A parent's love is whole no matter how many times divided. - Robert Brault.
I know several different families adopting and I've experienced the same feelings they're having with delivering their exciting news of adopting or adopting again to either family members or friends that don't necessarily understand and jump up for joy. It can make the adoption news you don't want to share. We've withheld information in the past because we knew our responses would be negative and with repetitive questioning with no understanding results. It can be draining emotionally which drops down your exciting high to levels of questioning yourself. Emotions Adoptive parents don't need. Before when my husband and I weren't use to the negative remarks, we kept everything secretive. We started to realize that not everyone believes Adoption is a positive choice which made us be more selective to who knew. I believe that you need to keep your heart safe and strong, believe in yourself and do what makes you happy. It's true, adoption isn't for everyone and neither is kite flying or a Cat food Quality Controller! A Cat food Quality Controller tests cat food by burying his face in a huge tub of it, sniffs it and makes sure it's fresh, plunges his arms deep picking out tiny bones and smears it flat, searching for gristle every day! Usually if comments are said without sensitive thought, it's because it's not their path, it's not their understanding and never will be. Now, I take comments like a grain of salt, it may sting but stings quickly for me because I understand where it's coming from. Also sometimes it's not worth explaining, explaining leads into more questions so I've learned to sense out who's asking about our life. Really I'm protecting my own feelings because I know who I am......so I've developed the 747 effect. It's a jet (otherwise known as a negative comment or conversation) that passes above my head while I'm present being respectful, then I either change the subject or leave the conversation completely. The 747 effect indeed works for those times where negative opinions seem to swarm your landing strip! Then start putting yourself into a positive environment, for us, it's with other adoptive families. Befriend people who understand you, support you and is excited about your third, tenth, fifteenth, twentieth adoption placement! Not only are you going to have positive excited friends in your life, so will your children! Lately I seem to know many families that are either wanting to adopt again or are starting an adoption placement really soon that have received comments that are unfavorable. My advice, 747 and be selective, don't put yourself into a negative situation. Good for you for adopting another child/children or army in your life, a child needing a family no matter what special need or age. There is nothing negative about children and as Robert Brault quoted, "A parent's love is whole no matter how many times divided" Keep following your heart, if you want to adopt and can.......fill your landing strip with joy and love with a child!