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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Where we began......

Our family has an interesting adoptive story. When I met my husband he had two brothers. His older brother was put up for adoption, which left my husband and his younger brother growing up together. When I met my husband he was just getting to know his older brother. This was approximately 14 years ago. It took a few years for their attachment to each other as genetic brothers. During this time, I married my husband and had our baby. Our son was born two months premature due to placenta previa which was due to a uterine rupture I had with my second child from a previous marriage. This left us not able to have anymore birth children together. My husband and I started discussing adoption, adopting overseas because we didn't know that we could adopt within British Columbia. My brother in law (my husband's older brother) and his wife (my now best friend and my sister in law) started adopting in our Province. I was so excited to find out that this could happen.....this lead our two families into a closeness I would have never imagined! My husband's brother is amazing, they might not have grown up together but they're exactly alike. I feel so blessed they've found each other and we've experienced our adoption journeys together. My sister in law now has twelve children and (counting)? We will have fourteen children. Between our two families, we have twenty six children together! The beauty about our families relationship is we came together through adoption. Not only are we parents to many beautiful children, we are Aunts and Uncles to many beautiful children! Our children have many beautiful relationships and adoption in common with their cousins. Our relationship became so close that over three years ago we decided to move North to be together. A huge decision, a great decision but we came back to what we're used too. Everyday I wish we were closer geographically. Every summer our families reunite. Either we're heading towards them or they're heading towards us. What I find so heart warming is when we meet, it's like a day hasn't gone by, we are connected as a family. My sister in law and I call each other "Sisters" I might have not grown up with her either but it's like she's been a part of my life forever. My husband and his older brother grew up in different families but they are identical with postures, with interests, with having a large family. Like my sister through marriage, we were meant to be family. I miss them everyday....... When we're together with our twenty four - six -eight- who knows how many's not chaos. Last summer we went on daily trips, we even make reservations and take over a portion of a restaurant. I remember one time my brother in law asked, "Haven't you seen children before!?" to some strangers who were staring at our family. Both our families have different cultures and special needs. Nothing stops us from participating in anything! Before meeting my husband's brother and his family I was not educated with adoption. When I write not educated about adoption, I also mean not experienced, not knowing what adoption was bringing to our family. I knew it was bringing us children. With our experience adoption not only brought us lovely, intelligent and amazing children, it brought our two families closer together, it brought so much love between so many people that didn't know each other. It created our peace. Before not knowing some of the families we do now also through our adoption circle, we had my husband's brother and his wife for support. I had and still have my sister with her large family, we support and understand each other. She has given me unconditional love, even when I'm this worried dwelling crazy Mother of many children, my sister in law loves me. Adoption has given me personally so much unconditional love from so many people. I often speak about how adoption is about acceptance of difference, it's so emotionally touching to me because I'm accepted as their Mother and as their Aunty. Our children are gifts from God and I'm so grateful that they've accepted me as their Mother, I'm so grateful that my sister in law and her family are in our lives. Adoption just didn't bring us our children, it brought us an abundance of love and joy from all over. I'm always, always internally feeling blessed that our path has brought us our family and our friends. I've always said, "Everything happens for a reason" and sure does!

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