The calm before the storm

The calm before the storm. Just in case, we're ready - if you've been reading, our week since last Thursday has resulted in multiple hospital trips. Tonight we're seeing our doctor for a follow-up for both our daughter and son. I'm not sure what the diagnoses is going to be because our daughter is still sick and our sons chest has started to crackle. I'm hoping we're at the tail-end of illnesses. Although in a week and a half, we'll be at Children's hospital for a few days. I find it relieving because we're hoping for answers with a possible conclusion. I've had a few concerned friends question how we're holding up. Even offering their help. I want to say, "I appreciate the offers" I write because I enjoy educating about our life regarding adoption, special needs and having a large family. I also write because it's my personal time to share what I'm willing to share, including my feelings and experiences being a mother of many complex children. I can't stress enough that my husband and I are a team. Everything usually moves smoothly and accordingly because my husband and I parent the same way with keeping our structure, routines and organization flowing. If I'm not home - our home still runs smoothly because my husband carries on just the way it's meant to be. We don't have respite, we don't necessarily need help. The reason being is because having someone come in - our routine is gone, our children become lost and start using this to their advantage. So it's easier for my husband and I to do everything ourselves. Here I go again.......I know, I know, and I know - if we need it within our future, we will definitely ask. I just have noticed that us saying, "No Thank You" is upsetting to some that have offered. I want to stress that when and if we need help, we will come searching for you! Be careful what you offer. lol Because I will be structuring you into our routine! So both my husband and I are completely fine "right now" My husband is a really good man. Here's a funny for you. He loves vacuum cleaners. The mucus has been flying like crazy around here. I had my hands busy, so I yell for my husband to wipe one of our children's noses quick! He goes running with the tissue in hand and wipes our daughters nose. I then yell, "Not that one! The other one!" He goes running sliding like Kramer off of Seinfield......wiping the other.

Then he says, "This would be a lot easier if I just used the vacuum cleaner and sucked all the mucus out of every ones noses around here!" Tis to the pre-spring season with constant sicknesses floating around! For us, it's like a pandemic where it's widespread jumping from one person to the next while my husband slides swiftly across the floor trying to stop the contagious flying flem! But at least we find humor with the seasonal flu!

For now, dinner is prepared, and fresh lunches are made for tomorrow and it's calm before the storm........................

Sandwiches with notes

 Spaghetti with curled noodles

Fresh Buns with dinner -

 Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

To always, always conclude, "Every day I've got to be thankful that I am (we are all) alive, and you never know - the cliche is, I guess, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, so you'd better be at peace with whatever you got going at the moment!"

"Joseph Gordon-Levitt"

My oldest son

First off - things aren't looking much better from the last time I wrote. (Health wise) Although this post is dedicated to my oldest son. The other day in the midst of my pity party I wanted to share something with our oldest son. I explained to him that we chose to adopt him from a bulletin board. It was a snip of who he was. He was turning eleven years old when we first found him out of hundreds of children to adopt. It was very exciting for us to know we've found the children we wanted to finish raising. When we first seen his picture, I remember noticing what BIG feet he had. It reminded me of counting a newborns baby toes except for he was wearing extremely massive shoes! I also noticed his wispy hair with his big bright eyes. He was a good looking boy. After accepting the proposal package, we pushed for movement. Eager new adoptive parents, we wanted our new children home. Although we had to wait another year because he was First Nations. We needed to have an exception from his band to be adopted into our family. Month after month we waited. Then came June, it was time. I explained to him that I knew he didn't want to be adopted. We also didn't want to adopt a child/children who didn't want to be adopted either. Well.....the process continued for some reason. Meant to be perhaps. For two months, every weekend we would go back and forth to his community. On our wedding anniversary, August 14th our son and his sister was placed for adoption. It was a hard transition. After all, it was just before our daughters 10th birthday and our sons 12th. Adopting older children is difficult for everyone and especially the children. That was 8 years ago this year. He's now turning 20 years old! We had more then a rough patch between 16-18 years of age. As forewarned, he sought out his birth family, seeked independence and didn't want me as his mother, us as his family. Now, he's just amazingly respectful, he seems appreciative and he reminds me over and over again that I am his Mother. He taught me something. He taught me to say, "I love you" more often. My almost 20 year old son tells me every time he sees or talks to me that he loves me. As much as I can say, "It was love at first sight" It wasn't. The first picture I saw him in, I would stare at every detail. I would look at his picture daily like you do when you give birth to a child. Love came later. I think it's really special now that he's a young adult, and we have over come, we made it together as a mother and a son. Now I can honestly say, older adoptions can work. My son and I have a good relationship. I think, a better relationship then ever before. Now, I step back. I'm his mother but he's also an adult. Instead of constantly focusing on parenting him, we hang out like adults. It's nice. He has a beautiful girlfriend I adore. A great full-time job. He interacts with all his brothers and sisters. I'm proud of him and I'm grateful he never gave up on his family, on me. He's our first success story and I know he doesn't hear it enough - that we love him. I thought I would write and explain it's difficult raising children sometimes, it's more difficult starting at age 12. I understand......and now I'm just happy I get to be a part of his next milestones in life. His adulthood. Son, if you're reading - Momma does love you, and I'm proud that you're my son. So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me, "Mom" and means it. I am honored.

Morgan Fawcett on living with FASD (Please watch)

Stand By Me | Playing For Change | Song Around the World

Fight for health and courage to survive

I contemplated writing. I'm tired. Since Friday, our weekend changed. Our second oldest son with his lung issues came to us with severe pain after a bicycle accident. He feared (we feared) that his lung collapsed again. His lung surgeon is in Victoria, so we went to the hospital where his previous surgery happened. A few hours later we learned he had a chest contusion. Bruising of his chest wall, his lung so far looks good. So he's extremely lucky but extremely sore nonetheless. Heading home he felt sick, I rolled down my car window and that's when his pain medication prescription flew out the window - the start of our weekend began............

Our one daughter started coughing on Thursday. The coughing escalated adding gagging with the occasional vomit. Then the fever started. She stopped eating and drinking. We were back syringing fluids. By Saturday night she started to worry us. Another trip to a different hospital. Three hours later we found out she has aspirated pneumonia and an ear infection. Our poor baby girl. Night after night, hour after hour she awoke choking. There was one night I caught her choking on vomit. Lucky, she sleeps next to me in her own hospital bed. I'm quick to react. At the hospital for the second time within a day, I was quiet......tired. I people watched hoping nothing they had we would catch. Realizing people were watching us as my daughter choked on her own flem. I felt I needed to state my daughter wasn't contagious. Then I did......this opened up a discussion with another woman and her husband. She shared that she has stage 4 cancer. She fought and won seventeen years ago and now it's back to kill her she explained. I was so tired.....my eyes filled with tears and I said, "You have to keep fighting" A stranger in the waiting ER room......I felt I needed to give her strength, encouragement because she matters. Her husband was sitting there silent, sad and I could tell feeling hopeless. All I could say again, "You have to fight, you are worth the fight" We both departed ways almost at the same time. I don't know if I made a difference but I left feeling different. After long hours, worry, stress in two separate hospitals within two days......not much sleep......I left feeling thankful regardless. I was reminded that whatever we all suffer from - someone is always suffering worse. My pity party ended (slightly)

I also learned something else. Dr. Phil once said that we allow ourselves to be treated the way we're treated. So if we're treated horribly - it's our own fault because we're allowing it to happen. We allow it to continue to happen. It reminds me of a abused beaten woman who never leaves her husband. Yes the husband is guilty but we're only victimized because we allow the cycle to continue. This also goes for how we allow our friends and family to treat us. If we want respect, to be treated decently.....we have to be on our own game and direct it. For me, it's difficult. I know, I know and I know. I am a peace keeper. I don't like conflict. The problem with that is, I'm an easier target for being used and abused but I believe I'm getting better, developing a thicker skin and I can feel confident addressing the issues. This comes from being hurt many times over - experiencing is learning. More then any book can offer.

To end the weekend......our son is suffering immensely from pain. He isn't coping well, which could mean somethings not just right. Our daughter is very sick and we're patiently waiting to go to Children's hospital. I could go on........because there's more but this weekend was enough. We did manage to have our one sons 10th birthday party on Sunday afternoon.

Monday (Feb 25th) our oldest daughter leaves traveling Central America then she's officially moving. For this....I have mixed feelings.

This weekend is gone.........and that I'm also grateful for. Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning to fight for health and courage to survive life. If you get too tired, fight with your eyes closed. I have.

Most Amazing Inspirational Transformation ! Nothing is impossible

Tough Mudder

I'm officially crazy. If I wasn't busy before.....I added going to my sisters boot camp, and I'm on a strict meal plan. Not just for weight loss but for health, for strength and to attend (race) Tough Mudder. http://toughmudder.com/ A friend of mine has done this difficult obstacle course in the past and this June another someone I know has signed up. (Good for you Shannon! And thank you for re-inspiring me) I on the other hand need a year for training. You're probably wondering why on earth torture myself with meal planning, boot camps and hiking hills to eventually tackle an obstacle course that consists of mud, carrying logs, climbing over brick walls and being electrocuted!? I want to because it's for myself. Being a mother of many children, I am tied down to our home base doing absolutely everything for everyone else and I want to direct what energy I have left into my own personal power to become healthy and strong. It's basically for my own satisfaction and to say I've completed a goal other then adopting! After-all, what else can I do for myself? This week I've been to Notch hill twice, and I starting a 2km run near my house plus Boot camp this Thursday squeezing in baking, our ongoing therapy appointments and homeschooling. You can do everything - I like the feeling of conquering challenges. Ever interested in joining me - message me.

 Water is my best friend!

Nature is my peace

"Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make the instrument stretch-what make you go on beyond the norm" - unknown.

This is my 400th post - minus the 250 I deleted! Never again, a deletion will occur!