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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Adoption Milestones



Do you remember when you birthed your child and counted every toe, you learned something new every day that your baby did? Every first milestone was exciting! (I remember with our birth children) With our children that we've adopted, it might not of been their first baby milestones but there has been many milestones over the years to be excited and proud about. We've had many older adoptions. One proud moment was when our oldest son after three years decided to call me "Mom" then just recently decided to call his Dad, "Dad" For us, we understand that our children need to trust us, trust can take years after an adoption placement because of their unstable histories. The healing process can be difficult and challenging not only for our children, for us as their parents wanting only the best for their future. Some of you are aware that our older son left a year ago for eight months. It was extremely difficult because there was nothing we can do but wait. Learn to forgive and re-open our hearts, our home (his home) when he was ready. He's been home for a year after his eight month leave and has realized that we're his family. This is a milestone. When you have a child that is extremely behavioural, getting suspended, swearing, punching and kicking walls and demanding to be moved then changing into your loving, smiling son, this is a milestone. Being told that your daughter will possibly never "fit in" to her active family, doesn't like loud noises, is wind and light sensitive that can now ride a bike, go for boat rides and jump on a trampoline is a milestone. As their adoptive Mother, I didn't get the opportunity to watch their first step, to hear their first word but I've been able to be a part of their bigger milestones, their healing. Witnessing how they're blossoming from a label given in care to becoming our child. Becoming a secure individual within themselves. With our new adoption placements, our new son and daughter I've been in "Awe" It hasn't taken long to fall in love. I've been counting toes, rubbing their little hands and rocking their little bodies to sleep. Honestly I was worried if the rest of our children would be jealous. Of course there is some jealousy and our love becomes circulating even more so. I was also worried about our new daughter's special needs and what our children might think or might be concerned about. I've been shocked once again......they all love their new siblings. They don't care about their new sister's needs, it just made them love her more. It brings tears to my eyes seeing everyone interact with so much love. Our oldest daughter surprised me the most. She loves them and she even asked me if she could bring her new sister with her today! Of course I said, "Not yet" but "Wow!" I also noticed on our oldest daughter's face book she posted, "Amazed again at how fast you can love somebody so much, and yet you've only just met; I love .......&........!" To me, this is a milestone. Reason is, is because adoption transitioning can be a very difficult time on everyone and for the most of us, it's been so far a positive one. You know, I am a proud Mom. I believe we can get through anything. I believe in our children. For us, there's always a milestone to smile about. Today it was just witnessing all our children loving and accepting each other and with time; who knows what milestones will be next but we'll get there!

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