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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

FAS SUCKS!


Today seemed to be challenging for me. Just with everything. It left me moody and speechless. Once in a while I just get irritable with life that continues to cycle itself daily. Same ole issues. Repetition is key for children with FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) and sometimes it's just draining on the parents. Frankly, it gets annoying. Patience and understanding is purely the key although sometimes I just wish the constant reminding, the battles that can occur would cease. FAS (for a lack of better words) sucks. Often children behaviours are belligerence, and stubbornness. They could score well on an intelligence test although their behavioural and emotional problems will interfere with their abilities to succeed. Besides the behaviours, children with a diagnoses of FAS have learning difficulties, difficulty with sequencing, memory, understanding cause and affect and weak generalizing skills. It's a hidden disability because sometimes the physical features are unrecognized. Not having the physical features makes life that much more challenging because us as parents and teachers have to be aware and keep reminding ourselves that our children indeed have a brain injury from alcohol consumption during their birth mothers pregnancy. I'm learning while homeschooling my own children with FAS that instructions have to be simplistic. Black and white. “Don't teach your child fast, teach them slow” Lower your expectations. A routine is the utmost important factor daily so your child knows what to expect next. It helps for us to have a daily routine board. We are highly routined Monday to Friday. I don't mind (most of the time) our created life surrounding FAS. I hate the fact that our children have FAS because it's completely avoidable but here we are taking one day at a time hoping for successful futures for our children. I won't paint a pretty picture being a mother with FAS children. It can be draining. Like for me today.....I just felt like crying. After getting into an argument with one of my sons about his schooling, HIS future....I questioned myself, “WHY am I wasting my time?!” “WHY do I feel so frustrated right now trying to get my son to understand that I'm not the enemy, that I do care and I'm here for his future!?” “WHY do I feel not adequate and not a good parent right now!?” Sometimes as strong as I am, I have these days where I feel like I have FAS! It can be so frustrating not only for the child with FAS but for the parent, for the family and it can be so isolating as the general public just doesn't understand our life. Which I completely understand because I really have to keep focused daily to understand it myself. Understand? Lol That's just me today. Feeling FAS overwhelmed wishing to have more compassion for it. Most of the time I just “sigh” or I will laugh because it's just too unbelievable the strange occurrences that happen around here. I might even ask, “Why did you do that?” I never get any concrete reasonable answers......”I don't know” AND that's exactly it. Most of the time our children don't know. That's the whole cause and effect piece. Joy to FAS! So today after feeling silent, feeling irritated and inadequate as a mother, I wrote this post because I know I'm not alone. I doubt there is a parent out there that hasn't felt as I do today. Now today is semi-over, it was productive with homeschooling, with therapies, with my daily chores and with a roast dinner waiting in the oven – I feel better to tackle another day. Too continue to believe with every challenge, with every argument – I am making a difference and we will conquer FAS daily if we like it or not. FAS sucks but you will not win!

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