Thursday, December 6, 2012
Digestion verses solution
I've come to the conclusion that all of us (including myself) enable our short falls and allow other individuals to treat us disrespectfully, or use and abuse. I remember Dr. Phil once stated that our own being; our personalities, our own behaviors, the act of kindness, over giving and or the cliche statement "keeping the peace" creates our own situations. Situations simply as being talked too disrespectfully from our own children, or from other people. The situation exists because "keeping the peace" isn't actually "keeping the peace" necessarily because it's enabling the situation to continue. I'm starting to understand that addressing the situations is a more affective way to a solution, even if it hurts another to hear it. Not that I didn't know this before.......I'm completely for prevention and when prevention fails, there needs to be a solution. For me, it's a struggle with some individuals especially with other adults. I always try and swallow comments that aren't respectful towards me or something dear to my heart. I fear that addressing what bothers me will create an escalation with more drama or more disrespect. That the results for solution back fires and the situation becomes bigger, and develops resentments. So the question is, "When do you make the decision to address a disrespectful situation?" For children, it's almost immediate of course. I'm writing about adult situations, it could be with family members or close friends. Strangers.....is also a immediate response. The struggle is when it's someone close to your heart, you don't want to hurt their feelings, you don't want to be taken the wrong way, you don't want an escalation into a particular situation either. My answer....when a situation becomes to heavy to hold within your heart, you have to release it. Be patient and wait for the appropriate timing without distractions, without anger or frustration. Approaching delicate situations with individuals need to be done with love in a calm manner and also allowing an openness within your own heart to listen to their responses. In hopes that response is gentle. After all, every ones perception is different, every ones heart pumps to a different beat. I've heard several times from people that I'm a very calm natured person given many situations I've faced. I believe I am. I also believe I digest more then what I reveal too. I smile after writing that sentence.....using the word digest is perfect because what we can digest and pass thoroughly is healthy, it's what we can't digest is the problem. In order for me to remain peaceful, and to continue to have a calm natured personality I need to sometimes swallow the cliche "keep the peace" and solve the problems. I'm generically writing about this topic because it's a topic that not only exists in my life, and will until I pass....it's a topic that exists in all of us. I'm openly honest to say, "Heh, sometimes I hurt inside from peoples words" I can swallow it like a big girl too....digest and pass it but sometimes addressing it, releases and solves the situation completely. Digestion verses solution is my thoughts today. I hope my thoughts, sharing my feelings opens up solutions for you too because one thing I know for sure, I'm not alone in this place called Earth with these feelings. And I can't write this enough, "Love and respect each other as if it were our last day because we don't know when that day is" - Me.