"Who's John?"

I have Facebook. I have Facebook because I'm a responsible adult able to make proper decisions while posting usually "useful" information. I also use Facebook to keep in touch with healthy (meaning safe trusting individuals) friends and family members. Another tool I use Facebook for is following some of our older teenagers. I used to post pictures of our family because I was a proud Mother but I don't anymore. (Still proud) I know there is safety features but what does "safety" mean on the computer? My trust factor is next to nothing concerning information that I post. This is why on my blog, I'm always paying attention to what pictures or information I choose to share. For our family, no more children are allowed either computers in their rooms, (Internet access) without monitoring. We have one family computer that is not only monitored but time framed accordingly. Facebook is not allowed until they're paying their own mortgage, hydro and Internet fees. Unfortunately we do have two older sons using Facebook that I feel I can't take away unless the privilege is abused. Our younger middle sons occasionally ask if they can have Facebook because all their friends do! I'm shocked that ten year old children and younger are using a world wide publication page such as this for friendship! Our second oldest daughter continually asks for Facebook and it is and will always be, "No" (Just in case you're reading sweety) I completely understand this is every ones world and an easy way for communication. Although I grew up still in contact with my friends through what is called a "telephone" My problem about computer communication is it's misleading and misunderstood. Without careful thought children and teenagers are posting private pictures, private thoughts and releasing information to hundreds of people they claim are friends. Who has 500 plus friends? What I've also noticed is as soon as a friendship request comes in, it's accepted. Is it a friend? "NO" We have allowed our second oldest daughter MSN so she can feel socially a part of this world via computer although I've also noticed she has too many unknown friends, regardless if she claims she knows (John) from Mississauga Ontario and is posting tons of family pictures so he can see! So in order to remain on MSN, this will have to change. Internet friends aren't friends and this is what the young generation doesn't understand, being popular is not the amount of friends on your chats. Popular is a handful or less of honest trustworthy friends you can speak with face to face. As our children age and these computer requests come, it will always be "No" I truly believe once you start saying "Yes" to something it's hard to change around. So there is always careful consideration before I say "Yes" to anything. When I was growing up I could walk too and from school without worrying about predators now the predators are in every ones homes through the computer. I know our teenagers think I'm crazy and (John) isn't a predator but why is this (John) who they don't know really named (Joseph) age 49 lying and talking to young naive girls? (I'm just hypercritically thinking with a non-factual story) but is it? It's closer then you think. For us it's just not the strangers we worry about, it's "unhealthy" birth family members trying to locate, associate and ultimately twist past stories, convincing our children otherwise. We have a variety of circumstances that have and can arise because of the Internet. So call me paranoid but as my children's Mother, Facebook is not allowed. I also know they will access Facebook by sneaking on at schools, onto friends and yes, even their sibling that currently has it but I'm always aware and monitoring the situation. Our children won't miss what they never had and that's our protection at least here at home. I will continue to explain what real friends and family are; these are the people in the flesh by our side through thickness and thin.