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Saturday, August 25, 2012

"Sploosh - jump on in"

We had a wonderful day at the lake today with my sisters family. We haven't spent any time together this summer and today was the day! We had our boat and my brother in law had his, all our children had rides one after another all day long. I don't get to see my sister and her family very often. My two nieces and one nephew with his new son joined us too. That's the little guy I'm holding in the picture above. He is the sweetest six month old baby boy and our littlest daughter just loves babies, she was so happy to interact with him. Of course babies are the highlight of any occasion but for our children and especially our littlest daughter, they are our worlds gift. Today was special to me because it's been awhile. I used to be a very actively involved Auntie. Now as everyone is growing up and moving on, I don't see them anymore. It saddens me. I understand it's the course of our lives, we grow up and start families of our own. Family that was once very close seems to dwindle and all our lives change with time. I also know having a larger family has changed our dynamics so much that it has isolated us somewhat from our other family members. It kind of reminds me of my first pregnancy. I lost friends becoming a Mother. Now our only friends are far and few between. I find that our family has welcomed all our adoptive children but for some, it has changed on how our relationship once was. It's not about adoption. It's about how large we are. Who's kidding who? Our invites are minimal. Our home is full of people - us. Today just confirmed and validated my feelings that are correct. We are different. Some can't tolerate us. Don't get me wrong - we had a wonderful day. I just was aware of the obvious. Our children didn't witness my feelings of solitude nor did I want them too. On the same note; I understand. I really do and with that understanding I wouldn't change anything either. I know our dynamics have changed, I know that some might not approve or can't handle the amount of stimulation that several children can cause but they are our life. Our children. Children we love and here I write; honestly my husband and I have risked everything, relationships, family, friends and our reputation for our children. I know with our developing family we've risked that was once was, we've changed relationships and made a wedge. Concluding, I know it's us that has changed. I do apologize for my family members that are reading because I do miss you but I will not change what is, I will always be there for our children and we will move forward with who we are and still forever loving you too. I only hope and perhaps wish that we are accepted, every one of us are loved and only ask to open your heart because it can be filled with many, many people. I told my niece today that I haven't seen for a long time that our door is always open. I make enough food and we have plenty of room. That's all I can say. I made turkey caesar wraps for our picnic lunch today - I didn't think they would be popular but they were a favorite so who knows, we might have certain family come visit one day because what do I know what's popular and what's not. What is popular for us is children. In the above picture with the mushroom bucket and the little half dead flower inside was the sweetest little thing I witnessed from our littlest son. He found this flower, added water to the sand flower bucket and there it sat. He left it there. I couldn't help but take a picture because it's as simple as that, adding flowers to water and watching them thrive. Like our family - all it needs is a little nourishment. For the rest of our just need to jump on in.

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