Total Pageviews

Thursday, September 20, 2012

"Diaries of our strong kids"

Sometimes our children ask to write on my blog. The first below post was written by our birth son. Below is his thoughts on our large family developed through adoption. I find it helpful to read or hear from children including the birth children's views on their family's dynamics changed forever with more siblings. I speak once or twice a year on the adoption education panels and usually I will bring one or two of our children to either speak or present their culture through drumming, bannock samples and most importantly their thoughts on either being adopted or having adoptive siblings join them. Every child has a voice. I remember during our first adoption we were told that our son (then) didn't want to be adopted. He was eleven turning twelve. When my husband and I first applied to adopt, we stated that we didn't want to adopt children that didn't want to be adopted. I still remember our sons voice that wasn't heard. We had some difficult times and especially through his teenage years. That unheard voice came back to haunt us. Now after celebrating his nineteenth birthday, over coming and moving forward from those delicate rough years, he is a respectable young man. He is indeed our son. I'm very proud to say he wants me as his Mother. Although it took him seven years. Honestly, I wasn't sure if his voice not being heard at age eleven was going to be detrimental to his adoption or not....I still question, if he was more willing, "Would that make a difference?" Maybe. It definitely would have been easier. All I care about now reflecting back is, we made it through many years of hell and he is our son. Funny, they say genetics plays a huge roll onto whom you'll become but watching our nineteen year old son, he reminds me of myself. I have this habit he's acquired. We sniff our fingers. I've had this habit for years. Now our son has it. After awhile, we all start to look and act like each other. We met our oldest son the summer before his twelve birthday and I'm proud that he's my son - I'm proud that he's picked up on some of my weird habits. I'm very grateful he wants me as his Mom. ``Diaries of our strong kids`` is dedicated to all children waiting to be adopted, have been adopted and to the birth, and adoptive children that have adapted. It`s not easy to accept and be accepted, to change absolutely everything within a child's life. The second post is from our other twelve year old son. Once again I`ve left their writing exactly as is without edit and provoking. When I read his, I remembered being told he requested to live by the ocean. In fact some of our children have never seen the ocean before being adopted and I`m really happy that his wish (his voice) opinion was heard. I mean it was pure coincidence of course but when a waiting child has a vision, vocalizes their voice, it should be acknowledged. I believe this helps for a successful placement and forever future.

(1) i am a 12 year old birth son. i have 14 siblings most from adoptions. when i didnt have very many siblings my other siblings wouldnt hang out with me and my mom and dad worked my mom worked at night and my dad worked at day then they started adopting. then my mom stayed home and i got to see my mom more and now i have lots of brothers and sisters i definetly am not alone. what was really fun i have a older sister who i scared with my rc spider one year once my parents adopted i have someone to hang out with. now i have a large family, theres always something going on someone always has someone to play with. the best part is that i have a little sister that poos in the bath all the time and throws food at the dogs and shakes her leg when shes happy.having a large family with lots of brothers and sisters is always wierd someone is always doing different things like putting their hands in the toilet. my dad is always complaning about overflowing toilets before my parents adopted my life was quiet and boring, im writing as a project for my home schooling and for my moms blog.

(2) I am 12 years old and im a boy. I think having a large fammily is awesome you always have someone to play with and there's always something to do. I love sports my favorite sport is basketball I have two nets and I play with my brothers. I go to public school and I meet lots of friends. It's good to have a dad because he plays sports and taught me how to play chess and sometimes I beat him. I think my mom is awesome because  she always makes awesome food and she doesnt make hamburgers and hotdogs all the time she is a good writer witch u probly already know. My favorite food is tacos and usually my mom makes that. I was adopted at age 7 and I remember that someone told me about the ocean and the beach and I drew a picture of me living on the beach I have always wanted to live on a beach it was my dream and it finally came true. I live near a beach and i LOVE it I thought a crab was a big beatle. I have never been fishing until I got adopted. im preatty happy that im adopted and im in a large family and that my dream finally came true.

(3) I am 14 years old and im a boy. I was the firest to be adopted to my family out of my 4 birth brothers and one of my brother i used to play all the time with every day and every hour of the day and he was the brother that i talk to all the time we had fun times till one of my birth brothers got adopted then he started to play with the brother that i used to play with all the time i got really jeloous. my mom loves to adopt my mom loves it so much she adopted a dog and the dogs name is crazy the name is yin-yang its a funny name . I have a part time job it`s my first job and im hoping to stay with the job. Im home schooled and i like it because i get to spend more time with my amazing mom and dad that i love vary much. And i like to party!.

Lastly, the third written post seen above written by our fourteen year, he`s clearly a character. I promised not to change or edit their thoughts. I believe he`s writing for brownie points calling me his amazing mom but I will take where credit is due. (lol) What I did notice within his post was sibling jealousy. I do remember this time he`s referring too. We adopted five boys with staggered placements. Mostly, they were all in different foster homes. Our fourteen year old (age 9) when adopted was the first to join us. He never lived with his birth brothers. For the first month he connected with his new brother (our birth son) - that wrote first seen above. Then when his younger brothers arrived, he was jealous. Extremely. I remember fondly the tension between brothers ``jealousy`` sometimes maliciously fighting for their brotherly spot. Boys. The testosterone was high. Of course with time and adjustments, the jealousy semi-faded. It`s still evident today although every child (brother) knows their place within our family. I`m very appreciative that some of our children share their thoughts and on my blog. My blog was created to explain why we adopt, how we manage and hopefully offers some insights, support and positive encouragements. I advocate for adoption. I do believe children need stability and permanency that adoption provides. A family. We are dedicated. I see my fourteen year old pointed out within his paragraph that I love to adopt, I love it so much - I adopted a dog. Funny. We all have a path and ours is with children. I wouldn`t suggest just anyone to adopt children unless they`re ready to commit to a life-time of challenges, behaviors, special needs with adding routine, structure, some organization, patience and a huge sense of humor. In our day to day life I don`t ever refer our children by birth or adoptive son or daughter. (It`s just my son or daughter) On here it`s merely explanation. Too conclude somehow.....our family has not only grown in numbers, not only with love, it`s grown in strength within each of us to rise above the past, to accept each other with time, to face each challenge and move on to yet another new day with a voice.

No comments:

Post a Comment