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Wednesday, October 28, 2015

"Life or death"

I watched a plane in the air fly by and I immediately was reminded on how amazing we are as people. We are intelligent. Look how far we have come. How we evolved throughout these years. From traveling great distances on horses to flying. From the first typewriter now to this. It's truly astronomical. While watching the plane pass while knowing it was holding hundreds of people above me it reminded me about the trust we have in each other. In our chosen professions. We trust one hundred percent when we seek medical help, when we're passengers, when we outwardly seek help and believe in confidentiality. We believe in each other. Back within that first week in June when we were turned away not once but four times from emergency when my husband was clearly so ill, so sepsis was that moment I lost trust in our medical system. Even now (today) as my husband is undergoing a full MRI (October 28th) and while five months later still on daily IV with escalating white cell counts, weekly blood tests, chronic spinal pain, heart issues and TIA's (mini strokes that he takes simple aspirin for) has halted his quality of life. He looks much better, he has gained weight and strength but we still don't know what his future looks like. We're heading into our sixth month and he can't work, he wouldn't be able to catch that plane and enjoy a vacation. He can barely sit for long periods of time. He suffers every minute of his day while trying to maintain that father and husband figure while pushing through that chronic pain, those periods of extreme exhaustion and bouts of temporary paralysis from poor circulation. He lacks sleep and while struggling to maintain some normalcy, some happiness, my husband is mentally stressed and worried about our future. We continue to believe that he will be a MRSA survivor.... but we constantly question at what cost. Spinal pain is the worst pain someone can chronically have. It effects absolutely everything. When I was doing MRSA research I found out that time is an essence, it's a deadly quickly spreading infection. So....that first week while being turned away repeatedly from emergency, while begging for a simple urine or blood test it resulted in "what exactly" is the question? No apologies. I wanted to go to the news, the news is fully aware of our story however we are currently waiting to see if we have a law suit. The problem is, there is so many unknowns. Honestly, the future I know will be complicated and compromising. I personally believe the medical negligence we received warrants some sort of reprimanding. There was fault. The medical system can hide, blame or continue to say that it was easy to misdiagnose however there wasn't a physical examination in the first place except for the obvious, an opinion. A judgment. That landed my husband in ICU. So as we wait, wonder and hope for better news from his full MRI today – I'm still sick to my stomach that the intelligent professionals that we trusted broke that. It wasn't a simple mistake. No. You don't turn away someone that can't barely walk, talk and is pushed out of emergency by his wife while in septic shock with no tests or treatment. You don't tell that wife we're not admitting your husband today while she is in tears and is at a loss of what to do with him. No. I worked in first aid for years. One of the first things I learned was not to judge. You do your A B C's. You fully examine, and do a RBS. (Rapid Body Survey) You address every complaint. You take the appropriate tests. AND jeeze, blood work and urine samples are easy and usually instant. We are heading into our sixth month. I feel saddened by everything I've seen this man go through and still goes through. As we don't know his future, or if he can endure working as a mechanic anymore. Will he ever car race again? I have to think about what can I do. For me, it's not that easy. I need time. So I've proceeded to make a two year goal. I have applied to go back to school in hopes that I can obtain a Social Work career part time come 2018. Financially right now is this the right decision? Is it the right decision while my husband is sick? Having many children under my wing is this the right decision? I don't know except I have too. I want too for my family. For myself. What I do know is our current ongoing situation has changed us. On the positive side, we continue to live, love, and experience life as much as we can together. We understand how short life is, and on how quickly within seconds it can change. So there isn't time to waste. I'm grateful we are all intelligent, and that technology has expanded from just typewriters. That way I can share our experiences, I can explain to you to trust your extincts when it comes to your precious health. We are all intelligent but mistakes are made. And when those mistakes happen, we should be accountable for them. Simple. As that plane disappeared miles away in the distance I was in awe on how we trust our lives in others hands, and so we should. However always keep in mind to follow your heart, those gut feelings and to understand that your life is one hundred percent in your hands, not always in the hands of others. Well... unless you're unconscious or in an airplane! Then continue to keep your eyes closed and hang on tight! But if you're heading into an emergency department and you know something isn't right, you know it's just not gas – sit down and don't leave until you're properly evaluated or thrown out. I regret I didn't do this for my husband but what I can do now is to share our experience and advocate for others. Make sure you're not treated like we were. It can equal life or death.   


  1. I hear your frustration and disbelief of the medical system. Doctors and the other medical professionals are people too, and they do make mistakes. Yours seems like a cumulation of many errors though. Social work will probably enable you are your family to life a fairly comfortable life. Will your husband be able to take over the running of the home while you bring in the money? I don't know your family situation well enough to know if some of the older kids can be of help. Anyway praying for you to finish school rapidly and to figure out how this will al work out.

  2. Thank you Kristine for your continual support. I know professionals are people too and every one makes mistakes. It's accountability that know one has confessed too. A simple apology would have sufficed. And really, it's not about that anymore, I just want to make sure it happens to know one else. And that people follow their instincts concerning their or their loved ones health because Doctors make mistakes. A particular doctor that keeps coming back to my attention actually needed some consequence in the way he handled and discharged us. Horrible. Anyhow hindsight now, I just hope it doesn't happen again to us or someone else. That's why I re-highlight the scenario. My course I've applied to I can do online, I homeschool anyway so I anticipate this shouldn't be a problem. A plan I know I can with commitment and dedication.

  3. Hey honey, I am so sorry for this terrible mistake that has costed your family so much. This is wanderingroots__ on Instagram. I, too, have been screwed over by the medical field. I have had misdiagnosis, wrongfully been prescribed medication when I was weak/young/vulnerable and I will now forever suffer from the careless backlash of medical malpractice. I wholeheartedly agree that people should listen to their gut when it comes to your health... All the money in the world can't buy a healthy immune system or a brand new body with all new organs. I will say prayers for your husband, and I look forward to seeing his progression with health in the future. (I am hopeful that he will survive and life will be a little more easier as time goes on.)