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Saturday, May 16, 2015

Individuality

I've had a few emails asking if I plan on blogging anytime soon. If you've been following, I do love to write (even with all the errors) as I'm my own uneducated editor. lol We have been busy. Nothing new. On another note I've been struggling personally. Parenting isn't easy at the best of times. Having a larger complex family adds that intensity. Sometimes parents (especially me) don't get it right. We make mistakes. We are human beings. It's interesting on how while parenting, "us parents" get lost in the mix to get it right. I often think......only if children knew we are not the slaves, they are not entitled....that yes us parents are people too. "With interests" I have been taking my hour a day. I also believe that we as parents should support individuality. We are all different. Physically. Mentally. Relationships. Beliefs. What is incredible about life is we're all unique. So that's what I teach our children. To be yourself. You don't have to get married and have babies. You don't have to love the same sex. You don't have to be that lawyer, nor do you have to work the typical 9-5 job. I've written this many times over and still to this day I struggle with judgement. Every day there is looks, snickers, and comments about our family. Perhaps it's our size. Sometimes, yes sometimes it's about our daughter in a wheelchair that happily yells "Hello" to everyone. Yes sometimes I get glared at because I'm full of tattoos. After all, what kind of mother would look like that? Funny.....only if people knew. Only if people would walk in and have my life for only one week, and do what I do on a daily basis - then decide who I am. You know.....we are in 2015 where freedom of expression and equal rights are suppose to be valued and respected. It is not. AND that is why, if anything......I'm here. I feel like I'm an extremist in everything I do. It's all about avocation with me. I would have the rainbow stripes all over my yard for example. I walk what I believe. AND that's to be yourself. You have to be happy. Lately I learned something "again" I have four adult children living their own lives. Some are doing awesome while some are struggling. I tried to guide and support realizing my parenting as their mother needs to step back. I had my time with them. I placed what fundamental skills I could, now it's their turn to find themselves like I have. It's not necessarily going to be how I taught them. I learned that that's ok too. It's their life. I don't live my mothers, they don't need to be living my beliefs or expectations either.  As long as their happy and healthy - be free. And honestly, even if they weren't happy and healthy, they are now on their own learning path. It's true when people say life is a roller coaster because it never really slows down, the directions are forever turning. Right or wrong we are all here for the ride. Too experience...... then "poof".... we become a distant memory. Sometimes I think about what's right....what's wrong....then I keep being redirected to tomorrow - we might not be here - so if harm isn't caused onto others, why judge? Why stress? It's so hard not to judge....I know because I've caught myself. Living unconditionally is actually very hard to do. So I understand. For me trying to advocate individuality.....I still feel like this little bird sitting in the palm of judgmental hands inching my wings outward slowly feeling comfortable with me. I can just imagine all the teenagers and young adults struggling just breaking the surface. To conclude, I know to let your birds go....and to continue to enhance your own individuality being a parent or not. It's the only freedom really we can have, and that comes deep within ourselves. Don't get lost trying to get anything right. Don't think getting things right is about pleasing others. Be yourself - that is what's right. While being yourself, practice loving others being themselves too, that way we all can fly together embracing each others individuality. It's hard enough just getting to that point to soar.  

 

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