Wednesday, June 12, 2013
The father's day box
Father's day is fast approaching and our children and I have been secretly making a father's day box with everything "Dad" likes inside. (Minus the clothing) His plan is to attend the races with some of our children while my plan is to take our family to the sacred waterfall. Hopefully the weather allows us to venture out! Lately I've been thinking about my husband and I's relationship. We are the bricks that centres our family. The two of us need each other, our family needs the two of us. I often refer us as the "Empire Builders" Lately while thinking about just us, (my husband and I) I can't recall the last time we were out together as a couple. Normally this doesn't matter, but I have thought about what it would look like. I remember when we went out (not sure when) in our past and we ended up at Walmart purchasing items we needed at home. Which brings my attention to our relationship. I think it's lost within our family empire. The King and Queen are known as the "Mom" & "Dad" only..... While helping our children make their Dad's father's day box, I had this realization that he's my husband too! As weird as that may sound, parents do get lost within their relationships raising children. This isn't horrible but it's a missing piece once you've noticed it's gone. I share our life honestly as a writer because I believe anything worth reading should be emotionally helpful, inspiring in some way or for the reader, it opens up their eyes to their own realizations too. For this post, it's just that - recognizing and sharing what is lost while raising a family. While prepping the father's day box I starting thinking about how to rekindle our status as a married couple. We're great empire builders.....we make a great team raising our children but after sixteen years (this year) of being together I want more. I don't want Walmart, I don't want to discuss our children and I don't want to 100% involve our children within our relationship either. This afternoon I asked my husband for a hug. Just to put my head on his shoulder for longer then a minute. My husband keeps saying, "It's you and I until the end" It's true. When our children are all grown up and most have moved on, my husband and I are the ones that are left behind together. Just for the record, (we are not having marital problems) we're just concentrating raising our family and forgetting that we also have a relationship with each other. Have you read the book or watched the movie called, "The Notebook?" The ending of this story is the inspiration for me. After life is almost over for the two in love, they had each other in the end. That's us parents. If we have significant others, these are the people who we'll reminisce with. For me, I was reminded (inside myself) while making the father's day box that it's not all about our children......it's about us too. And you know, we don't have to go out to build our relationship. Relationships build like our empire does. Work and TLC. Longer hugs, taking the time to talk (somewhere private) and practicing not talking about our children! I remember an evening where my husband set up a small table with a lit candle in the middle, and a dinner for two. A lobster dinner that he cooked himself for me....and he had a burger. lol This was all secretly set up in our bedroom. This was a long time ago but the thought and memory still remains in my heart. It's nothing material, it's not going out to some fancy restaurant, a relationship like ours just needs that quality 20% out of the 100% we give to our children. So this father's day isn't just about "Fathers" It's about my husband too, and all the significant others. From this day onward, hug your partner more. If you're single, definitely hug yourself more and start recognizing who is important other then your children. Building the "father's day box" was not only important to our children, it was important for me. It helped me remember who's important. He's not only known as "Daddy" he's my husband, my significant empire builder that I will one day reminisce with.
"Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home....it's your responsibility to love it, or change it" - Chuck Palahniuk.
"Happy Father's Day" to all the father's out there - and for everyone that has a significant other, perhaps here's a nudge to hold them closer, lite a candle, have a conversation or heh, have fun and make them their own special box for no occasion at all - just because.