So she can fly........

I'm really glad that I had the opportunity to speak with some friends and our team of professionals today after the news we received from a routine check-up at the hospital with our daughter. If you don't already know....our littlest daughter has spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy, (spastic quadriplegia is the most serious and disabling form of spastic cerebral palsy)  Every year our daughter attends a routine checkup, and today we found out that her right hip is misplaced. However she's not in pain and still remains our happy little girl. Seeing the xrays while speaking with the specialist I was shocked. Here we are healthy, happy and experiencing life daily without any knowledge of our daughter's condition. I asked the specialist, "Was it something we've done?" His reply is, "No" With growth, children with cerebral palsy most likely will experience physical changes with their body, especially concerning their hips that is uncontrollable. My heart started to flutter, and all I could think of while my daughter was sitting their smiling......was once again, I'm in a position where I can't change what is, I can't protect nor console. We have been given a six month time frame with our daughter surgery's date that will consist of a VDRO, a derotation osteotomy of the femur, a DEGA, a osteotomy of the pelvis and a adductor tendor release. Three surgery's with a 3-6 month recovery period with limited movement. The surgery should tip the ball joint back into it's socket, the surgeon would like to deepen the socket and they want to pull her thigh tendons to help pull the hip back into place because she's in risk at age 7 of a hip dislocation. Pins will be used to keep everything in it's original origin. I left the hospital with my daughter and I sat in my van and cried. Every year we try and hide from illnesses hoping to stay away from the hospital with our daughter. When our daughter gets sick it's a huge ordeal keeping her away from hospitalization and intravenous. I know some people must think I'm whining, and complaining about our daughter's condition that I am completely aware about. I'm not. What people don't understand is, even getting a head cold can be a traumatic experience. Now three future operations with a 3-6 month recovery time for our daughter that doesn't understand, is stepping back 1000 times over. She will be at risk for respiratory, infection, mobility and nutrition. You betcha I cried. I not only cried for her, I cried for all of us because I was warned that it's a horrible recovery when the operation goes well. Our daughter is a high risk patient. So while I absorbed our new information, our future.....I already started to prepare our supports. Our practical therapist, and our occupational therapist is now working towards supporting our daughter mentally and physically. Ultimately (after recovery) hopes are that this is the best for her. For me, as her mother, I know it will be very hard. I reflected back when one of my sons had three lung surgeries. Witnessing him laying in the hospital bed with tubes coming out of his chest, seeing tears roll downs his cheeks made me weak. I had to remove myself and cry, I remember searching for coin because there was no debit for a coffee while breaking down in front of everyone. I felt not only alone but pathetic. You're probably wondering why I'm sharing this with you? I am because I can honestly say, it is the most difficult feeling a mother can experience as her hands are tied. It's a helpless feeling - and I only feel this when I can't protect my children from pain. I know this will be a challenging time in our life. It could be the most difficult I've faced since almost loosing my own life, since the time I couldn't bring home my premature baby......I know in my heart, my mind and soul that I personally will struggle emotionally but knowing this is just a time, and it will be a reflection like I reflect now. This is meant to be (I need to keep telling myself) because hopefully, one day in our daughter's future, she will walk. Hopefully she won't remember like her mother will.......what she went through. Hopefully this will be the last operation but that's premature hopeful thinking. While leaving the hospital today, our daughter's specialist gave me advise. He said, "Enjoy the time now, enjoy her smiles, and most importantly take time for yourself" Ironically enough.....even before this appointment I said "Yes" to a road trip and hike in the States. I leave August 1, then when I return we are going camping. We are going to continue our summer as planned, we will have fun, and be adventurous until we can't. I will write after August 15th.....when we return from camping. Hopefully after that....the wheelchair swing at our local park is up and running before our daughters surgery, so she can fly........

A photo reflection of our week!

Our annual Red Robyn dinner! 

 Back to Notch Hill

 Cathedral Grove 

 Love Teepee's

 Goat Selfies!

 Kayaking and swimming!

Boating

Go-carting and Quading!

 The food! Mango and watermelon dessert!

 Lettuce wraps with shrimp, avocado and salsa

 Sweet potato, salmon, broccoli and asparagus

 Yes more salmon (cooked in wasabi soya sauce) and sweet potatoes!

 Cookies and pulled pork for sandwiches!

 Chili! 

#experience life 

Building a childhood through endless experiences is not only developing memories, it's establishing a healthy fundamental base, so when our or your children are adults raising their own children, they will continue the healthy cycle of a good family team! 

Lets end the wait!

I know many parents waiting to adopt. The adoption process can be very stressful, and grueling with unexpected turns of events. Sadly a "match" doesn't mean there will be an official adoption placement. In fact even after placement during those six pre-placement months before the final adoption order, there can be unknown circumstances that could hinder the adoption process completely. "Adoption isn't for the weak" I always say. In a way, the process including the adoption education course, the home study (which includes interviewing your children you already have) and the criminal and health checks isn't the worst (lol) - it's the waiting. During our decade of adopting we thought we were going to move forward several times with certain children, then we would find out that we weren't moving forward at all. It was very frustrating. The frustrating part was feeling that excitement of potentially adopting a new child/children, then to find out plans have changed. The reasons are usually justified in one form or another. Regardless, during the wait nothing makes sense. I remember so vividly certain children we wanted to adopt that never transpired. The waiting game has been on my heart because of families I know are waiting, and it's so hard to explain, or to find reasoning when children are waiting for forever families. Besides the lack of possible workers in many areas, or the "match" wasn't just right - it's difficult for a potential adoptive parent to sit back and understand anything. At least I remember not understanding and questioning "why can't we" move forward with a particular child, or why is this happening? As our family grew through adoption, we started to understand the waiting. I'm so cliche and hypocritical to continue to write that everything happens for a reason, but it does regardless if we like it or not. We wouldn't have the family we have if the previous matches moved  forward. Waiting is so difficult but your child/children are worth waiting for. I remember we only wanted one boy around age eleven with minimal needs when we first starting looking for a match. That one boy never happened. Our journey then unfolded into many sibling adoptions with a few singles, and children with moderate to severe needs. I keep saying, "Only if I knew what I know now back then".... I don't have much advise for the waiting process accept to believe adoption will happen eventually. "Stay strong and dedicated" It will be the right child/children and during the right time. During the wait, keep busy, establish hobbies, enjoy what's happening around you and most importantly if you already have children at home, enjoy them because the transition when a new child/children arrives could be difficult on everyone involved. Adoption is exciting but also a time of change, and loss. We as adoptive parents wait and wait, we're so excited but we also have to remember that child/children we are waiting for might not be that excited. So as an experienced adoptive parent, adopting several times over, my advise is to take this time and somehow enjoy the waiting process. Spend more time with your husband, and your children (if you have any) do more for yourself because once you have a new adoption placement, you'll be needed 24/7. Switching the subject slightly..... I haven't been on the adoption bulletin board for a few years although tonight I glanced at it for complete curiosity sake. I noticed some children that we inquired in years ago are still on there. I personally know that some that we inquired about years ago also aged out of care. I understand the reasoning's for certain scenarios but when I noticed that "Olive" 8 years now and another little girl going by the name "Karly" 7 years now are still on the adoption bulletin board it breaks my heart. I know a little about both girls. Olive has been diagnosed with incontinentio pigmenti that effects her cognitively, and globally. She also has feeding and mobility complications. Karly has cerebral palsy. (same age as our daughter with CP) I know for these two separate girls they might age out of care (because of their special needs) IF forever adoptive families aren't found. I also know that us "crazy" larger families would adopt if approached. What's sad is, that won't happen. We have all the experience, but unfortunately most workers don't believe we're capable, or our numbers are too high. It's a stigma against large families. In fact, most of the large families I know are not only extremely experienced, they already have an established team of medical professionals, and most home school. They're also dedicated not only with adoption, it's dedication for literally forever given the children's needs. I know that my sister in law (if approached) would adopt one of these girls. So sometimes matches aren't perfect.......but having a forever placement is and hopefully for these two girls on the adoption bulletin board, their wait for that perfect adoptive home isn't forever either. This is where I understand and respect the matching and waiting process, although (cause I'm also the devils advocate) I think sometimes our system needs to have a little faith, and take a closer look at the inquiring families a lot more openly so these children aren't continuing to wait. Us adoptive parents have a hard time waiting but most importantly the children do. (Especially the children that know an adoptive family is being searched for) I can't imagine living in a world with no family, a place to say, "I'm going home for Christmas" as an adult. OR for Olive and Karly's future, it could mean an institution or a group home unless the foster family decides to continue their full time care after the age of nineteen. There is so many children in our province, in our country and of course in our world that need stability, that need a brighter future - I hope for them, our world changes, our political process becomes a little more accepting during the matching, the waiting is somehow a little less, for all of us to support what's best for the child - and that's having a family regardless if that potential adoptive family has no children or sixteen. As long as their capabilities can meet the needs of the child, and there is no risk of an adoption breakdown -lets find waiting children homes! If you live in British Columbia, Canada and are interested in adopting, or have already - check out our adoption bulletin board and hopefully their wait and yours will be over. http://www.mcf.gov.bc.ca/Adoption/bulletin_external/index.htm I'm completely for recruiting new adoptive families, and supporting what touches my heart. That's children, and every child needs a family. Lets end the wait!

"Put another dime in the jukebox, baby!"

Saturday my husband had the opportunity to race Rusty Wallace's Nascar. He's slowly building his own car that should be ready for next years racing. My husband is a kid at heart and for all our boys, racing starts at age eleven at the track, - more great opportunities and memories coming our children's way! My husband is seen below.....

While he was away, we had our own dance party. It was our littlest daughter's 7th birthday and she loves music. (We danced for so many hours, my legs hurt the next day) The best part of her birthday was on Sunday simply blowing out her candles. So we sang "Happy Birthday" while she blew out her candles over and over again. We had one of her friends over and some grandparents. Her Auntie made her a Sesame Street cake consisting of Elmo, Cookie Monster and Big Bird. Funny, Elmo looks content sitting on top saying, "Oh hum" while the Cookie Monster is looking like he's not sure with his bugged out eyes questioning, "Who's on my head!?" then there's Big Bird not so big anymore......looking squished with his tongue hanging out not able to say a word! It's a cute comical cake. Our weekend was fun and most importantly our daughter had a wonderful birthday! And now all our children are singing, 
 I love rock and roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock and roll
So come and take your time and dance with me
Ow! - she received a musical birthday card from her Grandma and Grampa, and it hasn't stopped playing! 

How to order pizza by my son Corey!

When my son and his friends ordered pizza, this is what they did. One of my sons is a comedian! lol 

SO TRUE! 43 things only girls with curly hair understand!

1. You always have a hair tie on your wrist. (And one in your purse for when the one on your wrist inevitably breaks.)
2. “No, you can’t borrow my hair tie. The slightest change in humidity or a strong gust of wind could easily render my hair completely incapable of looking like it belongs on a human.”
3. You went through a bang phase. It did not go well.
4. Any haircut shorter than shoulder length is usually not very flattering–but that didn’t stop you from trying to go short at least once.
5. Most of your trust issues stem from when your hairdresser left you to move to another city. You contemplated following her.
6. You really relate to Anne Hathaway in “The Princess Diaries” BEFORE her makeover.
7. Argan oil quite literally changed your life, and now you go through bottles like boyfriends.
8. You don’t own a brush. You only have a comb, which you only use on your hair in the shower during the conditioning process.
9. Before deciding to straighten your hair, you check the weather for the next three days. If there’s any chance of rain or humidity, you completely abandon the idea.
10. “Your hair looks SO good straight! You should straighten it more often.” This is one of the worst backhanded compliments you could ever give us. Does that mean you think it looks shitty curly?
11. “Your hair is so poufy!” Another backhanded compliment. Ugh, go away.
12. You secretly hate Taylor Swift because she traded in her long, curly blonde locks for a short, straight pixie style. Traitor.
13. You’ve gotten out of bed early while having a man over to apply curl cream, because bedhead is real and it’s scary to wake up next to that.
14. If anyone knew how often you really wash your hair, they would be seriously grossed out. YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND!
15. You need a minimum of six products in your hair at all times. Four of them cost more than your rent and one of them is illegal in nine states.
16. You often show up to places with wet hair. What are we supposed to do, wait six to eight hours for it to dry before leaving the house? Let me live my life.
17. You could never commit a crime because you shed a trail of hair everywhere you go. Even Detective Tutuola on “Law and Order: SVU” would be able to figure that one out all by himself.
18. “Can I pull one of your curls?” No. Just all sorts of no. If you try, I will ninja-swipe your hand so quickly, your head will spin. You can’t touch it, you can’t braid it, and you can’t even get too close to it. Curls are like a soufflé: one wrong move, and it will all go to shit.
19. “Did you know you have something in your hair?” The answer is always no. There could be a family of birds building a life in there and I wouldn’t know unless you pointed it out. If you don’t lend me a hand in excavating the piece of food or small creature from this labyrinth, I’ll sit there picking at my hair for eternity. 
20. You find a bobby pin in your hair six days and two showers after you last remember wearing bobby pins in your hair.
21. Whenever other girls say something like, “I wish I had your hair,” you smile and say thank you–but deep down, you know they would go crazy if they had to deal with the kind of upkeep and maintenance this hair requires.
22. You do the same thing to your hair every day, but it never looks the same twice. Each day is a gamble, and some days you lose big time.
23. “Is that your natural hair?” No, I pin curl my hair and then go into a steam room every single day to achieve this ‘wet poodle’ look. It’s exhausting.
24. The idea of a man running his fingers through your hair is not sexy. It’s terrifying. Think of the frizz!
25. You buy regular-sized shampoo bottles and jumbo-sized conditioner, because that’s the only way you’ll ever run out of the two at the same time.
26. Your maintenance man hates you because you’ve called him twice this month to unclog the hair from your shower drain. Sorry, Joe.
27. You feel like an idiot for using mousse that dried out your hair for all those years. Curl cream changed the game completely.
28. A little rain is like a kiss from the hair fairies that adds bounce while dampening the frizz. On the other hand, humidity without rain is the devil.
29. Bobby pins don’t work on the baby hairs around the frame of your face. You’re stuck with this frizz for life.
30. Guys always compliment you on how good your hair smells.
31. By the end of a hot, summer day, the hair around the nape of your neck has formed a rat’s nest that can only be untangled in the shower with a quarter cup of conditioner and a small offering to the hair gods.
32. A halo of frizz is around your head in every single picture you take.
33. Once you have your hair up in a ponytail, there’s no going back.
34. People are always picking stray hairs off your clothes. Please stop doing this. If you pick one, five more will come to replace it.
35. “Your hair makes me really want curly fries.” This is not a joke. A guy actually said this to me.
36. Updos actually are a joke.
37. You’ve spent a small fortune on hair products, but sometimes the best thing for your hair is a little bit of water.
38. Your hairstyle can never really change that much.
39. Straightening your hair requires at least an hour of time, and even when it’s straight, people still compliment you on your “wavy” hair. Well, at least it’s a step in the right direction.
40. Even with straight hair, you can never rock a “sleek” ponytail. Your hair just looks like an actual pony’s tail.
41. For some reason, guys love driving with the windows down. Unless you want me to show up to dinner looking like a failed science experiment, I’m going to need you to roll up the damn windows.
42. New hairdresser: “Where’s your natural part?” You:
43. “Travel-sized conditioner” LOL. You mean “one-time use conditioner”?
44. Post by crismontyy

No place like home.......this & a little bit of that!

We have been going on day trips since we've been home from our road trip. We had a beautiful day at our local beach, a great day at our friends house and we were able to go boating for the afternoon. Other then that, I have slipped in a doctors appointment while focusing on writing letters about our community wheelchair swing. It's currently still being ramified. More signs are being placed to hopefully educate for it's intended use. The problem will still remain....if anyone is using the swing without a wheelchair, the swing will become damaged and it's a liability for our city. I hope with publicity and with constant reminders, the swing will forever be a part of our community. There is no date on when the swing will be usable until all the solutions are met. Us parents are the voice for our children, and for their futures. There was a time I was very reserved, very shy...my opinion was my own. Thankfully after adoption (ha ha) I've found my voice. I believe in forever homes for children, I advocate for not only adoption, for large families. I also advocate and support children with special needs. It's amazing how my personality shifted from this quiet, very hippy, "Everything happens for a reason" type person. I still believe everything happens for a reason but that doesn't mean we as parents, as human beings need to sit still and be "ok" with it. Action is louder then words. Now I am this easy going semi-reserved type person as I was but with an opinion and a voice, that has full on action when it comes to what I believe in, and what I'm passionate for. Simply advocating for adoption, supporting special needs, and of course my family and friends. Besides all this advocating, Friday I spent the day with my second oldest daughter. It was nice. I truly enjoy the maturity of our grown adult children. I've been feeling very proud of our four young adults.......they all have become these independent individuals moving forward with their lives. Definitely an interesting transition for their mother to witness. It's crazy saying this, but it's weird that we're only actively parenting twelve children. While our family branches out, our home becomes less crowded. In fact, we're starting to question, "What will we do with a home with thirteen bedrooms in our future!?" mmmmmm

Boating!

Mmmm....Do you think we need a bigger boat!?

Momma and Daughter Date Night!

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Keep strong, love unconditionally, have compassion, learn to forgive, accept differences and everything else falls into place - Me. 

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