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Sunday, September 29, 2013

"Better full then empty"

"You have you hands full" We hear that a lot. A friend of mine said when she's told that her hands are full she replies back stating, "Better full then empty" I like that. Thank you for now my new reply. You betcha we have our hands full. Sometimes it's just mind boggling onto how, and onto what to do next. Sometimes we don't have the answers......it's all about time. For me sometimes it's all about religiously waking up to a new day. Over the course of the last couple of days we've had some downs. I think it's a combination of several woman menstruating, mixed with stubborn attitudes and attachment. Then we had an internet disruption. Our internet was down for several days. And it's amazing onto how life surrounds the internet. I can't even home school without the access of the internet. Then my oldest daughters' boyfriend father passed away. He was found in his car from his son, (my daughters boyfriend) It was one thing after another and sometimes.....life is too short for moments that don't necessarily have to exist. I just felt sad. One important part of life is just existing lovingly together because I can not stress enough the importance of loss that happens suddenly. During our few days of trials I went out to the movies with a friend I've known for fifteen years. Our sons started kindergarten together. Both our sons are almost twenty years old, and are still friends. Once in awhile us two mothers will go see a movie. Half way through our movie (this Saturday) I turned towards my friend noticing her eyes were looking towards the ceiling. From there I proceeded to poke her with no response. I called her name, and I shoved her a bit more. She leaned over with her eyes still open. I immediately checked her pulse. It was shallow. I started to shake her, calling out her name....while calling out into the theatre for someone to call 911. She was lifeless, pale and I started assessing her ABC's Airway - yes she was breathing, her airway was clear but her circulation was low. Her heart rate was in the 40's. (Low) I thought a mini stroke or an aneurysm. The lack of oxygen to her brain from being unconscious I worried about because I wasn't sure how long she was unconscious for.....minutes seemed like forever. I yelled again, "Anyone calling 911!" Then the lights turned on, the movie was paused and my friend awoke. As she spoke to me she recalled nothing. Her face was pale, and semi distorted. I asked her to tell me what she last remembered? How she felt now? She wanted to leave the theatre.....and while I escorted her out, I suggested going to the hospital was best. Later that evening we found out she does suffer from low blood pressure and a low heart rate that could cause black outs. After my week......(that night) and feeling like I was going to lay my friend on the theatre floor to preform possible CPR I was not only emotionally exhausted, I was relieved I didn't loose my friend because that's how quickly life changes. It's that sudden. We just don't know. I'm not sure what it is with me.......I've seen death. I've treated hundreds of individuals within a first aid room, I know how quick and sudden it is. I just wish every one else did, especially my children. I know within my heart I've been put here for a reason and when my friend stated life is better full then empty......it hit home with me. I'm here for a full life and full doesn't mean easy nor empty. To me...it is better full and I know the importance of each and every one of us, minute by minute and with my experiences, I will support individuals, whether it's a small pocket to an enormous handful - "the importance of our existence" because we all have a reason for being here and serving our path we lead. Tonight (Sunday) I am grateful for being me - with my hands full.....






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