!

"That place"

We've been in the process of cleaning. Once again after finishing all my laundry I found my two fluffy dogs! Many of our children struggle with the concept of cleaning. I feel that I'm constantly on them about one toy or activity at a time. That way it's easier to clean and put away. Their type of cleaning is pushing under the bed or piling on their dresser while their cupboards remain with free space. Organization is hard to teach! In fact, I'm starting to wonder if that organization is a born skill and not learned! I remember when I was a child, all my animals and dolls were placed face up in a row - around here most of the dolls are face down kicking each other in a doll pile! So that's a dilemma in some of their rooms - piling, stuffing and hiding is "cleaning" With all the mounds of toys, they don't even know what they have and if they do......they don't know where it is! SO project 200 for me is starting one BIG pile. This is when their Mother will weave through and tackle organizing their things while they help. I've done this before with not much success because if some of our children can't get dressed appropriately in the morning, how on earth would they manage to keep an organization routine in their room!? I'm truly a believer in picking and choosing battles but if they can't keep a room clean and organized, I fear their home will be disastrous in the future. (Or our home) SO I've been thinking again about ideas on how to solve the potential hoarding future I see developing with some of our children. If not signs, picture cues in every space provided for their items. That way dolls will be placed together! We do have a house rule that if they've brought out a toy to play with, they have to bring it back to their room or it's taken away. This has been successful. Now it's about their rooms. Organizing. I have another idea.....which is rotating their toys. Meaning taking some away for a period of time, rotate occasionally. That way they have less to clean up and their toys are always new. OR trade toys with another family like we do clothing. Another task for me is going through every dresser - if I didn't, some of our children will put on sizes too small regardless how it feels or what it looks like! Like fitness, it feels good to clean and organize! I just need our children to feel the same way! I can multitask and I'm extremely organized but I read if you're struggling getting things accomplished, try a timer. That way you're beating the clock to get things done! I thought this was an excellent idea to try with our children. I find that I'm constantly asking them to put this and that away, or "clean" their rooms - adding a timer sounds like an idea to try. Although I think the timer would need the digital visual, so they know time is actually moving - so they move! I'm always on a mission for the ultimate idea that works. Today was one of those deep in thought days. For me, I like my surroundings clean and organized. Including places no one sees, like closets, cupboards and even our fridge. Everything has a place to be. I think the first step is teaching our children "that place" for that item by picture cues and repetition. The trick, don't have too many items! I might sound anal although this isn't necessarily for me, this is for our children to develop these skills (hopefully) for their future. I can see life being very overwhelming if they're consumed by a mess!

It's been busy!

Over ten hours of wrapping through-out the week, Christmas Eve came together around our Christmas tree at 1:30am! During Christmas Eve we played pass the present and it was successful! (no one cried) The game consists of taking a present from someone else if they want it, three times around you are left with what you're holding. I had Dora's bubble bath that I'm using for our littlest daughter. Christmas morning started at 8am. All our children found their "spot" to sit while opening their stockings, then I continued handing out their presents one by one. It's nice to enjoy the morning and to see every ones reactions. It took approximately two hours to finish unwrapping! (12 hours to wrap - 2 to unwrap) Christmas day for my husband was building toys and collecting garbage. For myself it was cooking and cleaning. I will admit it was work all day long.......we had a total of 26 people here. Mostly family and some boyfriends and girlfriends of older children. The next day we had some birth family over while serving different platters with turkey buns. They enjoyed playing puzzles at our kitchen table with some of our children. Then we had a huge platter night with some of our friends. I made a comment that we needed to invite more people with the amount of food we had! Today is the 28th, we're taking down our Christmas decorations. I love Christmas but I'm having a change in heart, a change in what my favorite season is. I've been already contemplating about changing next years Christmas to something completely different, to where my husband and I aren't swamped by materials, by food. (I will let you know next year!) My favorite season?  It's summer. One fact about our family and friends, we don't need an "occasion" to get together. We just do all throughout the year. Today I awoke and accomplished 1170 stairs outside next to the ocean. 117 steps x 10 this morning! A beginning back into my healthier lifestyle I once lost. I feel rejuvenated and ready to tackle my neglected laundry! New Years for us will be quiet at home celebrating being together, entering another New Year of successes, my last year of my thirties! My oldest daughter and her boyfriend gave my husband and I a gift certificate to the Keg, an evening out on my 39th birthday (coming) which includes them babysitting! Time to celebrate and develop more plans for making memories in 2012! Now - dancing with laundry!

All I Want For Christmas is You - 7 yr old Rhema Marvanne..Truly Amazing...

My sweet child

Tonight we're watching "Little house on the Prairie" Christmas in Plum Creek. Little house on the Prairie is a favorite of mine. Actually I know this year under the Christmas tree for me from my husband is the complete collection. (I know because I purchased it!) It's one of those television series that touches the heart. (My heart) Meaningful with lessons to learn. Tonight while some of our children were watching, they were glued. I love Little house on the Prairie! While snowed in completely with minimal needs it's a very Merry Christmas in Plum Creek! The whole collection is selling for $100.00 that's including taxes but it's worth every penny. The whole horse n buggy, the thoughtfulness, the lessons, the whole series is inspiring to me. My step-father (father) loves Little house in the Prairie too and I've decided that it's the best gift for him. So he will also have the collection on Christmas Day. It's a gift that keeps on giving. If you're stuck for gifts, think about - The series of "Little house on the Prairie"

We've had a indifferent week, not one I want to write on......mainly medical, mostly emotional. Christmas for us is about life.....I am many things with many beliefs accordingly to our world. (spiritual) For most, Christmas is the belief that marks the birth of Jesus, the son of God. Buddhists celebrate, meaning giving kindness, love and peace to all man kind. Christmas has reasons to celebrate. None of us is different from the other...........the only difference is our walks in life and circumstances.

My sweet child I tear for, I laugh with.....and I love
my only wish is for health and happiness
I won't be here forever....
therefore;
I give my whole heart and life in hopes....
that your future is bright and not so fearful
with courage and confidence.....success and triumphs...
I wish and pray that in every New Year is successful.

Love your Mommy - and that's for all fourteen of you!

Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays.............

A little of this & that while staying "Positive!"

The big day is getting close and we're ready! In fact beyond ready. Our children are extremely excited. Beyond excited! I will admit we have some escalated behaviors. There is no warnings around here, it's straight to time-outs. For the past couple of days our littlest daughter has been sick with a fever. I thought it was hard before maintaining food intake, this week it's been a challenge. With her special needs it's been also a struggle consoling her. (Very, very cranky) Last night was a long, long, long night of no sleep. I contemplated at three am staying up baking.........today is looking brighter. We have different platter nights booked with several family friends that we're looking forward too. I'm hoping we'll be able to play some board games without any incidents. Every time our children get together with other children it always goes very well. I'm looking forward to the company with yummy platters set out all over the place! We're going to start a couple different traditions this Christmas Eve and I'm getting excited to see how our children will react! Come Christmas afternoon for the first time in a very long time my Father and Mother (his wife) will be joining us. My sister's family is coming and with a new baby on the way! 2012 I'm a Great Aunt! I can't wait to purchase a few items for the upcoming baby shower! We have some birth family coming......it's going to be BUSY until the 27th! New Years Eve is being discussed. New Years Day we're taking the plunge into the ocean! Then I'm turning 39! This is my motivation year before the big 40! I want to get back into my exercising with the help of my dedicated boot camp sister! I have one year to become a fit 40 year old.......this isn't a resolution nor a dream, it's a factual goal of mine that I can accomplish because before I came too busy (excuse) I was running and going to the gym. Time for something for myself. My health and happiness. Then I'm off to Edmonton to see my lovely sister in law! 2012 I believe will be a great year. One reason is because I have my mind set in positive mode. More camping, more experiencing and more of making memories are on their way! If I haven't written it already, "Happy Holidays" everyone and may you be filled full of positive spirit for your New Year!

Adoption Christmas Party!

Wow! The Adoptive Christmas party was a huge success. It was the biggest one yet! There was over twenty families! "I believe" everyone had a great time. Unfortunately I have a hard time sitting down visiting, I feel that I need to make sure everything is running accordingly so sitting for me isn't an option. So if I missed visiting with anyone, I do apologise for that! I would like to take this opportunity to thank a few people. First off, AFABC (Adoption Federation Association of BC) for supplying the funding for the hall. I extremely appreciate this. I also have some families that really help make occasions like this successful. This would be Dianne Dunbar, Cathy Gilbert, Bonnie and George Hoeft and Debbie and Shawn Carlow for helping and making each and every event awesome! My husband worked really hard before and after the party. I'm thankful for him too! Another source of support that helps with prizes and food is the Co-op company and its distributors that has suggested in supporting future adoption events. The Christmas party was fun for all which included face painting, manicures, a craft table, dancing to wii dance projected on the hall wall, a surprise visitor (Santa) and tons of great food! The manicure table seemed to be a great hit, "Thank you" to the beautiful girl who dedicated her time painting nails! One of our daughters loves her nails! We would like to continue with the Christmas and Easter parties annually located at the same place. So keep connected and stay tuned for the next spring party! For our family we really enjoy building our adoptive community. We see within our children how important it is to have and attend events to keep their friendships alive. Not only is it friendships, it's a connection of support for everyone. Most of our children know they've been adopted. Events shows they're not the only ones - that they aren't any different and there is many children like themselves either through adoption or special needs. This makes a sense of normalcy. For me adoption not only brought me a big wonderful family, it brought me friends from other adoptive families that I really love. I feel so blessed to have met and befriended the families we have. Besides hosting events for relationships and support for our children, I can say I also selfishly do it for myself too. I just love our community built through adoption. I wasn't able to show much appreciation during the Christmas party but I'm definitely filled with it for everyone that help make it successful and the families that come and take part. Families that travelled from across the Island in either direction to attend is amazing. It shows how important it is to continue with adoption related events. My Father and Mother attended from an hour and a half away. I don't say this enough.......it's so important for our children to have family. (It's important for me) But when our children see their Grandparents attending (supporting) their little faces light up with big smiles. Last night was special. Our oldest daughter and her boyfriend attended. Our oldest son attended. It was a great start to our holiday season! So "Thank you" very much to everyone! You're all amazing and Happy Holidays!

"Sure is quiet"

We are ready for Christmas except for the wrapping! Just a minor detail that will take hours! I'm really excited that school is finally over for the holidays. I can't express that enough. I was grocery shopping today and a quietness occurred while waiting in several long lineups. You know how people will just look at you, throw a smile while waiting to pay for their items. It was very busy but while I stood there it was interestingly quiet. I even made a comment to the lady ahead of me, "Sure is quiet" She looked at me like I was an alien from another planet. I started questioning myself, "It must be me?" In fact it is me. Of course a grocery store such as Costco and Superstore isn't quiet, especially one week before Christmas on a Friday! I stood in lineups today in my own little world. My world is very quiet. I have the ability to tune out noise, action and different scenarios going on. My husband constantly questions me on how I do it!? I explain to him that it's the same idea as not jumping onto someones boat when they're arguing. It's not ignoring but almost a blank slate like a 747 jet, it's a peace of mind. Something I can have at any time if I choose too. Although today for the first time I didn't recognize I was doing it and that's why I commented to the lady, "Sure is quiet" when the store was completely packed full of noisy people. My lineup experiences today (to me) was so peaceful. I didn't even notice how long I was standing there. I know what it is with me.....I have "inner peace" It doesn't matter what the world is doing around me, or perhaps how chaotic it gets.....I have the understanding to keep myself strong during stress and I'm spiritually at peace within myself. To explain this to anyone, or on my blog, or to my husband I must sound like that alien but I caught myself having it today without thought. Most people would call this "spaced out" lol  Not exactly. I was completely not wanting to shop at all, I was definitely making miles quickly with my squished crinkled list times two, I knew exactly what I was doing, where I was going but in my own mind it was quiet. What is interesting was I questioned reality (the noise) to my own state of harmony. (Of course I sound like an alien) If anyone is confused on what I'm writing about, for example; with our littlest daughter - if we say, "No" She closes her eyes. This in her mind is saying, "I can't see you therefore that "no" you just said doesn't exist either!" You can actually train yourself to have inner peace, silence when it's noisy or not jumping on that boat. I'm not 100% there because sometimes I need to jump onto the boat.....then I'm on a ride that perhaps I didn't want.......realizing next time don't jump. It's all about learning on how to deal with anything and our choices and our reactions always define the outcomes. Like today, I didn't want to shop but within myself I made it peaceful and quiet. It's too bad the lady in front of me didn't feel it too. Believe me, if you put your mind to it....."Sure is quiet" is a reality like anything you put your mind towards...........it's all up to you!

It's about all of us

Can you see our friendly fur-friends in my pile of laundry? This is a test! Actually today was very productive. That pile of laundry went away to it's necessary places while my youngest daughter and son danced to music! Laundry can be a party! Then I had the crock pot going with a home-made sweet and sour sauce over chicken. I also made a yummy left over lunch consisting of cubed potatoes, hamburger, sausages with gravy poured over top. (I didn't eat it) But my husband loved it! My Christmas list is almost finished and I'm ready to start some baking! In the meantime, remember this Saturday is our Adoption Christmas Party, if you haven't emailed already - now is the time for details! If you haven't met me, I will be the one wearing some weird Christmas clothing but I won't spoil my attire writing about it. Just tell your children not to touch me! (ha ha) SO you have to come or you'll miss out! Last night I went to see "New Years Eve" at the movies. I really enjoyed this movie. The cast is full of different celebrities. It's a movie I recommend for anyone. I left feeling full of love with reminders about what life is really about. It's about all of us. I could complain about the piles of laundry I receive daily but it's about how we deal with it. Laundry around here is about dancing and adding your children, your animals to the piles, it's no longer a chore. I also feel really good when I'm accomplishing a lot. (Our time shouldn't be wasted) Most importantly our time together should be cherished, it should be designed for a positive outcome after our day is over. My husband keeps asking me, "How can you remain so peaceful all the time?" Honestly, if things are getting "hairy" I become quiet, I usually internalize and think about the situation. IF it's really bothersome, yes I cry........but every day I get up starting a new day with only positive thoughts and realizing that it's not just about me, it's about all of us. My mission is to make memories, to stay positive, to hopefully make a difference and with that, develop a better future for our children. This is why it works for me having so many children; I have many to focus on. This is my path. Not only is our time important for our family, it is important for everyone we care about. I always believe if you're too busy, multitask and make a phone call to someone you're thinking about because it's important to not only yourself, to that person. I always think that I'm no exception that this could be my last day, as we never know our fate. I would really be upset leaving this world knowing that I didn't call, I didn't say, "I love you" That I just complained about my laundry instead of dancing. So this little short mixed up post is about yes, again - all of us. It's raining, thank you God......we need the water in our well and what's given to us such as precipitation is a miracle in itself! Now with thoughts of others, I'm picking up my phone to call a friend I dearly love. I hope your days are filled with constant reminders on why we're here, why life is what it is, why we are learning through trial and errors and most importantly staying positive and in love with it.

Bethlehem experience

We attended the Bethlehem Walk and we patiently waited in line for one hour! I took seven of our boys to this event that takes place in our community. Every year it grows by the thousands! My sons were very good waiting. I thought to myself that this was going to be "Ok" There was hundreds of people. It can definitely be very overwhelming for some. After one hour we were almost inside and my littlest son tripped on the cement curb. Blood everywhere. He landed right on his little nose, his lips and chin. Thank goodness his teeth were completely untouched. Poor little guy waited so patiently and suddenly with the quickest of slips, off he went! After cleaning him, we carried on through the Bethlehem village. It was amazing. If you haven't been and you can wait in long lineups it's worth attending. It has the feel of being in the streets of Bethlehem with street vendors, people calling out, real animals and as the picture above, real hanging meat! I can't explain enough on how real the city is.......one of my sons asked, "What happened to that chicken?" If you look closely on the table above, there is a real dead chicken. The meat vendor explained that's where the chicken meat comes from - the chicken. Which raised my eyebrows thinking, "mmmmm.... so my son isn't making the connection from the chicken on his plate to the feathered bird on the table" (This isn't one of my younger sons either) We carried on walking through the village, petting a donkey, watching some cows sleep, bumping into numerous people. I'm gathering Bethlehem was crowded in the streets. Very claustrophobic. Here I was with seven of my sons experiencing some history, I had two of our younger sons clenched to my side and another two following closely. I feared loosing someone......that's how crowded it was. While leaving Bethlehem we walked into the church hall where it was beautifully decorated. We were seated to have some hot chocolate and cookies while a choir was singing. The eight of us sat together quietly surprisingly for awhile. This was two and a half hours later, one hour past four of my sons bedtimes. The silence except for the choir singing and the beautiful atmosphere came to a sudden halt! A high pitched screaming continuous cry started from one of my sons over spilled hot chocolate. That was it.......we were done. We made our "grand" entrance in and now we were making one out. :) Believe it or not......I kept my patience, I enjoyed and really took in our experience. We came home and I put some healing cream on our sons face, tucked everyone into bed and I'm now ready to conquer another day that counts down to Christmas.

Proud of my snakes, tongues & black eyes glued by my husband!

We don't know what we really look like until we get into a family picture. We are so used to our numbers that we're not fazed by our size. Going about our day is very "normal" for us. We took ten of our children to the park. My husband pointed out that if all our children were together (including adult children) we'd take over the swing set! So here we are, above is our family portrait to end 2011! (Ha ha) Except I'm taking the picture! For us to explain on how we function as a large family, we just do - we are used to our life. While down at the park, I was watching my husband interact with seven of our boys. They played for hours on this one board made for a low bench. Something we would have at home. It was a game where they would take turns trying to get someone off, the last boy standing wins. I believe they called it a "Chicken fight" It was really funny to watch. While watching not only did I have some great laughs, I thought to myself, "What a great Dad" My husband interacts with our children daily, plays with them, reads them stories and mostly he's having fun doing it. I have the full package. A hard working man of all trades and a family man who'll stop at nothing for his children. Our relationship together can be comical but mostly we also have the understanding that we're both individuals with different interests. We support each other. So when I'm away for a weekend doing first aid, hiking or a traveling experience somewhere, he's happy knowing that I'm still me. While I support him working on his race car for the next season. His garage is his solitude. Our oldest daughter is now living with her boyfriend and I always state; keep your independence. Let your boyfriend keep his. This is what keeps a relationship together. (Control will ruin any relationship) Jealousy will be your worst enemy. My husband and I don't have jealousy in our relationship. I really love my relationship with my husband. In 1997 when we first moved in together, our first "vow" was to keep our independence. Fourteen years later this still remains true. An important piece I believe to establish in any ones relationship. We might be married but we have two different personal focuses or goals for ourselves. Then our family unit bonds us together forever. As you know I'm a deep thinker; so while at the park witnessing my husband with our children, reflecting on our life as a whole, I was feeling very honored to be the wife and mother of my family. I love moments like these.......and when I'm the one taking the picture looking in, no matter what it resembles,(Snakes, tongues, black eyes, arms flailing as the picture above) I'm proud on what I see. We're not perfect, I wouldn't want it any other way and my husband is definitely our glue!

"There is some people that instantly make me smile"

Tonight we attended a First Nations Christmas Celebration dinner that was hosted through our District. We nestled at the back sliding two 8 chaired tables together. A really nice surprise was one of our previous foster family's was there, a family that is now titled Grandma and Grandpa. They still foster a little boy that our now daughter used to live with, he's also still up for adoption. When we can (normally only illnesses keep us away) we attend different First Nation events and ceremonies. The dinner tonight was more special then just any other event because everyone who supports our children were there. It's a community coming together. When we first starting adopting, we sought out our local liaison workers. Two workers especially have touched our family's heart. One worker that is currently involved with our children made us a drum with all our names on it last year. A drum that has significant meaning and has become a very sentimental gift. This First Nation's Liaison worker isn't just attending a career position, she truly loves and shows compassion for our family. In a previous post I was writing about our adoption worker, as her - there is some individuals that really put their heart into peoples lives and for me raising so many children, I notice who stands out. Normally I come across very quiet, calm and silently drawn to just my family but I'm paying attention to our surroundings, to whom I feel is important - those people usually puts an instant smile on my face. This is what our liaison worker does for me, makes me smile. Just a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out. Most importantly our children love her. She shared with me that our thirteen year old son stopped her in the hallway and asked, "Can you teach me your language?" She asked him, "Yes, why?" He responded saying, "So I can talk to my mom and she wouldn't know what I was saying!" I laughed telling her, "Teach him words of love!" If I had more time, I would have explained to her that for our son to show interest is pretty significant and that in itself shows what a wonderful job she does showing our children she cares. Because I remember a time years ago where our son wouldn't even respond being spoken too, now he is openly seeking people he trusts, who shows him he's important. It's nice to witness. After dinner my husband left early with half of our children. (Some need more sleep then others) I followed later. It was a great night with drumming songs, dance performances, door prizes, raffles, gifts and a salmon, caesar salad, lasagna and hot dog meal. Something for everybody. Now that it's Friday.......we are looking forward to the weekend!

Exactly, just what I was writing about below; bullied.

Mom of bullied gay teen ’uplifted’ by support

J.Edgar Hoover

Finally a day without "anything" That means I'm doing laundry (bedding), cleaning, baking and writing this post at home! (going over my lists) Once a month I will go see a movie, last night I saw J. Edgar. He was the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. (FBI) From what I understood he was the creator of this efficient crime investigation team. He started the fingerprint files and forensic laboratories. A very established well known director in the public eye. I was very tired, slightly dozing through-out the movie but I left understanding a part of our history. I know this is a fragile subject but I apparently Edgar was gay and in a secret relationship with his associate director Clyde Tolson. If you haven't seen the movie, it's worth watching. The sad part is Edgar lived in secrecy sadly knowing if his love for Clyde were to seep out, his creditability and life would be at stake. "Mainly" we live in a world that is now accepting different lifestyles but even still, I know personally individuals that hide who they are because of the disapproval they'll receive. I personally believe this is wrong of anyone to judge another on they way they live, or who they are. This is where we see more suicidal attempts. Suicide. So when I learn of individuals histories living like Edgar did, it's very sad. I'm huge for acceptance and individuality. If any of our children love the same sex I would be completely fine. Some of my best friends were/are homosexual and because they can be who they are, they are nicer people. Interesting how some movies can put you in deep thought. Like books, it's just forms of enlightenment. Another enlightenment is our new age existence really isn't new age at all (a spirituality without borders or confining dogmas) it was just hidden because being exposed meant abusive death. Definitely a belief that wasn't openly communicated. Well if you know me, happiness is key to success and without it, no amount of money in the world can help you. Like Edgar, his successes were astronomical but according to some factual information, he wasn't happy with who he was personally. That's where I really do wish people can just be who they are........now I better get cracking eggs, my free day is wasting!

"Clean list"

I don't have to question if it will get any busier. It will around here! It's just not about our family, it's about including previous foster families and some birth families. Our holiday season consists of everyone. I'm probably not the only one making a list and checking it twice. In fact I'm writing numerous lists over and over again because the original list becomes tissue with rips and coffee spilled on it! In the picture above is our fireplace, we just started to decorate today believe it or not! After all that "hype" I was blubbering about being ready and decorated by December 1st past five days ago! If you're anything like me (or my husband) we are left in over-drive. This weekend I was away accomplishing (slipping in) a first aid weekend with a few hours of skiing! Interestingly enough, I'm safer in the first aid room. I caught an edge and I continued to flip - basically snow plowed myself to a halting stop. I'm completely fine except for my underlying bruises and stiffness. Then I stepped on a little nail. "I felt it" Somewhat bothered by it but I didn't realize there was anything lodged into the bottom of my foot! Finally tonight with an infection starting, I managed to remove this little foreign object! I am my worst enemy. I will admit it. It's completely about living. (Ha ha) All kidding aside, our family is active and this includes Mountains in the winter. One of our sons is an excellent skier, doing tricks at the terrain park and enjoying the backside of our local Mountain. For me, volunteering some of my free time (not much) gives our children passes to ski. One of our eleven year old sons is showing a keen interest and I can really see the potential in "some" of our children to actively succeed in some extreme sports. Only worry - My experience working in the first aid room on a ski hill is the most experience anyone will receive for injuries. I've had the opportunity to ride car (ambulance) and it was more like a delivery service. I don't like to see someone hurt, especially children. It takes a certain individual to perform first aid at this level because it's something that you have to remove yourself from personally. There has been many traumatic injuries including death that I've either attended, witnessed or heard about. Like anything, everything is to remain confidential although with certain scenarios there is a process of debriefing. A paramedic once told me that he goes home and showers. It's a cleansing of his day. Starts fresh tomorrow. Sometimes that's easier said then done. Like anything during a day of trials, we do have to move on. So when I think about people hurt physically or mentally, I always remember what my friend told me. Try showering it off and if not for yourself, for everyone around you. To remember no matter how hard something can be, someone really does have it harder and the power of taking one day at a time is or can be a saving grace. I wasn't going to write because I knew I would be all over the place, Christmas, activities, first aid, life's trials, nails - forever changing futures. We all have our own unique qualities to release tension, mine is through journals even if it's completely scattered. On that note; I'm back to decorating our home.......and starting a fresh new week with a clean new list because first hand I know our family has it really good. I'm very, very thankful for this considering we are actively plowing down ski hills!