Burnt cakes

This past week I've been preparing for back to school. I will have seven home schooled and four in our public system. It's definitely a juggle stretching in several directions although I am that type mother where I try to accommodate our children's wishes. Some belong within our public system. They enjoy not only that type interaction, they enjoy their time away. For me being educated knowing how different the two systems are, I do prefer home schooling over our public schools because I have a 100% voice and decision making when it comes to schooling at home verses our public system. For example, I work one on one with our hired Educational Assistants while the public system we're not recommended to even speak with them. If I can't have the communication, I'm not a happy mother. A lot of scenarios happen in our public system that us mothers are completely unaware of..... Changing the subject (because I'm all over the place in thought) In our district there has been lots of changes including shutting down schools, adding grades k-7 and grades 8-12 together when before it was k-5, 6-8, 9-12. Change is good, don't get me wrong. Plus in many other districts the schools run smoothly with this new combination. I however think it will be a huge transition for the grade 8's to attend a high school straight from an elementary. I liked the split of having a middle school. It was an easier transition. That's just my opinion. Besides this change, the transportation has changed. The attachment areas have changed. So for our one son who wanted to remain in his school (with his friends) can not. He has to change once again because we can't stretch ourselves that far to driving him into a school that's out of the now new attachment area. I just found this out this week while trying to apply for a courtesy riding pass on the bus. There is no bus anymore from our area. We weren't told this before but I guess I should have put two and two together myself before believing this could be possible. Honestly.....this change with transportation set me off. I understand, I can embrace change but when your child (who has difficulties already with transitions) is now being told he has to change schools again, leaving his new friends because they're not in our attachment area is not only challenging for our son, it's challenging for us because he doesn't understand. We are once again the bad parents disrupting his life. So I couldn't control myself. My heart rate started to speed, I gave back the transportation form and said, "Thanks, we now have another drop-out" I stormed out like there was a fire in the building to come home and try to explain the reasoning onto why the change to our son. What really got to me was, I was told, "We can drive him to and from school" Really.....and I can stop our life for at least 45 minutes in the morning and the afternoon to do this? Not a problem. Are you kidding me?! We drive to another school to and from in the opposite direction, not to mention I promptly start home schooling at 9 am and my husband needs to work at some point in his life. Just my rant this week. It seems that every time I try to make life positive, for life to flow without glitches, I hear something that changes the future completely. I know everything will be smoothed into a fine icing later, it's like baking and burning a cake right now, all that preparation is thrown out, and once again you have to start over. That's what my week has felt like twisting my patience level into a knot. Not to mention in our Province there is a school strike. So I'm not exactly sure when our public children will start school which completely interrupts home schooling. So I have also prepared our public students that they will also being doing school work at home, while home schooling continues to proceed. Seems lately I have a lot of burnt cakes to deal with. So I joined a gym. I attend the gym when I can. It's my release and my strength training physically and emotionally "for my time" It's so I can physically care for my youngest daughter who's now seven with cerebral palsy that will soon undergo hip surgeries. I'm continuing to learn to meditate, to enjoy those dancing starlings when nothing else seems to be in sequence. Always continuing to believe that the icing will spread evenly eventually and yes, on a burnt cake if it has too.