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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

"That will not happen to me"

"That will not happen to me" is an attitude we all have had in our life. We never expect an unwanted change. What's worse is that unwanted change happening to one of your children. We've experienced this with our second oldest son with his chronic pneumothoraxes resulting in lung surgery. His future now has decisions around his physical capacity in what he can do. He's noticed at age eighteen a shortage of breath which limits his ability to run. He will never scuba-dive and he will always be aware of how his chest feels during flights, during regular chest colds as he's susceptible to pneumonia. I remember one hour after reserving his plane ticket his lung collapsed for the first time. I knew exactly what happened after our son explained his symptoms. What's worse, we were hopeful that it was a sporadic one time deal but unfortunately he's chronically lung impaired. Eventually you accept what is but there's those moments where you believe, "that won't happen to me" happens. You can go from one day of bright sunshine to a day of utter despair, confusion and questioning why me? As a mother I have wished the pain onto myself, to take those emotional feelings and physical pain from my child and I have begged, "Please let me carry it all" No parent wants their child feeling any discomfort nor deal with anything beyond the normal. I find their pain is the worst for me. I hide my own feelings, I keep positive and strong but inside I'm afraid and wishing that God (whatever the higher force is) to grant me their suffering. Life is an obstacle course of highs and lows. Today seemed to be one of those lows. I'm not going to write about it. It's not about our second oldest son. I wanted to write mainly because life is forever changing. "That will not happen to me" attitude might resemble a positive outlook but I think we all should be living knowing that within one day, life can change unexpectedly. I personally think we should be aware that we're not invisible. If we were, I would definitely like to disappear and be an invisible spy some days. The more I experience, the more I want to experience. The more I want our children to know life isn't a game of roulette and life shouldn't be taken for granted. Health is a gift, life is a gift and this is why I write lots about how we should take care of ourselves emotionally and physically. How we should live life to the fullest, to experience, to travel and yes, to have compassion for one another. Because one day, regardless how many magic powers we might think we have; life will change as we know it. It will change for someone we know or love........and the worst part is, if that happens and we didn't respect and love that person, we will carry that in our heart. I can not imagine feeling the loss that some people have. This is why it's so important to love and experience now. I've been reading this book, "The happiness project" It's a book about one woman's life that was excellent, she was happy but one day she realized she wasn't thinking about the things that really mattered. She was already happy but it was her twelve month mission to be even happier. Every month she developed different goals. For example: quit nagging, take time to be silly, go to sleep earlier - many different simple resolutions. Eventually she learned to appreciate more and amplify the happiness that already existed in her life. I'm enjoying this book, I find it inspirational and regardless if you're already happy and appreciating life, this book can help you enhance what you already have. If you're not interested in reading books and perhaps I've lost you already (Ha ha) basically just start writing down your own tips that you believe will enhance yourself, your family and anyone that circulates you. My blog features many of my self enhancements and ideas. Say "Hello" to a stranger daily, make an effort to hug tightly, declutter your physical and emotional life, make small realistic goals, make long term dream goals and change what isn't working to something that works. Don't say, "That will not happen to me" but believe that you can survive through it, if and when it does. Learn to let yourself cry. I will admit I don't cry often but I also need to realize that I don't have super powers either. To conclude as I can repeat and go on forever, live your best life possible for yourself and for everyone in it. Enhance and dedicate making it happier. It can change tomorrow without warning.

Update - 32 minutes Notch Hill round trip & 4km run!

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