Cattle herding

A little sad I am. I'm all ready for back to school. I've accepted summer is coming to a close. Although summer moved too fast for me. How can time blow by so fast as it does? I even told my second oldest daughter (that had a baby) that I don't remember my granddaughter as a newborn! She's 4 months old. We're a busy family, there is no time to sit around procrastinating. Every day is a day finished. I prepare my calendar a month ahead. Summer again - is over. A lot of parents look forward to back to school. If I could, I would home school ALL our children and experience life more instead of the embedded 8-5 daily routines we've come accustomed too.  Eventually all our children will be adults and moving on with their own lives while my husband and I contemplate what's next. We might not have the empty nest syndrome ever although I will reflect back wondering if there was something we could have done differently with our time. Routine and structure is a must especially with a large special needs family but that can be tweaked uniquely instead of following Society's routines. Makes me question sometimes if I'm being the parent I believe myself to be, or if come September, we move into the same old cattle routine like absolutely everyone else is best? Year after year, programming our children into the lives of 8-5, following every one else. October is Thanksgiving and Halloween, then comes December with Christmas following another new year, preparing for another short summer......on and on. We follow commercialism. I admit we and even me are creature of habits. I'm feeling ready to figure out something new. Different experiences, breaking free from the cattle herding onto the next field, (the next season) that continues to remain the same. I'm feeling ready to change up life, change the creature of habit that I am guilty of, that I am teaching our children to become..... to a more spontaneous, to more real life experiences, a life that's memorable to reminisce and reflect back on. I realized that I am completely following my own childhood raising my children, I am guilty of following today's Society and its over commercialized routines. While yet another summer comes to an end, and I'm jumping into yet another year of school, I'm going to re-think my calendar. Life is too short and we aren't cattle. To conclude, I feel different adventures and spontaneous decisions lie ahead. More life experiences, more travel with less materials and herding ourselves away from the predicted months ahead.

From this moment.......

 Our first dance, "From this moment" by Shania Twain

 My Father and I

 My son (now 19) walking his mother down Rathtrevor Beach in bare feet

 My daughter (now 23) one of my bridesmaids.

 Our entrance

Cutting our cake, a 1957 Chevy cake model

 

 

On August 14th, 1999 my husband and I married. A red and white wedding on the beach. From that moment on who would of known we would be celebrating our life together with sixteen children, 3 dogs and a crazy life like ours! My husband is one of the loyalist, loving and hard working men I know. A man I will continue to grow old with, experience life with and face all challenges with knowing we will continue to be 100% there for each other. Today I am reminiscing and cherishing our choice to have a life together. Happy Anniversary to my husband, it's been a total of 16 years together and from this moment on it's him and I until the end.........our wedding song linked below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7A9oRML14A

 

 



Retail Happiness

"The onesie boys"

"The merchandise"

 

 

Back to school shopping is finished and in Canada this year! Even I'm impressed! I've been debating about shopping in the States like I do every year. To end my debate I went window shopping to price out the difference. Well........heads up, Payless shoes have awesome deals but with limited supplies. I bought all our children shoes there, even our adult children! 20 pairs! Old Navy is having a sale on shirts, $5.00 each and $8.00 on jeans from size 5-16 that's adjustable! I was having a retail happiness fix! I was having such a great time "thinking" I was saving money (in my mind) that I even splurged on onesies for teens/adults! (As seen in the above picture) Even funnier, both these boys I video taped walking around the mall in their new onesies while everyone double looked and laughed. We are use to being a centre of attention so wearing purple onesies is nothing! Having a large family you need to think about the costs for everything. For example, I purchased socks and boxers for our children that cost $250.00 and believe me, I purchased the econo packs! For the 20 pairs of shoes, it was a total of $360.00. As you can see......that's an awesome deal! When I'm shopping for all of our children I have a trick. I make a list at home with needs and sizes, from there I will leave shopping. The trick is too not take your children shopping unless you desperately need them. This way it's like Christmas in September (when I return) and a ritual we continue year after year. For a mother of many children feeling prepared for "Back to School" on August 11th is a great feeling and I didn't have to leave the Country. I will admit, I will miss the two day adventure, and Red Lobster. So unless this Island wants to bring in the Red Lobster restaurant chain, I will be heading to the States eventually for the Costco cheese and my favorite restaurant! Although right now this momma is happy with her retail happiness she's found in her own Country. Most importantly, I have happy children. That is double retail happiness! Tip - you don't have to spend x amount of dollars to make it through life, we grow, we change and yes, we can accept what we have.

Extended day trip brought warm auras

Hornby Island, The Hawaiian Island in BC!

The fire ban alternative!

Best hammock buddies!

The sleeping arrangement

Every year we do day trips to our favorite places. Hornby Island is one of my favorites. A beautiful Island that I call the Hawaiian Island of BC. My husband and I spent a week in Hawaii years ago and I'm not kidding when I state that Hornby Island is its replica. I left for a day trip with four of my sons. During our first ferry ride I agreed to drive this eighteen year old young man from Buckley Bay to Hornby Island. With his guitar, camera and backpack in hand he was politely requesting a ride. He entertained us and especially me with his entrepreneur future plans for his life. I was impressed on how mature, talented and eager this boy was. When we parted ways, I congratulated him on how independent and goal determined he was, he was a great role model for my boys! Once settled on Tribune Bay on Hornby, (the beach of endless white warm sand) we met some friends that were camping near which changed the course of our day. My original plan was to come home from our day trip.....but it sporadically changed and we spent the night with our friends. Our friends set up a tent, supplied all the bedding plus anything we needed for the evening. Besides feeling greatly appreciative, I felt somewhat out of my element not being able to support ourselves 100% and for someone like me - it's an odd feeling. Our friends were completely accommodating and welcoming, it was a peaceful and refreshing atmosphere. Not only were we on the Hawaiian Island of BC, we were swept away spending time with amazing people and as seen in the above picture (the fire ban alternative) the ambiance was definitely delightful. I found this day trip different....not because it turned into a twenty four hour adventure, nor was it because a long our way we met a great inspiring young man traveling with his guitar living semi-freely, nor was it because we were in one of my favorite places, it was because of our friends we met on the beach. The interesting part is we met on this same beach (Tribune Bay) three summers ago. We realized we lived in the same area, their daughter is and has been in the same class since Kindergarten with our son and ironically we're both adoptive families. Now our children are heading into grade two together this year and we're becoming good family friends. (Best Buddies are seen above in a hammock together) It brings my attention to what I've always believed to be true......things happen for a reason. People cross paths for a reason and we don't understand the reasoning's good or bad until the future presents itself. Who would of known three summers later we would be camping unexpectedly with another wonderful adoptive family! What's even more ironic, (the fire ban alternative) the skim board full of candles and incense is something I would do! Something that is actually placed on my mantle at home as I write.....Have you ever observed or sensed someones aura? Basically getting a feeling onto whom they really are without all the superficial behaviours? I usually know very quickly if I will like and trust someone or not to continue a friendship. I know with this particular family they're very special. Extremely kind and soft natured. They're like a breath of fresh air. It was a good extended day trip that I'm completely grateful for. During our travels home we met another traveler that needed a ride across the ferries. These individuals weren't hitchhikers, they were individuals that needed a ride across the Islands. A typical occurrence that happens for people to commune back and forth on and off the little surrounding Islands. This new father was heading back to work while leaving his 9 month old daughter and wife camping on Hornby Island. His wife camps during the summer while he travels back and forth to be with her on his days off. A bartender tending for a private company that offers services for wedding receptions and different events. Everyone has a story and sometimes while meeting a stranger along our way, or on a beach will bring great friendships. It reminds me of Connie and Arno who I met before Christmas last year....a Christmas Tree story I will cherish forever. Read previous post linked here....http://hohnsteins.blogspot.ca/2012/12/the-christmas-tree.html and follow your heart, your senses and when the aura is feeling true, don't be afraid to speak with someone. You'll be surprised what they could mean to you within your or your children's future, possible best buddies forever.

Tofino

Tofino Bound

Hohnstein Baseball

The yellow tube surfer

Our family minus 2

Thumbelina

We ventured to the Sandcastles. While there my daughters wheelchair couldn't go through the sand. I explained it was fine, that we will wait until the rest of our family chose their favorites. Well.....a volunteer offered this all terrain wheelchair seen above. It was awesome, we were able to push through like we were on pavement. Our daughter was able to pick Thumbelina as her sandcastle favorite. As our daughter grows, we are noticing limitations but it's not because we or she can't, it's because we don't have the equipment to do so. What's frustrating is usually our limitations is just that - the lack of appropriate equipment to experience. Our daughter's wheelchair is great on extremely smooth surfaces. It definitely doesn't help when we're off road and on our own gravel driveway! Our future will consist of several changes to accommodate our daughter's mobility. I'm starting to think the sooner the better now that she's six years old and approximately forty-five pounds. Even in and out of our bathtub can be challenging. It's physically becoming dangerous for all of us. Thinking about bathtub lifts, and a paved driveway for her wheelchair seems like a huge undertaking. It's amazing on how important a smooth surface is, or a wheelchair accessible bathroom......like the sandcastles, without the equipment we're simply unable to proceed. It's interesting watching and listening to individuals complaining about nothing, while we stood there completely happy to wait for the rest of our family to return from viewing the sandcastles because we couldn't go in until we were offered a different chair. One thing about my daughter is she can be very happy with what life is for her, then other times she can be very frustrated. You know, she should be frustrated. While she sits and every other child is running around, swimming, dancing and playing with each other, she can't. We aren't the family to sit back and have limitations.....neither is our daughter but sometimes it's simply beyond our control. After the sandcastles there was dancing on the beach. Well.....my daughter and I pushed in with her wheelchair and she danced. She moved her legs, her arms and swayed with every move. For one song, I held her out of her chair where she jumped, danced and laughed requesting more. When we left she was red faced from having so much fun. It was a good evening for her. I wrote a previous post about when we are ready to landscape, we would like to make a wheelchair accessible yard and playground. I fear that it will be years from now. Which raises my questions onto when we can change our bathroom, when will we pave or have a wheelchair accessible home? We do absolutely everything ourselves and thank God our house is finished because when it's just my husband and I, it takes years. Everything will get accomplished, it's just going to take time, and that time moving so fast is what concerns me. There is some days that remind me of not our limitations but the set backs because we don't have the proper equipment. That's where I feel our daughters frustrations and our own. My mother keeps stating that my husband and I can't continue carrying around our daughter, we can't keep lifting her in and out of her bed, the bath tub and our vehicle. "We know" Our frustration is we have to right now.....not until we have a paved path way, a wheelchair ramp, and several different lifts. Change takes time. Interesting how my daughter was drawn to the Thumbelina sandcastle, "Thumbelina" a tiny little girl that conquered all odds then lived happily ever after as the Queen of flowers. You know.....I've heard that fairy tales come true and I believe. For us, and for our daughter with physical challenges, we will, and she will conquer and regardless if we have the equipment or not, we made it to Thumbelina, just like we made it to the Sacred Waterfalls, just like our daughter will walk one day. I tell our children every day, you can do anything with the will, with the provocativeness and the endless drive to do so. It's always a choice. My littlest daughter makes me believe this every day. She's definitely my little Thumbelina......

Personalized imprints

I'm in decision mode. It's now August and in between camping trips I'm usually getting ready for back to school. Every year I spend two days in the States purchasing clothing and shoes for our children. The clothing in Canada has become comparable although the running shoes still are expensive. I've been searching for online sites to order instead....online ordering seems to be the new shopping experience. Since I started homeschooling, I've been online ordering for over a year now. The other day I stumbled across a site that you can customize your own clothing. That was fun. All our children are getting their own shirt with their names on it. What's nice about personalizing and especially for our children it gives them the sense of stability and ownership within our family. Having "Hohnstein" on their own shirts signifies their place in their new family. Every time we adopt a child, we celebrate and their gift is their own shirt representing them and their new name. It can take years for a child to feel stable within a new family, and any little detail can either disrupt their hopes or help them realize they're here to stay. Personalized clothing is a great idea, photographs on your wall should be done instantly especially if your family is already placed there. I've also been in the process of making all our children their own albums. All our children when they're adults will receive their own childhood albums. Recently our oldest son, also he's our first and oldest adoption returned to his childhood home town. The town we adopted him from. He was suggesting he might go back and live there. He returned within one week. He explained to me that it's not the same, the town that he once knew, where all his childhood memories reside, where his childhood friends still exist have changed. It's not his home. He went back to the hotel where we had our pre-placement visits, and that's where he remembered good memories. The beginning of his new life and family. It was a "Awe" moment for me. It was just before his twelfth birthday when he came home, it was a rocky road from the beginning......then even rockier during his teen years. Now he's turning twenty and after nine years of being our son, after searching out his birth family, returning to his childhood home; his recognition of his place in this world is us. That's adoption. From the beginning of placement, throughout the years of questions of who am I? Where is my place within this world? To seeking....and realizing that his adopted family is the one that committed and dedicated themselves putting that shirt on his back. It's the reassurance from day one that even when he wasn't sure, or didn't want to be our son, that he was anyway. I'm referring to our oldest son because he's now twenty years old. We accomplished establishing attachment with attachment disorder labels, we adopted an older child with major trials and tribulations within his past history. And we didn't succeed because of a personalized shirt, I learned when during the hard times to still be his mother from a far. I constantly reminded him that he's my son if he liked it or not, that he can make his choices, even go on with his life but it doesn't change the fact we picked him and he's always a personalized "Hohnstein" I sure do love him....he's come a long way. He might not know this, but he helped me......I learned while parenting him on how to hopefully successfully parent the rest of our children. Something every parent should know. A. It's not about you. B. Let your adolescent learn from their own choices. C. If they seek, be there for when they return - very important (they're your child) D. Forgive and move on. E. Remember, you're not alone, there is hundreds of families with challenges - seek your own support. To conclude, raising children is not easy, raising teenagers is crazy, having compassionate, respectful adult children is what I see successful at the end of it. If it does not "feel" successful, remember you did the best you could and you won't be forgotten because you were a part of your child's life, a stepping stone that they will remember. That's still a personalized imprint you made as their parent. My thoughts for today........