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Thursday, September 10, 2015

Then I ran

It's been a challenging week. Our public school children started, our home schooled children started and our days begin at 6:30 am regardless if we slept the night before or not. We had a disease specialist appointment that confirmed my husband's spine is permanently damaged and relapsing is high. His life has drastically changed. Our future unknown. I administer his IV meds (Daptomycin) while flushing out his picc line daily. I support when he's having bouts of extreme tiredness. Yesterday I was baking six batches of apple crisp, making two dinners (so I'm relieved for one dinner the next day) while ending up scrubbing two ovens after the spill over. I started to feel miserable. I spread my five loads of laundry out, and I started making school lunches while watching my husband sleep thinking.... this has to get better. Don't get me wrong, its better then what it once was and we're alive chugging along taking it day by day BUT (the big but) just sometimes everything is questionable. Isn't it? I don't think I am the only one wondering about what life will look like in the future, and knowing this helps because it's a daily reminder that we're not alone. Now while changing the subject slightly, I managed a night out with my sister. We went and watched "A walk in the woods" with Robert Redford and Nick Nolte. It was about two friends rekindling their relationship while taking a hike along the Appalachian trail, which stretches more than 2,000 miles from Georgia to Maine. Robert Redford needed to experience living while choosing hiking to do it. It was a great movie. Funny. Enlightening. A movie that I can personally relate too. After Robert's attempt to hike the trail, he arrived home inspired to write. I won't say no more as I recommend this movie to any one feeling like I do sometimes. Honestly - the outdoors IS the answer, especially when you're feeling exhausted and confined indoors. I awoke routinely at 6:30 am, I dished out breakfast and sent five of our children to the bus stop. I watched the sunrise. (The above picture is taken through our living room window) I heard once that every one should watch the sun rise because it is suppose to bring energy to your day. A rejuvenation. I believe this. Then I ran. I ran two kilometers. (Yes only two) It's another start. As I ran I was thinking about writing. Thinking about that half marathon. Thinking about future hiking trips. Thinking about everything that rejuvenates my soul. It became once again, a new day. Are you in need of change? Look outward, and take one step in front of the other. Only you can change your own life. Changing your attitude. Owning your moments. Those are my changed thoughts for today....while leaving fresh apple crisps in the fridge with dinner made and two shinny like new ovens.  

1 comment:

  1. I think of you always and send love and prayers and hugs to you and Gerald and all the family dear Carrie! Thanks for writing!