Ok...."Back to school"

School. I honestly as always have mixed feelings about our children going back to public school. I always will. We will have more children to home school in the future but until then while it feels safe to send them to the public school system they will go. Safe meaning not peer lead. Right now our children have innocent socializing and friendship building. Something that I believe is important is friendships. Hopefully developing core friends within Elementary and Middle School will direct them in healthy relationships come High School. If not, I'm definitely pulling the plug come High School for public education. Now that they're going back after the winter holidays, I'm already thinking about Spring break! Spring break is one of those times that is difficult due to weather. Two weeks of wondering what to do in the rain. The Mountain snow is getting slushy but warm enough to enjoy the sun glistening down on your face. Usually it's beautiful weather during the Spring at the Mountain. That's when we should have spent a week! Blizzards aren't fun for anyone! Even the avid skier! Otherwise if we're blessed with nice weather, I love making day trips all over the Island. One of my favorite times of year is the end of June. I'm already day dreaming about our two month vacation! It couldn't come any sooner! Going back to school after the winter vacation is no where near the preparation as going back to school in September. I am ahead of the game with my baking! Some of our children have nice new wardrobes and they seem more excited then I. Two and a half more months for Spring break and six months left of school. Time moves where we live. From now until then we're going to have big changes to look forward too! So I'm not wishing the time away but I can't wait until the time I can spend more time with my family. Perhaps since I'm thinking this way I should start planning for next Christmas! One thing I know it won't be happening in a blizzard, our children shouldn't have the fifth disease because they had it this Christmas and we will be at home! For now, it's back to school! In the meantime, we already have commitments that will take up our time! Camp Homewood, Birthday's every month, adoption planning, Graduations, planning summer vacation, fitness and creating a new craft. What we do with our time is endless and I love it that way!

2011!

On the last evening of 2010 we were invited over to our best friends/family's house. To describe our relationship would be an extended family through adoption. Without adopting, attending many adoptive family events and hosting, we wouldn't have had the pleasure of knowing and developing such a bond. I keep writing on how adoption for us hasn't been just children, it's been adding to our family in so many levels. Our children are so excited to commune together with some families that I feel it's extremely important to keep this connection going. A connection of understanding, trust and just that compassion for each and every one of us knowing we're all different and accepting each other for who we are. Even those off the wall moments are understood. Those are families we want in our life and hope to continue not just in 2011 but forever. I really believe having these connections are not only great for some of our individuals struggling or will struggle, we are families that can be a support network to each other without judgement. I've always stated that our home is open, it will always remain that way for these loving families we've come to love and know. AND what perfect way to end 2010 spending it with one of our founded family's through adoption! We had a beautifully made dinner consisting of Turkey and cabbage rolls. A dinner that seemed endless topped with homemade pies, tarts and turtles! We definitely celebrated the ending of 2010 with food! Our children have referred to them as "Auntie, Uncle and their cousins" This morning while reflecting back into 2010 it's been educating. That's my word that first enters my mind. I could probably write a book. Unfortunately for the privacy of others I wouldn't do that. I feel very content within myself knowing that I can genuinely support and honor friendships. That through-out the 2010 year I've learned to relax......in fact this happened closer to the end of the year. It was like a light-bulb where I basically decided that I'm here to do the best I can for my family, my extended families and friends. Perfectionism is non-existent, no ones perfect and everything happens for a reason. We need challenges in life to learn, so basically I'm coming into a part of my life understanding and embracing it. I also believe that with time, a high percentage of our life struggles are resolved. Perhaps this is where my calm nature surfaces and I keep telling our children to have patience. Especially our young adults. 2010 we thought we lost our oldest son to his peers. What I learned? We did momentarily. It was really hard for me, it was a shock. I even thought I had no forgiveness. What I learned in 2010 was having more patience, developing more understanding and most importantly for my son, I learned to forgive. He's home and as far as I'm concerned doing really well. I learned forever means like our wedding vows, "I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life" If anything I'm thankful that 2010 was educating for me. Just a learning process within. With writing this, I think all us parents feel this way but also won't be subjected for abusive situations. That's where time and patience is really important. January 1st. A beautiful sunny cold day for 2011. Today everyone asks what our next year looks like. I really don't want to expect but our hopes is continuing our adoptive events, enjoying our special moments with our family and friends. A trip up North to see our missed family and meet our new adoptive nephew, finish the last touches on our home and welcome our potential new children to their forever family! If I could write names of people that made 2010 significant for us I would but I know you know who you are and I thank you so much for being a part of our family! It means so much to all of us. (I cherish you in my heart) 2011 feels full of positive energy, that's all we need to say today! Happy New Year from our family to yours!

"I don't get it"

Technology is seriously driving me crazy! It was a great thoughtful gift but learning to use it is one of my frustrating complaints for the end of this year! An Ipod. Which stands for an infuriating pathological obstacle discouragement! Other known as a palm sized electronic device primarily to play music. Usually I only listen to music during car rides but I wanted something to take to the gym, pumping energizing music to keep me going! Well...."I don't get it" Technology is probably the most frustrating "obstacle" for me that turns me into a pathological infuriated discouraged human being! In the ole days with the Walkmans you bought the tapes, slipped them in and listened to music. These Ipod's need computers. It was an all day adventure learning to download music from Frostwire, then highlighting, dragging and placing the music in itunes, from there downloading onto your Ipod! I still don't get it. Or maybe "I get it" but I can't do it. I feel like the little engine that could. As I continue through my frustration chanting, "I think I can, I think I can" trying to overcome this almost impossible task! So now I have 100 songs on my Ipod. No where near my teenagers Ipod's with over 500 songs! For me to download 500 songs that I like, I've beaten all odds! This is where I would loose my patience, technology isn't my expertise. I do find it fascinating that our teenagers can figure out technology easily. Not only easily but it's their way of communication. It's like a new age era where they need technology as their essential tool. Socializing has become texting. Even I'm guilty for one reason only, texting is economically cheaper then using your talking minutes on your cell phone. I can text family all over Canada at anytime from anywhere without any extra cost. My sister in law and I communicate all day long doing this! Texting our teenagers is an easy, quick way to communicate from anywhere that allows service. So I'm not all against new age technology, I understand and appreciate the benefits. I just feel old school. Our teenagers get frustrated with me because I'm not catching onto this whole downloading dragging thing. They keep saying, "OH Mom!" with an aggravated voice. My husband and I have no clue about online banking, Internet shopping or anything really that involves the computer. I can receive, send emails, blog and download pictures off of my camera onto my computer. Believe it or not I've had this camera for over 5 years and I still don't know how to use it properly! In fact I blame the camera! A great essay for teenagers to write would be the pros and cons on today's technology because there is definitely a high number of both. The Internet is a great tool but I've witnessed first hand on how it interferes with learning. When I was in school, I learned strictly from books. Now I've noticed our teenagers still have the books but they're not directly internalizing any learning from them. They are inserting information from the Internet. I read in a survey they found that children are accessing the Internet between ages five and ten, they are receiving a cellular phone between the ages of eight and ten, and are starting to access social networks between ages eleven and thirteen if not sooner! For me that's not shocking but when I see it physically happening in front of me, I'm blown away! (Not with our children I will add) For instance we were swimming at the public pool and I was sitting at a table watching my husband and children swimming. (I and my second oldest daughter wasn't swimming that day) Next to us was two children maybe ten years old both with laptops on facebook. My daughter who's 15 of course was mentioning to me, "Wow they have laptops and they have facebook!" I looked at her basically stating, "Not our family" I've written before we have one communal computer and it's basically for schoolwork. For our fifteen year old we allow a slotted time after a chore where she can communicate on MSN. (Facebook isn't allowed) I have it for proper communication when needed. Again technology has it pros and cons. This is a topic I can go on and on about being right or wrong with what I believe but basically we're not protecting our children from individuals on the street anymore, it's over the Internet. Our vulnerable children don't understand how easily they can become victims with a click of a mouse. For me, I feel like a victim of frustration all the time with the computer. Getting back to my Ipod (sorry jumped off topic) after adding music to this little device, I can turn it on, shuffle music and listen but it's still like my camera, "I don't get it" With time, like the little engine that could, I will. Hopefully.

"Expecting a dogs life - not"

If life was as simple as our dogs life, I would be laying in front of a fire with a teddy in my mouth too! After all - noise, people, life's circumstances doesn't seem to bother him at all. For him, as long as he's a part of our family and fed, he's content and extremely happy! Wouldn't that be nice for the rest of us?! Lately I can't complain too much as a parent because everything that we deal with is normal (considering) times twelve. I read in another blog about lowering expectations. I always talk to our children about patience, don't expect too soon or at all. Usually with time everything either pans out or it doesn't. Sometimes for me as a Mother, I become "quiet" Depending on the circumstance of any situation, I usually choose when to approach it. Basically when I feel it's "safe" too. Even I'm learning to choose my battles. I am also reminding myself not to expect different reactions from our children. Like appreciation. Like a "Thank you" I have to remember that with time comes this word called appreciation. If I go about my day remembering not to expect anything, I wouldn't become disappointed when I receive a different response that I expected to receive. Our oldest son seems to be doing really well now being back at home. I can't believe he's seventeen! I've noticed with "Mothering" it's hard to transition into relating differently with semi to adult children. I had to explain to our two oldest that it's hard for me. I'm still their Mother but now it's about their choices they make. I'm now here to either pick up the pieces or to congratulate along their way. Basically letting go holding their hand is extremely hard. I also refer to having twelve children because we do but only eight or nine join us most of the time. Something I've accepted. I'm still their Mother but I stopped expecting or forcing their presence, it's time for them to make choices and become an individual. This is one of my prime examples of lowering my expectations, being patient with appreciation because realistically they're growing up, finding their own way and will appreciate what is or what was with having years with those fundamental skills. One thing for me having such a wide age range (I hope) but not expect that it gives me the experience that I didn't have before. I'm definitely feeling good about our teen-adults and hoping this makes me more understanding for our next batch seeking Independence. Life will never be as content as our dogs life but wouldn't it be wonderful to be so satisfied? Not something to ever expect but a great thought.

"Home sweet home!"

Through-out the four days I contemplated if going away to the Mountain was a great idea. (I think we'll try anything once) We couldn't control the blizzard that happened for the whole time we were there. It made our time away "crowded" We are used to almost 4000 sq ft and we jammed into maybe 500 sq ft for four blizzarding days! We were trapped but all together for Christmas. We definitely had our 'moments' Just imagine being squished together with twelve younger individuals, your husband, a dog - all with different behaviours in a place that wasn't your own?! SO we all decided to go sleigh-riding down this steep hill. My husband had our vehicle keys and condo keys in his pocket that ripped open during sledding. An hour and a half later our oldest daughter found all of them buried in the snow bank! (Very amazing actually) In the lower left picture was our first night when all our children received their personalized mugs for Christmas. They really loved the fact their pictures were on their cups. The lower right picture we were outside getting ready for hard core sledding since most of the lifts were closed caused by high winds and snow! As you can tell, you can't see many faces because the snow felt like pellets on your bare skin! Unfortunately my husband trying to be a child re-injured his hip sledding down the hill on a BMX GT Racer! That's probably when he lost our sets of keys! The upper left picture is a family picture taken by my camera's timer. I ran in and bent in time. Believe it or not, there is a Christmas tree behind us! We took this picture just before leaving. This is the only Christmas present I wanted, it was hard to achieve but I'm very happy with it. During our time we had many different goodies and platters. Christmas dinner consisted of steak and baked potatoes! One night we had a ham with mashed potatoes & the other was spaghetti. The only traditional part was Christmas morning with the surprise of presents underneath the Christmas tree. Through-out our stay we took turns hot-tubing. An event our children will remember, hot-tubing outside while it was snowing. (Throwing snow-balls at each other) "Very relaxing"... I would occasionally look out watching the snow fall thinking out loud how beautiful it was having a white Christmas. Now that we're at home, everyone disappeared. They don't have to tell me their appreciation for the space we have, everyone running to their rooms was enough! I do ask myself would we do this again? "NOPE" It was an experience, definitely a memory but Christmas will continue to remain at home.

Off we go........"Ho ho ho"

The last week of school was interestingly sick. One by one our children came down with the fifth disease. The fifth disease also known as slap face disease is a viral infection usually infecting children between ages 5 and 15. It's a childhood rash accompanied sometimes by a fever. It's contagious until the rash appears. One of our sons had a fever for 4 days. Some of our children had no symptoms until the rash appeared. Now that the holidays have started, most of our children have mended from this illness except for one; give him a day or two, he'll be fine. We have been busy packing snow gear, sleds, skis, clothing, presents and groceries. Making last minute arrangements because we're leaving for a white Christmas. To be honest I'm used to the traditional home for the holidays although I am getting excited with all our secret plans. This year Christmas starts on Dec 22 and ends on Dec 26th! Four full days of quality family time with endless treats, board games, new movies, swimming and snow activities! Dec 22nd after unpacking our children will receive their sentimental gifts, their own pictured mugs, so they can drink hot chocolate, their Christmas night gowns and new board games. I'm really trying to make this not only a Christmas they will remember, a magical one too. Our purpose is not to spoil, it's to make memories. I smile reflecting back on my childhood Christmases when my Mother made everything for us. I awoke to a big green frog, a sock monkey and a homemade cabbage patch doll that looked like my Dad! My Mother spent many hours and thought on our gifts that was and are sentimental to me. Back then the cabbage patch dolls were extremely popular, I remember they were approximately $65.00 each! We couldn't afford these dolls but my Mother duplicated the cabbage patch kids which meant more to me then the ones from factory's. This year I made our family DVD's with music, pictures and different effects. We had a family dinner while watching the DVD's. My Mother cried, which made me cry, which made my sister cry and so on. It was a family coming together, it was touching being able to feel comfortable showing emotion with one another. That is what family is about. That's all I want for Christmas - the true meaning of family and that's being together in body and soul. My teenage daughter made a comment afterwords to me saying, "I didn't realize you still needed your Mother until now" A very observant statement and that's why a forever family for children are so important! My husband's gift hasn't arrived. It's something very special for a hard working loving husband and father. I'm not uptight that it's not here because for the first time for a long time he's leaving home. Anyone who knows us, he doesn't leave our home very often. A special occasion regardless if the missing gift doesn't arrive. We have the next week to look forward too, to spend time with and hopefully have a Christmas" that they will talk or write about like I do. Our home is a place where their story begins and hopefully never ends with endless memories of great times and love. Again, "Merry Christmas" off we go...........to snow!

"Another Memory"

Wow! The Carrie Underwood concert was awesome! She's beautiful inside and out. Her show was one of the best concerts I've seen in my life. It was just beautiful. It's hard to explain. There was a back drop behind her that stimulates movements of clouds, grass moving - like the scenery was real. During one song she swung from a tree, during another she came through the floor. Her outfit changing was amazing, during one change her dress lit up with different colors like she had fireworks underneath her! Then during one song the screen looked like a movie where she was walking towards us, stepping into a vehicle, then the real vehicle came out of no where; where she sung above the crowd. She spoke to the crowd about her life, about winning American Idol and following your dreams. She wouldn't be where she is today if she didn't take the steps, making the effort and just going for it! In one of her songs it displayed pictures through-out her life up until her marriage. She didn't come from money, life wasn't easy and her show was truly inspiring. I thought "Wow" this is great for all the young individuals out there wanting to become somebody. I really enjoyed how personally beautiful Carrie Underwood made her concert. My daughter, a friend and I walked on the ferry, took buses and sky-trains all over Vancouver for two days! Went out to Metro town, China town and walked all over downtown Vancouver. My daughter extremely enjoyed herself but she had a huge enlightenment with the street life of the city. It was really sad witnessing young woman messed up on crystal meth, picking their skin, homeless people wishing us a Merry Christmas. I wanted my daughter to see real people sick and hurting for a reason. This isn't just television. These are people that could be her birth Mother, they are someones son. It's really sad and I really believe our government should do more for the mentally ill and addicted people. I heard in Victoria they are changing one of the old Travel Lodges into a homeless shelter. Downtown on East Hastings in Vancouver needs more housing. It's unfortunate that people are hurting on the streets while we're shopping in China town, going to concerts and every night we're warm underneath blankets. When this one homeless man said, "Merry Christmas" I was instantly heart broken. I know some people have chosen this lifestyle but the percentage of the mentally ill walking the streets is high. It's their circumstances that have placed them where they are. No one is born wanting this lifestyle. I'm really glad that my daughter experienced this so we can talk and have compassion for humanity. After the concert we walked back to the hotel, tried to fall asleep around 12:30 am. By 2:30am the fire alarm went off! Normally we're trained from a young age to evacuate immediately, I on the other hand was saying, "Ignore it, some drunk pulled the alarm!" I was really tired. Well, we had to leave the building. From 2:30am to 4am we were standing outside while the fire fighters had to search the building for this "fire" Well turns out a drunk on the eleventh floor pulled the fire alarm because he thought the pop machine lights was a FIRE! Ok, I was frustrated. "I will admit it" We didn't get much sleep. By 8am the hotel lobby called and asked if we had enough towels and coffee for our morning! "WHAT?" When I answered the phone I was shocked, "Why are you calling us after being up all night?" Actually I wasn't pleasant. Turned out it was a prank caller! We dressed and left for breakfast. No compensation but an apology. After all it's not the hotels fault someone pulled the fire alarm and they have to follow safety protocols and evacuate. I do have to say my eyes were burning and my brain was hardly functioning for the day! We raced and missed our 4pm bus, caught the next one just in time for the 5pm ferry! Racing just making it! A memory that will last forever.