Update........

It's Tuesday. I've been confused the past five days on which day it was. I'm home momentarily for the evening to sleep, to have a shower and see my family. Some of you have been aware that I had no Internet access except for my Blackberry phone that receives emails. My phone kept me company especially on Monday while our seventeen year old had lung surgery. Behind the phone were supportive friends that I'm so "Thankful" for. They took him down to the operating room at 3:30pm and I didn't hear anything until he rolled in from recovery at 11:30pm that evening. I will admit, I was freaking out. I didn't understand why no one didn't know anything! I couldn't believe his surgery was 6 hours with a 2 hour recovery period. I found out later they were late starting because of another emergency. There was different periods I was always walking around or sitting keeping really strong. Monday wasn't my good day. Of course, as time went on, I kept thinking the worst! At one point I was waiting in line for a coffee, a long 20 minute lineup, when I reached the till it was cash only! Of course I didn't have any cash! I paused, walked away looking for a bank machine. I sat at a chair near the bank machine and blubbered like a baby. I didn't even care that people were walking by staring at me. It really didn't make a difference to me what anyone thought. When I pulled myself together, I made my way back to the coffee lineup. Cleared my face and went back to the seventh floor. Our son is doing well. He's in a lot of pain. Currently he's hooked to the pleura-vac machine through a chest tube, he has 4 incision openings where they went in to complete his surgery. I can't exactly explain the surgery as the surgeon but in short form they cut the blisters off the top of his lung, used a white powder material that burns the lung, they scrapped his chest wall and stuck the two together. This is to prevent any further pneumothorax's. Well at least eliminate how frequent he could have them. We hope he won't have anymore, we hope he doesn't have them in his left lung as his percentages are higher then our average person. So he's recovering at the hospital. I left today. I really had a hard time deciding to leave. It reminded me when I left my third birth son at the hospital, going home without my baby because he was premature. Almost eleven years ago and it still brings tears to my eyes leaving without him. So I'm home for tonight. I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone that has been involved with me (mainly by email) My family and friends were beside us. I appreciate it deeply. So we move on in recovery mode with hopefully no complications or pneumonia. My husband has been doing great with the rest of our children, taking them swimming, biking and other activities. He even came down one day, traded me places so I can take our children to the petting zoo. That was nice. What was really nice was when they came home, our youngest told our oldest that he saw Mommy today with a BIG smile on his face! My oldest daughter texted me this which brought me home and I received such BIG hugs that I really, really needed. I love being a Mother. Sometimes I feel I don't tell my children enough that I love them. When I left, I told our seventeen year old, "I'm sorry if I don't tell you enough that I love you" because probably like every Mother, sometimes we don't feel we say it enough then something happens and reminds us the importance of saying, "I love you" (Even if I (we) say it every night!) Life, we just never know when a day can change everything. So hopefully if everything looks like it's going well with his chest xrays, he could be coming home this Thursday or Friday to start his two week recovery! AND by the way - I love all of you! (You know who you are!)