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Saturday, October 18, 2014

Shoe Blues....

It seems a week goes by before I write again. Weeks are passing by like blinks. To update, we're still making "Emily's Angels" We will be set up at the Qualicum Farmer's Market Nov 15th from 9 am-12. Dec 13th our annual Christmas Party starts at 4 pm until 9 pm at the Nanoose Place Hall. Please RSVP me for more details. We will also have a "Emily's Angels" table set up with Christmas Angels at the Christmas party. Besides events, I have been busy with schooling and therapist appointments while adding three mornings of boot camp starting at 6 am plus occasional gym visits. Other then the regular routines of life I've been very irritated with some of our children lately. This is nothing new "lol" and something that might not ever change. It's the lack of value some of our children have for their material items. I have been purchasing shoes every couple of months for example. They walk through mud, they drag their feet while bike riding, they slip on their shoes squishing the heels. They loose their shoes, and sometimes they even hide their siblings shoes in the bushes. This isn't just with shoes, they loose their jackets. Brand new jeans they roll around in the grass! Crawl on the cement like dogs. Sometimes I catch them walking around in their socks outside. They're chewing on the collars of their shirts, or purposely destroying their clothing. I know, I know - some of this is typical child behavior. However it's getting ridiculous. Knowing that our children need to be clothed, I re-purchase what they need. Except I give it sometime. I make them wear what's destroyed. I explain that if you don't look after your clothing, that you won't get nice items. For example, our teen boys want $150-$200 pair of Michael Jordan basketball shoes. NO - it won't happen because they can't look after the $40-$50 dollar pair of shoes they have or had. I've explained to our older teenagers that perhaps they should get a job because this money train of endless supplies is going to come to an end if they can't appreciate and look after what they already have. It's just not about clothing, it's bikes and their toys. Some of our kiddos just break everything. Which leaves me wondering what to do for Christmas and birthdays. Lately it's been bed sets for birthdays. Christmas has me baffled this year. As much as I want to step away from the traditional material over commercialized holiday, I love the magic of Christmas morning as much as my children do. I'm thinking I could buy more shoes and socks for Christmas but again, that won't solve the ongoing issues we have around here with the purposeful destruction. Funny but not so funny, our sixteen year old son complains constantly about absolutely everything and including that he has no clothes. I ask, "Where did your clothes go?" "They're lost or someone stole them" he explains. However no one in this house is his size so that's not a fact. I witness how they treat their clothing and their as a parent I'm questioning, "What should I do when their footwear is like a disposable pantie liner!?" They need to walk outside with something on their feet!? If our children don't learn somehow now the importance of looking after their things, they will grow up not having value for anything. Having a everything is replaceable attitude. The problem with this generation is they all have this entitlement that their parents should replace, their parents "HAVE TOO" do for them. Including car rides. I have explained that "No we don't" When I was younger I walked. If I wanted nice material items, I worked. I understood the value therefore I looked after everything. This is what our teenagers need to do. As a parent I feel I need to prepare our children for their future and how the real world works and it's not disposable and replaceable. I've learned to not allow my children to make me feel guilty for their mistakes either. It's so interesting on how missing clothing, broken or misplaced shoes or what I "cooked" that day (some don't like) becomes my fault. Sorry, your materials are your responsibility and if you want a menu, get a job and buy your own dinner. Situation solved. I've been explaining to set goals, if you want something bad enough, you will earn it. Start taking responsibility for your own actions. So my conclusion is many of our children are going to have the shoe blues because they're going to start working to replace what's lost or broken. It's my only option I can think of that will help them realize the value, to hopefully appreciate and understand that shoes don't grow on trees, neither does life. 

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