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Monday, April 18, 2011

Memorable May


I was recently at our local Mountain working in the First Aid room. This year has been record snow falls. It's amazing seeing the difference from previous years. Unfortunately because of the endangered Marmots, the Mountain closes its season on Easter weekend regardless on how much snow they have. Tis the season Spring has sprung! Easter for our family is traditionally done with Easter baskets, having an egg hunt, painting eggs and putting on a big dinner. This year my Mother turns sixty on Good Friday. My sister has been preparing something special for her. (I can't write about on here) And I've planned my own special surprise the following day. Then it's Easter! The next two weeks are going to fly by leaving April for the birds! May is going to be our most memorable month. Not because we have another Birthday party but because we're meeting our new children. We've known about these children since July 2010. Anyone who adopts children know that the waiting can be very long and a drawn out process. For us having children already I can say time passes quickly while we proceed as a family. For me as a Mother knowing we have other children to adopt, there's always a feeling of them missing. What happens is we attach even before the adoption placement occurs. This is a positive and normal preparing for a parent although because there is so many possibly unknowns adopting, (if something went backwards) the letdown can be very emotional. So as much as I feel a connection with our two new children, I'm always prepared for some bad news. I was told once not to have high expectations until all the papers are signed. This stays firmly in my mind. Adopting is an emotional roller coaster. Not just for the adoptive parents, for their children already, for the children being adopted, for the Foster parents and for some of the Professionals making adoption happen. It's an exciting time but also a time to grieve with the process of movement. Through-out our years of adopting we've had Foster parents, family members of the Foster parents, friends, key workers and birth family happy over the child's or children's adoption but grieve over their move. As well as the child. It's a gain for a forever family but a loss with change. I have to remind myself that the excitement I feel needs to be cautious and to remember how everyone else is feeling during these exciting times. One reason I did not want to be a Foster parent is because I'm not their Mother. For me, I need that label, I need and believe that children need a Mother. A sense of permanency and family. I couldn't provide what I provide now being a Foster parent. I wouldn't know how to let go when that day arrived for their move. So I am compassionate, understanding and completely grateful for the Foster parents strength to perhaps not "let go" but to help a child move into their forever home. I've written before with some Foster parents we've kept connections, some are Grandparents to all our children now. They're a part of our extended family. We have some birth family and different Social Workers that we keep in touch with. There is two lovely workers from up North that just adored our boys and it was just such a positive experience. We still keep in touch. So yes definitely exciting "emotional" times ahead. I've been keeping this news to myself but after the arrival of a beautiful hospital bed and dates are finally taking place, I thought, why not write a little paragraph on what lies ahead?! Patiently waiting for almost a year brings a family together with adoption. You can be the faint at heart but just remember if you're "in waiting" to adopt, just be patient, have some supports in place and it will happen. After our adoptions, people ask one question. "Are you done adopting now?" I can honestly say for myself, I feel complete at fourteen children. We won't be adopting again anytime soon but to save myself from a potential lie, if we were approached, we couldn't say "No" without considering if it could be done.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so excited for you. :)
    Diane

    ReplyDelete