FASD

While sorting out the water logged basement we keep finding memorabilia. I pulled out a hand written page of point form notes that I wrote over seven years ago! It was on FASD. (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder) I re-read what I wrote which re-clarified everything for me AGAIN! Us parents need repetition and reminders all the time and finding this semi crinkled paper was helpful regardless if I already knew it or not. So I thought I'd share with you! It reads -

Definition of FASD:

-lower levels of intelligence
-difference between verbal & non verbal reasoning abilities
-struggle with "real life" tasks & activities such as personal hygiene, following rules, helping out & communicating.
-difficulties learning new information
-problems sustaining attention/concentration
-difficulties problem solving, organization, planning, monitoring one's emotions.
-difficulties recognizing limits and boundaries.
-no cause & effect.

Problem Solving:

-anticipate problems and help make a plan
-establish clear rules, limits and expectations
-reduce the amount of talking & reminding
-positive reinforcement & logical consequences
-support and celebrate strengths
-become knowledgeable
-black and white directions
-patience, simple steps & take a step back

Remember their history!

-significant early neglect
-disrupted attachment relationships
-exposure to domestic violence
-physical/sexual abuse
-family history of mental health issues (depression, lower IQ, bipolar, drug & alcohol)
-children require patience, understanding and additional support.

For us, all of this is true. We also tweak our parenting accordingly for each of our children. What works best. Amazing what you can find when you're not looking for it! Remember FASD is brain damage caused by alcohol during pregnancy. The above picture is a sample of what alcohol causes. For us, we don't necessarily notice any facial features in our children. It's behavior. Another reminder trick; we just close our eyes.....and we can hear the damage. I thought I'd write this because if you're not raising children with FASD, you will experience a child with FASD and they will appear to be physically normal and instead of questioning, "Why is this child acting this way?" NOW you might already have the answer because this is definitely a special need many are unaware of. (Having this bit of education helps) So many children are undiagnosed and struggling along side with their teachers, and only if everyone can be educated more to deal with this disorder. To conclude, if anything - preach, alcohol during pregnancy damages a person's life because they will have to live with it forever.

Ice to fire

On Saturday we decided to hike a local lake. When we arrived we were surprised to find it ice covered. It was beautiful. Our children were trying to skip rocks across the thinly ice covered lake.....their rocks just slid smoothly and silently several feet. So we had a competition on whose object slid the farthest. We normally don't see ice on lakes unless it's Charlie Lake up North! So it was an awesome experience for most of us. We plan on going back because there is tons of different paths along the lake to walk. It was amazingly busy with people walking, running and even biking through the trails. The parking lot was full. The weather was crisp but it reminded us of a spring day. I myself become antsy with the weather, I love the great outdoors and while the weather improves, the more we will venture off! The outdoors is better then a day in school I'd say! I can't wait to surprise our children with day adventures while skipping class. For dinner we decided to have a bon fire at our local beach. Seen above is some of us roasting weenies around a fire. Even the smell of smoke made me happy knowing summer is around the corner! Here we are, January 19th in the midst of winter pretending it's a summer day. From ice to fire - experiencing life brings out the best in us. Before anything, enjoying our surroundings that nature provides is our best medicine!

Taking the bull by its horns

This week was productive......well every week is productive in one way or another. I won't be bias and say it's a large family trait for effectiveness because I know most families are although I personally feel for us, (for myself) that the more children we have, the more efficient I am. Weird? I think other parents from larger families will agree with me. For instance this week, we had eleven optometrist appointments over three days. Amazingly out of our eleven children only three needed glasses. We started speech therapy in a new location, three of our girls will be starting voice and piano lessons and the spring session of therapeutic horse riding is just around the corner. Next week eleven of our children will be seeing the dentist within one appointment. Our Occupational and Practical therapists come to our home but it's definitely a field trip feeling when we're attending other therapies and appointments outside our home. Our one daughter hasn't been well, she's on and off with her health. So we're on a waiting list for the Children's hospital. (Hopefully soon) In the midst of our daily life with several different scenarios throughout each and every day, I and another friend planned Christmas 2013. I know I've written this before, I was adamant about not going ever again during Christmas but it's worth a second try! We're going to our local ski mountain for Christmas! Two families consisting of 25 plus people in a chalet. Skiing, snowboarding, snow tubing - you name it, that's Christmas. Over dinner one evening I explained to our children that we're tired of the hype over materialistic goods, the want when the need isn't there. Our tradition is slowly changing.......no more following society's commercialism. No more broken toys a day later. We are going to spend Christmas together having fun regardless if it's a blizzard or if we become ill over contaminated hot-tubs. We like adventures. I know my friend that's joining us loves living on the edge because I haven't scared her and her family off yet! So it's a done-deal! When I suggest change, I'm an individual 99% working on my words to become actions. What I do know is....nothing happens unless you take the bull by its horns - my meaning is tackling the challenges and coming out on top. Nothing is impossible. Productive for me is completion with anything, it can consist of laundry, baking for the week, attending all appointments, completing eye and dentist exams and yes, looking into the future preparing months in advance. Seen below; I love this picture, a bear diving for what he wants. We should all learn to dive in and reach for our goals! My thoughts today - plan, prepare and believe in tomorrow and remember, every day is a new day. So choose to wake up on the right side of the bed and become productive!

"It's your turn....share your experiences with God"

I know many of you reading don't post directly on this blog. I have a request. I'm interested in reading individual stories about their relationship with God. What was the deciding factor or change that made you realize God exists? How has believing in God changed your life? You can be anonymous. I will be completely honored to read your personal journey and I'm sure many others will be too. Please take a moment to share, this is your chance! Thank you!

Recruiting idea - "Baby steps"

Having a little baby is absolutely wonderful. Our whole family is enjoying our new son. He is happy, content and a going concern. (We've baby proofed everything!) He's just learning to walk. We never thought we would have a little baby. Larger families aren't prime candidates to adopt babies. I also believed we had our time raising babies so I always thought about other families that haven't, should have that chance. (Not that we'd be a choice anyways) Our baby is a sibling to some of our children we already adopted. This is the only reason why we're so fortunate. We weren't looking to adopt again but I do have to say, he's brought much joy to our family. Adopting really young children definitely has it's benefits. The risk for attachment issues are much lower. It's been one month and he's already showing attachment. He seems to know who his Mom and Dad is. We have the next fifteen years at least (maybe) before he really wants to spread his wings. He's a beautiful baby boy. People don't believe we're done adopting. I know we say we are. I also know that we're getting older and I'm really hoping birth parents aren't having anymore babies! Apparently not - so hopefully not. It doesn't stop me as an adoptive parent thinking about all the children waiting for a family. I often think about the children with more needs, for example there was and perhaps still is a teenager boy with cerebral palsy in foster care. I've seen how hard it is for a child aging out of the foster care system without a family, I can't imagine not having a family aging out with special needs. I know there is supports in place, connections are made but I can't believe it's the same as having a family. Special individuals change people into more compassionate accepting human beings. Our daughter lights up every room. When we first thought about adoption, honestly, we were afraid of taking on a special needs child. We thought having a child with more needs would limit our family. They're legitimate thoughts although that's all they were. We learned that only fear held us back and there is no limitations except for the mind. Of course we pack more, it takes us longer to get somewhere, we do have several different challenges. The key is, it's only a challenge not a restriction. We told our adoption worker that if we could of done things differently knowing what we know now, we would have adopted from the beginning more moderate to severe special needs children. So if you're thinking about adoption ask yourself what do you want your future to hold?  What can you handle? If you don't know, visit a family that does. I was thinking about the adoption education course - again. I think it's quite limited. I came up with a great idea! Adding a day for the potential adoptive parents to spend time with another adoptive family. A family with several types of special needs. That way it will help with all the unknowns, the fears behind adoption, behind special needs. Perhaps more children with special needs will be adopted. Educating through a book is nothing in comparison to practical education with real children. Thinking back, if we had that chance to spend sometime with other adoptive families, our path of adopting could of looked slightly different. There is several adoption related events that happen throughout the year that will provide this, where potential adoptive parents can attend too although I think a personal visit to an adoptive home for at least 4 hrs would provide some insight. My big thoughts for today. I'm always thinking, I'm always blabbing. Imagine, I used to be a very shy person. Big special families change you, they do and for the positive! AND if it's crossing your mind for us to be the test pilots, sure why not - anything for a special needs child to find their forever home, starting with little baby steps - visiting the real deal. Did I say, "Beware?" (Kidding)


"Our whole existence is our family consisting of everything unique" - Me.

Crazy Frog - We Are The Champions (Ding a Dang Dong)

Totally!

Petition to help children with mental health issues

http://www.usedvictoria.com/classified-ad/We-are-pleading-to-anyone-who-will-listen-Please-read_18880300