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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Control

Years ago I never knew the truth about our parental rights. These days I'm learning that we don't have any. Anyone raising children should probably know that they don't have any rights. Did you know that your child at the age of twelve can walk into any health unit and confidentially obtain birth control? "Logically it's a great idea because children are becoming afraid to talk with their parents about sex which could lead to more teen pregnancies" the nurse explained. "So why not allow them to freely get what they need elsewhere" Well.....at age twelve this is teaching them that they don't need to seek information nor permission from their parents. At age twelve giving birth control is allowing sexual intercourse. Here's to the beginning of children knowing that "their rights" outweigh what's best for them according to their parents. We have approximately sixteen years to establish good fundamental skills and belief systems for our children, then before we know it, they have more rights then we do! Some of our children we don't have sixteen years; we have as many as we have after an adoption placement - while battling attachment disorders and several other different special needs. You would think there would be more supports in place for parents and especially when there is a history of neglect, addiction, multiple placements and mental illnesses. Not necessarily. Being "sixteen" seems to give teenagers a freedom of decisions regardless if they're right or wrong and there is nothing a parent can do about it. Calling the police is a waste of their resources because you can't keep run-aways home. If you have a mentally ill teenager, you can't physically bring them anywhere without their consent, they don't have to take medication nor seek counseling. Everyone knows there is a child helpline. I recently questioned why there isn't an early intervention program for parents? So when there is a teenager making harmful decisions regarding their lifestyle, their future - why can't parents call for an intervention where help can forcefully happen?! It's frustrating to know while raising children, possibly looking at our three year old wondering how his future will be because ultimately we're not in control of it. Yes we have many years to develop his skills in many ways but you just never know the path he'll choose during those crucial confusing adolescent years in which we have no control. One direction can change everything. My debate was if there was an early intervention for parents basically meaning control, there would be less teenage pregnancies, lower addiction and homeless rates which would resolve in less children in care. Just something so simple could change the course of our future. I keep hearing there is loop holes in our system. Yes we do and these loop holes makes history repeat itself. It's a domino effect. Personally if I'm going to advocate for anything, it would be for our parental rights. I have been patient allowing our teenagers to seek their independence. Seeking independence is one thing; defiant, verbally abusive, "in this cloud" of belief they can do what they want, when they want is completely disrespectful and ridiculously allowed within our society. I've been meaning to write about this for sometime. I know there is parents that don't know what to do and the fact is we don't because we can't do anything but watch shaking our heads in hopes that the light bulb turns back on. Perhaps some of you have no idea on what I'm writing about because you don't yet have teenagers or your teenagers sailed through perfectly fine although just beware. Like me, I am always shocked on what the next day can bring. For us parents, like I'm learning, "It's not about me" I say this everyday. For us, we stick to our guns and that I believe to be caring parents regardless if it looks ugly from the other side. In the meantime, we have many children - many teenagers to parent within our future and lucky for them, we're getting experienced. And a thought; parents don't need to be silent, loop holes within the system can be corrected and with enough avocation, early interventions regarding teenage control could and should happen. This is where our government funding should be directed - where it all begins...........

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