Dhanyawad

The other night I went out to the movies with a friend. Once or twice a month I will attend a movie. It's a great way for my brain to relax. This particular friend isn't a adoptive parent. She has two beautiful children and a wonderful husband. I met her in our community through the Elementary school approximately 4-5 years ago when one of our sons was in kindergarten. I write about how supportive our adoption family friends are. They understand us, our adoptions, our challenges and us as a group of adoptive parents support and acknowledge all our differences. It's a great network. Although - there is a few individuals that haven't adopted, that aren't adopting that support, understand and are compassionate towards our family. (I can name a few) With this particular friend described above she really touched my heart. I'm not one to outwardly present physical emotion although inside I teared. Before our movie we went for coffee where she handed me a very thoughtful gift. I won't get into great detail although the gift represented a passion of mine. A place I've frequently written about in the past, a place that I helped support with years of fundraising, a place I've not only learned some of their delicious dishes of simplistic foods to cook, a place where I learned enough to communicate with their language. Over a decade now I've been dreaming about traveling over to Nepal. Experiencing their culture and trekking through the Himalayas. Seems a bit far-fetched now that I'm raising a big family with several special needs right? My dream could have been accomplished by now, my life could have been completely different but my husband and I have sacrificed everything for our family. We've lost friends, there is distance between family members and we're judged upon almost daily. Our life can be challenging. With writing this, again as I've written before, we wouldn't want it any other way. Judgements used to bother me, now I accept them. A day not walked in our shoes is not worth any judgements to me, so I basically take anything like a grain of salt that slips in between my fingers and disappears into thin air. I've also learned to have compassion for ignorance because what we don't know or understand creates that judgement in the first place. So getting back on topic, my friend handing me this gift of sentimental handmade items from Nepal touched my heart. What was more sentimental then the items was her message. Not only has this friend shown support, understanding. compassion and not one judgemental remark towards our family.....she has shown support as a true friend towards me with my interests and my dreams. Reminding me through her thoughtfulness to keep my dreams, and that dreams do come true. My dreams to visit Nepal right now do seem far away but not unrealistic for my future. Having a supportive husband and family also paints a brighter light. Who knows what the future holds, I do know within mine as an individual, I do have dreams too that could come true. The trick is not loosing sight of it. Us as parents regardless if we have twenty or two children, we need to keep some focus on ourselves. Whatever it is........wherever it may be.......and when - keep it alive and until then, continue to practice an hour a day on you. I would like to take this opportunity to not only thank this friend but if she's reading, to know the impact of her words, not only has she re-inspired me, I witnessed a true friend.

"A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably without judgements" - William Penn.

Believe it or not, there was a time I thought there was no hope for true friendship. Friends that you can trust, to believe they're your friend whole heartily. I was wrong to ever think there was no hope - I am truly blessed with a handful of true friends that carry all the attributes of realism. So not only do I feel support without judgements, understanding with compassion, reminders to be me and follow my dreams - I feel a sense of relief knowing there is true friends. Dhanyawad (Thank you) for that little piece of magic.......to start our holiday season.

Fish eyes bounce?

When I thought I had enough to do, I decided last minute that it's smoking salmon week. So today consisted of filleting and brining fish. Wednesday morning I will start smoking! Every year I smoke salmon. This year I started late but it will be done by Friday! I like it for our holiday platters and mostly throughout the year I make sushi. So in the middle of everything else on my list, I will be smelling like fine smoke with a hint of fish! It's funny because if I have to leave the Indian Chief for an outside errand, I leave as is. No point changing my clothes when my hair reeks of smoking cedar chips and salmon. "Mmm mmm" During the filleting today, our home schooled children were able to dissect the fish heads. You might think I offered such a treat but they practically begged to see what's inside a fish head. So if you have a weak stomach, stop here and don't proceed browsing the pictures posted below. lol The fourth picture is a fish head cut in half, our son wanted every little organ, all the little pieces collected and recognized before he was finished. It reminded me of myself when I was a child. I wanted to see if the fish eyeballs bounced. Today our son wanted to see how big the fish brain was. It was small. Although learning about the fish brains was fascinating. Fish do have a cerebellum which is the prominent structure in the brain of a fish. They sense pressure, maintain balance and regulate muscle movements. Although their brains are not sufficiently developed to allow them to sense fear or pain. So rest assured, these little fishes knew nothing before hitting our sink! We also learned that fish do have tongues. It's called basihyal, a bony structure on the floor of it's mouth that resembles a tongue. It doesn't have taste buds, it isn't muscular and it has limited range of motion. From what we understand, it definitely resembles a tongue but it doesn't act like one - the only reason it's there is to protect the aorta which lies very close to the mouth. Most fish have colour vision. I suggested for our son to try and bounce the eye although it was just too sticky. Which leads me questioning, "Do they bounce?" Who knows.....a mystery not solved today. Fish heh - weird creatures but they sure make some awesome smoked salmon!

Going Crazy

We had a great day! It was a beautiful day outdoors. We decided to pack up our cooler, treat our children out to McDonald's and head to a local park. One of our children made the comment about having "Mc-diarrhea" Then our littlest son yelled, "I don't want diarrhea!" I was thinking to myself, "Nope, I'm definitely not having diarrhea" Just a funny conversation between children. Writing of funnies, our children always ask where are we going......I always respond, "We're going crazy!" Again, our littlest son pipes up with excitement yelling to his brothers and sisters, "We are going CRAZY!" and off we go.......While at crazy (the park) we designed our own leaf heart seen above. We had some of our children sit inside of it and I continued to take photographs. My blog picture title changes once in awhile for the added change, added spice (also seen way up top) some of our hands posing together on a log. We had fun today taking pictures. Our children played on the oceans edge, they played grounders on the playground and when I wanted to leave - they didn't ironically! The rest of our weekend consists of a game night (Saturday night) and swimming on Sunday. I leave you with some "fun" pictures of our weekend.

A total of 16 years together

Thumbs up!

Beach on!

Shadow Hearts

My quote for this weekend is, "Wherever you go, go with all your heart" - Confucius

Chances are higher

We've been fairly busy with different specialist appointments. When you have as many children as we do....the chances are higher for some medical situations. In fact we have heart, lung and kidney medical concerns with three of our children. Plus a Neurologist. One of our daughters is followed by a cardiologist every two years, our one son has had several spontaneous pneumothoraces resulting in lung surgery. We have another son being tested because one of his kidneys stopped growing and is no longer functioning. With these tests, they're also testing the functioning one. I feel I've seen everything when I worked in a first aid room and I was also mentally strong coping with any scenario. When it's your own children, it's a completely different story. When my teenage son teared with burning pain from chest tubes, I had to leave his bedside to strengthen my composure. Every time he would come to me frightened saying, "Mom I think it's happened again" I would ask him his symptoms and sure enough, we packed knowing we wouldn't return from the hospital for days as my heart sunk. Our daughter had blood shot eyes from physical pain after nine attempts inserting a catheter for a simple urine collection with no sedation. We have had several experiences with the hospital throughout our twenty two years of raising children. You would think it would get easier. Today there was four attempts for an IV in one of our sons. During the fourth try I was begging inside my own mind for it to work. "Please....." I feel I have no control. Although today, I knew if the fourth attempt didn't accept, I would be stopping the process very quickly by demanding a new nurse or referring us over to the Children's Hospital. Yes tests are necessary but not by amateurs on my children. (Or on their behalf, two tries and switch nurses) For this particular son we are waiting for his results, the conclusion onto what's next is still unknown. There has been talk about a Nephrectomy, a removal of his non-functioning kidney in his future. What the future holds......I don't know for any of us. I try not to worry about what I can't control and take one day at a time. Knowing that everything usually works out in the end. I trust that. It's the in between time witnessing your children endure the pain and suffering that you can't control. It's a very helpless feeling as a Mother. My husband can't attend tests and procedures that involve needles, or the sight of blood because he will pass out. So it's me. I'm pretty tough and became thick skinned long ago. What's really amazing is how resilient children are. Our son today after the four attempts for the IV was a trooper. For the test itself (seen above) he remained still for over 45 minutes! Afterwords, I treated him out for a nice meal and his shirt was full of stickers for a job well done. Our futures are unknown, our days can change instantly and our bodies are not machines. Every scenario that has happened, that will happen is not only a challenge in a sense emotionally, it is everything to do with experience, teaching us (teaching even me after twenty two years) on how to deal with our own emotions. Today is over while only reflecting back - I feel not only a sense of relief that it's over, I feel very proud on how our day was handled. How our son was so brave. Which leaves me knowing we have the power within ourselves to overcome most and the rest that we have troubles with, we have to have faith that with time we will. To conclude, many times I complain about our world's technology. I get very frustrated with computers, Ipads and phones. Today witnessing the medical technology was once again amazing; the imaging into our bodies. I said to myself, "I will try not to complain about our technology ever again!" It saves lives........my reminder for the day.

"We acquire the strength we have overcome" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love your team!

I

Besides our dedication to our family, my husband and I know at the end of our day, at the end of 20-40 years raising children, we have each other. If you have a significant other, remaining on the same page is a priority. Forty years from now, it could be just us. So I wanted to take this time to remind everyone to appreciate their partners, to thank them, to continue to grow, develop strength and cherish each and every day.  Not only is my husband a great father, he is an amazing husband. Someone who I am very thankful for. Enjoy another song by Johnny Reid....a very inspirational singer. For today - love your team, that's you and your significant partner that makes every day move onto the next! :)

"Good" weekend

We had an invite for dinner on Saturday night from some friends. Pretty exciting. They made a wonderful dinner. Not very often am I sitting around asking for something to do! I think between my friend and I, we were re-wiping after each other! During our visit, our daughter really enjoyed this fish tank (seen above). In fact, we have been looking for something just like it for her bedroom. So kindly enough, our friends daughter gave this fish tank to our daughter. I thought that was very generous and thoughtful. Sometimes just those little moments makes up for all the challenging events throughout our day. I'm not sure if our friends daughter understood the meaning of this gift. Not only was it something our daughter enjoyed, it is a soothing stimulus for her nighttime routine. It will be used every night! So very appreciated. It was a very productive weekend. On Sunday I baked all day, some of our home schooled children were writing and creating posters on our ecosystem. While my husband was rearranging parts of our house. Our weekend ended with trimming some of our children's hair, having baths and settling down while watching the "Grinch" A short but productive post.

"Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort" - Paul Meyer.

What I know for sure; at the end of the day when everything is accomplished, it is a good feeling. Therefore you start fresh tomorrow - me.

Johnny Reid - A Place Called Love

Johnny Reid is my favorite singer. I leave this song with you to warm your hearts. "I believe"