Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Just a moment
"Please sit down".............I had a revelation today. It's nothing new. Maybe it was just a moment. People keep asking us if we're done adopting. Our answer is, "Yes we are" Although with our last two we didn't actively search to adopt, it just had to happen. We won't actively search to adopt within our future either although if we were asked to adopt - it will always be considered. While doing multiple errands and appointments today I just felt "in love" thinking about all my children, thinking about my life. As challenging as it can be, and it can be very challenging - this is my path. Our family is complex with several (many) diagnoses, we're multicultural, we're large - we are in and out of teenage hood trials - we are a family that most wouldn't consider raising. We're definitely unique. Is my husband and I crazy? Probably. But if crazy is surrounding us with children, witnessing our young adult children succeed through the years of hopeless challenges, it's worth being crazy. I had a moment today, a revelation that we will "never say never" I've heard these three words said before......I have a little secret. Once in awhile, I still sneak and preview children waiting to be adopted. I have children in my mind that I know are still waiting I often think of. See....the way I look at our life is; we are in it "forever" It's always easy to add children especially once you've experienced mostly everything, you already have a large family, a large accommodating home and have the skills to parent lots of children. Then, when you have young adult children moved and potentially moving out on their own - I start thinking, "Mmmm....we're only actively parenting twelve not sixteen anymore" So our capabilities open up for more. lol I know, I know.....I'm just having a moment today. For us, consideration would be adopting siblings of course, although our hearts belong with the more severe needs children. Funny, at one point in my life I cared what others thought. It hurt inside when people would whisper, "Look.....they have another one" Like I didn't hear, like our children were collectibles. Now we walk with pride. Adoption isn't an addiction. It's truly ones path. I can say I'm selfish. My heart opens up endlessly. (I can not close it) I can't explain nor express how I feel, how I love my family. How I do love adoption. After all, adopting brought me our children and our friends in our life. It has grown us in numbers more then I ever could have imagined. It has brought strangers together as family. Adoption is not only unconditional love, it's completely challenging in many levels, it is life transforming for everyone involved. Every child added the family dynamics change. The most rewarding experience for me is, (as their mother) witnessing our children accept another adopted sibling unconditionally. Our children really have compassion for difference, one key element I love for our children to have is compassion for others. They truly live this way. So my moment makes me proud of our family. Large families work because of their experience, and their skills with organization, routines, structure and endless patience. Next time I hear the whispers, "Look....they have another one" I'm going to stop, smile and say, "It's not the last one either" I'm also not going to paint a pretty picture on our path of adoption, remember it's our path and it's not for everybody. Children aren't collectibles, yes they're cute......but they're also broken, adoption also means there was loss, and a past of unknowns that could define their future with unimaginable challenges. If you're interested in adopting, or in our life - just come talk to me. I am happy to discuss the pros and cons. Within our walls there is lots of moments of both. Today, I just felt like our adoption journey is not over. Who knows what the future holds.......I do know I love my life, my family and I'm very proud of all our children for accepting me and my husband as their parents. For accepting each other as their siblings. For all of us coming together through adoption and rising above most odds. We are a family and I love all sixteen of my children.......and I will continue to write and share our experiences, every family has a story.....welcome to ours.