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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Inner bottle

I'm finding out I get silently frustrated. I'm also a person that is very easy going, even with any silent frustration I might carry, I keep it zipped tight into my inner bottle. It's one of those long "sighs" then I cap it. One thing I'm good at is sharing my thoughts and feelings in writing for all to judge. lol So here we go.....a few "pet peeves" of mine that happen lots. (1) There is moments, blurps in time from adult strangers that will come, talk and hug some of our children. A complete conversation will happen while I'm standing right there. I wait and wait patiently for an introduction. Nope. Afterwords I will ask, "Who was that?" I usually get a "I don't know" but why wouldn't these adults introduce themselves? If I was talking to someones child, I would introduce myself and also explain why and how I know them. Seems quite logical to me. For instance tonight at a function we attended it happened not once but twice. The second time I had this look from the adult but with no introduction. Before I could even introduce myself she walked away. That's where my long "sigh" was capped into my inner bottle. (2) Every where we go, there is somebody asking, "Are they all yours?" Of course I say, "Yes, they are all mine" but the conversation doesn't stop there. "So... are you a foster home?" There goes my "sigh" again. In my mind I'm thinking.....I just did say they are all mine. So again I answer, "No, they are all mine" Then all of a sudden there is an awkward moment of silence. "Oh, so you're a foster parent" Oops there went my "sigh" again. My inner bottle is half full. "We adopted our children" (Which I might add; I don't like to state this in front of our children and people always ask in front of our children) But what gets me is, after I explain......I have been asked for a third time, "So you don't foster them?" In front of our children. I love to educate, that's one reason I have a blog. Honestly, there is dos and don'ts for questions and especially in front of children. Our children know they've been adopted but should it be asked in front of them, what if they didn't know? (3) Repeatedly I get questioned, "How do you do it?" I usually like that question because then I explain how dedication works. Then I add how important it is for organization, routine and structure. The "how do you do it" question doesn't stop there. Almost always followed after is, "No I mean, how do you do it financially?" Now my inner bottle is three quarters full. Big "sigh" with the answer, "I cook and bake seven days a week. We hire no one.......we budget, we bathe in our local rivers with one bar of soap" Ok, just kidding but the conversation is generally like that. What gets me is, I don't ask anyone ever their financial situation. "How do you do it with your two children? How can you afford that?" It might just be me being sensitively slightly frustrated but I personally think it's ignorant to ask individuals their financial situation. (4) "You MUST get help" someone will ask. "No, it's just my husband and I raising our family" This is where the silence is very awkward because I'm being looked at like I'm a liar. We were on the ferry one time and this lady said, "You must have hired help, Angelina Jolie does" Then she proceeded to ask, "Are you having a competition with Angelina Jolie?" In the midst of laughter I replied, "No, we don't have hired help and no we aren't in competition with Angelina and if we were, we're double in size" I left that conversation basically stating that I love Angelina Jolie and hopefully she'll catch up! (5) I completely understand people's interest, and their disbelief's. The fact is, it is hard to raise children and especially these days. There is two statements that top my inner bottle. Of course, I just "sigh" inside, perhaps smile, I might feel like educating that day or I will agree while moving along. The two that tops my bottle is, "It must be chaotic and/or you have your hands full" Sometimes I'm not sure what to say to this. We probably do have moments of chaos but mainly we don't recognise them because we live with it on a daily basis. So what defines chaotic anyways!? I can have chaotic mornings with my hair when I awake, in fact our children will laugh hysterically at me while my eyes are half shut and my hair looks like I've been electrocuted! Does chaos mean massive children running around and jumping on furniture while throwing stuffys at each other? Or is it a house that looks like it's been through World War 4?! Well.....nothing like that happens here except for my hair. That's why my answer always is, "Come see for yourself" The time bomb never explodes in our house. Now having my hands full...........well I have two hands consisting of 8 fingers and 2 thumbs so seriously!? Of course they are full but I can juggle! Not only can I juggle, I have an unlimited amount of patience because after all, I can deal with all these continuing questions on a daily basis too. I always tell my children (if they're present during questioning) that people mean well, they are just interested and wanting to be educated and that's why we're stopped frequently. What matters is, "You're my son/daughter" and that's what people need to know. Like the above picture, we're always above water floating.... occasionally hitting a wave or three.....but always coming out on top! AND I won't cork my inner bottle because it does need to release all those built up "sighs" once in awhile.

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