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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Becoming "Good people"

Good people. I have been in "Awe" over some really genuine good people. Everyone we meet in life has the right to be accepted (or not) on his/her own merits. It's better to be yourself. I read somewhere that it's better to be hated for who you are than liked for who you aren't. Being honest with yourself allows you to be honest with others. A dishonest person has no chance in maintaining true friends because eventually they're figured out. Loyalty is huge with people, I constantly tell my children that foremost keep loyal, keep the confidence and don't speak of anyone else. Don't judge. Respect within a friendship is keeping information shared between each other confident. There is nothing worse then breaking the loyalty within friendship, it's just common courtesy and everyone deserves and should expect that friendship respect. For our children because there is some bullying tendencies that surface I'm always encouraging them to be a "good friend" Respecting their friends privacy is loyalty but on the flip side of friendship the question irises on when to "watch out for your friend" If there is talk about running away or committing suicide then of course consulting their parent or a professional is important. As much as we teach our children the importance of honoring friendship it's only with age and experience with loosing friends on how to keep them. Unfortunately with some of our children they really struggle and peers are important. At a time of crisis usually just listening is all a friend needs and perhaps a sincere hug. Our children as I've written before; I've seen this sincere compassion for others, it's one of my top ten list of wants for them as they mature. I've always said that it's "Okay" to give advice, add your perspective but don't ever judge and remember to be sensitive to their friends circumstance. Basically don't get offended when they don't want to listen as it's only your opinion, let your friend make their own decisions. Good friendships are based on trust. I keep telling our children that the number one most important factor in any relationship is trust. Once broken it's very hard to salvage. It reminds me of the "little boy who cried wolf" Eventually when the truth is told, there is no belief within his/her words. One consequence we've given was reading this story over and over again. In fact the truth will always set you free - "Just tell the truth" otherwise it will eventually come seek you out. "Piles of white lies can be the end of you" meaning the truth always surfaces in one form or another. These are all skills I hope our children generate through-out childhood so they can be respective good people in their adult years. I keep telling one of our sons that being selfish won't work for long, sharing and having the generosity (returning the favour) will keep a friendship lasting. There's a golden rule with friendships. "Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated" I keep telling our children that if you've made a mistake, apologise. As much as I continue to teach our children on how to treat others, I'm always reminding myself the same. Who am I to judge another? This is where acceptance that I write all the time I believe to be as important as compassion. Accepting differences, lifestyles and heritage. After all this world isn't based on one way nor should it be. That's what makes us individuals, unique and we all can give something to someone else intellectually; as long as our children learn the basics of respecting one another and their friendships - they will flourish in relationships! For myself, I do my best to practice what I preach and I am in "Awe" for having people in my life that is all of this and more. Thank you for being who you are! I always smile thinking of you..........

2 comments:

  1. Excellent advice! Thank you for sharing.

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  2. My husband keeps telling me to "begin with the end in mind." If I want our boys to respect others I must teach them/model respect. If I want them to be an engineer, then focus on math and science. What do I want for them? Definitely the things you spoke of in your post! I needed to be reminded of this - in light of how far behind we are in math and science (BUT because we've been active in community service). Thanks for posting!

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