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Monday, October 3, 2011

"Swimming off the dysfunction while allotting in our shadows"

Today was a pro-d day in our district. Our morning seemed somewhat dysfunctional to begin with because we have a few complicated issues. I believe I'm developing a thicker skin with a sense of humor. We decided today that our focus wasn't on the "complicated issues" and thirteen of us went out for lunch then swimming. We all enjoyed ourselves. I was the mommy shark in the pool grabbing legs and our children just thrived on the positive attention. My husband and I talk frequently about our children. We are very aware and always watching each and every one of our children's behaviours. Although some of our children that have more behavioural issues attract a lot of our attention and it leaves our quieter ones shadowing. This bothers us. For years we have been taking our children out separately but I'm coming to the conclusion it needs to be more often. Our quiet shadows need to be taken out more. Today we went out for the day as a group. We played as one. It was great. Nothing else mattered. I was literally swimming in circles grabbing legs as our children yelled, "Chase me" Our middle bunch was able to venture further off. The funny thing is, is my husband was warned four times about doing something wrong in the pool. I would ask him, "How many times do you have to be told?" Our littlest daughter was so happy, I was doing a lot of therapy with her. Standing, swimming on her front and back, floating and she even bumb scooted all over the shallow end. I watched our children play piggy in the middle, it was a great day! One of our routines was swimming every Sunday. It also minimizes baths. Now when we come out of the pool and into the showers, we've left no space. We had another father laugh saying to his one son, "This is a family shower take-over!" For us it's a process swimming. Try dressing sticky wet children one after another, I usually take six and it's one at a time without disclosing privates. It takes us a good 30 minutes at least to accomplish a change room dressing! I find having a large family you need patience, after all we aren't going anywhere naked! By the time we arrived home, I was making BBQ salmon with rice and peas and our first six children were in bed by seven. Days like these need to happen frequently. None of us was worried, stressed with any complicated issues because we were having fun. That's what life should be about and especially for children. I'm going to admit that I live by my calendar. I look at it every night and every morning. Whatever is written first takes priority unless it's a bigger factor then the other. I've decided to have a separate calendar for our children. A calendar that they can glance at where their name will be allotted. Of course this will be in sequence but it will guarantee them their time with either myself or their dad. Special quality one on one time. It can be here at home or somewhere else. This way any little shadows will be guaranteed their time. Our large family works because my husband and I dedicate ourselves every day. We are constantly watching and thinking about each and every one of our children. This is our life. If anyone is thinking about growing larger as a family, I do stress that it's not easy. We have many little individuals to be responsible for, many teenagers that are giving us complicated issues and even our adult children I'm always looking for ways to help support. Our life is a dedication for our children and that's why it works. 24/7 All I have to say is, "Don't do it, if you can't commit your lifetime" I didn't leave much "Ums" in this conclusion. Basically for us we live it and it might sound easy, but it takes a dedication to raise many different children with special needs and ages. People often ask, "Do you get help?" Meaning a nanny I presume............I smile thinking I'm not Angelina Jolie......answering, "No, it's my husband and I and it's not chaotic" Ultimately it's purely our dedication with structure, routine and organization with some dysfunctional moments and that's when we go swimming!

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