"Sweet 16"

I’m not sure if this is going to be a shock to anyone or not. I know most are questioning and have questioned onto why we cancelled the adoption Christmas party this year. I did mention that it was about family obligations. That it is. I also mentioned in a previous post that there was a upcoming surprise revealed. Can you guess what it is? For over a year there has been a sibling in foster care. Born in Nov 2011. We found out in July 2011 that he was CCO, meaning he was adoptable. From then on, we applied to adopt him. We renewed our home study and completed our pre-placement visits. December 14^th we brought him home. Our new son, thirteen months old! It seemed like forever as any process but now he resides in our arms, with his siblings for many years to come. “Surprise” We kept it a secret because of all the political unknowns and also because now that we’re a large adoptive family, the excitement, the “support” from others are limited. On behave of us as the adoptive family, we are excited. We are relieved that our new son is joining his siblings. For me as his mother, I really am besides myself with joy. Every child that joins us through adoption is like another baby born to me. Not many will understand, not many will approve but we are thriving as a large family. I’ve always written about our challenges, I will always write not only to educate but to release. Most importantly to advocate for adoption, for larger families and the importance of siblings. With writing all this semi-shocking news to some, we weren’t looking to adopt. A brother was born. When you adopt……the chances are, there is siblings or siblings will be born. It’s a choice to adopt, for us…..it’s not a choice at all - they’re a package. In our case, the birth mother kept it a secret. Once revealed, we knew he should be adopted with his brother and sister. So I do apologise for the cancellation of our annual Christmas party with no explanation. Although our pre-placement visits were this week. Our Christmas gift was our new thirteen month old son, a baby. Our youngest adopted. I’ve changed my blog title to “Sweet 16” We have sixteen children and proud of it. We’re not ones to follow our society's normal. (Whatever that is) We follow our own hearts and capabilities to provide a loving and stable home to many children. Many children that are now our own. How do we do it? This is usually the number one question besides why. My answer now is……if you want 16 children, you have to be dedicated. Selfishness is not in our families vocabulary. Financially? Start baking and doing everything yourself. To conclude, for everyone that is shocked about our new adoption placement - “Merry Christmas” Christmas is full of secrets….and for the handful of people that knew, “Thank you” from the bottom of our hearts for helping us during the whole process from day one. As easy as this post may seem, it was a process many, many, many months ago. I have one friend Bonnie….I would like to thank especially for spending her evening and her day during the pre-placement visits in our home while away. She is very special. Another friend Debbie, Diane, Kara, Linda, Anne, my sister in law and my parents for being there supporting us all the way. I thank our adoption workers, the previous guardianship worker, and the Ministry. I also thank my sister for making herself available while looking after a couple of our children and I am very grateful to our children's birth family. They're wonderful. Sitting in a restaurant while away I met this group of lovely people. Four people that invited me for dinner; I would like to thank them for a lovely evening. (My next post will be written about this experience) It's amazing who we'll meet along our own journeys. For these four strangers, they really highlighted my week and now not strangers no more. Anne, who I met through this blog also was a highlight, visiting with her was very uplifting, supportive and honestly, I needed it. Anyone I missed, we are very appreciative for you supporting us! For everyone else, I apologise I never announced but with that being said, most of us know - adoption is never certain. Surprise and Merry Christmas from “Sweet 16” We are truly blessed!

Absent until Dec 15th

Wishing you a wonderful Holiday Season!

"Some of us are more guilty then others"

SADLY: The day that Albert Einstein

feared may have finally arrived.

Having coffee with friends.

A day at the beach.

Cheering on your team.

Having dinner out with your friends.

Out on an intimate date.

Having a conversation with your best friend

A visit to the museum

Enjoying the sights

Digestion verses solution

I've come to the conclusion that all of us (including myself) enable our short falls and allow other individuals to treat us disrespectfully, or use and abuse. I remember Dr. Phil once stated that our own being; our personalities, our own behaviors, the act of kindness, over giving and or the cliche statement "keeping the peace" creates our own situations. Situations simply as being talked too disrespectfully from our own children, or from other people. The situation exists because "keeping the peace" isn't actually "keeping the peace" necessarily because it's enabling the situation to continue. I'm starting to understand that addressing the situations is a more affective way to a solution, even if it hurts another to hear it. Not that I didn't know this before.......I'm completely for prevention and when prevention fails, there needs to be a solution. For me, it's a struggle with some individuals especially with other adults. I always try and swallow comments that aren't respectful towards me or something dear to my heart. I fear that addressing what bothers me will create an escalation with more drama or more disrespect. That the results for solution back fires and the situation becomes bigger, and develops resentments. So the question is, "When do you make the decision to address a disrespectful situation?" For children, it's almost immediate of course. I'm writing about adult situations, it could be with family members or close friends. Strangers.....is also a immediate response. The struggle is when it's someone close to your heart, you don't want to hurt their feelings, you don't want to be taken the wrong way, you don't want an escalation into a particular situation either. My answer....when a situation becomes to heavy to hold within your heart, you have to release it. Be patient and wait for the appropriate timing without distractions, without anger or frustration. Approaching delicate situations with individuals need to be done with love in a calm manner and also allowing an openness within your own heart to listen to their responses. In hopes that response is gentle. After all, every ones perception is different, every ones heart pumps to a different beat. I've heard several times from people that I'm a very calm natured person given many situations I've faced. I believe I am. I also believe I digest more then what I reveal too. I smile after writing that sentence.....using the word digest is perfect because what we can digest and pass thoroughly is healthy, it's what we can't digest is the problem. In order for me to remain peaceful, and to continue to have a calm natured personality I need to sometimes swallow the cliche "keep the peace" and solve the problems. I'm generically writing about this topic because it's a topic that not only exists in my life, and will until I pass....it's a topic that exists in all of us. I'm openly honest to say, "Heh, sometimes I hurt inside from peoples words" I can swallow it like a big girl too....digest and pass it but sometimes addressing it, releases and solves the situation completely. Digestion verses solution is my thoughts today. I hope my thoughts, sharing my feelings opens up solutions for you too because one thing I know for sure, I'm not alone in this place called Earth with these feelings. And I can't write this enough, "Love and respect each other as if it were our last day because we don't know when that day is" - Me.

Johnny Reid - Waiting For Christmas To Come

"A Christmas Family Reunion"

Every year my mother, sister and I attend the Chemainus Christmas Theatre. This year it was "The Gifts of the Magi" It was a play about poverty during Christmas time. With no more than one dollar and eighty-seven cents between a couple, they had to decide on how and where to spend their money. With also deciding whether to part with their own precious possessions to provide one another with a gift. In the end, they learn about a much greater gift - love. I won't write about the play any further just in case you're attending but it's a great spirit lifting event to attend with someone. Before the theatre production we always walk the streets and check out all the little local shops. Chemainus is a cute little town surviving with locally owned businesses. If you're looking for something special and unique for someone, there is the Christmas store, the Hansel and Gretel candy store and a little clothing and purse store called "Gallery 786 Inc" with great deals. The Gallery 786 Inc store is very small but the owners originally from East Africa are very welcoming, very grateful for any business that walks in. Their minimal amounts of merchandise is of good quality with amazing prices. We support their store. After our little walk of this special little town, we enjoyed once again live performances. The gifts of the Magi reminded me about how all of us get caught up in the commercialism, the impulse buying for our loved ones. I felt disappointed within myself because I'm guilty. Believe me, when I'm wandering around purchasing items for our children, I get side tracked. I see Elmo and Abby... I see a sale on something that wasn't on my list and then my list extends even longer. I don't believe I'm materialistic. Especially not for myself. I will admit, I love giving. I love surprising. Although I do know and I do feel every year that our magical material gift exchanging has to change. My husband and I just discussed that next year needs to resemble something different allowing a years warning. This is a personal journey and indeed a test for me. A tradition breaker so it won't be easy. A few years back on Christmas we attempted a family Christmas at our local Mt. That involved a blizzard, a contaminated communal hot tub and frustrating moments with all of us stuffed into a 600 sq foot condo that resulted in a extended bill from wall damage that one of our children tripped into! So this Christmas remains safe with the traditional......and after having a great evening at the theatre, I'm already re-thinking our 2013 Christmas plan. For now, my Mother just asked for everyone to be together for Christmas. Her wish. She's decided to rent her Church (with a kitchen) where we can all attend Christmas dinner! She called it, "A Christmas Family Reunion" It's going to be HUGE! We're going to unwrap the true meaning of Christmas, share this one day together and that's going to make for a very Merry Christmas! AND as a Great Aunt, I will get to see my nephews beautiful baby boy once again! Yahoo!

Merry December 1st!

Our children's designed tree takes first prize!

  
                                                                 Mom's designed tree

                                                                        The third tree

                                                          The stockings hung with care

                                                                Wilbur finished Christmas

To conclude, one of our sons continues to crack jokes, including Christmas jokes! To start the season, he asks, "What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?"

(Claustrophobic)

Apparently our dog was not!