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Monday, February 4, 2013

Running ahead!

I have a confession. I'm that honest. This time last year I was writing about my fitness. I was doing really well for half the 2012 year. Then I stopped. I will write that I stopped because we were in the middle of an adoption process, we added a sweet little baby boy, there is a transition period. For the past couple of months (or more) my personal goals disappeared. I became focused on homeschooling, therapy appointments, doctors, dentist and eye exams - you name it, daily I was doing it. Well I'm still doing it and will continue too. The past couple of days house-bound feeling semi-lost I realized I wasn't fulfilling what I believe in. I believe everyone should find time for themselves. One hour. I've written this over and over again. I live it and I know it works for establishing our own healthy souls. "Sigh" I slipped......I preached what I know I (we) need and really - I have no excuses. Sure I have 16 children, only 12 I'm actively caring for. (The other 4 are young adults either moved out or attempting too) So I have no excuse to loose my hour a day. So today I snapped out of my feeling of cabin fever, stopped blaming my circumstances and I took two of our sons back up Notch Hill. All the progress I made months prior was somehow taken from my legs, my endurance was halted and I stopped half way up my hill, my heart was racing, I felt like fainting. I just wanted to kick myself in my butt. My timing was less the 30 minutes up and down. Today I needed oxygen! I'm starting over......note to self - don't let yourself start over. It's just punishment. While gasping for air, I looked up and noticed an Eagle, just soaring slowly above me. It was weird....I even looked around for little creatures that the Eagle perhaps was interested in. Then I remembered what the Eagle represents within the First Nations culture. My husband bought me a First Nations Eagle bracelet for my 40th birthday. He chose the bracelet because he thought the Eagle best represented me. "Peace, Honor and Friendship" It's also seen as a symbol of power and prestige. A strong connection to peace. The Eagles message is to defeat your fears and see beyond the horizon. Have faith in your purpose and see how all things, good and bad, fit into the picture of your life. Whether the Eagle was a sign from God, or a message itself - as I was feeling defeated half way up my hill and slightly mad at myself; I pushed on feeling the faith for my purpose. Which is simply living what I preach. Pausing briefly at the top, looking around at what I've missed, I was able to breath that the little grave was still looked after, the trails changed slightly and I felt good. My two sons way ahead of me couldn't understand why I fell behind. Usually they're asking, "When is the run over!?" Instead they were taunting me, yelling....."Mom, you're it!" Like I could play a tag game running up hill today after months of neglect to my fitness. My quote - "Do not stop your goals, it takes that much longer to succeed! From now on......I've learned and my goals are running ahead!

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