Just a big unique crazy family consisting of twenty individuals and three dogs! It's a day by day kinda BIG!
Sunday, February 23, 2014
"It's about you....but it's not about you!"
It was a good weekend. One of our sons turned eleven and after his celebrations some of us went skating the next day. I on the other hand did errands, cleaned, laundry, bathed some of our kiddos, prepared lunches and cooked dinner. "A daily occurrence" During our weekend I had a inspiring writing thought. (Prepare for my babble post) All of us have, or are suffering from some forms of resentment. I've had many feelings throughout my life resenting. I've had close friends that wasn't friends at all, I have had colleagues working along side of me that wasn't working with me, and I have had family no longer loyal. I won't get into great detail but when someone does something wrong to you (or at least you think they have) it feels very heavy and can be held within your heart for a very long time. Regardless if it's a misunderstanding, or it's completely legitimate it holds weight. You feel hostile. You're angry. You can not believe that this has happened to you. These feelings are valid to you BUT what do you do with them? How do you get rid of them? You don't have to forget but you need to forgive. Here's what you need to understand and what I've learned. Everything you hold within your heart is killing only you. That other person doesn't feel this. It's not changing that other persons life. All that tension, stress and dislike is being built into your own being, into your own shoulders and changing you as a person. You're probably questioning on how do I get rid of this feeling?! Forgiveness is not easy. So let's back up.....think of it this way. Everything happens for a reason. You are meant to find out who your true friends are, and sometimes even the hard way. You are meant to find out who works along side of you. Your family with education, experience and time will learn to be loyal, will learn to love you unconditionally, otherwise it's "ok" for your family to be distant. We don't have to agree, or to like what a family member does, but if we want to remain in their life, we have to support silently without judgement. We have to realize that we are all human, we all make mistakes, we all want to love and be loved even when it's not the ideal scenario. (We all live our own lives) I don't necessarily like some of our young adults decisions but it's not my life to lead. In most case situations, it's not about you. I keep writing this but it's a great sentence to repeat to yourself, "It's not about me" There is a lot we don't like in life. Tons we don't agree with. I know there is many people out there that don't agree with me either. It doesn't nor shouldn't matter. We all have our own conclusions we own. Our own decisions we have to live with. The road runs many ways. Ultimately I think people need to be thankful..... thankful for what is. Whatever, and however it evolved regardless if it was unpleasant with feelings of endless resentment - you need to let it go. Moving forward realizing that what's meant to be happened for a reason. Either you're going to accept it, embrace it , forgive.....and be thankful for it.....or live within it. Living within it honestly is a horrible way to start your days. So thinking outside the box.....for example. You're mad, you're feeling very upset by someone for something they've done. You're storing this inside. You've isolated yourself. Perhaps you're becoming depressed. You're constantly thinking about it. You're angry. All these things - I ask you, why are you doing this to yourself? Because honestly, think about this for a moment. This is only you. You are burdening yourself and yourself only. Let it go. Interestingly enough, I wasn't this person as I write. Years ago I held resentment. I was too sensitive. Now, (and maybe it's because I have so many children) I'm more relaxed on life. You don't like me? I don't even want to know why because it doesn't matter. I am confident within myself to know I'm doing the best I can for my family. If I make wrong decisions and make mistakes along they way, I am the first to acknowledge and apologize but I won't live within it. Life is too short. Everything (EVERYTHING) happens for a reason. Sometimes we don't like it, but there is a reason and that reason shines later. At least I have noticed that bulb turning on within my future all the time explaining and giving me a new perspective. It makes me feel grateful for the friends that weren't true, the colleagues that didn't work and for all the negative experiences I've had because it makes me understand where I am today. I might have a lot of babble within this post....and that I can do fluently "is babble" but I thought this topic needed to be re-addressed as I know us humans struggle with what's right and what's wrong according to our own beliefs and opinions but reality comes out in the wash. And that's the trick - to wash what we don't want away. Don't carry everything on our shoulders, stop blaming ourselves whatever it may be, forgive and be thankful because without the negative, there won't be any enlightenment's. I know I am thankful for all my negative and resentments I felt. It's a learning process. It helped me become a more compassionate person towards scenarios and people that I thought I would never be able to see eye to eye later. What most of us don't know, and regardless what you believe........our paths are laid right there before us, it's a matter of which way we choose to lead. I choose to lead without resentments, to know that everything negative behind and before me is there for a reason to enhance me. To conclude, practice recognizing your own breathing, relax and only think of your destination because everyone else's, "It's not about you"