"Fourteen children & holding!"

Many teens & adults "want" a family

2012-02-01T10:34:00.000-08:00

http://www.globaltvbc.com/6442568115/story.html

Sleep?

2012-02-01T02:15:00.000-08:00

There's not much thought in me this week. Sleep is a wonderful action that I'd love to accomplish. Most of our children have head colds and our second oldest son suffers with pneumonia. He's been sick for a good week. While at the hospital we thought he had another pneumothorax, pneumonia is the cause this time. Endless nights of vomiting. I just hope he can keep his medication in. While awoken I can't fall back to sleep which is making my days very long. It's currently 2am in the morning and 6am is approaching fast. So if you don't read any new posts lately, this is one of some reasons why. Our poor son with his lung issues........and we're keeping our fingers crossed that it doesn't collapse while it's clouded with pneumonia. Good morning Garfield.

Think about the possibilities......

2012-01-27T10:02:00.000-08:00

I know I've written on this topic before but today I'm feeling the need to explain our past feelings up until now about special needs. We were initially afraid of adopting children with special needs. Our first adoption search was strictly about one male child around age eleven with minimal needs. I know what it was......our feelings weren't afraid of a child with special needs, it was the unknown, lack of experience and education around children with more needs. The profile package looked like a life changing situation that would spiral our family into chaos. We questioned, "How would we go camping, boating or traveling?" "What would it look like for the rest of our children changing our family dynamics that way?" Somewhat unfair we thought. I love all our children but looking back now, knowing what we know, how we feel - we would have started adopting children with more special needs from the beginning. Of course this is a life time commitment, in fact it is with any child. Just simply some need more assistants than others. I find our children with minimal needs can be more challenging then our children with more special needs because of different behaviors. I will state, children grow and undiagnosed disorders surface later so if anyone is thinking about adopting a child with "minimal special needs" they can be surprised and hopefully the adoptive parents understand this before adopting. I personally believe this is where adoption break-downs occur is when parents are under the impression they adopted a perfect child. Here is my enlightenment, all our children are perfect to us! Do you know why? Because we dedicate our days to routine, to structure and our tolerance is short for chaos. Our children have come a long way and I'm very proud of them. Another enlightenment is everyone has special needs in one form or another. There is so many children in care that need adopting with moderate to severe special needs that I wish we started adopting those children from our beginning. I wouldn't trade our family because I now think this way but I will advocate for children waiting with more severe needs. How can I explain this..........without sounding redundant. Our children have changed our lives yes, in a good way. Our life is never boring, it's full of surprises, we have more laughter then the average family and all our children are developing the one personality trait I like to see most - compassion. We have fourteen children that have or will become adults with more acceptance for others differences because we live it. We acknowledge special needs not as a handicap but a normalcy and belief that with persistence you can do anything. Our family is a prime example that anything is possible. We camp, we boat, we travel, we will provide the necessary equipment or what it takes for our children to experience life to their fullest. This is when we see growth is when a child is not restricted because of their needs. For my husband and I, all our children bring us much joy. Even our dependant daughters gives us more then we could ever ask for - their love, their beautiful innocence and joy for life is a teaching for us to just relax and be happy for what is. Our life isn't for everyone but if you're considering to adopt, waiting to adopt, ask yourself if you can open your home and heart to a special needs child? You will be pleasantly surprised that that child/children will change your life for the better. Educate yourself, surround yourself with children that have special needs, come visit us! With writing this post I don't want to make it sound "easy" but it's a consideration if you can and can dedicate your life. If we could, we probably would adopt more children in our future. We didn't build a big home for nothing and we already have four almost adult children speaking of venturing on their own.......one already has. I do know it will be a child/children with higher special needs. In fact, I still have this one boy age thirteen/fourteen with CP located near always on my mind. Anyone interested? Think about his possibilities given after adoption!

Donate

2012-01-26T23:20:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago our power went out from severe winds. It was approximately 1:00am - 4:00am where our home was completely blackened. Normally in those hours we wouldn't notice but our alarm system went off awakening some of our children. From there we were hooped for any chance of sleep. We had flashlights going in almost every room! Our phone was ringing from the alarm system company and it seemed so chaotic within those hours. It was feeling somewhat foreign to me. In the morning we learned that a home burnt down during the power outage in our area. Not only was the home, two vehicles were burnt and two children ages seven and nine perished that evening. I was not going to write about this topic although I don't believe ignoring it solves heart break for this grieving community, for the families and parents that lost two young children. Nothing will bring back lives that were lost, it's devastating. My heart and prayers goes out for this family and I can't imagine their loss. I've been contemplating for days what I could do or if I should attempt to do anything? It's a hard question to answer as only days after people are grieving......and will grieve for years perhaps their life time. I understand they had no insurance and they've lost everything. I do know that if anyone wants to make clothing and other donations they can do so at the Tsow-Tun Le Lum treatment centre at 699 Capilano Rd or call 250-390-3123. I know materials, money nor food can't bring back these two little boys but they need on-going support..........so please donate and with respect, that's all I wanted to write.

April 14th! Rain or shine!

2012-01-25T10:09:00.000-08:00

It's confirmed! Write it on your calendars because it's going to be a BIG Easter Party April 14th! I'm on a mission to make this a wonderful event for all adoptive families and potential parents waiting to adopt! Come out, make friends and enjoy the supportive atmosphere and fun!

It will take place at the same hall as the Christmas party. All you need to do is bring a dish to share and spread the word to other families that don't receive AFABC emails, read this blog or isn't connected to Facebook! You can email me for details at hohnstein@shaw.ca

A few details: It will start at 3pm - 8pm. There will be an Easter hunt, different activities including face painting, tattoos, crafts, egg painting - and much, much more, door prizes for all! This event shouldn't be missed as I'm also in the process of hiring the Easter Bunny! AND looking into "real" animals for a small petting area! With possible rides! You'll have to attend to find out if I succeeded with that one! I'm on a mission not impossible!

Anyone who knows me, knows that it's important to establish friends and build relationships through adoption with other families. I can't express enough on how important it is for our children to relate with other children that come from different forms of loss, that have different special needs and to feel they're not alone. Events like these give our children much needed friendships, support and that confidence within themselves that they have connections!

SO write it on your calendar and build your family in another way, through your adoption community!

A favorite dance, work-out song! PG recommended, shuffling will become addictive!

2012-01-23T19:50:00.000-08:00

I can guarantee something

2012-01-23T18:45:00.000-08:00

Today was my catch up day. You know that neglected laundry?! It's finished. Then I made this dinner consisting of marinated steak, mashed potatoes, butternut squash with stuffing. The easiest part about this stuffing was I wasn't squishing into a bird! Then while most of our children were playing outside, I was running on my treadmill. See - if the weather doesn't allow the stairs, I have a back-up plan! Personally and honestly everyone should have a treadmill. It's elaborating and relieves stress if you have any! I feel very happy after I've accomplished some exertion. Not only that, if I can't leave my house for some reason (children) I can take 30-45 minutes running inside! So today was 45 minutes before dinner jogging at a 4.5 pace. Before and after I do 20 sit ups. This is a nice change when I can't do stairs. Sometimes I have our children just watching and or waiting for their turn. So my own personal mission continues. So I don't know if I've inspired anyone to start exercising along with me, because remember there is no excuse unless it's physically impossible. I do have an idea, the posts that have my updates - you can post a comment how you're doing. This way we can inspire together! OR secretly send me an email, I get those from time to time. I've also been learning some facts about certain foods. Did you know cinnamon balances blood sugar, boosts your metabolism and soothes inflammations? Another really great snack is edamame beans, soy nuts or almonds instead of my favorite and soft spot CHIPS! I'm not a professional trainer nor a nutritionist, just a Mother that knows minimal, learning through my own research and feeling healthier as every day goes by! I know I can out-write certain topics and it becomes repetitious but if you feel fatigued, get out walking at least ten minutes a day, it will change how you feel for the rest of your day! I guarantee it.

The last stop is home

2012-01-22T12:43:00.000-08:00

Visiting my sister in law for two evenings after two years of being a part was like a day not missed. We have so much in common and it's a breath of fresh air knowing she'll always be in my life. We met in Edmonton and we went out for dinner to my favorite place, Red Lobster. It was minus 23-ish with a slight wind-chill of something when we decided to walk to the restaurant. I think we were the only ones out there. The walk turned into running most of the way! I'm guessing 4-5 km! After dinner we walked/ran all the way back too! I know somewhat foolish but life is always an adventure when I'm around. We shopped at the West Edmonton Mall for some clothes for our children. (It was a short visit) Saturday we separated because of different flight times and for me it consisted of waiting for air shuttles and delayed air flights. From 11am until the first flight 6:40pm was a long wait! I people watched, read the Oprah magazine and listened to music. These couple of days was planned awhile ago and ironically our run-away teen called me the day before I was leaving. Unaware to her I was headed to where she was. In a previous post I was explaining on how teenagers need to find themselves, make their mistakes and come to their own conclusions on what will be. For our teens, sooner or later they want to come home. So I bought another flight ticket while in Edmonton, a birth Aunt dropped her off just before my shuttle was leaving and we came home. During the flight we didn't exchange many words although I studied her physical appearance like the first day we met at age nine. She's such a beautiful girl with so much potential and I only hope that relationships are rekindled and trust can be restored. Now the healing begins and all fourteen of our children are back in the same basket! It was a productive two days. Mostly it's great to be home. My favorite place is home........and I'm starting to realize that my husband and I can deal with almost anything! Because at times when situations feel unbearable, there is that brighter light eventually. And usually the unbearable situations is only teaching us and making us that much stronger as parents. Even our teens that will go through possible life changing events through their own soul searching, is learning. So today, regardless of the past......I feel grateful.

Experience is how life catches up with us and teaches us to love and forgive each other - Judy Collins

"Stay off my plate"

2012-01-18T16:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I stare at a blank page pondering if I should write or not. Especially on a website like this one. Through-out my years of being a Mother, (twenty two years) I've often questioned my parenting skills. Lately I've been insulted in many ways basically coming from different birth family members. It's interesting on how my parenting is questioned and judged while I'm the one adopting their children from care. It's "Ok" ironically because I know my husband and I have dedicated our life, 24/7 to hopefully make a difference and change the course of what "their" children were presented initially. Us as adoptive parents might not be perfect, we will make mistakes but our hearts and determination are in it forever. I haven't written about our recent teenager leaving and circulating through birth family but our approach was completely different compared to our first teenager. Same bio siblings, same birth family, almost identical scenario except with different twists. Our first approach didn't work with actively pursuing our first teenager, trying to convince....it seemed to push away the more we tried. Eventually everything worked out, and there is peace, respect and understanding. This time around we pulled back. We let our teen search, move around and find out the truths........while the adventure continued our home was always open with the condition that if our teen came back, it was under our rules. During the past few months there has been many stories told. So many there is no truth within a single sentence. What happens is some individuals believe stories from the teen and that causes conclusions that are detrimental to the healthy process of the teen coming home. And stories are told to the teen that are clearly fabricated and distorted to attempt to ruin the adoptive family's relationship with their adopted child. Birth family members for many reasons including guilt from the past, "entitlement" because they're a birth member or just because we're the "issue" house and allow the situation to escalate with the teen. BUT at the end of the scenario not many can or will step up and take care of this child. So why on earth get involved and make the situation worse for the adoptive family? At one point we were told that we were going to be taken to court for guardianship rights returned. I wonder what happened to that idea!? We have found out that we can't make teenagers stay home. The best approach I've found is let them figure it out, find their own truths and eventually with time....with experience meeting all these individuals that the last stop is always back home - here, with their rightful adoptive family. I've always stated there is a reason for everything. There is a reason why our children are with us and that's because they need a family. They need a stable Mother and Father. You know, I tell my children that I mean it when I say I've counted your toes, watched you sleep, stared at that first picture presented to us before placement - each and every adoption was a new birth for our family (a new birth to me) and it didn't matter how old they were. I also know that none of our children are perfect, neither am I and neither will be our journey together. Some of our teens will wander but we'll always be right here moving along, waiting and hopefully the right choices will be made. Another statement I keep making is, "It's not about me" This can mean many things in the adoption world but when I say this to our children, it means it's about them and their future because my future is already established. If I didn't care, if I was this horrible adoptive Mother - it would be all about me and reality is, I wouldn't be adopting either. So.....I'm not going to question my worth especially from birth parents opinions; I'm going to do the best I can and proceed from there with my children. On that note - have a great weekend, I won't be writing again for about 4-5 days.

Where to live.......will always be a question?

2012-01-17T12:43:00.000-08:00

I've been preparing meals all morning for our family because I'm out of Province for two days. It was actually very pleasant cooking in the kitchen while watching the snow fall. It reminds me of up North. In some ways I wish we were still located there. I miss my husbands brothers family. They have twelve children and I miss being their Auntie. We didn't live there long enough because we found it inconvenient and expensive to travel back and forth to town. We were paying another mortgage in gas alone monthly. The Country school was at least an hour bus ride one way which seemed to develop more behaviors with some of our children. The nearest city was forty-five minutes away and our family was approximately one hour. Mostly our schedules conflicted and we weren't seeing each other nearly enough. I do miss the Country atmosphere where you can see for miles, the electrical storms, the quietness of seclusion. We had eighty acres of land with a beautiful log home, our nearest neighbor was at least 2 km away. In the evening you can hear howling wolves and early mornings you awoke by yapping coyotes. We had a resident moose that seemed acclimatized with us humans. Every time we drove anywhere we were greeted with waves and smiles from our neighboring Mennonite communities. There's pros and cons about anywhere you live. I find in more populated places people aren't as friendly, everyone is in a hurry and life has to be a certain way or it's not politically correct. Being out in the middle of no where how we were didn't matter. I liked the fact we didn't know anyone. It was interesting because other children at school would question ours about what city life is like or what the ocean looks like. It doesn't matter where we are, we all get used to our surroundings and sometimes we over look the beauty that circles us. We have the ocean, the lakes, rivers and mountains that are majestic while others have that endless sky and miles of brilliant colors. For me I can appreciate the wild life, the extreme cold conditions and the differences in places. (I do miss it as much as we had experienced it) I do question what's the right location. Ultimately there isn't. If I could win the lottery, (starting with buying a ticket) I would definitely buy a home up North. That way we could juggle our life accordingly to appreciate both locations. For now, watching the snow fall.........is a reminder of what we're missing and appreciating of what we have. We're grounded where we are so traveling is our only opportunity. "See you soon sister!"

Simply love

2012-01-16T23:23:00.000-08:00

Mmmmmm..............stumped for words. The recent weather has hindered my stair climbing. I've pulled out my treadmill although I couldn't get to it. So today I ended up baking! (A Monday tradition of mine) While the day disappeared I was thinking on how nice it's been around here. Our dynamics have changed somewhat. It's changed enough where I've been switching up my time and attempting different one on ones or sometimes three on one depending on the activity. My husband took four of our boys skating on the weekend and I wish I had a camera. Poor guy fell three times! I've been taking our children to different movies according to age. It's nice for our children to take turns and have that time with their Mom and Dad. I bought loads of groceries the other night and my son and I spent some quality time together. Had dinner, talked and laughed about nothing. It's been really nice. It can be as simple as that. During our nightly routine, most of our children have their own way of being "tucked in" Some have stories, some just like a hug, others want each blanket put on, then there is our daughter that likes to hide. I will go in and find her....(under her covers)....then I yell, "BOO" then she screams and laughs hysterically every night. Life can be simple, can be fun and sometimes someone awakes on the wrong side of the bed. It's not so simple anymore. It doesn't matter what the issue is, there is no rationalizing. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is so damaging to a child's brain. I witness it daily in our home and I often have to remind my husband to just let that issue go. It's not understood. As a mother with FAS children I hate the diagnoses because it's such a hidden disability. Rarely is there facial abnormalities and when our children are behavioral people don't understand. Our children don't understand. Repetitiveness black and white instructions all the time. So I can definitely write about having a simple peaceful life but it comes with patience on a daily basis. Sometimes I believe it's better if a child's diagnoses can be seen physically so that way individuals know the reason on why their behaviors. Even the child with the behavior has no idea on why they're behaving that way. So it's difficult to pursue a consequence. I find with constant repetition and routine it helps keep life simpler. I often explain to some of our older children that life can be easier with knowledge of yourself, how you tick (inside that brain) and if there is complications......anything like depression or a mental illness; with a proper diagnoses and perhaps medication you can be a happy functional human being. I personally like waking up on the right side of the bed. Like this post it's completely lost ............stumped for words, a great simplistic life with one on ones to questioning why am I acting this way? Like today, there was bits of everything and unfortunately what we see in the mirror isn't necessarily a true reflection. Putting on skates doesn't mean my husband can skate either (lol) but one thing I do know is regardless of any damages done to our brains, we're working hard for our own cure together. Simply love.

A beautiful day!

2012-01-14T16:45:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful beautiful sunny blue skied day! Our morning was planned out where most of our children were going to the park with their Dad while I took four of our boys to the stairs! They are troupers! In fact, they are like little sponges. I think they enjoyed exercising with their Mother! Today was one of my best workouts. 2,340 stairs, 100 tricep dips then after leaving the stairs, my boys and I ran 4 km to the park to meet up with the rest of our family! It was an excellent day because mostly we were outdoors. I love the outdoors! I can't express enough on how our natural surroundings makes me so happy. The stairs is located just above the ocean. We see squirrels and eagles almost every time we go climbing! We're always meeting new people of all ages climbing stairs. The oldest was 80! I told him he needs an ipod! What was really cool about today was when our boys met each other on the stairs, they high fived each other. I thought to myself what great encouragement. Every time they made it to the top, they would ask, "How many have you done?" Not only to me but to strangers! Who would of known climbing stairs would build confidence, cheering on each other and just boosting other individuals workout. See, what my children don't realize is I'm always paying attention and I've told them that I was impressed witnessing all the high fives today! Basically it's an individual workout but today it was team-work! I've found out that exercising becomes addictive. I won't lie. It's difficult at first but with commitment and the belief you can and it gets better - you can do it! With the stairs I climb, I won't take some of our children because it can be dangerous for unbalanced people. Which means I never have a "set" time to go, it's when I can. What's really nice about some of our boys is they like to compete. So if I'm up to 15 sets, they're at 16! Very cute although I keep reminding them to pace themselves or they'll be like I was the first time I did it, stiff, sore and sometimes needing a support bar to pull yourself up from a seating position! After our morning we treated our children out for lunch, did a few errands and called it a beautiful day!

"A house full of peace"

2012-01-13T10:16:00.000-08:00

Last night our oldest daughter and her boyfriend bought us dinner at the Keg. Not only did they buy us dinner, they babysat. Before we went I made a ham dinner for fifteen and snuggled in half our children to bed. I explained the "deal" before we left. (Meaning I was relieving myself of worry) My daughter nicely reminded me she knows how to look after her siblings. During dinner my husband and I questioned what we're going to talk about. He suggested we have a staring contest! There was a rule - no talking about children or vehicles! Turned out we talked about home-schooling. Next September we're home-schooling four-five of our children. My husband and I are "Empire builders" and 90% of the time our focus is on our children. We don't sit down long so after dinner we were gone! I asked my daughter if it was "Ok" to go to Walmart! Funny, whenever we go out, we're multi-tasking. One of our sons is going to a friend's birthday party and we needed to buy a gift. That was our evening. What's really nice is not the fact we went out, it was the thought behind it. Our oldest daughter arranged all this. Her boyfriend that we adore played board games with our boys, our oldest daughter loved up her littlest sister and everything went smoothly. Our oldest son and his girlfriend was here watching the Hockey game. It was a house full of peace. Something that I always wish for, a peaceful family getting along and helping each other. Last night without our supervision it was.........a connection with siblings. My husband and I rarely travel together, especially alone. During our drive we did question what would happen if we both passed away suddenely at the same time? We have a Will that clearly outlines our wishes although nothing is 100% In fact it lead us to make an appointment to change our Will, question what anything and everything will look like if we both passed suddenely. I believe a clear path should be outlined even if we only had one child. Interesting how a night out can transpire preparations for the future. Nevertheless it was a very thoughtful and wonderful gift that we received from our oldest daughter. For me, it wasn't just about going out, it was about a family coming together. That was the biggest gift of all. PS - (My husband ate that cake!)

January 12th -Update: 2km run, 1,755 stairs and 40 tricep dips. Changing it up!

39

2012-01-10T22:50:00.000-08:00

Today I left early to renew my passport for my birthday present! I know, it's exciting. My dear friend came with me and treated me out for lunch. In the morning I wanted to dress in style, whatever "style" is. As mine consists of pulling anything out of my closet I haven't worn in awhile. My husband bought me some perfume for Christmas. Normally I don't where much scent but today with my style I had to have perfume! So a little spray here, a little spray there I was ready to go! At first it was a beautiful smell. In fact it is a beautiful smell although intoxicating! I felt so sorry for my friend while driving down the highway practically gagging with the van windows open! I decided to take out my hand sanitizer foam (the only wet item I was carrying) and I rubbed it all over my neck and wrists. The funny part was - it didn't help! All I can smell was this strong scent of perfume with alcohol from the foam sanitizer! From that point I made comments like, "I should roll in grass!" and "I hope we don't get pulled over, the police officer will make me walk a straight line!" We did make it to the passport office without any vomiting incidences. Crazy enough after all the paperwork I did for renewing my passport, it was simpler and quicker then anticipated. Soon after we went for lunch at a little fish and chip cafe. It was pretty good. Then we proceeded to this Super Warehouse where you can purchase larger quantity items. It's a warehouse where restaurant owners would purchase their goods. After that we ventured home. When I arrived home everyone was yelling, "Happy Birthday" I've received many wishes today from phone calls, to texts, to facebook and emails and "Thank you" so much for wishing me a great day! I also thank my friend for accompanying me, treated me out and being able to cope with my odor! Some of my children made me homemade cards, one card has a dime attached to it, another made this thing out of paper (not sure what it is) My oldest son bought me body soaps and soap hair products. This is the first time I have ever seen soap for hair. It's called Lush, fresh handmade cosmetics. I'm thinking this is going to be interesting. It has a jungle solid conditioner for hair that's in a bar of soap, squeaky green solid shampoo, a sugar scrub, a sea vegetable soap and a peach massage bar. I'm thinking to myself with my thick curly hair it's going to be an wild experience. Nevertheless it was really nice coming from my oldest son. My second oldest son purchased a card for me that writes; What is a Mom? She's the one who believes in you, who wants the best for you, who understands you, and most of all....who loves you. "Grateful" is not nearly enough to describe having you for a Mom. You know, I've never cared about material items......mostly being acknowledged and sometimes appreciated is all I want. So it's refreshing to sometimes feel that way and today I did. By the little taped dime in a homemade card, to our littlest son bringing me a box with his own toys in it saying, "This is for your birthday Mommy" It really did highlight my day. Then my oldest daughter, oldest son and his girlfriend and I went and watched a movie. Not a movie to share, it was horrible but the point is; we were together. Every thought, every wish, every moment made my day. Thank you very much and I'm just truly honored to have friends and family like I do. I haven't written in four days...(?)....I have decided at the end of each post I will share my strengthening goals. (An update) It will inspire me. mmmmm.......and perhaps you. Now that I'm 39, my goal is to be a strong, fit 40 year old! I have one year.

My first update - 2,340 stairs in one hour with 50 triceps dips. I remain here until I can gain more speed with less time.

The best medicine!

2012-01-06T18:18:00.000-08:00

Bloggers can write about anything. Sharing an online journal regardless the writing techniques and skill can be interesting, sometimes enlightening with ideas and sometimes somewhat inspiring reading others experiences, challenges and success stories. I've been following a few blogs myself and people are miraculous! I came across a woman's blog that she just started about conquering her own mental health, loosing weight and is launching a fundraising bicycle expedition across Canada this summer to raise funds for depression. She's on my blog list named Marina Bakker- Ayers. She hasn't posted for awhile and I read when she does. She lives here locally and is a very inspiring woman. Basically I wanted to share because lately I've been extremely happy getting back outdoors exercising. It helps accomplishing a finished workout if you have inspiration and supports behind you! Like anything we do - we can do it better with supports. My sister started me on stairs seen above about two weeks ago. My first time, I did over a thousand. I believe ten times; that included going down and up, that's one time. I struggled walking, sitting, sleeping and yes - getting on and off the toilet for three days after! (I thought I can't do this again) Crazy. The fourth day I went back out and topped my 1,740 steps to 1,989. I was worried about the after math and there wasn't any! It was like I was conditioned to explain it. Today I topped 2000 steps, 2,340 in the rain to be exact! Every time I go, I want to accomplish more steps with less time. I'm figuring three times a week. Right now it takes me one hour each time. I've noticed that skipping a step is easier to run stairs, it changes up the workout. See - basically I am a busy woman with my large family, seven days a week. It's not chaotic, our home is not messy or unorganized, it's completely the opposite. I bake, cook, clean, attend appointments weekly, I do one on one time, I run errands, taxi drive....well.....you name it, I'm doing it. I could have my life as an excuse but I don't. So when people explain to me that they're too busy, my response makes them think twice! I'm not doing this to gain muscle and become the next Iron "Woman" For months I haven't exercised, I started to feel tired and exhausted. I can honestly tell you exercise in the morning lifts your energy levels for the whole day! Not only that - your spirit! (If you need that kind of uplift) My husband has been getting out every night walking our dogs for 2 km around our loop. I won't go in the dark! He also feels better endurance wise. What's really interesting, I disliked going upstairs in our home. Now it's so short, quick and easy that I enjoy going up and down the stairs inside our house because it's no sweat! The past couple hours I've climbed stairs I've been using an Ipod. Listening to music can also be inspiring in so many ways, sometimes I have my whole body moving with each step. Like laundry (with music) anything can be a dance! After climbing stairs this morning I mailed off our daughters' hair after extensive research on where it should be sent. Then I came home and made a homemade chicken and rice soup with beans and carrots. Popped popcorn for their movie snack! I used to write a lot of food recipes.....then after deleting over 200 posts I haven't redeemed the interest. Although I do have to write that this popcorn has roasted garlic and pepper butter smothered all over it! I know, not very healthy BUT for our children it's delicious! Something with popcorn is, don't be shy. Add ingredients because if anything, it is healthier then the alternative and less costly! Now that I've multi -tasked while writing, I should post and get our children ready for our movie night! Have a great weekend and remember - if you're feeling sluggish, just get outside! It's the best medicine!

"G's Auto Service"

2012-01-04T13:21:00.000-08:00

Now that our children are back in school, we're booking up with multiple appointments. I'm the appointment attender while my husband is getting his "at home" business underway. His garage is looking more like a place to work. Yes, finally he's starting his own Mechanic shop soon! More likely named, "G's Auto Service" I suggested "G of all trades" (He just chuckled) So my husband has his Mechanic and Autobody tickets - he is the man that does everything with perfection behind his work! Not only does he work on vehicles, he builds boat motors and works on anything mechanical! He can weld and build houses from the ground up! From the foundation to the electrical to roofing and framing! You name it! (Although he doesn't want any house building opportunities) lol Mechanics is where he's happy. With Mechanics comes computers and a more electrical world regarding vehicles. My husband always said that he should of went to BCIT (British Columbia Institute of Technology) for Mechanical Engineering. Honestly, he's extremely smart this way! In fact he even drew up our house plans before building the whole structure himself! (Of course with inspections and followed regulations along the process) He always tells our children if you're interested in Mechanics, you're a good reader (lots of material) and excellent with math - go all the way! For myself, well...........as once written; everything I've done or have been interested in doing doesn't involve having children - go figure! Although I will honestly say that I'm content following the path we're on. For me it's one way or the other, a career or children. I love dedicating myself to our children with some allotted time for me once in awhile. I have thought about some online writing and journalism courses because one day writing a book would be a great accomplishment that I've always wanted to do since age twelve. When my life becomes "quieter" I will. I'm a believer in following dreams and putting the positive energy forth into something brings results. We are a family that is proof of that in many ways. We were told we couldn't build a home to provide room for our large family, we did on our own. We were never sure if any of our adoptions would take place but they did. We were told that one of our daughters wouldn't keep up with our active family, she does. Some individuals were unsure if a behavior could be eliminated within one of our children because of sensory issues, it did. I have a niece that's severely handicapped from being shaken at birth, she was to remain at a three month level, she interacts and now walks! Will our home-based business rise above ground? Yes. A few huge questions we're asked occasionally, "Will our littlest daughter walk?" Yes I believe so. "Will we ever adopt again?" Another serial adopter once told me, "Never say never" "Will I write a book that I talk about?" Absolutely. This is just a few examples that anything can happen with believing. Put your energy into the path you want to follow but keep in mind nothing comes easily or quickly. Have patience, a positive outlook and put your dedication and work into it. If you can do this...........your dream (realistically) will come true. Like one of our sons said before Christmas, "All I want for Christmas if for my little sister to walk!" Again, I believe she will with time and therapy. (Work) Because even mastering walking, like skiing, like building a home, a business or writing a book you need belief and power behind it that it can be done! There is no limitations and if there is.......then the first step too success is asking on how to get past that limitation stumbling block and that's usually in our own mind.

"Keep your dream alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe" - Gail Devers.

Splash!

2012-01-01T15:02:00.000-08:00

Congratulations! Some of us splashed into the ocean for the Polar Bear swim. It was the 22nd Annual Polar Bear Splash! Can you find us? (I was just taking pictures) One of our sons is completely under water in the above picture! One year I attended the Slush Cup up at Mt. Washington on skis, when I came down that hill and splashed into the ice-berg water, I gasped for air! In fact I believe my heart stopped momentarily! It was shocking.......example video displayed below: So I know all about being shockingly cold! I'm not sure about these waters above but our boys were shaking! A great beginning.....speaking of great beginnings and cold weather......a dear friend of mine and I are booking a short week cruising to Alaska! Thank you to our supportive husbands and Bon Voyage! January 1st has been successful with planning and splashing our way into a great New Year!

Mt. Washington Slush Cup 2011

2012-01-01T14:51:00.000-08:00

"Reflection and welcoming 2012!"

2011-12-31T20:38:00.000-08:00

As the night begins and ends with music, games, different activities served along with cheesecake we are rejoicing. Celebrating the end of 2011 and completely welcoming 2012! As our family reminisces the past twelve months there was three Camp Homewoods in January, March and November. Sixteen birthdays not including extended family. Last January we struggled with our kitchen fridge! I was summoned to appear in court as a witness to end the lives of an owners dogs. I will never forget Christmas 2011 when we were trapped in a 600 sq ft condo during a blizzard for four days, loosing all our keys and developing a rash from a contaminated hot-tub from feces! Throughout the year I enjoyed several short hikes in different spots along the West Coast trail. We had two (plural) pneumothoraces within six months time for our second oldest son resulting in lung surgery, then my husband battled an infection for four weeks on a IV. I attended the Permanency Planning for Youth and several different FASD workshops. We had our annual Easter adoption potluck and our Christmas Adoption Party! We also had a fundraiser event for MS (Multiple Sclerosis) a 10 km run with our team "Why not?" Some of us attended the Carrie Underwood concert in Vancouver......and we spent Canada Day at the BC Forest Discovery Centre followed by dinner at our friends house. Throughout our summer we camped, we swam, we boated, go-carted and quaded. We drove around going on multiple day trips like gypsies. In 2011 we met birth family members. We finished our home and started on our property! I've been to the States and stayed on Malcolm Island with some of our children. We visited family and friends all across the Island...........My husband and I went on a "date" Remember us sitting like dogs at the kitchen table!? We also adopted a four year old girl shitzu in August after loosing our dog Kong at the beginning of May. AND in May 2011 we had two of our new children placed with us! It's been a incredible memorable year and this was just a glimpse! The last day of 2011 consisted in enjoying the sun and making a great meal followed by cheese cake. The evening was black except for a colored disco ball twirling in our living room while everyone danced to techno music. What was really cool, our littlest daughter was dancing up a storm with Daddy! She might not be-able to walk right now but she has rhythm and she loves a great party! I don't know what 2012 entails, I do know we have everything and anything we need. I don't have a resolution. I do feel that 2012 is a year of fitness and health with smaller steps. My husband and I have decided to take more time for ourselves, together and independently while making more memories for our family. My wish for other parents is to remember we're all individuals, we all give our 99% to our family and sometimes at least once a month - give that other percent to yourself. I've realized while mothering so many children that if I don't take the time for me, that other 99% feels like 150%. It can be work. SO my last thought of 2011 is start taking time for yourself. Which concludes my year and starts 2012 yes a bit selfishly. I'm taking my percent and I'm going to use it wisely! For everyone that shared 2011 with our family, perhaps personally with me - thank you. I appreciate everyone in our life, who understands, supports and doesn't judge us for being slightly society different. I am grateful; honored in so many ways, and most importantly I recognize everyone that has been directly or indirectly involved in our life. May your 2012 be full of positive solutions, brighter days and forever memories. With love...........Carrie and "Happy New Year!"

Locks of love

2011-12-29T21:38:00.000-08:00

It's two of our girls hair! They've been bugging us for haircuts for the longest of time. I struggle every morning brushing their hair. Finally today I said, "Let's do it" BUT for a cause, "Locks of love" Locks of love is a non-profit organization that provides hair pieces for children who are suffering from long term hair loss from a medical diagnoses. Our daughters' hair was long enough to donate. Ten inches from tip to tip is the minimum length to donate needed for a hair piece. We had exactly ten inches from both our girls! There is some guidelines, so if anyone is interested please research before chopping it all off! It needs to be braided or either in a pony tail before being cut. The hair needs to be clean and dry before sending it in. They don't accept processed hair. I'm a mother that loves long hair on our girls, I especially believe that girls with special needs deserve the beautiful length regardless on how hard it is to maintain. So when I found out that they both had ten inches to donate, I thought YES lets do it! They were so happy, they feel so good and refreshed. They love their new hair-cuts and believe it or not, so do I! It's SO cute and both their hair cuts suit them. AND it's not even short! Locks of love make wigs for children that have cancer and alopecia areata (children who never grow hair) Usually these children aren't charged for the wigs especially made for them. You know.......we go throughout our days not even thinking about our world, and there is so many different life changing elements we could provide for another. I am so proud of our girls. Before their hair cut, I explained the only reason you're getting a hair cut is to put a smile on another little girls face. Not only are they happy, they are explaining their hair is making a wig for a little girl.............and are happy for that! They've been looking in the mirror, moving their head around and this is a time to celebrate because they've made a difference in the life of a sick child. Building confidence when someone is ill; I believe is really important, it gives hope and that emotional power to fight. I have a friend that suffers from alopecia, where she lost all her hair due to extreme stress. The need is higher then we all believe. When I was doing some research, I found out that it takes 12 donations of ten inches each and it costs about $1200.00 to craft a hand sewn wig! SO to end 2011 and to start a New Year we've sent in Locks of love! AND again......I'm very proud of our girls!

"That place"

2011-12-28T19:39:00.000-08:00

We've been in the process of cleaning. Once again after finishing all my laundry I found my two fluffy dogs! Many of our children struggle with the concept of cleaning. I feel that I'm constantly on them about one toy or activity at a time. That way it's easier to clean and put away. Their type of cleaning is pushing under the bed or piling on their dresser while their cupboards remain with free space. Organization is hard to teach! In fact, I'm starting to wonder if that organization is a born skill and not learned! I remember when I was a child, all my animals and dolls were placed face up in a row - around here most of the dolls are face down kicking each other in a doll pile! So that's a dilemma in some of their rooms - piling, stuffing and hiding is "cleaning" With all the mounds of toys, they don't even know what they have and if they do......they don't know where it is! SO project 200 for me is starting one BIG pile. This is when their Mother will weave through and tackle organizing their things while they help. I've done this before with not much success because if some of our children can't get dressed appropriately in the morning, how on earth would they manage to keep an organization routine in their room!? I'm truly a believer in picking and choosing battles but if they can't keep a room clean and organized, I fear their home will be disastrous in the future. (Or our home) SO I've been thinking again about ideas on how to solve the potential hoarding future I see developing with some of our children. If not signs, picture cues in every space provided for their items. That way dolls will be placed together! We do have a house rule that if they've brought out a toy to play with, they have to bring it back to their room or it's taken away. This has been successful. Now it's about their rooms. Organizing. I have another idea.....which is rotating their toys. Meaning taking some away for a period of time, rotate occasionally. That way they have less to clean up and their toys are always new. OR trade toys with another family like we do clothing. Another task for me is going through every dresser - if I didn't, some of our children will put on sizes too small regardless how it feels or what it looks like! Like fitness, it feels good to clean and organize! I just need our children to feel the same way! I can multitask and I'm extremely organized but I read if you're struggling getting things accomplished, try a timer. That way you're beating the clock to get things done! I thought this was an excellent idea to try with our children. I find that I'm constantly asking them to put this and that away, or "clean" their rooms - adding a timer sounds like an idea to try. Although I think the timer would need the digital visual, so they know time is actually moving - so they move! I'm always on a mission for the ultimate idea that works. Today was one of those deep in thought days. For me, I like my surroundings clean and organized. Including places no one sees, like closets, cupboards and even our fridge. Everything has a place to be. I think the first step is teaching our children "that place" for that item by picture cues and repetition. The trick, don't have too many items! I might sound anal although this isn't necessarily for me, this is for our children to develop these skills (hopefully) for their future. I can see life being very overwhelming if they're consumed by a mess!

It's been busy!

2011-12-28T13:46:00.000-08:00

Over ten hours of wrapping through-out the week, Christmas Eve came together around our Christmas tree at 1:30am! During Christmas Eve we played pass the present and it was successful! (no one cried) The game consists of taking a present from someone else if they want it, three times around you are left with what you're holding. I had Dora's bubble bath that I'm using for our littlest daughter. Christmas morning started at 8am. All our children found their "spot" to sit while opening their stockings, then I continued handing out their presents one by one. It's nice to enjoy the morning and to see every ones reactions. It took approximately two hours to finish unwrapping! (12 hours to wrap - 2 to unwrap) Christmas day for my husband was building toys and collecting garbage. For myself it was cooking and cleaning. I will admit it was work all day long.......we had a total of 26 people here. Mostly family and some boyfriends and girlfriends of older children. The next day we had some birth family over while serving different platters with turkey buns. They enjoyed playing puzzles at our kitchen table with some of our children. Then we had a huge platter night with some of our friends. I made a comment that we needed to invite more people with the amount of food we had! Today is the 28th, we're taking down our Christmas decorations. I love Christmas but I'm having a change in heart, a change in what my favorite season is. I've been already contemplating about changing next years Christmas to something completely different, to where my husband and I aren't swamped by materials, by food. (I will let you know next year!) My favorite season? It's summer. One fact about our family and friends, we don't need an "occasion" to get together. We just do all throughout the year. Today I awoke and accomplished 1170 stairs outside next to the ocean. 117 steps x 10 this morning! A beginning back into my healthier lifestyle I once lost. I feel rejuvenated and ready to tackle my neglected laundry! New Years for us will be quiet at home celebrating being together, entering another New Year of successes, my last year of my thirties! My oldest daughter and her boyfriend gave my husband and I a gift certificate to the Keg, an evening out on my 39th birthday (coming) which includes them babysitting! Time to celebrate and develop more plans for making memories in 2012! Now - dancing with laundry!

All I Want For Christmas is You - 7 yr old Rhema Marvanne..Truly Amazing...

2011-12-24T13:06:00.000-08:00

My sweet child

2011-12-22T23:04:00.000-08:00

Tonight we're watching "Little house on the Prairie" Christmas in Plum Creek. Little house on the Prairie is a favorite of mine. Actually I know this year under the Christmas tree for me from my husband is the complete collection. (I know because I purchased it!) It's one of those television series that touches the heart. (My heart) Meaningful with lessons to learn. Tonight while some of our children were watching, they were glued. I love Little house on the Prairie! While snowed in completely with minimal needs it's a very Merry Christmas in Plum Creek! The whole collection is selling for $100.00 that's including taxes but it's worth every penny. The whole horse n buggy, the thoughtfulness, the lessons, the whole series is inspiring to me. My step-father (father) loves Little house in the Prairie too and I've decided that it's the best gift for him. So he will also have the collection on Christmas Day. It's a gift that keeps on giving. If you're stuck for gifts, think about - The series of "Little house on the Prairie"

We've had a indifferent week, not one I want to write on......mainly medical, mostly emotional. Christmas for us is about life.....I am many things with many beliefs accordingly to our world. (spiritual) For most, Christmas is the belief that marks the birth of Jesus, the son of God. Buddhists celebrate, meaning giving kindness, love and peace to all man kind. Christmas has reasons to celebrate. None of us is different from the other...........the only difference is our walks in life and circumstances.

My sweet child I tear for, I laugh with.....and I love
my only wish is for health and happiness
I won't be here forever....
therefore;
I give my whole heart and life in hopes....
that your future is bright and not so fearful
with courage and confidence.....success and triumphs...
I wish and pray that in every New Year is successful.

Love your Mommy - and that's for all fourteen of you!

Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays.............

A little of this & that while staying "Positive!"

2011-12-20T12:48:00.000-08:00

The big day is getting close and we're ready! In fact beyond ready. Our children are extremely excited. Beyond excited! I will admit we have some escalated behaviors. There is no warnings around here, it's straight to time-outs. For the past couple of days our littlest daughter has been sick with a fever. I thought it was hard before maintaining food intake, this week it's been a challenge. With her special needs it's been also a struggle consoling her. (Very, very cranky) Last night was a long, long, long night of no sleep. I contemplated at three am staying up baking.........today is looking brighter. We have different platter nights booked with several family friends that we're looking forward too. I'm hoping we'll be able to play some board games without any incidents. Every time our children get together with other children it always goes very well. I'm looking forward to the company with yummy platters set out all over the place! We're going to start a couple different traditions this Christmas Eve and I'm getting excited to see how our children will react! Come Christmas afternoon for the first time in a very long time my Father and Mother (his wife) will be joining us. My sister's family is coming and with a new baby on the way! 2012 I'm a Great Aunt! I can't wait to purchase a few items for the upcoming baby shower! We have some birth family coming......it's going to be BUSY until the 27th! New Years Eve is being discussed. New Years Day we're taking the plunge into the ocean! Then I'm turning 39! This is my motivation year before the big 40! I want to get back into my exercising with the help of my dedicated boot camp sister! I have one year to become a fit 40 year old.......this isn't a resolution nor a dream, it's a factual goal of mine that I can accomplish because before I came too busy (excuse) I was running and going to the gym. Time for something for myself. My health and happiness. Then I'm off to Edmonton to see my lovely sister in law! 2012 I believe will be a great year. One reason is because I have my mind set in positive mode. More camping, more experiencing and more of making memories are on their way! If I haven't written it already, "Happy Holidays" everyone and may you be filled full of positive spirit for your New Year!

Adoption Christmas Party!

2011-12-18T10:50:00.000-08:00

Wow! The Adoptive Christmas party was a huge success. It was the biggest one yet! There was over twenty families! "I believe" everyone had a great time. Unfortunately I have a hard time sitting down visiting, I feel that I need to make sure everything is running accordingly so sitting for me isn't an option. So if I missed visiting with anyone, I do apologise for that! I would like to take this opportunity to thank a few people. First off, AFABC (Adoption Federation Association of BC) for supplying the funding for the hall. I extremely appreciate this. I also have some families that really help make occasions like this successful. This would be Dianne Dunbar, Cathy Gilbert, Bonnie and George Hoeft and Debbie and Shawn Carlow for helping and making each and every event awesome! My husband worked really hard before and after the party. I'm thankful for him too! Another source of support that helps with prizes and food is the Co-op company and its distributors that has suggested in supporting future adoption events. The Christmas party was fun for all which included face painting, manicures, a craft table, dancing to wii dance projected on the hall wall, a surprise visitor (Santa) and tons of great food! The manicure table seemed to be a great hit, "Thank you" to the beautiful girl who dedicated her time painting nails! One of our daughters loves her nails! We would like to continue with the Christmas and Easter parties annually located at the same place. So keep connected and stay tuned for the next spring party! For our family we really enjoy building our adoptive community. We see within our children how important it is to have and attend events to keep their friendships alive. Not only is it friendships, it's a connection of support for everyone. Most of our children know they've been adopted. Events shows they're not the only ones - that they aren't any different and there is many children like themselves either through adoption or special needs. This makes a sense of normalcy. For me adoption not only brought me a big wonderful family, it brought me friends from other adoptive families that I really love. I feel so blessed to have met and befriended the families we have. Besides hosting events for relationships and support for our children, I can say I also selfishly do it for myself too. I just love our community built through adoption. I wasn't able to show much appreciation during the Christmas party but I'm definitely filled with it for everyone that help make it successful and the families that come and take part. Families that travelled from across the Island in either direction to attend is amazing. It shows how important it is to continue with adoption related events. My Father and Mother attended from an hour and a half away. I don't say this enough.......it's so important for our children to have family. (It's important for me) But when our children see their Grandparents attending (supporting) their little faces light up with big smiles. Last night was special. Our oldest daughter and her boyfriend attended. Our oldest son attended. It was a great start to our holiday season! So "Thank you" very much to everyone! You're all amazing and Happy Holidays!

"Sure is quiet"

2011-12-16T21:50:00.000-08:00

We are ready for Christmas except for the wrapping! Just a minor detail that will take hours! I'm really excited that school is finally over for the holidays. I can't express that enough. I was grocery shopping today and a quietness occurred while waiting in several long lineups. You know how people will just look at you, throw a smile while waiting to pay for their items. It was very busy but while I stood there it was interestingly quiet. I even made a comment to the lady ahead of me, "Sure is quiet" She looked at me like I was an alien from another planet. I started questioning myself, "It must be me?" In fact it is me. Of course a grocery store such as Costco and Superstore isn't quiet, especially one week before Christmas on a Friday! I stood in lineups today in my own little world. My world is very quiet. I have the ability to tune out noise, action and different scenarios going on. My husband constantly questions me on how I do it!? I explain to him that it's the same idea as not jumping onto someones boat when they're arguing. It's not ignoring but almost a blank slate like a 747 jet, it's a peace of mind. Something I can have at any time if I choose too. Although today for the first time I didn't recognize I was doing it and that's why I commented to the lady, "Sure is quiet" when the store was completely packed full of noisy people. My lineup experiences today (to me) was so peaceful. I didn't even notice how long I was standing there. I know what it is with me.....I have "inner peace" It doesn't matter what the world is doing around me, or perhaps how chaotic it gets.....I have the understanding to keep myself strong during stress and I'm spiritually at peace within myself. To explain this to anyone, or on my blog, or to my husband I must sound like that alien but I caught myself having it today without thought. Most people would call this "spaced out" lol Not exactly. I was completely not wanting to shop at all, I was definitely making miles quickly with my squished crinkled list times two, I knew exactly what I was doing, where I was going but in my own mind it was quiet. What is interesting was I questioned reality (the noise) to my own state of harmony. (Of course I sound like an alien) If anyone is confused on what I'm writing about, for example; with our littlest daughter - if we say, "No" She closes her eyes. This in her mind is saying, "I can't see you therefore that "no" you just said doesn't exist either!" You can actually train yourself to have inner peace, silence when it's noisy or not jumping on that boat. I'm not 100% there because sometimes I need to jump onto the boat.....then I'm on a ride that perhaps I didn't want.......realizing next time don't jump. It's all about learning on how to deal with anything and our choices and our reactions always define the outcomes. Like today, I didn't want to shop but within myself I made it peaceful and quiet. It's too bad the lady in front of me didn't feel it too. Believe me, if you put your mind to it....."Sure is quiet" is a reality like anything you put your mind towards...........it's all up to you!

It's about all of us

2011-12-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

Can you see our friendly fur-friends in my pile of laundry? This is a test! Actually today was very productive. That pile of laundry went away to it's necessary places while my youngest daughter and son danced to music! Laundry can be a party! Then I had the crock pot going with a home-made sweet and sour sauce over chicken. I also made a yummy left over lunch consisting of cubed potatoes, hamburger, sausages with gravy poured over top. (I didn't eat it) But my husband loved it! My Christmas list is almost finished and I'm ready to start some baking! In the meantime, remember this Saturday is our Adoption Christmas Party, if you haven't emailed already - now is the time for details! If you haven't met me, I will be the one wearing some weird Christmas clothing but I won't spoil my attire writing about it. Just tell your children not to touch me! (ha ha) SO you have to come or you'll miss out! Last night I went to see "New Years Eve" at the movies. I really enjoyed this movie. The cast is full of different celebrities. It's a movie I recommend for anyone. I left feeling full of love with reminders about what life is really about. It's about all of us. I could complain about the piles of laundry I receive daily but it's about how we deal with it. Laundry around here is about dancing and adding your children, your animals to the piles, it's no longer a chore. I also feel really good when I'm accomplishing a lot. (Our time shouldn't be wasted) Most importantly our time together should be cherished, it should be designed for a positive outcome after our day is over. My husband keeps asking me, "How can you remain so peaceful all the time?" Honestly, if things are getting "hairy" I become quiet, I usually internalize and think about the situation. IF it's really bothersome, yes I cry........but every day I get up starting a new day with only positive thoughts and realizing that it's not just about me, it's about all of us. My mission is to make memories, to stay positive, to hopefully make a difference and with that, develop a better future for our children. This is why it works for me having so many children; I have many to focus on. This is my path. Not only is our time important for our family, it is important for everyone we care about. I always believe if you're too busy, multitask and make a phone call to someone you're thinking about because it's important to not only yourself, to that person. I always think that I'm no exception that this could be my last day, as we never know our fate. I would really be upset leaving this world knowing that I didn't call, I didn't say, "I love you" That I just complained about my laundry instead of dancing. So this little short mixed up post is about yes, again - all of us. It's raining, thank you God......we need the water in our well and what's given to us such as precipitation is a miracle in itself! Now with thoughts of others, I'm picking up my phone to call a friend I dearly love. I hope your days are filled with constant reminders on why we're here, why life is what it is, why we are learning through trial and errors and most importantly staying positive and in love with it.

Bethlehem experience

2011-12-12T22:00:00.000-08:00

We attended the Bethlehem Walk and we patiently waited in line for one hour! I took seven of our boys to this event that takes place in our community. Every year it grows by the thousands! My sons were very good waiting. I thought to myself that this was going to be "Ok" There was hundreds of people. It can definitely be very overwhelming for some. After one hour we were almost inside and my littlest son tripped on the cement curb. Blood everywhere. He landed right on his little nose, his lips and chin. Thank goodness his teeth were completely untouched. Poor little guy waited so patiently and suddenly with the quickest of slips, off he went! After cleaning him, we carried on through the Bethlehem village. It was amazing. If you haven't been and you can wait in long lineups it's worth attending. It has the feel of being in the streets of Bethlehem with street vendors, people calling out, real animals and as the picture above, real hanging meat! I can't explain enough on how real the city is.......one of my sons asked, "What happened to that chicken?" If you look closely on the table above, there is a real dead chicken. The meat vendor explained that's where the chicken meat comes from - the chicken. Which raised my eyebrows thinking, "mmmmm.... so my son isn't making the connection from the chicken on his plate to the feathered bird on the table" (This isn't one of my younger sons either) We carried on walking through the village, petting a donkey, watching some cows sleep, bumping into numerous people. I'm gathering Bethlehem was crowded in the streets. Very claustrophobic. Here I was with seven of my sons experiencing some history, I had two of our younger sons clenched to my side and another two following closely. I feared loosing someone......that's how crowded it was. While leaving Bethlehem we walked into the church hall where it was beautifully decorated. We were seated to have some hot chocolate and cookies while a choir was singing. The eight of us sat together quietly surprisingly for awhile. This was two and a half hours later, one hour past four of my sons bedtimes. The silence except for the choir singing and the beautiful atmosphere came to a sudden halt! A high pitched screaming continuous cry started from one of my sons over spilled hot chocolate. That was it.......we were done. We made our "grand" entrance in and now we were making one out. :) Believe it or not......I kept my patience, I enjoyed and really took in our experience. We came home and I put some healing cream on our sons face, tucked everyone into bed and I'm now ready to conquer another day that counts down to Christmas.

Proud of my snakes, tongues & black eyes glued by my husband!

2011-12-11T12:56:00.000-08:00

We don't know what we really look like until we get into a family picture. We are so used to our numbers that we're not fazed by our size. Going about our day is very "normal" for us. We took ten of our children to the park. My husband pointed out that if all our children were together (including adult children) we'd take over the swing set! So here we are, above is our family portrait to end 2011! (Ha ha) Except I'm taking the picture! For us to explain on how we function as a large family, we just do - we are used to our life. While down at the park, I was watching my husband interact with seven of our boys. They played for hours on this one board made for a low bench. Something we would have at home. It was a game where they would take turns trying to get someone off, the last boy standing wins. I believe they called it a "Chicken fight" It was really funny to watch. While watching not only did I have some great laughs, I thought to myself, "What a great Dad" My husband interacts with our children daily, plays with them, reads them stories and mostly he's having fun doing it. I have the full package. A hard working man of all trades and a family man who'll stop at nothing for his children. Our relationship together can be comical but mostly we also have the understanding that we're both individuals with different interests. We support each other. So when I'm away for a weekend doing first aid, hiking or a traveling experience somewhere, he's happy knowing that I'm still me. While I support him working on his race car for the next season. His garage is his solitude. Our oldest daughter is now living with her boyfriend and I always state; keep your independence. Let your boyfriend keep his. This is what keeps a relationship together. (Control will ruin any relationship) Jealousy will be your worst enemy. My husband and I don't have jealousy in our relationship. I really love my relationship with my husband. In 1997 when we first moved in together, our first "vow" was to keep our independence. Fourteen years later this still remains true. An important piece I believe to establish in any ones relationship. We might be married but we have two different personal focuses or goals for ourselves. Then our family unit bonds us together forever. As you know I'm a deep thinker; so while at the park witnessing my husband with our children, reflecting on our life as a whole, I was feeling very honored to be the wife and mother of my family. I love moments like these.......and when I'm the one taking the picture looking in, no matter what it resembles,(Snakes, tongues, black eyes, arms flailing as the picture above) I'm proud on what I see. We're not perfect, I wouldn't want it any other way and my husband is definitely our glue!

"There is some people that instantly make me smile"

2011-12-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

Tonight we attended a First Nations Christmas Celebration dinner that was hosted through our District. We nestled at the back sliding two 8 chaired tables together. A really nice surprise was one of our previous foster family's was there, a family that is now titled Grandma and Grandpa. They still foster a little boy that our now daughter used to live with, he's also still up for adoption. When we can (normally only illnesses keep us away) we attend different First Nation events and ceremonies. The dinner tonight was more special then just any other event because everyone who supports our children were there. It's a community coming together. When we first starting adopting, we sought out our local liaison workers. Two workers especially have touched our family's heart. One worker that is currently involved with our children made us a drum with all our names on it last year. A drum that has significant meaning and has become a very sentimental gift. This First Nation's Liaison worker isn't just attending a career position, she truly loves and shows compassion for our family. In a previous post I was writing about our adoption worker, as her - there is some individuals that really put their heart into peoples lives and for me raising so many children, I notice who stands out. Normally I come across very quiet, calm and silently drawn to just my family but I'm paying attention to our surroundings, to whom I feel is important - those people usually puts an instant smile on my face. This is what our liaison worker does for me, makes me smile. Just a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out. Most importantly our children love her. She shared with me that our thirteen year old son stopped her in the hallway and asked, "Can you teach me your language?" She asked him, "Yes, why?" He responded saying, "So I can talk to my mom and she wouldn't know what I was saying!" I laughed telling her, "Teach him words of love!" If I had more time, I would have explained to her that for our son to show interest is pretty significant and that in itself shows what a wonderful job she does showing our children she cares. Because I remember a time years ago where our son wouldn't even respond being spoken too, now he is openly seeking people he trusts, who shows him he's important. It's nice to witness. After dinner my husband left early with half of our children. (Some need more sleep then others) I followed later. It was a great night with drumming songs, dance performances, door prizes, raffles, gifts and a salmon, caesar salad, lasagna and hot dog meal. Something for everybody. Now that it's Friday.......we are looking forward to the weekend!

Exactly, just what I was writing about below; bullied.

2011-12-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

Mom of bullied gay teen ’uplifted’ by support

J.Edgar Hoover

2011-12-07T10:08:00.000-08:00

Finally a day without "anything" That means I'm doing laundry (bedding), cleaning, baking and writing this post at home! (going over my lists) Once a month I will go see a movie, last night I saw J. Edgar. He was the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. (FBI) From what I understood he was the creator of this efficient crime investigation team. He started the fingerprint files and forensic laboratories. A very established well known director in the public eye. I was very tired, slightly dozing through-out the movie but I left understanding a part of our history. I know this is a fragile subject but I apparently Edgar was gay and in a secret relationship with his associate director Clyde Tolson. If you haven't seen the movie, it's worth watching. The sad part is Edgar lived in secrecy sadly knowing if his love for Clyde were to seep out, his creditability and life would be at stake. "Mainly" we live in a world that is now accepting different lifestyles but even still, I know personally individuals that hide who they are because of the disapproval they'll receive. I personally believe this is wrong of anyone to judge another on they way they live, or who they are. This is where we see more suicidal attempts. Suicide. So when I learn of individuals histories living like Edgar did, it's very sad. I'm huge for acceptance and individuality. If any of our children love the same sex I would be completely fine. Some of my best friends were/are homosexual and because they can be who they are, they are nicer people. Interesting how some movies can put you in deep thought. Like books, it's just forms of enlightenment. Another enlightenment is our new age existence really isn't new age at all (a spirituality without borders or confining dogmas) it was just hidden because being exposed meant abusive death. Definitely a belief that wasn't openly communicated. Well if you know me, happiness is key to success and without it, no amount of money in the world can help you. Like Edgar, his successes were astronomical but according to some factual information, he wasn't happy with who he was personally. That's where I really do wish people can just be who they are........now I better get cracking eggs, my free day is wasting!

"Clean list"

2011-12-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

I don't have to question if it will get any busier. It will around here! It's just not about our family, it's about including previous foster families and some birth families. Our holiday season consists of everyone. I'm probably not the only one making a list and checking it twice. In fact I'm writing numerous lists over and over again because the original list becomes tissue with rips and coffee spilled on it! In the picture above is our fireplace, we just started to decorate today believe it or not! After all that "hype" I was blubbering about being ready and decorated by December 1st past five days ago! If you're anything like me (or my husband) we are left in over-drive. This weekend I was away accomplishing (slipping in) a first aid weekend with a few hours of skiing! Interestingly enough, I'm safer in the first aid room. I caught an edge and I continued to flip - basically snow plowed myself to a halting stop. I'm completely fine except for my underlying bruises and stiffness. Then I stepped on a little nail. "I felt it" Somewhat bothered by it but I didn't realize there was anything lodged into the bottom of my foot! Finally tonight with an infection starting, I managed to remove this little foreign object! I am my worst enemy. I will admit it. It's completely about living. (Ha ha) All kidding aside, our family is active and this includes Mountains in the winter. One of our sons is an excellent skier, doing tricks at the terrain park and enjoying the backside of our local Mountain. For me, volunteering some of my free time (not much) gives our children passes to ski. One of our eleven year old sons is showing a keen interest and I can really see the potential in "some" of our children to actively succeed in some extreme sports. Only worry - My experience working in the first aid room on a ski hill is the most experience anyone will receive for injuries. I've had the opportunity to ride car (ambulance) and it was more like a delivery service. I don't like to see someone hurt, especially children. It takes a certain individual to perform first aid at this level because it's something that you have to remove yourself from personally. There has been many traumatic injuries including death that I've either attended, witnessed or heard about. Like anything, everything is to remain confidential although with certain scenarios there is a process of debriefing. A paramedic once told me that he goes home and showers. It's a cleansing of his day. Starts fresh tomorrow. Sometimes that's easier said then done. Like anything during a day of trials, we do have to move on. So when I think about people hurt physically or mentally, I always remember what my friend told me. Try showering it off and if not for yourself, for everyone around you. To remember no matter how hard something can be, someone really does have it harder and the power of taking one day at a time is or can be a saving grace. I wasn't going to write because I knew I would be all over the place, Christmas, activities, first aid, life's trials, nails - forever changing futures. We all have our own unique qualities to release tension, mine is through journals even if it's completely scattered. On that note; I'm back to decorating our home.......and starting a fresh new week with a clean new list because first hand I know our family has it really good. I'm very, very thankful for this considering we are actively plowing down ski hills!

Putting up the tree in 42 seconds!

2011-11-30T11:43:00.000-08:00

My husband putting up our Christmas tree in record time! A laugh for you!

Sentimental Dusting

2011-11-29T21:58:00.000-08:00

My husband and I tonight were cleaning and moving around our living room. We are officially 100% finished our home! Well until the next quest.........the nice part of tonight was we moved my one and only display cabinet back into our living room. This is a cabinet I've had since eighteen years old. Inside are sentimental items that I've been keeping for over twenty years! While I was dusting, I found our eleven year olds baby foot, I found our eight year old son's thumb. At the top of this cabinet I and my husband's cake topper sits from 1999! It was a red and white wedding, the cake topper now looks like a light purple. The reason I kept this (made of royal icing) is because our wedding vehicle model sits nicely on top that we built together. Inside is us, little people with distorted eyes. I tried to dust it but the little tiny pretend flower buds all over the car were falling off. It was a fond day to remember. I sat dusting and it triggered conversation with our eleven and thirteen year olds. I explained that life moves quickly and these are just little reminders for me of my past. Most of the items were over 20 years old. There was always a story behind them. Sometimes another Country. So while I dusted and was putting away, I reminded them that this is an area not to be tampered with. "Please don't" I expressed. I continued to show them a little crystal angel that was holding my birth stone. This little angel was given to me over ten years ago from my boss. A boss that I loved dearly who isn't with us today. He wasn't just my boss, he was a part of my life. So items aren't just items sometimes......they have meaning behind them. My three sons seemed like they were listening closely. So I picked out three ornaments that were over twenty years old, they have some value, a sentimental attachment for me and I said, "This is now yours" I explained it's history, the value and what it meant for me. I'm hoping these little objects will hold some value for them too. This is the first time for them I made the attempt to give them something important to look after. What I hope is; it means as much to them, as my angel does to me. It is teaching them that it's not the object itself but the meaning behind it, for them - I hope it's me. I hope they realize that I cherished this item for over twenty years, the dust is well established and I gave it from my heart. I always write about how material items aren't important so here I am being slightly hypocritical about some of my ornaments but it's like pictures, you pick it up, look at it and it brings back so many memories of something or someone. That's what makes it special, really not the item itself but the background of its existance. So our boys left happily holding in their hands their Mother's sentimental treasures. I felt good giving them these in hopes they'll hold them tight remembering it's not about the item, it's its history. So we will see........it's a beginning and I really hope it was a night of dusting that they'll never forget.

"The temptation is high at the (shopping mall) school"

2011-11-29T09:34:00.000-08:00

(I took down the "Google Image" as my perception was misunderstood. I apologize. It wasn't our son)

Recently one of our sons has been stealing. Stealing from school and from his friends. Just last Friday he stole from his one and only best friend. A friend that lives down the street who he has play dates with. Unfortunately they've been cancelled. Lately at our school the PAC (Parent Advisory Council) is on a mission to raise funds. I completely understand that raising money for our children is a great idea although sometimes it becomes "too much" A few years ago I was the Secretary for our schools PAC, now I don't even acknowledge there is one. On behalf of myself this sounds quite ignorant but it's too much "drama" for me. (Sorry) So lately there has been numerous bake sales held during school hours. Now here's where we have issues with this - our children are limited sugar. I also make enormous healthy lunches with my own baked goods accordingly for each of our children. So I told our children, "No money for the bake sale, you have great lunches with your own baked goods inside" The temptation is too high for our children. So our one son decides he's entitled to buy baked items with this money he found. Explaining theft to him was like explaining what makes an airplane fly. It was very confusing for him. He explained the money was sitting right there and he wanted to buy some goodies. After all everyone else was buying goodies, why not him? This is another reason I don't agree selling items at school should be during the school hours, all the children and including their parents feel they have too to make sure it's fair for their child. This puts us parents in a battle that shouldn't exist. When my husband was speaking to our sons teacher, she also stated that she couldn't even teach that afternoon because of all the wired children stemming from this bake sale. I keep explaining that it's not about the money, it's about listening to our reasoning's (as parents) on why you're not allowed purchasing items at school. So with all this fundraising happening, we've seen an escalation (an opening) to steal because if everyone else can, why can't I? Another one of our sons "borrowed" money to buy a book after I told him "No books" These book sales seem to be every month! I keep explaining that we're not buying every time a pamphlet is handed out to buy! Usually we'll buy everyone a book through school at the end of their school year. I try to develop traditions, routines that they will understand and follow but again the temptation is too high. Their entitlement remains because the school is allowing it. Anything I try to prevent at home gets caught floating in the wind somewhere. It can be very frustrating. Ultimately we (I) can't control on how our Society works because I would change the push to spend on our children, leave it until after hours. I'm also not naive, the temptation is everywhere but we could leave it out of our schools. (My opinion of course) We don't take any theft lightly. So our son started with his lines after school. Then followed by an apology letter attached with double the amount of money taken that he's working off. I don't believe his consequences are harsh by no means. Meaning our children really need to grasp the concept that taking anything that isn't theirs is wrong. Even if it's found, it's not theirs. There is a owner for everything until proven otherwise. With some of our children with FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) Their thoughts are simply, "I found it" without recognizing they're stealing it. So taking 50 cents can increase to taking an idling car (because it's simply running) to heading into someones home because the door was left open. As their Mother I'm completely protecting our children's future with the necessary consequences provided and it's repetitious! The sad conclusion is a friend was upset and now possibly not a friend anymore. As I explained to our son "taking something" creates more then being reprimanded, it's the trust that's being lost and the feelings of having once a good friend to no friend at all. That's the most upsetting consequence especially when friends are limited and hard to come by!

"Power to everyone"

2011-11-27T22:22:00.000-08:00

I've been occasionally catching the reality television show called, "Sister Wives" It's a reality situation that involves a Polygamous marriage. Meaning more then one wife. In this case, there is four wives sharing one husband with multiple children per wife. If I watch any television, TLC is the first channel I surf. I personally wouldn't choose to live this way. Although I'm the type of person that loves to be educated with all the different lifestyles out there, the different cultures, different religions and belief systems, so being enlightened through certain reality shows is quite fascinating. I definitely don't judge nor pass any criticism, I do however inside myself say, "Bravo for sharing, so individuals like myself can learn and perhaps understand" After all I completely understand why they need to advocate on "why" and on "how" it works because I advocate daily with our large family built through adoption. Honestly I don't know what defines normal because if we have an open mind and accept that everyone is different - that is their/our normal. Instead of trying to change someones belief, on how they live, it's easier to just accept that our world is a diverse place. I believe it's created that way so we can experience, learn and have the right to choose who we are. It's extraordinary. I believe in respecting ones chosen life. If it makes you happy, a confident individual and there's no harm to anyone else or children then there's nothing wrong with the way you live. Today while putting laundry away, doing my usual daily tasks I was contemplating my life. It was a rainy windy weekend and our children were sometimes climbing the walls, my husband was obsessing over his sixth coat of finishing stain on the living room beams, one of our dogs rolled again in horse poo, one of our daughters vomited all over the living room floor - it was almost a typical day. Interestingly enough, I didn't contemplate any of that above. I questioned myself and my beliefs. I know it's a real personal and sensitive conversation when it revolves around religions, spiritual beliefs and practically on how each and every one of us lives. I'm learning something new everyday because my belief is to educate myself about absolutely everything, to logically accept and respect regardless if I believe something or not. I will incorporate what makes sense to me in our life and I will not disrespect anything else. To define who I am; I am someone who takes bits and pieces from every culture and the outcome consists of genuine acceptance of everything and everyone. Compassion for all no matter what path is leading them. Personally if that's slightly mixed up then I'm happy and confident to live this way. Watching "Sister Wives" I noticed some confusion for their children but reality is our lives are confusing no matter how we're living it. I also noticed lots of love and at the end of our day, that love and acceptance is sometimes all we need for tomorrow. We all make mistakes and we're not perfect. (If we don't make mistakes, we don't learn) For our children I want them to experience, to learn through their mistakes, to find who they are and become who they'll be most happiest. I would be completely satisfied if my children were happy being Buddhist, Christian, Spiritual with their Native beliefs, if they want to incorporate bits and pieces like their Mother, or absolutely none of it; they can be whomever they want to be as long as they're happy. For myself to be honest, I'm done contemplating. I don't ever speak unless asked about what I believe and truthfully, I can honestly understand the power in everything. I think that having education around all the belief systems helps understand that really, everyone is on the same page, just slightly living it differently. These are just my thoughts, no power to them........no double edged sword. I'm just a huge thinker, analyzing everything and hoping for the best lives possible for everybody no matter how they live it or how different they are!

Christmas Shoes

2011-11-24T19:37:00.000-08:00

"I admit, I am crazy"

2011-11-24T19:17:00.000-08:00

I have a certain amount of hours to Christmas shop sporadically on different days where there isn't any other appointments happening. Today I managed to squeeze in three and a half hours! Before I go each time, I have a list of maybe four children that I'm concentrating on. I know exactly what I'm looking for and usually where. I do price checking before hand. While shopping I'm always keeping my eyes open for great deals. I won't lie......I get really excited when something seems just right for someone and it's on sale! Tomorrow is Black Friday in the States. Black Friday is traditionally the first Christmas shopping day with extremely low prices after the United States Thanksgiving Holiday. If I was prepared, I would of went just for the experience. Although getting back into Canada following the Black Friday would prove interesting with my van loaded of Christmas presents. So I've never been tempted to try it! I can hear the headlines all over the News, Mother of Fourteen smuggles enormous amounts of goods the day after Black Friday! For the States, it's their busiest shopping day all year. I can just imagine the crowds of people fighting over "Rocking Elmo" It reminds me of the movie "Jingle all the way" where that last popular toy was sold out and two fathers did everything humanly possible to get it. I remember one year when the movie "Toy Story" was big and one of our sons loved that show. He loved Woody. This was the toy. When I went to buy it, it was all sold out. Everywhere! We have friends that live in Corona California and I asked, "Can you please send Woody?" Then just before Christmas more Woody's came in stock, so I purchased one quickly. I wasn't sure if the Woody coming from California was going to make it. By December 25th, we had two Woody's! Last year I left the advent calendars until last minute! I looked everywhere for those silly chocolate calendars and our children went without. (not that big of a deal) Although it bothered me more then anything else! SO as soon as I seen them, I picked up a stack full! As you can tell, I have this sentimental "issue" with Christmas. I remember fondly my childhood Christmas's. When I awoke Christmas morning, my sister and I would be so thrilled with our home made cabbage patch dolls our Mother made. Back then, the cabbage patch dolls were the "big" in thing but they were roughly $60.00 each! Expensive. My mother made her own designed as family members. I also remember she made me this big green frog. A frog that I sat on while watching Gilligans Island and Little house on the Prairie. Times sure have changed.........but I have these memories that will last forever, memories I want our children to have. So really, it's not about the shopping, the material items, it's about some surprises, making a magical morning in hopes they will continue for their own children. Just like our month of December......it's about platters of food, family games and enjoying each other - building up to that day I fondly remember as a child. My husband STILL brings out his stocking that he made when he was five! It's made of felt. Santa's beard is ripped off. He could be missing an eye. BUT every year he brings out his stocking, hangs it by the fireplace. Every year he tells the story about his stocking. (Very cute actually) The funny thing about it is, I can't fit anything into it. It's so old and fragile that every time I push something into it, another felt part falls off! Throughout December we always watch "Christmas Vacation" with Chevy Chase and all the other classics. Two of my favorites are "Christmas in Plum Creek" - Little house in the Prairie and "The Christmas Shoes" You know, as much as I shop for some material items our children want - in the end, it's the thought what counts. It's all about the memories. It's a cycle that I as a Mother want our children to continue. Above is one of my favorite songs and show - "The Christmas Shoes" Only one more month to Christmas everyone! Exactly! And I admit, I am crazy - over Christmas!

"Emotionally, who are we all?"

2011-11-22T21:57:00.000-08:00

Today was a day I questioned my parenting on how to handle a situation with one of our children. I'm not going to get into detail for privacy reasons. Although after the situation I starting thinking about the time when my husband and I was so excited to meet our new child. It was an older adoption but we were excited because our waiting was finally over. We had a years wait after the match. It took months of pre-placement visits before placement. It took several months for an exception from the band. For us, adopting older children was just as exciting as having a baby. Looking at their pictures, the color of their eyes, how BIG their feet were, we were just so thrilled to have new children. At the beginning of our adoption journey we had this hope that if we provided a good stable loving home, we could have these wonderful changed children. Attachment Disorders? "They would attach" is what I thought. From the moment we met our new children, it was rough. Their behaviors were different but they were beautiful anyway. Something about adoption is, when you know they're your children, you look beyond their faults. There is this glimmer of hope for bigger and better future possibilities. All we want is what's best. Birth or adopted children, they're all the same. It's not always an adoptive child that disappoints. The difference is an adopted child wants at some point to know their birth family. Good, bad or indifferent it will happen eventually if openness isn't already established. With some of our children I always thought they would never know their birth family because of the reported history of neglect and addictions. It was my job as their Mother to protect them from their past and possible future influences. Strangely enough I smile writing this because there comes a time in life where we can't protect our children from anything. Ultimately my role as their protective Mother switches to letting them learn, experience for themselves. I've been learning something too.......we've had two teenagers seek out their birth family on different occasions. While they've done this, they aren't so nice anymore. As some are aware our oldest son is now home after two years of "soul searching" who he is. It wasn't pleasant. What I've learned is some of the birth family that I thought I'd never communicate with, I have and regardless of the past or what could still remain in the future - we all have the same thing in common. Our children. They counted their toes too. Our circumstances are different. I've learned that adoptive parents aren't valued as "real parents" with most birth families because of their losses. I've found that there's still confusion that their children are still in foster care. I'm finding with proper healthy communication with some birth family that these grey areas are finally being understood. I, the adoptive Mother didn't steal your child. I'm not a horrible person manipulating your child's feelings towards you. I'm simply a Mother loving those little toes you once counted. A mother that when laid eyes on your child, that waited more then nine months, made enormous sacrifices and unconditionally welcomed your child from age nine, age eleven and on..... only had one thought - was to love but not perfectly. Some of the clashes we've experienced with birth family is understandable, meaning I completely understand the feelings around their loss due to the circumstances. I've been thinking - (because I do that) I wouldn't change anything. In fact, I'm grateful for connecting with some of our children's birth family, (birth family I thought we wouldn't) because there is some we have different forms of openness with. I'm also at peace (in my heart) with our two teens that have been actively searching and connecting with their family. I truly believe that my decision to parent acknowledging our children's needs to face their unknowns with their birth family is the right choice. It's taken me seven years of being afraid to feeling comfortable knowing that whatever the outcome may be, it had to be done. Eventually however our children choose to venture, if it's done respectfully or completely with a 360 of behaviors and lies, emotionally we all need to find ourselves in this world and where we came from. Our children with attachment disorders are at risk but I will never allow myself to loose hope that we're the ones they've finally attached too. The same hope we had during our placements; to make a difference and to simply love a child.

"Just a post"

2011-11-21T20:06:00.000-08:00

A busy Sunday it was. It started with fourteen of us heading to see Santa Claus at the mall! Believe it or not, Santa was welcoming his lap to all of us! It was our family piling on Santa! Not only was that successful, we had spectators! We were asked if we were from an organization? We were asked if we were a group from somewhere? I just said, "We are just a family" Santa was so impressed that he was willing to come to our house! I wonder if he'll show on Christmas Eve?! From the mall we heading over to an adoption celebration where we watched some children perform their talents and was served goodies and cake. If anyone is unaware, November is Adoption Awareness month. So there has been different celebrations all over Vancouver Island and across British Columbia. We left early to take ten of our children swimming. (Usually a Sunday tradition of ours) That way we're all showered and ready to attend school the following day. Another area we seem to take over; is the showers within the pool. We have a family system that works like a charm on most swimming outings. This Sunday we swam with another adoptive family. Our friends children are so wonderful with our little ones. Then came Monday. A day of baking and doing all the laundry! What's really exciting about Monday was we've planned a group movie trip to see "Breaking Dawn" this week! All of us older teens/young adults (including me) are off to the movies to see the famous love story between a Vampire and a human. (The Twilight series) I've heard it's the best one yet.......so a kiss from a Vampire must not be that bad! I promise I won't write about it. It's been a busy two days, so time for me to curl up and fall asleep into a good book.

What's your wish?

2011-11-19T11:48:00.000-08:00

With the little bit of hardened snow around here our children are having a blast. Automatically they've decided it's "Christmas!" In 11 short days it will look a lot like Christmas around here! Our children's excitement levels are heightening and my craft room looks like an elf room. We asked what our children wanted for Christmas, reminding them that the gift of giving is nice but Christmas isn't about material items. Our eight year old said, "I want it to snow for a long time" I starting thinking to myself, "No that won't be on your list either!" Our eleven year old daughter said, "A horse".........Um, "No" Again I started thinking to myself that a material item in this case would be much easier! I tried again on our other eleven year old daughter, asking..."What would you wish for Christmas that isn't a material item?" Her answer was, "A Hannah Montana wig!" Well my eyes were starting to cross. I explained to her that's a material item. Her response was, "No it's not, it's hair!" So my mission on asking our children this question continued. Our littlest son who's three wants a fish! Mmmmm.......I could probably provide smoke salmon! What I noticed with our own family survey asking this question stumps their answers. My husband had an excellent answer, "My wish would be if everyone did one good deed to another on a daily basis, this world would be a better place" My husband is a man after my own heart! Our seven year old son answered, "Chocolate milk" Some of our children reminded me of a deer caught in my headlights. So I moved on. Your probably thinking that my wish has to do with large families - lol - in fact I've written enough about that. My Christmas wish is about every one's health. To be healthy and happy on Christmas and throughout the New Years to come. We can be rich with money, material items but without health, none of that matters. Surprisingly our five year old son answered, "For my sister to walk" How profound is that!? Immediate Christmas tears filled my eyes. I suddenly pictured our little daughter running around with her siblings outside. One day this will be true.....and a Christmas wish worth making. When I told our oldest daughter about the one answer I received, (for her sister to walk) she chose that too! I've heard the power of prayer is great, call it a wish or some hope; believing brings positive outcomes. My quest for brilliant answers weren't that discouraging after all, in fact I was pleasantly surprised and once again, filled with Christmas spirit!

Large families in the 21st Century!

2011-11-18T19:17:00.000-08:00

Neon's ago I wrote a post about the benefits of having a large family. I know many can't wrap their mind around on why or how we function, basically their question is, "If I couldn't handle a large family, how can someone else?" There must be some forms of neglect. Typically the average family has 2.5 children with 1 dog and that is enough for most parents. There is some parents that can successfully raise over ten children. I feel compelled to continually advocate for larger families. I wrote in a previous post that our home is open to anyone that questions our abilities. Some of the benefits I've witnessed with our family is our children have more knowledge and self confidence. We are our own support network. Our children have compassion for every ones different needs including within our society because they experience it at home. This is a personal favorite trait of mine, compassion for others and our children are developing it because of our large family. I'm definitely not saying any of these attributes can't be developed in a smaller family, but I know our children exhibit theirs through their daily life with many siblings. With many siblings there is no lack of conversation and playful attention. They constantly have intellectual stimulation which strengthens and sharpens their judgement. I know that our children with special needs have come a long way because of their constant interaction with their siblings. Every day several of our children are teaching our littlest daughter new words. We're constantly surrounded by laughter, we are a livelier bunch. I truly believe our adoption placements were very easy because of the number of children we have. The acceptance and experience receiving a new sibling is most welcoming. If there is special needs, our children aren't afraid but willing to provide stimulation for further development for that sister or brother. Children in large families succeed because they're experienced with that trait I love called compassion. They develop understanding. Of course there is that normal sibling rivalry and with more of it, it teaches our children lessons in fairness, sharing, forgiving and forgetting. That provides them with a more resilient surface. The biggest aspect that large families learn is patience. Which will help them in their adult years becoming self reliant. All our children have their own space if needed, if wanted but otherwise they're never alone - each and every one of our children are learning to get along. This helps with group settings, they become more comfortable in busy crowded situations. Some of our children have more courage and can easily jump into a public presentation. I feel confident to single parent across British Columbia because mostly our children are cooperative and responsible. With stating all the attributes our family possesses, and I've seen in other larger families - the facts are it's easier to add then to take away children. I know and understand some families struggle with 1-3 children but there is families that can handle 4,6,10, 15+ without much difficulty. The truth is we all live daily dedicated to our individual situations. I also believe that every family that have siblings, one or more; it's the greatest gift of a lifetime. Centuries ago, large families were more acceptable, I'm here to fight back, to argue, to continue to state that the twenty first century can handle larger families too. The love we have for our children doesn't divide as more children come along. It multiplies. -Shalom Freedom.

"It's just home"

2011-11-17T22:34:00.000-08:00

I don't like to wish time away although this week I'm glad it's over! We juggled a pediatrician apt, three mostly full days of neurological testing, therapeutic horseriding, a doctors visit, a physical test of sorts and slid in some Christmas shopping! AND I went grocery shopping that took three hours! I'm used to being stared at while doing anything with our family and especially grocery shopping! At Costco today I over loaded my cart to the point where I was standing there holding chicken. I had several comments. For example: "I'm sure glad that's not my cart!" "You need a tow truck!" to questioning, "This must be your other mortgage?" In fact, groceries seem to be two mortgages! "Who are you feeding, an army!?" I just laugh because many of these comments were true! I did need a tow truck....and I did wish if my chickens were alive, they would run along behind me! Three stacked grocery carts and three hours later I arrived home just to unload and start dinner! You're probably wondering if we had no food prior, no that's not the case. I'm a mother that likes to have everything needed (stalked) sometimes doubled (tripled) if on sale. I never usually have to run to the store for anything, our children will never go hungry. What's interesting about me is I really want to make sure everyone is well fed, otherwise satisfied. I don't want our guests to be shy going for seconds or thirds. I remind myself of a little ole Grandmother that pushes food....mostly in a loving healthy way. I even recognize how I am but I just can't control myself when entertaining. Our oldest daughter and her boyfriend came over for dinner. My daughter dished out her boyfriends dinner. I just couldn't leave it alone......I told her that wasn't enough. I insisted he needed more. ( ha ha ) He is just a lovely young man and after dinner he was stuffed, crashed out on our couch. It reminded me of my husband! While our oldest daughter was here, we had the best tantrum and the best spilled milk all over her boyfriends feet! But the nicest part of the evening was when she said, "I love home, as in home with you and Dad" See, we aren't a typical family. Yes we cost a whole lot more, we can be noisier, there will be different scenarios happening, possibly challenges but at the end of the day, we remember the laughter and the significant comments that make everything worth it. Our oldest daughter mentioned she wants to be here on Christmas Eve, sleeping over.......she might of moved out but she's not ready to start her own tradition. (Not yet) And that's "Ok" I will take as much time as I can get with our children, and our adult children. Judging by this Christmas, our home will be enriched with family. (A Christmas we will never forget) Even my Father & Mother will be here........and my Mother & Father.....plus my sister and her family........and as our oldest daughter explained, "It's just home"

Where's our credibility?

2011-11-15T23:10:00.000-08:00

I am a member of the AFABC Magazine. Magazine of the adoptive families association of British Columbia. There was a paragraph that caught my attention in the October/November 2011 issue called "Siblings fare better when placed together" The Children and Youth Services Review Vol. 33, Issue 7 through nacac.org quotes: A national foster care study found that children placed with siblings fared better than those placed alone. Researchers divided 1,701 cases into children placed apart from siblings (split), placed with some siblings (splintered), and placed with all siblings (together). Teachers reported that siblings placed together did better academically than the other two groups, and together and splintered groups exhibited less problematic behavior than the split group. Our family has some experience in this area because we adopted three children from a sibling group of five. Now in this case scenario it was the best solution. Although I do know that the one sibling that remained in foster care struggled. What I interpret from the findings highlighted above is children develop behaviors because of their emotions from separation. Many of us have hidden thoughts we think about, we question and develop confusion on why life is what it is. I can only imagine a child tossing their conclusion around in their mind on why they aren't with their sisters and brothers. Of course I understand most reasoning's behind why children are separated. Children don't and that's when their behaviors begin. What worries me most as an adoptive mother with siblings out there, what about their future? In our case, technically our family is "too large" to keep them together. Really? Personally if that's the conclusion; that ultimately changes their life. They become problematic within our society. This also makes the adoptive family subjected to question, "Why was I separated from my siblings?" We automatically are to blame. We were asked this in the past, and I did have to explain that it was the Ministry's decision. I'm completely convinced we're still disliked "to say it lightly". All of a sudden our role of being family builders shift to family separators in the children's eyes. I've been writing lately about large families adopting siblings because yes, there is some siblings out there for us although there is a gloomy stigma around large families adopting that I don't seem to understand. Perhaps I'm ignorant to why this outcome is floating around? For us we're not actively seeking to adopt anymore but our children's siblings shouldn't be sitting in foster care wondering why me? (And developing those behaviors because of it) When children already had a loss, different forms a neglect and abuse, they migrate to each other. Children turn to each other for supports and develop sibling bonds needed to guide them through many feelings that perhaps a parent and yes, councilors can't provide. I've witnessed it. I also truly believe that children develop better permanency outcomes when placed with their siblings. Basically it's unity. Long term well-being is what we all agree, a permanency plan. Statistically I live the truth and witness everyday the importance of siblings remaining together. I'm finding I'm a voice advocating through our family that large families need more credibility. If the truth needs to be sought, I believe most of our homes are open, (anytime, day or evening) anyone interested in witnessing first hand on how our family works, the invite is there. I can guarantee anyone interested will be pleasantly surprised. And that is my formal promise.

A quote from Henry Ford that our son just used with his homework project is - Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.

To me that quote defines "Large families"

Documentation

2011-11-14T22:27:00.000-08:00

We have a completely different feeling and appreciation for the police. In fact, several different constables knows us personally. They know our last name, who we are, what we're about and knows the pasts of our children that came from foster care, their birth families - the whole dynamic of certain situations they're completely aware and on board of anything that could arise. Nothing needs to be explained and they're only a phone call away. We had a personal visit not long ago from one of the constables we know, interestingly enough our neighbors automatically question, "What's wrong?" I smile, stating nothing. Just because they arrive in a police vehicle doesn't mean anything. One aspect I love about our community being small is, we receive immediate attention usually. I have many dinners, different nights that involve different family friends, I'm starting to think that inviting our friends, (Police Officers) over for dinner, a night of platters while off duty would be a great idea! Meaning their family too because some of our children are friends with their children. There is one constable I just love. It's not just about work, it's about the people involved. Understanding and again, having compassion for. What's really nice is we're getting to know the system and how it really works. I won't get into much detail although one story I fondly remember is; there isn't much help for the mentally challenged unless someone is threatening their own life, or someone elses. So, there is a mentally illed individual living underground. He claims the aliens are coming. Even his family can't get him the help he needs because it's completely voluntary. He suffers from schizophrenia. You would think under those conditions, an ambulance would take him to the hospital for evaluating. Sadly, "No" As much as there is lots of help provided when needed, in some scenarios not so much. This is definitely not a perfect world. One detail I've learned was to document everything. Documentation has power. So if anyone is having difficulties in any area, document. This provides the truth with time lines, distorted stories reveal and it will build the necessary help needed when or if someone will either end up in court or at the hospital being evaluated. You're probably wondering why on earth am I writing about our neighborhood police and documenting life's mishaps. Well who knows what our future holds, who knows what your future holds - I'm merely just sharing what a constable told me. It could be valuable information one day. Our world isn't what we think it is, or what we believe we'd like it to be, it's a place to be educated. I remember when I was a child, I would walk 4 kilometers to school one way. Now our children can't walk from the bus stop. Being aware is prevention. I thought I'd write about, perhaps remind that we always need to prevent and be prepared for the unknowns. Socializing and getting to know the system is (I think) a step in the right direction. Every preventative measure we take, we take seriously. I hope you do too.

Countryside Christmas

2011-11-13T19:25:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful day! My mother gave me my Christmas present early. It consisted of a lunch buffet and a Theatre performance two hours long called "Countryside Christmas" in Chemainus. My mother, sister and niece attended this fantastic day together. The gentlemen above gladly allowed me to take his picture during our buffet lunch. He was excellent on the piano playing all sorts of familiar songs including the soundtrack from Charlie Brown and songs from Elton John. It was very peaceful listening to his beautifully played music. After our two hour lunch we were seated into the Theatre that was magically displayed for Christmas. The performance was set back in the 1980's. (Not long ago) It's about this family and their Christmas together. It was extremely funny. I enjoyed myself immensely. I'm not going to write about the performance but it's a must see. The atmosphere and the talented actors/actresses just really set the stage for a good show. It was a Christmas gift worth giving. Not only did I have an excellent day, I was spending quality time with my mother, my sister and niece that I don't do very often. Times like these I cherish because we're having a great time, there isn't any "drama" While walking the streets of Chemainus, I often thought to myself that life can be anything that we make it. During the performance many times I thought, wouldn't it be wonderful to have musicians, and actors in our family. I'd definitely support. They were having so much fun sharing their talent and with dedication (practice) our children can be just as talented and funny! That's where their "drama" needs to switch to the stage! My mother is very talented with oil paintings (wild life), wood scrolling and music. She can play the piano, the guitar, basically any musical instrument. Some of our children we bought guitars for although their patient level is nill. They seem to believe that picking up the guitar or sitting down at a piano, the music just automatically appears from their fingers. I also have an acoustic guitar that I would love to find more time for! Today was a bit of everything for me. Laughter, it was sentimental, it completely set my Christmas spirits on high and I question myself, "When will I get new strings for my guitar and start playing?!" Maybe a New Year quest! My mother insisted we go into this popular little candy store. (She can be very cute) Inside she bought all of us these Bon Bons, all different colors. (I think they're Bon Bons) A chewy circle candy with a white frosted coating. They are delicious regardless what they are. I thought about sharing them with the rest of my family but because of the expense and they were bought for me - na, it's sacred. After all, just sometimes; something has to be mine. BUT definitely has me thinking about our children's Christmas stockings! To end, if you want to get into the spirit or just have a great time, see Countryside Christmas. Another thought, their 2012 season tickets are also available. What a nice Christmas present would that be!? I'm thinking about making the Theatre a tradition for our family in the future!

"Thankyou Mom, it was a very special day being together!" This is why having a family is so important, for sentimental days like these. I know I still need them!

I prefer "Etch A Sketch" for our children

2011-11-12T23:45:00.000-08:00

You know what's interesting about the Internet? You can post absolutely anything. I wrote about Facebook before and I'm the only few people in our home that is allowed Facebook for several different reasons. These Internet sites that you can create your own identity I'm assuming is very self gratifying. Changing your name, developing new parents and siblings. Being married when that's completely impossible. Exchanging information, adding multiple friends that you don't even know because it makes you feel "popular" Realistically, who has 500 friends? These sites can be helpful for many different reasons but also harmful to some that abuse its intent of use. Like my blog for example. Am I a Mother of fourteen children who writes the truth coming from my heart? I could very well be fiction. I think our children really need to be educated before starting online communications. Reality isn't what it's made out to be and for our vulnerable children, they need to know that accepting a friendship request from a stranger online can be just as dangerous meeting them on the street. Children are communicating with potential predators. Mary Jane might be Bob Who-knows-who age fifty five wanting to chat, to see some pictures, to eventually meet. For a teenager needing or feeling they need friendships, Bob has potentially set the bait. We have a family computer sitting in the kitchen that's barely turned on. We usually use it for homework purposes. What we choose to allow in our home is the only protection we can provide. Otherwise what happens outside our home we can't control. I know some individuals think we're depriving our children, perhaps imprisoned with forms of isolation but to be honest, outdoor and physical interaction is and will always be best. When I was a child, we didn't have computers. I picked up the telephone that was connected to the wall. Stood there connected by a cord while my Mother listened to every word. I went out and socialized. There is a etch a sketch floating around on Facebook that writes, "When I was a kid, this was my computer" on the etch a sketch screen. Very true. What children/teenagers don't realize that the internet is a privilege needed to be used wisely. As technology continues to evolve, it's providing many excellent services and resources although when online messaging becomes the main source of communication, I think we're loosing the closeness of human to human interaction. I'm also guilty for texting instead of calling because it's convenient. Also with the teenagers these days, they communicate easier through texting then face to face. My husband can text on his dinosaur phone but that's completely it. He doesn't have Facebook, or any online accounts. He's actually quite funny on the computer while his frustration level heightens, you can hear him speaking to the computer as if it will comply. For me, I enjoy what the computer (technology) has to offer. I'm definitely not against it but as a Mother I like the simple etch a sketch screen where there's no harm behind it. At least until our children can treat it seriously and with caution.

"Light on"

2011-11-10T21:32:00.000-08:00

I've heard, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" There's a very special side to our family that I'm honored to witness. Have you ever took the time to just watch and listen to what your children are doing? The majority of my time is just that. Watching different gestures, behaviours and our children's interaction with each other. I witness daily the compassion our children can have, the friendships built being siblings and it can be very admiring. As my children's Mother, I'm proud to see that our children are growing respectfully with each other. Accepting each other's differences and 80% of the time, I feel we're a tight connected family. We're a team mastering all odds with the occasional few misses and I feel very thankful that I've been given the chance to Mother all our children. When I think about our family, I think about our Adoption Worker. I can definitely rant about all the loop holes within our Government system although our Adoption Worker that has been with us from the beginning has built our family through adoption. She's basically the only worker we've been in contact with for over eight years. She knows us personally and she's been a huge support during every adoption matching process, placements and has been supporting us through different stumbling blocks. She's completely understanding, compassionate and very patient. (Very patient with me I'd might add) I truly believe finding the right Adoption Social Worker is key with having successful adoptions. I've told her many times over how grateful we are for her and without her, we wouldn't be the family we are today. Some people have a career to do, others take that career and make a difference. This is our worker. A passionate individual that does her career beyond expectations. I think there should be an award within the Ministry for Social Workers that have impacted and made a difference to so many lives. Through-out life, outstanding individuals should be recognized. Hero's are. When I look at our family, the hero here is our Adoption Worker. She has placed eleven children in a forever home, changed their lives regardless if they know it or not for the better. I'm very thankful to her foremost. The next beautiful piece is our children. It's just amazing how they've accepted us as their parents. I couldn't imagine the transition from multiple foster homes then being adopted without being hesitant about their place in life. I know some of our children have been hesitant but their resilience with this love that was just waiting to surface is remarkable. It's finally their place to belong, their home - their place where their story begins. Having a family, a stable home with no more moving is their saving grace. The picture above was taking quickly without much thought and it's one of my favorites. I find it to be so innocently personal and beautiful. My husband, a father to his new daughter sitting near the ocean. He's clearly showing her what I adore best, nature and she's so captivated by it. You can see her hand with excitement held openly in the air. The innocence of our daughter is so beautiful on a daily basis that I feel I need to make sure the world is provided for her. Mostly, I feel this for all our children. I just want the best possible future like any other Mother. That doesn't mean having a Doctor in the family, it means having a happy healthy child/adult child. We built our home for forever and I know a few of our children with special needs will be with us until death do us part. Crazy? Judging by the picture above it's a very honorable life we lead. Regardless of our challenges that arise occasionally, there is nothing more heart warming then our children's lives. (Their experiences and memories that we continue to build) I can respectfully hope that within their future we've given some fundamental skills, some love and a family where they'll remain as innocent and special as in the picture I love above. When I look at certain pictures, I tear. It's a reminder that our life is the best possible life we could have - a life with children. A smile I have is when our littlest daughter above sees the moon and she yells, "On" meaning the light is on. It's as sweet and simple as that. It's a whole world of heaven to her and that's something I will have to thank the higher power for - which is the gift of simplicity. And she's right, the light is on and life can be as simple as that if we choose too. You know, we're not crazy - we're far from that; possibly from another planet and I wouldn't change our family given the chance because for us, taking away isn't an option. We're meant to be family builders - that's our path we lead and I'm so thankful for it!

What determines a family too large?

2011-11-10T00:51:00.000-08:00

I've been a huge advocate for adoption for over six years now. We've been involved with the Ministry for over eight. Now that we have a "large family" we have to advocate even more. When individuals hear that we have fourteen children they question why and how. The why is obvious, we love children, we love having lots of children. How? Now this is where it gets tricky. When a large adoptive family grows in numbers, that question becomes a stumbling block for most people to comprehend on how we function as a family. Each and every family is completely different on what they can handle. So for us, we have fourteen children. A 21 year old living independently on her own, an 18 year old that comes and goes independently, a 17 soon to be 18 year old that is graduating and wants to travel, also independently on his own. These are examples of just some of our independent children. We also have a variety of special needs. I often question, would we be denied a sibling to one or more of our children because of our "fourteen children" or because we have a variety of special needs? Right now, we know that there is two siblings in foster care (without a permanency plan) and one to be born. We aren't looking to adopt any more children. (Honestly) Although I truly believe that siblings belong together. (Unless the adoptive family couldn't possibly handle any more children) BUT if we could and were denied because of the size of our family, we'd be upset. Families need to be addressed individually and not by their numbers, not by their challenges but by their capabilities on what and how they handle their situations. Taking a closer look on the progress of their children and their milestones. Ultimately looking into the future - What happens when siblings are adopted out separately based on the decisions merely from wondering or asking, "How?" How might this impact the new siblings adopted within a large family? How might this impact the siblings already adopted? How will this family cope with more children? When they already have fourteen and many with special needs? Valid questions. My answers are, most are independent. Every family has challenges. Children within large families are already used to having many siblings, there won't be much impact. Every time we've adopted, our new adopted children adapted easy because of a larger family. They're accepted, unconditionally loved and welcomed. Denying siblings when there is a chance for them to grow together is not a solution. I believe it's creating a future dilemma. A future question for all the siblings involved. It's not about "How" anymore, it's about "Why" didn't you adopt me? I write about this because I know for many larger families it's harder to adopt. What's being missed is looking at the family........and actually agreeing (concluding) "Some larger families cope with many children, with many special needs children" and "some families don't" I've written about dedication. When I think about adoption, the first word that comes to my mind is dedication. It doesn't matter if you have one child or seventeen, there is different levels of dedication involved. For us, our dedication is 24/7 and it's the life we've chosen. Many individuals (professionals) probably will never understand the whys and the hows but I also don't understand why some people choose to bungee jump either. That would be more of a pain in my neck then children! You're probably wondering what, how, when, why and where I'm going with this post. Basically I'm a huge advocate for adoption, I'm a huger advocate for large adoptive families because I know first hand that we work. Our numbers are higher, our challenges are higher but we if anybody know; what it takes to run a home with many children. A fact in which shouldn't be denied if a sibling/siblings need to be placed with their rightful family, their family that is already raising their sisters and brothers. A family that has shown they have the dedication to do so, they have the education, the resources, the experience and are on board with what's right. Eliminating the question "Why" for their children's future on why they weren't adopted with their siblings and leaving us answer on "How" we manage. That answer already exists if anyone is paying attention. In conclusion, long story longer - Large families definitely have the skills to add easily another child/children to their home. We shouldn't be booked marked that our capabilities are full because that's when I will care to differ and challenge a decision if denied a sibling needing an adoptive family when we're happily available right here.

'I love smoking!'

2011-11-09T11:22:00.000-08:00

From the tub to the smokers, thirteen salmon are in the process of being smoked! It's a huge and messy job but my husband and I do it! After filleting, the salmon sit in a brine for two days consisting of brown sugar, course salt & different seasonings. Besides flavor, the course salt is used for curing the meat. The meat becomes tacky and then once heated it binds the meat with all the flavors. For years we've been using these electric smoke houses although our smoking production has become larger quantities. So as "talk" about preparing a garden with raised beds instead of a greenhouse, we're adding a home-built smoker that allows mass production. Our work list seems to continue to grow. (There is no end) One quote we live by is "Work smarter, not harder" Right now, our time frame for smoking thirteen fish in little smokers is two days! Next year it will be half that time! Smoking salmon is a tradition of mine, every year before Christmas. It's a tasty treat to put on platters and to make sushi with through-out the year. It's an excellent source of protein and a tradition fondly savored by our children. We just don't smoke fish. These little electric smokers will smoke absolutely anything. Shellfish, cheese, sausage, steaks, ribs, ham, chicken, turkey, you name it - you can smoke it! Depending on the size of your family, you can purchase these smokers in a Mini Chief, a little Chief and a Big Chief. They're very easy to use and it makes you smell deliciously wonderful! For me, the smells of smoke and fish combined would make anyone hungry! (Ha ha) This weekend I'm going to smoke prawns on shish kabobs! Cooking is a favorite for me. I love to cook. I love to make different ethnic foods and I'm willing to try anything new! This is a trait that is excellent to have with a large family! Our children's taste buds go wild when I'm cooking in my kitchen! OR they run away! Believe it or not, with all the work involved....smoking salmon makes me happy. The end results and because of my traditional time framing, it's one task closer to Christmas! My craft room is looking more like an elf room, Christmas cards will be sent out by December 1st, our decor will be up for the 24 day countdown coming up in three short, definitely quick weeks! I've been preparing for our annual Christmas party in my craft room - it's very exciting. I've written in a previous post that this Christmas will be very special, for the first time in many years, our whole family will be here on Christmas day! Christmas isn't about the presents, it's about being together because after all, we don't know what the new year will bring. Each and every day should be treated as if it were our last. So it makes sense to spend our time with who we love, who we have connections with as much as possible because we're not here for a long time. This is why memories I believe to be the utmost of importance and if we can provide the best of what we can with everything we do - at the end of our day we're happy. This week I love smoking and I believe our children love me smoking too! Salmon that is!

Home sweet home!

2011-11-06T21:14:00.000-08:00

We're home! Camp Homewood is a wonderful place. Mainly it's the adoptive families that make it so special. We all can just be ourselves without explaining our lives on the "whys" of adopting. We all have something in common. We all seem to understand each other, understand our children and ultimately it's a place to have fun, enjoy every ones company and believe it or not, relax! I went alone with ten children. Camp Homewood's atmosphere and the dynamics allows parents to enjoy themselves too! All our children have friends and the picture above is our five year old son with his best buddy. When they're together, they're inseparable! Usually children will interchange time with each other but for these two, they were partners in crime for everything! During a group activity one evening I watched the two of them looking for each other to be partners. There wasn't any other partner for this pair! It's not only cute witnessing their interaction but their bond is naturally wonderful. This is one significant friendship that our children have through the adoption events we participate in. There is several friendships. Not only for our children, I feel so grateful to have so many wonderful friends through our adoption circle. Just supportive amazing people. I feel comfortable and that's the way friendships should be! Reflecting back, we had some great laughs. There is one father who has this fun personality about him, if anyone - he can make me laugh! I'm still smiling about how he made one of our sons do the jiggle over and over again by asking, "How is it done......?" "Are you sure that's how it's done......?" "Can you show me again?" Anyways, it was a "had to be there" moment to fully understand why it was so funny. Concluding, it's just a great bunch of families. On our way home I was extremely tired. When we arrived home, it was unpacking. Then I made nine lunches for school, cooked dinner, cut six heads of hair, bathed seven children that need more help then others. I cut my husband's hair. Made popcorn. Started defrosting twelve plus fish with a hair blow drier (kidding) Although over twelve fish are defrosting in our bathtub. If this week isn't busy enough, I'm smoking fish all this week! Now here I am, writing.......reminiscing while being sleep deprived! What's better then this weekend, is being home. To end this post I was telling a funny story this past weekend (at Homewood) about what happened to my husband while I was away for a few hours Christmas shopping on Thursday night. I come home and he's clearly frustrated with one eye closed. It was watering like there was something in it. I asked, "What's wrong with you?" At first he told me that I didn't want to know....then proceeded to explain that our littlest daughter vomited all over him so he put her in the bath. Not long after and without my husband's acknowledgement, our daughter pooped and started to paint lovely brown streaks up and down the side of the tub. So she clearly needed cleaning, the bathtub needed cleaning and while he was doing this, he somehow got poop in his eye! For him, it wasn't so funny although I'm still laughing. So when I arrived home he was still having the after shocks from the watering eye complaining that he might get pink eye! LOL After telling this story at Camp Homewood on my husband's behalf, the funny father that I wrote about above told me to take a picture of this book title and show my husband. It was called, "Thank you POO" (A Winnie the Pooh Story)When I showed him this evening, he said chuckling, "I had to buy eye drops.....it's still in there!" I was informed to tell him that the next time he bathes our daughter that he should be provided safety goggles, rubber gloves and a haz mat suit! OH home sweet home..................

"We're outta here!"

2011-11-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

"High Ho....High Ho, off to camp we go!" Friday, Saturday and Sunday we're off to our annual adoption family camp. Camp Homewood. Our children are extremely excited. A camp where our children connect with other family friends, where they sail, horseback ride, try archery and rivalry, play sports at the bus barn, have fun on the obstacle course, do crafts, multiple different activities and prepare for a talent show. It's me and ten of our children with approximately fifteen other families! I might not get any sleep but it's all about our children. Well.......I believe I have some friends there too! While I'm away with our children, my husband is finishing flooring. It's his perfect opportunity to take advantage of an empty house! (I sure hope he dusts after!) On our way to Camp Homewood, we always visit Grandma and Grandpa. :) Their new Boston better be ready for some attention because we're coming! So.....this is a short, quick to the point post because I have some packing to do. This time I have extra equipment to pack! (A wheelchair, a rolling chair and a highchair) I wonder where that will go?! Have a great weekend everyone! We will!

"November is Adoption Awareness Month"

2011-11-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

I've been questioning myself if I wanted to post this video I made of our family. I know that one or two of our teens might not like the fact they're captured in my blog and I struggled wondering if I really wanted to share my family. It seems like facebook takes over in that department anyways - my intent with this pictured video was to not only capture memories but it was originally prepared for adoption pre-placement purposes. Every time we adopted a child/children I made videos like this one. In this video, some of us are missing but it gives you an idea what we'd send to our child/children before being placed. It's all about family. There is some pictures that aren't perfect but the truth is we're a group of people connected as a family. Family always starts with a parent/parents that care, that provide and support. From there, it really doesn't matter where we came from or who we are.....what matters is we're a family. November is Adoption Awareness Month and this is my contribution that adoption matters. (I hope my video worked) As you know we're a large adoptive family with fourteen children. From age 3 to 21 and every where in between. We have several different special needs, different disorders, attachment issues and mental illnesses. Our dynamics can change daily but something I know for sure is my husband and I's dedication as parents will always remain true. Adopting children isn't easy, it's a commitment that changes lives forever. Since we've been advocating for adoption, we've learned that it's not just for other Countries, it's within Canada, within our own Province. It's not just about babies, it's for all ages. I've learned that there is extreme adoptions that happen for young adults, nineteen years and over. Children that age out of foster care without a family, still need a family. A place to call home; too come home during holidays. It's not necessarily about financial support, it's just having a connection. Many teenagers seem confused about adoption which is understandably so. Eventually after those soul searching years, those years of just wanting independence comes the years of needing stable healthy parents to confide in, seek support from and be adults with respectfully. I can honestly write, as I've always written.......we have our challenges, especially with teenagers. I'm also proud to say, especially with our experiences with our oldest son. We're still his family. Two years of confusion, being lost and trying to find himself, coming and going (searching the birth family) He's moving back home. Now this is where adoption is challenging but this is also where our son has a family to come home too. Parents that care. So I would never write that adopting is a piece of pie. It takes an enormous amount of patience, understanding, education and heart break. Then comes the hardest part, forgiveness. If you have all these qualities, adopt. And remember that in our beginning we only wanted to adopt one boy, age eleven with no special needs. (That never happened) If we knew what we know now, we would have adopted what they call, "Severe special needs" from our beginning because for us, we're here for as long as life allows us. Children need permanency. A place to belong no matter what their special needs or age. So here we are with fourteen children doing the best we can. Our usual bunch with us is ten children as our older four are independently moving on. It's our life, we make decisions and choices accordingly on how we feel is the best way to raise our vulnerable children that have come from different forms of neglect and abandonment. Children regardless of their unfortunate pasts that need a future to look forward too. Children that innocently ended up in foster care because there was no other birth family able to care/nor want them during their childhood years, that's why adoption is so important. Us = different individuals forming a family through adoption. I will always be proud to say, "Yes they're all mine" because adoption isn't just signing of legal papers, it's taking on a parent role that was lost from their birth families for good reasons. For the child it's taking on a new journey, a new life with hopefully more positive results, to form a foundation so their futures will shift with having stable connections. So the cycle of children in care lessons because there is family involvement. As you can tell, I can ramble endlessly on why adoption is so important. It's about the children. It's about their future, our world's future and even just adopting one child is making a difference. Opening your heart, your home and be willing to not expect a child to attach immediately (perhaps never) nor be perfect because adoption isn't finding that "perfect child", it's giving love simply because a child needs it. Now what better month to call up the Children of Ministry and Families, contact an adoption worker and start the process then November, the Adoption Awareness Month! Now that I'm finished my advocating, I really have to get going.......and I've noticed that my video I wanted to share wouldn't download. So I apologise and perhaps there's a reason for that too!

Tis the occasion comes the season!

2011-10-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween. Our Friday night consisted of gutting and carving pumpkins. It was a three hour process. We managed to carve eleven pumpkins. There was an alien, a few big teeth guys, a pikachu, a stick man, a ghost, a spider, a few happy faces and a "little mom" because I chose the smallest pumpkin. Our home smells of burning pumpkins slash roasting pumpkin seeds! I made two different pumpkin seed flavors, my traditional with garlic and seasoning salt. The other has more zing with a Spanish seasoning. One thing I love with every occasion is the different smells that distinguish one from another. Honestly I'm not a huge fan of Halloween. In the past I dressed up. Now I take the day walking around in my pajama's with my bed hair. It's one day a year I can actually get away with whatever I want. What I don't like is the candy. The endless wrappers. Finding wrappers inside, outside and in pockets during laundry. Finding wrappers in the lint screen. Another Mother said that she would allow her children to eat all the candy, go nuts, get sick until it was all gone in a matter of days. Usually we will take the candy and manage it accordingly. Either way, it's an occasion less desired. I do like roasting the pumpkin seeds! And after October 31st is when I really get down to business with the countdown until Christmas. We're really looking forward to Christmas this year because it's at our house with all our family on Christmas day. It will be a big group gathering worth having. (Something we don't do very often, if at all) I find as I get older that life with family is so important. This year I believe to be especially, so I won't hold back.......it's going to be a very Merry Christmas. I'm not writing about "gifts" I'm writing about gatherings with food and games throughout December. Remember December 1st Christmas here begins. (oh boy, oh boy) For us, it's one month away the day after Halloween. So Happy October 31st everyone, no matter how you celebrate it, Nov 1st is the day after and the next season begins!

Aug 14/1999

2011-10-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

We've been going through lots of inside material items. Eliminating while shuffling because most of our internal renovations are done! I came across a picture of my husband and I when we were married over twelve years ago. I sat down reminiscing. I remember fondly one of the first conversations we had together. Interestingly enough it was about children. I already had two from a previous marriage. This conversation was about adopting believe it or not. Our original plan was to adopt overseas. We never knew we could adopt within our own Province. We also never realized while saying our vows that we would have a large family. I remember telling my husband that I didn't want to be married. I tried several times to basically get rid of him. I know, I know........I really wasn't deserving. He never left. He was a man that was already dedicated and knew exactly what he wanted regardless of what I was telling him. Eventually he won my heart. I often hear people say, "It was love at first sight" with their relationships, I personally don't believe that. "Lust at first sight" - maybe; although love is developed through time, connection and compatibility. Thinking back I would change only one detail about our wedding day. Adding my sister. She didn't attend. Otherwise it was a memorable day. We were married on the beach. A simple beach wedding walking in bare feet in the sand. My husband wanted the theme based around his 57 Chevy, so our colors were red and white. Red roses with white Lilly's and our cake topper was a 57 Chevy die cast car. Our wedding wasn't catered, our whole family pitched in and made a wonderful spread of different foods. We rented a little hall and celebrated. The next day we left with our two children to Disneyland. Not exactly a honeymoon but right from the beginning it was about our children. Here's a man with no children taking two then up to fourteen children without question in a matter of twelve married years. (I believed I warned him) Regardless, looking at the picture above reminds me of who we were, where we started and as much as we have our moments, I'm fortunate he's my husband. We aren't perfect but we're still a couple. When I think about him, I think he's a hard working family man. A man that will do anything for his family. In fact, he's a one man show building our home, taking care of our vehicles, absolutely doing everything to better our lives. He gives more then he gives to himself. Always has. When I think about "us" - we are meant for each other. I know of some other large/larger families, and it's not a life for everyone. So meeting someone who is compatible that can grow together through all the challenges raising children and doesn't jump a plane is remarkable! My husband will never leave.......we often joke saying if anything it would be the war of the roses with a white line through-out our house stating, "Do not cross" until one of us gives up holding the peace sign. (It's never come to that) Pictures bring up many memories. We have tons of albums that I can't wait to spread out one evening and have our children reminisce like I do. It's an evening we're all looking forward too. It will bring up conversation, we will laugh and it's a bonding experience for everyone. Like passing the object and letting the one holding the object speak, it will be passing the albums one by one instead of a movie night. (I'll still make the garlic popcorn) For now, I have to go thank my husband for sticking around, being a great provider and Father to all our children. I know all to well, it's a very thankless position to be in. In conclusion, after all this significant reminiscing, I have to write; I give so much acknowledgement and credit to individuals who are single parenting. I recognize what I have with my husband and for those who are parenting alone, wow. Good for you! I mean that soul heartily and if I was a millionaire - I would reward you but for now, I just can't write enough how wonderful you are! For me, August 14/1999 was my winning ticket - my husband.

"Action means more then words"

2011-10-25T13:27:00.000-07:00

Now that our home is 99% completed inside, it's nothing but transformation out. My husband located on the tractor in the above picture has been contemplating about our property. We sought advice from a expertise source and realized quickly we're going to loose some trees. We found out even laying soil a foot thick or less can kill a tree. It makes sense, burying already rooted trees is a rotting casket. While we assessed our situation, some of our trees are already dying from being disturbed when our home was being built. This made our decision easier. Our plan is to remove the trees if they die. Otherwise our home is nestled with the privacy of nature all around us. When we lived in Fort St John we had a turn around driveway. So my husband is creating just that. A driveway where people can loop in and out. Where our children can drive their go-carts around and around. I've always been a beach comber and we had the idea of large planks of driftwood outlining our driveway instead of landscaping ties. The idea is separating our driveway from the rest of our yard. In hopes one day planting grass. We've been thinking about my greenhouse and where that would go. I always have enjoyed gardening and find it very therapeutic. The idea of a greenhouse raises questions because if a tree falls or a child decides to attack it with a foreign object when we're not looking, the greenhouse will be destroyed. So simple raised garden beds with fencing around it might be the ideal solution. Everything we do, we think about the preventative measures that might need to happen first before building it. (The pros and cons) It's just not about children, it's the area with the ideal lighting and animals. My husband and I work hard enough where we want the ending results to be successful. We have had beautiful weather that we're enjoying outside. So our work projects have shifted from inside to out. In about a weeks time, I will have my own craft room. An actual room where I can leave everything out while not working on it. Go back and it will be in the same place I left it! (Now that's a concept!) People still wonder on how we accomplish everything, basically it's all about "action" We're going to get-er done. I hear tons of people suggesting they're going to do something but nothing ever transpires. It's true, action means more then words. It's like a fine tuned vehicle, it won't run efficiently if not maintained. Like our home, it is what it is because of our work (action) involved. Everything and anything is an action. I'm not going to promise our children they're having fresh buns in their lunches, they are having fresh buns; just like we did build a larger home for our family. Somehow, some way anything can be done. Life isn't an excuse. Life shouldn't be full of broken thoughts. Honestly, our bank said, "Absolutely not, we can not help you build a bigger home" We did it anyway! Our children's comfort, our family's yearly memories with ongoing activities and our promises comes before any excuse known to man. And that's my "Amen" for today!

"Honor what can be"

2011-10-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt that you've had a run of the worst luck? I could feel that way but interestingly enough, I don't. Over three years ago I found a lump in my left breast. Basically it was removed, tested and it was benign. Otherwise a growth that was not cancerous. Anyone who finds something that shouldn't be there worries. It's good to worry because it initiates our own responsibilities to look after ourselves. To be tested. Three years ago I remember in detail the appointments, the time framing before the day surgery removing the foreign mass. There was those uncomfortable appointments, the mammograms and ultrasounds. There was a feeling of unknown. After the surgery there was the waiting process. For myself and probably like many others it's always in the back of our minds. Questioning, "Is this Breast Cancer?" I have someone very close to me that indeed had breast cancer, fought and had a double mastectomy from finding a little lump the size of a kidney bean. Her prognoses wasn't good but she's alive today and cancer free. I think the most of us attend our days without thought about our own health. It's not even about falling unexpectedly ill, who knows when it's our time. I know we can't donate to every cause but who knows that that cause won't be ours. I've come to a realization that my health is very important. I have children but many children that need my presence. My husband without me will struggle. That's indeed the facts. So in my mind, I cannot leave this world until at least our youngest is sixteen. We don't know from one week to the next. Three years ago when I was speaking to the specialist with my final results he said to me, "You might be benign but use this as a wake up call, live your life and none of us are safe from disease" Most of my readers are adoptive parents. Remember waiting by the phone, wondering if this was your child/children? That call wouldn't come. If you haven't waited for a test, it's the same idea. The anxiety builds inside and you want to call, perhaps you call and there is no answers. There is nothing anyone can do but wait. I've been there on several levels. And like adoption, like a disease, if you haven't been in that situation, it's hard to understand. Sometimes hard to support. So what do we do? Everything is internalized. For me, it's mostly burden or why worry another because ultimately the unknown just is, so why burden? That's why there is some people you never knew was sick, or you didn't know they were adopting until their child is placed. It's less stress, less explanation. Less disappointment. I believe this is a rationalized secret until the facts present themselves. I'm writing this because I know all too well about waiting for results. Regardless if it's with health or adoption. We all make decisions accordingly on how to approach our family and friends. I really think that's "Ok" In the meantime, living, enjoying our time with everyone in our life is crucial because who knows. Something I explain to our children all the time - there will be ongoing events of loss so enjoy each other. Treat each other well, love as if every day were its last. I'm turning 39 and I really honor life. Most importantly I believe my inner qualities come from respecting what is and "can be" with personal strength...............and push on from there. We can wait for that phone call, it's on how we're going to deal with it, when it rings.................

"Why we adopt; see lower posted song"

2011-10-19T22:56:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across a song that's located below that I titled, "Why we adopt" Out of all our adoptions this song reminds me mostly of one of our sons. He was in ten different foster homes by the age of nine. When we met him, he wouldn't look at us. When we went to "The house" they called it, it was nothing I've ever experienced stepping into. There was workers that came in and out on shifts. I learned it's a typical group home setting. Can you imagine having such a unstable childhood as this? It was scary for all of us because there was no trust. No confidence. No love. Our son was only used to being sedated while mis- behaving and taken away by the police. I remember fondly in our first year him yelling, "Call the police on me!" I then said, "I don't call the police to take away my child" He came to us with a black garbage bag half full of used clothing. No toys. He was separated from all his siblings. Now today, he has a home for as long as he wants it. A family that will remain forever. Listen to the song below, this is why we adopt.

Why we adopt

2011-10-19T22:08:00.000-07:00

Be your on soul surfer

2011-10-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about that movie Soul Surfer. About the young professional surfer girl that had her arm completely removed from a shark bite in Hawaii. A factual story. A extremely traumatic and devastating life changing experience. It's a movie that everyone should own because when life seems to become challenging, reflecting on Soul Surfer would inspire anyone to realize that life isn't that bad. In fact, life is what we make it. It's about our choices and on how we choose to deal with different scenarios. Believe me I've had some days of question. Mainly with experience, maturity and education comes our coping mechanisms. I awake everyday with a clean slate. (At least I try too) There is nothing we can do about yesterday. That I have learned. A friend of mine continually says, "In fifty years from now, no one is going to care nor remember yesterday" She's completely right because neither will I! Basically if I (you) know in our hearts that we're doing the best we can, then that's a day forward. Lately I've had many negative comments about my parenting. (stemming from an unhealthy source I will add) The interesting conclusion is regardless on where it comes from, they're not in my position raising fourteen children. Many with special needs, mental illnesses and behaviours. Nor could they. At the end of my daily dedication while everyone is sleeping; I reflect back on all what transpired. When I awake it's a new day. This is what I'm working on for myself every morning - a step forward in a positive direction with a continuing smile on my face. Knowing there is many reasons to feel blessed on a daily basis. My advice for today is if anyone is feeling overwhelmed or just life challenged to their extreme, watch "Soul Surfer" A few quotes I like - because I love quotes!

"Accept the Challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of Victory" - George S Patton

"I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned" - Carol Burnett.

Lastly and so truthfully a quote to say everyday - "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission" - Eleanor Roosevelt

Soar to your greatest heights - Me

Monkeying around

2011-10-17T21:39:00.000-07:00

Every night is exactly the same. I prepare most of our children's plates. Our older "teens" of course make their own. I was told that I'm extremely organized. In fact, I am. Ever since I was a little girl I lined up every doll. Monkeys were my favorite. Now I line up plates and ten school lunches every night! Lately a few of our children have been literally monkeying around. They have been climbing trees with their Monkey friends and swinging about. While I watch them, it reminds me of my childhood. My mother always had a hard time finding me because I was running through the forest. Sometimes I miss my childhood. If I could do anything over again like everyone my age states, I wouldn't change my childhood but I definitely wouldn't be monkeying around during my teenage years. Although if my life didn't take the course it did, I wouldn't be here today. So I've always believed everything happens for a reason. Unfortunately our life lessons steers us down paths that can be harder then anticipated. In the end, it's a contributing factor on who we become. My husband since a little boy was engine driven, he's now a Mechanic and Auto body Technician soon to be accepting business. For me it was all about typewriters and writing stories, helping people. Now I openly blog and practice first aid. I really think that our childhood dreams can come true. So tonight my husband and I were also monkeying around! (With balloons) We don't get out much but with all this monkey business going on in the trees around here we were laughing a lot! In a previous post I wrote about Laughter Yoga. One of many posts I probably deleted. Laughter is the best medicine and with allowance, anything can be funny! In fact some of the most ridiculous things we've heard is extremely funny. My idea of life is it shouldn't be so difficult and it's really on how we're going to deal with the possible stresses within it. Dinner for example. Most people can't comprehend on how we manage daily but it's on how we lay out our plates. We efficiently sail throughout our days with organization, structure and routine. My three favorite words. Then in between we fill in the gaps with a little monkeying around. Sometimes it can be that simple. (And "No" that's not Monkey poop on their plates!) Laugh - it's good for you!

"Ho ho ho blabber"

2011-10-13T22:04:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's the middle of October. I'm finally thinking about Christmas. This year we're staying home and I'm looking forward to decorating, having endless nights of company with platters and games. In the next coming weeks I will be smoking salmon and thinking practically what will be underneath our tree come Christmas morning! With many of our children they seem to either loose pieces of their toy sets or break their toys purposely. I'm carefully contemplating what our children need this year. Lately I've been going through their clothing and belongings. The easiest way to do this is pile all of it in the middle of the floor. From there separate into the keep pile and the Salvation Army pile. We have had many garbage bags full leave already! I am not one for clutter or unused items. Our oldest daughter is moving out November 1st and I went through all my kitchen supplies. It turned out I had tons of smaller casserole dishes, crock pots and rice cookers that I don't use. So the back of her jeep is full of items that will be useful for her. It feels therapeutic to unload. I usually do this twice a year. Before the Christmas season is perfect! My husband is finishing the tale ending of our living room, drywall, spraying the ceiling, painting extra and it's going to be SO NICE to be finally finished our house before 2012! 2012 I feel is going to be a wonderful year starting off with myself heading to Edmonton to see my sister in law for the weekend! In the meantime, I'm ready to have a magical Christmas without a blizzard with all our family and friends. I will probably go over board with all the preparations, I remind myself of Chevy Chase in the movie Christmas vacation! Believe it or not, we have a deadline for decor, Dec 1st and that way the whole month is magical.

Remember December 17th from 4-8pm is our annual Adoptive family Christmas party. Bring a gift under $10.00 for each child with their names labelled for Santa's bag and it's a potluck dinner. There will be craft tables, tons of food and dancing. Plus door prizes! For more information and location please email me. Also a more formal invite will be sent out in November, so if I don't have your email address, please send that to hohnstein@shaw.ca

I don't know about you but for me, it's already "tis the season!" and hopefully we'll see you soon on Dec 17th!

Control

2011-10-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

Years ago I never knew the truth about our parental rights. These days I'm learning that we don't have any. Anyone raising children should probably know that they don't have any rights. Did you know that your child at the age of twelve can walk into any health unit and confidentially obtain birth control? "Logically it's a great idea because children are becoming afraid to talk with their parents about sex which could lead to more teen pregnancies" the nurse explained. "So why not allow them to freely get what they need elsewhere" Well.....at age twelve this is teaching them that they don't need to seek information nor permission from their parents. At age twelve giving birth control is allowing sexual intercourse. Here's to the beginning of children knowing that "their rights" outweigh what's best for them according to their parents. We have approximately sixteen years to establish good fundamental skills and belief systems for our children, then before we know it, they have more rights then we do! Some of our children we don't have sixteen years; we have as many as we have after an adoption placement - while battling attachment disorders and several other different special needs. You would think there would be more supports in place for parents and especially when there is a history of neglect, addiction, multiple placements and mental illnesses. Not necessarily. Being "sixteen" seems to give teenagers a freedom of decisions regardless if they're right or wrong and there is nothing a parent can do about it. Calling the police is a waste of their resources because you can't keep run-aways home. If you have a mentally ill teenager, you can't physically bring them anywhere without their consent, they don't have to take medication nor seek counseling. Everyone knows there is a child helpline. I recently questioned why there isn't an early intervention program for parents? So when there is a teenager making harmful decisions regarding their lifestyle, their future - why can't parents call for an intervention where help can forcefully happen?! It's frustrating to know while raising children, possibly looking at our three year old wondering how his future will be because ultimately we're not in control of it. Yes we have many years to develop his skills in many ways but you just never know the path he'll choose during those crucial confusing adolescent years in which we have no control. One direction can change everything. My debate was if there was an early intervention for parents basically meaning control, there would be less teenage pregnancies, lower addiction and homeless rates which would resolve in less children in care. Just something so simple could change the course of our future. I keep hearing there is loop holes in our system. Yes we do and these loop holes makes history repeat itself. It's a domino effect. Personally if I'm going to advocate for anything, it would be for our parental rights. I have been patient allowing our teenagers to seek their independence. Seeking independence is one thing; defiant, verbally abusive, "in this cloud" of belief they can do what they want, when they want is completely disrespectful and ridiculously allowed within our society. I've been meaning to write about this for sometime. I know there is parents that don't know what to do and the fact is we don't because we can't do anything but watch shaking our heads in hopes that the light bulb turns back on. Perhaps some of you have no idea on what I'm writing about because you don't yet have teenagers or your teenagers sailed through perfectly fine although just beware. Like me, I am always shocked on what the next day can bring. For us parents, like I'm learning, "It's not about me" I say this everyday. For us, we stick to our guns and that I believe to be caring parents regardless if it looks ugly from the other side. In the meantime, we have many children - many teenagers to parent within our future and lucky for them, we're getting experienced. And a thought; parents don't need to be silent, loop holes within the system can be corrected and with enough avocation, early interventions regarding teenage control could and should happen. This is where our government funding should be directed - where it all begins...........

Define family

2011-10-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

Feeling ill or not it was a beautiful day that wasn't going to be wasted. Thirteen of us decided to go venture off for the day at the corn field. Upon entering there's a fee with a family rate. So I asked if we qualified for this rate. She said, "No" Being that it was a gorgeous day with lineups behind us I thought I wasn't going to stir a fuss although something inside me questioned, "Define family?" Believe it or not, there was a day I wasn't confrontational but having a larger family needs advocating! So while the lineup grew I continued to ask, "How much then because we're one family and on your price list it states a family rate of $20.00?" "So if you aren't going to honor the family rate because of our size, how much? How much is the group rate? How much then if I have two under five, three under ten, six under fifteen and two adults?" I continued to ask. Personally I don't care who's eyes roll these days.....I just wanted to know an amount. The lady was clearly confused and finally said, "You can have our family rate" "Thank you" I said smiling. What was clear, no one could define what a family actually looks like. Personally I think it is honorable for establishments to honor their family rates. Large families will return and that equals profit because we will continue to go where we're acknowledged as a family. Not only that, we bought thirteen ice creams at $2.00 each! I do have to say it was a really great day together. Our children went on hayrides, we managed to find all four of the hidden objects consisting of a flower, a moon, a maple leaf and a star. We fed the piglets, goats and sat near a bomb fire. Definitely a better day. After the day we came home and had a BBQ. As much as I thought our weekend was looking bleak on how I'm feeling physically, it brightened with the sun and with our family enjoying a wonderful Thanksgiving Sunday! There was so many moments that made me smile......like our littlest daughter yelling, "Baby, baby" but everyone parroted "Beep Beep" (It was a had to be there moment) Then our eleven year old daughter was feeding an ostrich corn on the cob, she screamed with every bite the ostrich would take but she wouldn't let go of the corn! After our day I thought to myself......without as many children as we have, our odds on experiencing what we do would be less, our laughter would be minimized and I felt so comforted that most of our children are still filling our days with their joy. We definitely have so much to be grateful for, basically family is people in it on whom we love and care for. With ours, that can be anybody wanting to be here. We've been looking after a little girl for over two years now and she joined us today. She made me a picture saying, "I'm as bright as the sun" (I try to be) Now that Thanksgiving is coming to an end, I'm always thankful for everyone in my life. I always will be even when it's difficult to define on who we are.

Consequences

2011-10-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

This week has been a fast moving jet. Unfortunately I'm not feeling well and I haven't prepared for Thanksgiving. A few days ago I thought I had a pinched nerve. I stretched. I used A535. I had hot baths. Thursday I awoke to more severe pain circulating my lower right back, hip and into my groin. From there it has spread down into my knee. The pain hasn't subsided. I went to my family doctor. (I never go and see him unless it's an emergency!) He was concerned I was there! I was embarrassed I was there explaining that I shouldn't be because it's probably a pinched nerve but I explained I can't sleep, I can't walk properly, I loose function with my right leg. It's painful. The only way I could explain myself was saying it feels like a chemical plant burst inside the right side of my body. He looked at me and said, "It's not a pinched nerve" It's more likely Shingles. If it isn't Shingles it's your central nervous system and we'll do more tests next week after the holiday. I'm suppose to watch for a rash or blisters. Today I'm completely consumed on how I feel. Emotionally and physically. Turns out I have Shingles. Anyone who doesn't know what Shingles is, it's a disease that's painful, a blistering skin rash due to the virus that causes chicken pox. I had chicken pox at a young age and later in life some individuals develop Shingles because the disease lies dormant for years until the nervous system is weakened or from extreme stress. In my case, it's affecting my motor nerves which controls movement. So my right side has onsets of paralyses and weakness. In other words, I'm not very happy about it. Today I was going to do my last minute grocery shop for Thanksgiving but I'm feeling slightly lost with my capabilities. I wasn't going to write. Honestly I'm very teary. So Shingles aren't contagious. Although with direct contact with the blisters, someone who hasn't caught the chicken pox virus can catch chicken pox. So now I wonder who of our children will come down with the chicken pox virus? Interestingly enough I asked my doctor, "Isn't Shingles an elderly disease?" It can effect younger individuals if they have a weaker immune system or are under a lot of stress. "OK" I thought. So now that I know I have Shingles, it's approximately 3-5 weeks recovery. A few years ago my father had Shingles. I was told that it was so painful for him he had a hard time wearing clothing and it took months for his recovery. Everyone is different and I'm only at the beginning stage of a disease that I would never think of having. So who knows.....one thing I know is I'm learning that I have to let life go..............I have to let go when our teenagers make poor choices and I have to realize everyone has a destiny. I'm not in charge, only God is. I know this is where most of my stress is. I just have been so consumed on making a great life for our children; I just want so much for our children and when it doesn't go my way, (yes my way) it's very upsetting. This is my life but it's not about me. Confusing? Sure is sometimes. I don't believe I'm in denial but managing feelings is hard to do. Everyone who knows me, witnesses I'm quite positive......probably lately not so much. And that in itself I feel I let people down. I'm guilty as charged and I'm really not feeling well so who cares. That's what my teenagers keep telling me. Although in the end.......everyone does care and reality is reality. For now, my husband is out buying last minute supplies for Thanksgiving because I can't even drive with my right leg. Reality is things that actually exist, not on how they might appear or be imagined. Eventually our teenagers will see this too. The harder part of reality is facing the facts, the consequences of what is. Like me - mine are Shingles most likely caused by stress.

"Swimming off the dysfunction while allotting in our shadows"

2011-10-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

Today was a pro-d day in our district. Our morning seemed somewhat dysfunctional to begin with because we have a few complicated issues. I believe I'm developing a thicker skin with a sense of humor. We decided today that our focus wasn't on the "complicated issues" and thirteen of us went out for lunch then swimming. We all enjoyed ourselves. I was the mommy shark in the pool grabbing legs and our children just thrived on the positive attention. My husband and I talk frequently about our children. We are very aware and always watching each and every one of our children's behaviours. Although some of our children that have more behavioural issues attract a lot of our attention and it leaves our quieter ones shadowing. This bothers us. For years we have been taking our children out separately but I'm coming to the conclusion it needs to be more often. Our quiet shadows need to be taken out more. Today we went out for the day as a group. We played as one. It was great. Nothing else mattered. I was literally swimming in circles grabbing legs as our children yelled, "Chase me" Our middle bunch was able to venture further off. The funny thing is, is my husband was warned four times about doing something wrong in the pool. I would ask him, "How many times do you have to be told?" Our littlest daughter was so happy, I was doing a lot of therapy with her. Standing, swimming on her front and back, floating and she even bumb scooted all over the shallow end. I watched our children play piggy in the middle, it was a great day! One of our routines was swimming every Sunday. It also minimizes baths. Now when we come out of the pool and into the showers, we've left no space. We had another father laugh saying to his one son, "This is a family shower take-over!" For us it's a process swimming. Try dressing sticky wet children one after another, I usually take six and it's one at a time without disclosing privates. It takes us a good 30 minutes at least to accomplish a change room dressing! I find having a large family you need patience, after all we aren't going anywhere naked! By the time we arrived home, I was making BBQ salmon with rice and peas and our first six children were in bed by seven. Days like these need to happen frequently. None of us was worried, stressed with any complicated issues because we were having fun. That's what life should be about and especially for children. I'm going to admit that I live by my calendar. I look at it every night and every morning. Whatever is written first takes priority unless it's a bigger factor then the other. I've decided to have a separate calendar for our children. A calendar that they can glance at where their name will be allotted. Of course this will be in sequence but it will guarantee them their time with either myself or their dad. Special quality one on one time. It can be here at home or somewhere else. This way any little shadows will be guaranteed their time. Our large family works because my husband and I dedicate ourselves every day. We are constantly watching and thinking about each and every one of our children. This is our life. If anyone is thinking about growing larger as a family, I do stress that it's not easy. We have many little individuals to be responsible for, many teenagers that are giving us complicated issues and even our adult children I'm always looking for ways to help support. Our life is a dedication for our children and that's why it works. 24/7 All I have to say is, "Don't do it, if you can't commit your lifetime" I didn't leave much "Ums" in this conclusion. Basically for us we live it and it might sound easy, but it takes a dedication to raise many different children with special needs and ages. People often ask, "Do you get help?" Meaning a nanny I presume............I smile thinking I'm not Angelina Jolie......answering, "No, it's my husband and I and it's not chaotic" Ultimately it's purely our dedication with structure, routine and organization with some dysfunctional moments and that's when we go swimming!

My blog

2011-10-01T20:45:00.000-07:00

I never realized when I started writing that my words would make any impact of any kind or that I would attract any readers. I'm not the greatest with my grammar and vocabulary. I'm also not a professionally educated individual, just a Mother learning to raise children with different special needs. When I write it releases my thoughts, it doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong - I'm just another person sharing experiences and sometimes hopeful words of wisdom learned through my own mistakes. After all I'm always searching for answers, a remedy to fix something that transpires throughout our day. I'm starting to figure out I'm not God. I definitely can't fix everything. Today I spoke on an Adoption Education panel for the third time. I enjoy speaking and could probably talk for hours with a-lot of "Ums" connecting to my answering and memory process. I was able to touch base on most of everything but it wasn't in depth like I can be on here. My blog seems to generate different and sporadic topics and sometimes when I re-read I'm rolling my own eyes asking, "What was I thinking writing that!?" But what's done is done like spilled milk. You're probably wondering where I'm going with all my jibber on this post like many others.....this post is for the individuals following my blog for many years. Some I know, some I'm getting to know and many I don't. I receive many confidential emails about my posts and I have to say that I feel so blessed to connect with others. Either they're looking for support or giving me encouraging words that support me during our challenging times. There is one lady that has touched my heart. I haven't met her yet but she's a person who writes me inspiring and beautiful emails. I just want her to know that I'm deeply grateful, appreciative and so honored that she's come forth confidentially through this blog. It's just amazing on how many people that we're unaware of who's out there that can make a difference in ones life. So this post is directed to anyone who feels alone, or feels they're going through something that someone hasn't - we all have gone through something and we all have something to share. We all can be equally helpful in ones life strangers or not. I think what's in the way of helping others is usually judgement and perhaps being afraid of speaking out. I've learned everyone has an opinion, it's our choice if we're going to listen to it or not. Sometimes just listening and leaving with pieces is helpful enough, like my blog. (Take it or leave it) I am dedicating this post to my readers that have connected with me because you've made a difference for me, you've given me the belief that perhaps I'm not all smoke, I can provide some support and if anything some realities that we're not alone as parents. Before this new improved template I wrote over 200+ posts that I deleted. (I regret it now) It was a few years, many hours of my thoughts and feelings I shared. I won't delete again.......because I've come to my own reality that if I'm mis-understood or I'm not the blogger for you, you won't read or you will for entertainment. Regardless there is so many people that have touched my heart, that I continue to write for and I'm so happy to have grown our support system through writing. Again, I'm very appreciative for everyone who opens their hearts and shares. Without it, we all could be lost wondering if we're alone? It's therapeutic to share experiences and feelings. In conclusion, thank-you so much for becoming a part of our lives through this blog. I appreciate it more then you know. Anne - you're wonderful and thank-you so much and I can't wait to meet you! Dhaanyabad..........

I am proud

2011-09-28T23:44:00.000-07:00

We have a new chapter in our life beginning. Two of our adult children are moving out. Our oldest son already has and now our oldest daughter is moving. Before I had a really hard time with this, meaning our young adult children leaving our nest. Now not so much. I think from sixteen on it's a struggle being a parent while our teenagers seek their independence. So when they're eighteen and above wanting the responsibilities of looking after themselves, I'm surprisingly supportive! It's an exciting feeling I get knowing that my job as a parent supporting their child years are over. I explained that my parenting shifts. I can visit! I can help when called upon. Something what I love to do is bake, cook and share food! Visiting bringing food should open their door right?! Mmmm......So I'm excited! I'm a Mother with toddlers that I'm still potting training, I have a kindergartner, a grade two-er, a grade three-er, then four in grade six, one in grade eight, I home school our grade eleven-er, a soon to be graduate, then our adult children. One in University and the other who seems to be working really hard with many jobs. I feel somewhat experienced as a Mother. Now that I've felt every milestone that a child could have including many different special needs and developing needs, I feel confident to move into the next stage of their life. With this experience and confidence, I feel more able to approach this over and over again being that we have many children that will reach every milestone. Every stone turned over is a kiss good luck from me and it's bitter sweet. My children are my life. My daughter age twenty one, my son age eighteen I'm still here for. I definitely don't want to over-step my boundaries as their Mother into their adulthood like perhaps I did their childhood but I would love to be apart of it. That's why I keep writing how important family is.....parents and family are a great asset to have. I know that I have been enjoying my parents the more I age. Parents are the best friends we could ever ask for and I am so thankful that I have recognized this with mine. With that next step, that next leap.....my children living on their own.....I'm not only excited, I am proud. It's natural at this point to take a few steps back and I'm completely "ok" with this. I cheer my children onward as now it's their turn...........and I quietly laugh thinking we only have twelve more to go with three staying forever I'm sure. And here's a secret....."I'm proud with that too!"

Their "Tickle Trunk" Mother

2011-09-26T23:12:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again to pull out our tickle trunk. Yes the picture above is me wearing a unicorn head, funky white and purple gloves, a red and white nightgown with my ole jacket, boots and red wings hooked to my back. I used to be totally into Halloween. In the past ten years I've changed. I don't mind taking our children out trick or treating for an hour or so while they laugh hysterically at their Mother dressed like she rolled in a box of unwanted items. We also attend a pumpkin walk with hundreds of lit pumpkins and at the end of the trail there is hot chocolate and a bomb fire. Every year I buy ten-ish pumpkins and our family carves different faces or images into the pumpkins while I roast the pumpkin seeds in garlic butter. Last year some of our children laughed at me while some of our pumpkins rolled through the store parking lot. I lost a few from falling off a over loaded grocery cart! I quickly looked around and gathered up our cracked pumpkins and left the scene! Now I dread the candy wrappers all over the house, in the pocket of jeans after I've done the laundry! There is nothing worse then melted chocolate in the pocket of jeans! I know I can easily change our traditional night of trick or treating but it's like taking the tooth fairy away. Childhood memories that I love creating and that I want our children to have. So as much as this one night could pass without thought, I, like many others follow the trick or treating tradition. Plus it's just so cute seeing all our children dressed up, we have elephants, lions, unicorns, monkeys basically the animal kingdom! I remember one year I laughed so hard at my husband wearing this mask. While he walked, his mask eyes were constantly looking in the sky. Inside he could see straight ahead but from the outside it looked like he was walking around star gazing. Another year I was trying to make my husband look like a punk. Blue spiky hair. My bright idea was using blue food coloring. Well......my husband rubbed in the blue food coloring into his hair, it seeped into his scalp and eventually running down onto his face. He scrubbed for hours trying to remove the blue stain to his face and his hands. He had this look for days. The funny part of this story is, he didn't look like a punk, he was constantly asked if he was a little blue smurf! Throughout our years of dressing up we've won costume contests (not in the above picture of course) and we've had lots of fun. Stories worth sharing. Even some of our sons as well as my husband has dressed up like girls. The blond hair, the makeup, the frilly dress to the higher heels! Great sports! I can be worse then a commercial or a department store because I already have Thanksgiving, trick or treating and Christmas all being prepared weeks and months in advance! If anything, we have some great laughs together even if it's generalized at my husband or I - after all, I am their tickle trunk Mother.

The place of Harmony

2011-09-25T22:42:00.000-07:00

The opportunity to spend sometime with my parents and some of my children in a place that offers solitude came knocking at our door. Over the weekend I and some of our children went to Malcolm Island to visit my parents while they were on a vacation retreat. We first stopped in at a friends house in Port McNeil where she made us a wonderful homemade soup and cornbread. I haven't had cornbread since I was a child! It was "yummy!" Unfortunately it was too short of a visit because we were off to catch the ferry. Malcolm Island is an Island with a community called Sointula. Meaning the place of harmony. When I was there I was reading some of Sointula's history. In the nineteenth century a group of Finns wanted to design a community where the property was communal, everyone shared and everyone was equal. They believed in sound body, sound mind. Now the people who stayed turned Sointula into a commercial fishing destination. Most of the homes were bright in color and over one hundred years old, the little place we stayed in looked over Port McNeil. My Step dad was a fisherman all his life and knew many people on the Island that still commercial fishes today. There was a 80 year old fisherman who reminded my Mom of my Uncle Al by the name of Al who owns the Marine Tarkanen ways. This Al explained that there is school bus boats transferring students to and from school. Although there was different boats for Caucasian and Native children because they didn't get along. For a short period of time I was shocked (if true) because if anything I would think that steps would have been made to integrate. Sometimes life baffles me. My husband's Grandfather owned the ship yard on Alert Bay, that's where my husband's Mother grew up. The history fascinates me. When we were living up North I saw first hand on how different Native Bands didn't get along, everyone including the Mennonites to "hill-billies" clashed while attending the same Country school. To keep children safe, different buses would come from the different communities. It just reminded me that our pasts aren't a simple fix. As I contemplated possible facts I heard and history I learned while away; I wondered about the communities that are still maintaining a shared living. My limited knowledge on this is the sharing community openly borrows everything and anything regardless if the lenders are home or not. Eventually the item borrowed is returned. I think this is a good concept if it was already your adapted way of life. Just like the families that can all live together in one home. Economically this makes sense in such a expensive world but our society pushes for independence. Mmmm......well anyone who knows me, knows I think A-LOT about absolutely everything. I seem to feed of stories, peoples experiences and knowledge. I try to develop understanding for everything because I've learned with understanding comes acceptance. I've always believed with acceptance comes compassion. (It's like a step by step process just like our feelings) So when I think about the separate boats and buses that transfer different children to and from their communities, I understand that sometimes the reality is keeping the peace by separation. We're all different. Every time I go somewhere I'm learning and recognizing this is how our world integrates - together but on separate boats because sharing doesn't work for everyone. We don't have to travel far to understand that we all live differently. Like the house above, someone lives there simply enjoying nothing but the movement of tides. In conclusion our weekend was interestingly relaxing looking over the lights of Port McNeil while full of education not only for me but some of our children. On our way home we seen two wolves up close with a wolf rescuer and visited with my other parents. We met their new Boston Terrier puppy and headed home. A place that isn't exactly a shared living nor floating on water but a place I would say inviting for all, a home of harmony with tense and relaxed moments with only one ride.

Family circle

2011-09-21T22:39:00.000-07:00

Our liaison worker suggested an idea for our family and I loved it! We actually tried it at dinner tonight. What we're going to do every Saturday night is all of us will be sitting in a circle. I will set the stage with candles and possibly candy, chips or popcorn will be in the middle. You don't have to have food but I'm all about having the atmosphere inviting! While we're settled into our family circle (which could take sometime) we will pass around an object. Whoever has the object speaks about anything they want. While the rest is practicing respect - being quiet. For our family, if there is snickering, teasing, gestured noises, laughing while someone is speaking, they will be removed from the circle until respect can be given. Once the individual is finished, the object is then passed to the next person. We tried this at dinner tonight. (Practicing) I was explaining this exercise and of course we had some "jokers" Although eventually everyone was catching on. It was great. Our five year old son said, "I learned today that I can't punch my sister in her nose" Then our almost seven year old son said, "I really like school and I'm learning about leaves" Our three year old son is so intellectual, in complete sentences he said, ".........went into my bedroom when she wasn't allowed Mom" I smiled thinking that tattling is coming out even with this exercise! When the object reached my husband he said, "There is not enough meat in this stew and how am I suppose to maintain my muscles?" Of course when I held the object I explained the exercise. Needless to say it's an awesome exercise to do with your family. It teaches respect and patience while someone else is talking, we are all listening to each other and everyone at the end feels important to have been able to speak within the group. We will also find out different feelings that we might not ever have known! Our family group would consist of thirteen people for sure. (Our usual group that's together) Another thought to add later is different topics or themed to make it fun. Wouldn't it be fun if we all dressed in grass skirts with flowered lays eating pineapple drinking virgin pina coladas! I can't wait to officially start an evening with our family circle. After practicing during dinner, most of our children wanted to do it again! What will your Saturday night entail?

ADELE- MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE - (For my children)

2011-09-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

Bright lights

2011-09-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

We don't have the aftermath like an earthquake would cause but being Wednesday we're back on track. I will admit all the talk about Cuba with my sister who travels at least twice a year makes me want a plane ticket. That's also not my reality. Although I'm taking 4-5 of our children to Malcolm Island. It's located off of Port McNeil. We'll be there for three days! In the meantime with our rain settling in, I'm back to baking and cooking in my nooked kitchen. Therapeutic Horse riding starts today for two of our girls for the next eleven weeks. Recently our oldest son told me I'm "intense" in regards to my children. I'm thinking he meant by our child numbers but while I think about this comment, to me it means "too involved" I wonder if he has a point? After all, I've written previous posts on a "Happy self" Perhaps I do get caught up with too many feelings inside but my question is, "How do I not?" I openly speak about everything within the support groups that I attend, I write and I acknowledge that I am "intense" So "Thank you son, I know" Our oldest son went through two years of searching for his independence, he still is and honestly because I know he's reading; I do understand. It's just that I am "too intense" wanting everything and anything to be great for him, I love him like I love all our children. Sometimes my feelings get in the way on how to support while our teenagers transition from being a child into being a young adult. It seems that the only way to move out is to move like an earthquake. Eventually everything settles and all the pieces are being picked up, one by one - a little step at a time. In the grand scheme of either days, months and possible years later, there is the brighter side. Like today, it might not be bright outside but inside our home it's calm. I've been explaining to anyone affected by any episode that creating more drama doesn't help any situation. Like myself, it's perfectly healthy to go through all the emotions but we all need to move on and understand that we all need to go through the process of feelings. We all deal with feelings differently and having the respect for one another, we have to give each other time. As a parent, I always remind our children that I am a person with feelings too. In fact I think most children/teens forget we're human beings with an organ called a heart controlled by our brain! It's interesting their response, usually its a pause while they think about me having feelings......then it's, "Sorry Mom" That's the bright light I'm talking about! One day I will write a book but for now, sharing my life through this blog is ideal. My belief it helps me (I love writing) and I always hope it helps you in one way or another. One fact I know for sure; we're not alone as parents. Before I cared about what others thought, today not so much. The only thing I care about is our bright lights and hearing about others!

"One day at a time"

2011-09-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

Finally with some hard wiring directly from our wall, I was able to access the internet. Recently we pulled the wireless access from our house which spiralled a complete shutdown. Not that having no internet is horrible but like most others I correspond through emails. (And I write) Our weekend that past was extremely difficult. I won't get into details but it involved the police, lots of escalated drama, mainly more enlightenment's for my husband and I. Teenagers in general aren't a bed of roses but when you add possible underlying mental illnesses, it's a whole new ball game. It's feeling like you're on a roller coaster and holding on is the only survival technique I can explain. I will admit that I was a mess. I was angry, disappointed and extremely hurt. I held my composure until it was over then I cried and I cried until I didn't resemble myself anymore. I questioned my life. I did exactly what I say parents shouldn't do, I blamed myself. Not only did I blame myself, I was so disappointed in my child that I didn't know what to do with him/her. I'm protecting him/hers identity by not mentioning gender and age but I do want to write about our past experience and surely not the last. I've chosen to write about it without disclosing much details because it's not about the incident itself, it's more about sharing how I'm dealing with it. Basically any child birth or adopted their personalities can change or alter with maturity. Sometimes that cute little child we love so much that we've grown to have faith in disappoints us. The faith is lost, the trust and for a Mother, it's heart breaking. (Then adding a mental illness) For the teen possibly affected I'm convinced it must be difficult and maddening inside to not understand the altering highs and lows in behaviors. For the family, it's also confusing, frightening and leaves the huge question, "What to do?" Especially during what I will call an "episode" Our decisions was to call the police. Mainly to start a file, start some history that can help while getting our child assessed. Also to protect. I felt broken down as a parent this past weekend but everyday is a new day and I truly still believe everything happens for a reason. This reason was our reality of an ugly truth, an underlying mental illness evolving with maturity. Reality is, we just never know. We don't know as soon as we birth a child what their future holds. We can only hope it's full of joy and many successes. So with our somewhat new enlightenment's we're onto different avenues in search for help. Making necessary adjustments and adding more professionals. In the meantime it feels like damage control around here in hopes that our family members can understand, have patience and mostly everyone is loved unconditionally even if it seems we're caught up in different behaviour situations. When adopting and even having your own children, I hope that everyone is aware that it opens your life up to different challenges. Challenges that will sway from year to year with age. I'm definitely not the perfect parent, I'm still learning, I'm still crying but I'm always trying. Besides bulging swollen eyes, I chuckled tonight at our five year old son loosing his first tooth! He was SO thrilled, SO happy to put his first tooth under his pillow. He played with it in bed then started to cry. I asked him, "What's wrong?" He said, "The tooth fairy isn't coming because I lost my tooth!" He lost his tooth while playing with it. So my husband wrote a note: Dear Tooth Fairy, I lost my tooth, can you please still come tonight and I promise I will find my tooth and place it where it belongs. The tooth fairy will show tonight with brighter beginnings hopefully for tomorrow. Another great chuckle I had again tonight was our children spotted a friendly owl. The owl was just sitting there, watching our children play. One of our sons was beneath the owl.....the owl repositioned itself on it's branch and pooped! It was classic, I laughed....but there wasn't any sweet revenge, the owl missed by an inch! It was funny regardless and sometimes that's all a parent needs. A little chuckle and a reminder to take one day at a time. Just like the tooth fairy, she'll be here tomorrow.

Protect yourself with Knowledge

2011-09-16T22:37:00.000-07:00

When I was walking our dogs this evening I ran into one of our neighbors. We have met some of our neighbors but they're not what I'd call sociable. (I don't know why) It could be our busy lives and it could be our family. Not everyone enjoys the noise of screaming children or the drama that can sporadically happen around here. The quick conversation I did have was the worry of the continuous cougar sightings and the fresh findings of deer carcasses in our area. Our neighbor proceeded to explain to me every time they hear our children playing (screaming) outside that their noise attracts cougars. I thought it was the opposite; their screaming and our large number of children would keep any animal away. So I decided to do some research. Did you know that Cougars are most active at dawn and dusk? Some of our children are enjoying walking to the bus stop in the morning and cougars hide quietly in the long grass and brush. In our area there is livestock, horses, many small rabbits and dogs. I found out that it's fact, squealing children will attract a cougar. Years ago when I ran religiously after dinner, I was always afraid of running into a cougar. When I hiked Cape Scott, we were followed by a cougar through the sand dunes, where the grass lands circled us. (I took pictures of the cougars fresh tracks) Cougars are extremely intelligent, quiet while hunting their prey and they're fast during their attack. There was a point in my life where being afraid stopped me from running and hiking. I quickly learned that educating myself about whatever I was afraid of stopped my fear of cougars. Not only did I educate myself, I brought artifacts into our home of cougars so I was always aware of the fear I did have. (Everything in our home has a meaning behind it) So now while the cougars are being spotted, I'm not afraid but cautious. I also know that they're here because there is plenty of food but normally they'll move on quickly. Here is some pointers if any of us encounter a cougar.........(1) give them a way to escape. (2) Don't run. Talk loudly, firmly and face the cougar. (3) Convince the cougar you're not an easy prey, wave your arms, your jacket and appear larger. (4) Protect smaller children. (5) If you're attacked, try to stay standing - cougars attack the neck and head. Fight back..... Trimming your property will help and add outdoor lighting. For us, trimming won't help but extra lighting might. I've also heard if we make scarecrow figures and change them frequently that this might help scare off cougars. (??) (Perhaps I just need to stand out there with back combed hair!) Regardless I'm aware we live amongst them. We also have black bears. We can't put out our garbage until just before the garbage collectors arrive because they've chewed off our garbage can lids. Like anything, we just have to educate and be aware; then we all can live together because after all, we're in their homeland. Most importantly educating our children is foremost. Knowledge is the key for everything, including the wildlife we live with.

Guatemala!

2011-09-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

Recently we enrolled our second oldest daughter into a new home school. We are very excited about it! I'm very excited because we're homeschooling the old way. Books and paper! No Internet. I will do all the online copying. (If needed) AND next year some of our other children will join our home school team! It's been another busy week with lots of paperwork. Some of the paperwork included an application for our second oldest daughter to travel to Guatemala for missionary work, to study Spanish and she will be taking a fully credited course on cross cultural missions, which emphasizes leadership. In a previous post I was writing about on how our children need to experience the world's differences and poverty. I'm hoping that many of our children can experience what our daughter hopefully will be! This life changing trip is not only important to me, to her, it's about helping others. She will be living simply with Guatemala families, sharing meals and working to provide better living conditions. Because I don't have enough to do, we are now fundraising for her to go. It's roughly $2800 for the month of February. These costs provide food, accommodation, materials for building and return airfare. I've been spreading the word as our daughter needs odd-jobs and fundraising ideas. My husband's Mother hired her instantly to clean her house. She was able to make her application fee. After explaining to our daughter that she needs to be pro-active and apply herself to make the money, she surprised me while working very hard this afternoon. She instantly handed over the cash and we're sending it away ASAP! I truly believe missionary work will benefit our children and with being pro-active, putting the positive energy forth, perhaps one year our whole family could go! (or maybe one child at a time) Already the middle of September and there is so much to look forward too. So much to do! But my plate is never too full, I'm always going for seconds, thirds and sometimes juggling multiple servings all at once. Again today I was asked, "How do you do it with your large family?" I've always stated that when you live it daily, it can be done. I do add that it's important to have organization skills, structure, routine and dedication. Another explanation I haven't really added to the answer is self discipline. Multitasking is a part of our life but it's a trait to know when to use. There is many times where being focused on one area is crucial, like on our children unless their lined up for haircuts! Like most of my blogs, they jump from one topic to the next but hopefully the ending concludes the beginning! And this ending is hoping for Guatemala!

Smoked Turkey

2011-09-11T23:31:00.000-07:00

It's almost that time when I start smoking fish. I smoke enough fish to last almost one year. After I'm done smoking our fish I've been considering smoking a Turkey. There was one year a candied a Turkey in our garage in a cooler. See, Turkey's and I have this understanding that we struggle together. I feel like Mr. Bean. The whole spreading of the legs, the overloaded stuffing that I can't get just right. It's a process in my kitchen that looks quite funny. Even our children are laughing because I'm always yelling for help. "Hold this leg!" I'm always fumbling around with the bird but I can roll nice sushi, make decent salad rolls and cook any East Indian dish! This year I'm thinking about smoking the Turkey! Forget the oven. I've heard that smoking 16 pounders is less worry for contamination risks. For us, I would have to smoke two turkeys. Smoking a turkey is a complete different non traditional experience. An experience that I'm willing to try because after all, I can easily smoke fish! So what struggle could I possibly have? (lol) The main concern would be any contamination's. As long as the turkey registers at a 165 degrees f it is safe to eat no matter what the color! You're probably questioning, color? Well smoking food is completely different then baking it in the oven. The meat may appear pink and might have a smoother texture. This is completely normal. Many people smoking a turkey will do this on their BBQ but I'm going to attempt smoking a turkey in my Indian Chief where my fish is always smoked. As long as I have a temperature of 165 f inside the turkey, we are safe. I'm also going to use hickory chips. My time frame will be at least 8 hours for a 16 pound turkey. (Probably much more) I've heard it's not a pretty turkey but the taste would impress a Mother in law! Anyone who knows me, knows I can get carried away in the kitchen. I love to experiment. With experimenting, I do have knowledge with what I'm cooking. I remember back when I was a young teenager and I wanted to make a meal for my parents. I told them I knew what I was doing........I made this casserole that consisted of vinaigrette potatoes, Dijon mustard hamburger with cheesy crusted noodles on top! It sounds horrid but everyone liked it! It's the contrast of different flavors. It's amazing what our taste buds would enjoy and also come accustomed too because believe it or not, most of our children love the sushi I make with the smoked salmon and avocado. If it's just our family, I don't spare the hot sauce. Something that's really interesting that we've noticed is our newest daughter, she loves spices. In her previous foster home they were Filipino. It's been difficult to get her to eat given her special needs. Another frustrating dilemma, possibly another post from this one but our main concern is nutrition. We have been giving her everything. She loves rice. The Filipino's use hot and spicy dishes with coconut milk. I'm finding our little girl enjoys my most spiciest foods. It's all with what we're accustomed too. For our family we have a variety because one place I like to be is in my kitchen. Our next surprise is smoked turkey! AND you're probably wondering why I would want to spend so many hours on smoking anything, right? It's outside. I love the outdoors. I have smoked fish in the snow, in the pouring rain and I just love the experience. The difference. Sometimes living on the edge from traditional is good. So next up........."Smoked Turkey"

They need reality

2011-09-10T21:53:00.000-07:00

September 10th and we're still boating! We are stretching our summer even when I'm writing my Christmas list, thinking about smoking fish and cooking a turkey for Thanksgiving. Today we spent six hours boating with our friends. It's interestingly relaxing as we supervise on the beach while our children take turns tubing and knee boarding. Our littlest daughter loves anything mobile. She spent most of her day in our boat next to her Dad! Boating is one of our regular summer activities and our children love it. The above picture is priceless, it's one of our sons and our friends son jumping off the dock. It was funny. They jumped several times so I could capture their moment. Their moment was hugging each other in mid-air looking right at me! While my husband circled the lake all day with our children, I was able to visit with my dear friend. One of our conversations was about children's lack of appreciation. And perhaps not so much the lack of appreciation but the realization of what they have or what they are doing compared to some other children. One of the biggest lines we've heard is, "You don't do anything for me" I wonder what circling the lake is? I wonder what driving from a different city to sit supervising on a lake is? Children just don't seem to understand the miles us parents go for them. Sometimes I wonder if it's possible to take our large family six months at a time to different countries to witness the poverty they don't have here. Canadians are spoiled. Our children wouldn't admit that they're spoiled but comparing to the larger landscape, they are in several ways. For us, the necessities is a home, clothing and food. For billions of others it's pure survival from one day to the next wondering where their next meal might come from, or where would it be safe to sleep. Sleeping in the only clothes they own. Here our children demand new clothes while their dressers draws are still full. They have this entitlement that they should receive a car at age 16, if not, they demand rides. It is their right to get from point A to B ASAP! I do blame myself, I blame our government, the media and today's society. Like anything requiring change, it would take generations and generations to un-do what we've created. I think with more education on our world (experience first hand the poverty) this could change the way most children behave. (I don't know) I'm a huge rambling thinker. We've tried every year with donations to the homeless involving our children but the impact, the reality they've experienced is it's homeless adults. The reality they need to witness is children that have less. Which makes me wonder, could it be possible to travel with a large family for missionary work? This I would love to do with our children. Before adopting within B.C. we were looking to adopt overseas. We would still love to adopt overseas but the stumbling block to adopting now is having a large family. Most Countries wouldn't even consider us now from what I was told. With our children now, it doesn't matter what we say.....some will never understand that they have more then most. I feel they need the world's reality. Even with the impact of 9/11 ten years ago, it's not our children's reality. They just don't understand people's losses, the impacts of world disasters, real starvation until it's their own or experienced through travel or like myself, with age. As much as I prepare for "Christmas" we also prepare for a cause in hopes to not only make a difference but to educate our children that they are fortunate and to appreciate a few rides around a lake.

Be consciously aware, it works!

2011-09-09T22:43:00.000-07:00

My thoughts of inspiration - I've heard having goals need to be written. Our chances on actually accomplishing something that we say we will is only 45% but if we put it in writing - by our bed, on the mirror in our washroom and on a calendar we see everyday - then there is a 85% chance we will do it. This might sound silly but I'm going to try this to motivate myself to get back into the gym. I'm a busy Mother but I'm not busy enough to dedicate one hour a day to myself with no exceptions or deviations. I've written a post on a "Happy self" This is one area I enjoy doing that I didn't mention. I can't stress enough that if you don't find time for your own mind and health - you are no good to anyone else.

I have been thinking about how life can sometimes be complicated. The reality is things aren't complicated, people make it that way. I'm not an exception because with everything or anything, it's to re-learn on how to deal with what's presented. We choose as individuals if it's going to become a complicated situation or not. Stress and anger is only held within yourself, anger only eats at and effects the person carrying it. (Not the ones that perhaps cause it) So if we make a conscious decision to be stressed or angry - no one can control that but ourselves.

My second oldest daughter learned something this summer, she learned that if you're always pleasant and approaching with a smile, you will either baffle or break anyone who seems unfriendly. Today her and I went on a huge grocery shop. It was one of those days having conversations with strangers seemed appropriate. I really really didn't want to go get groceries but our day seemed full of positive energy. I accidentally bumped into a lady with my grocery cart. I apologised and demanded that her husband massage her later - this spiraled into a great conversation. Later in the parking lot while loading our van, strangers were continually commenting about our loaded carts. Instead of ignoring comments, I had two different people engaged in a conversation with me. During our second grocery store, we bagged up twenty-ish apples, twenty-ish pears and a gentlemen asks, "Baking pies?" "Not in this heat sir, this will average two each for our children" I answered and explaining that we have a larger family. My biggest smile of the day was when he said, "You're lying" I laughed reminding him to have a great day thinking to myself after my grocery bill, "I wish I was!" Basically it's on how we choose to handle what's presented to us.

In conclusion, learning to just accept what is and have compassion for differences solves most stresses, relieves tension and saves most heart-aches. I can write about it but it's a conscious awareness to have everyday to turn anything negative into a positive. People can't argue or fight against smiles. Having an active engagement attitude and supplying education will smooth over whispering comments. Remembering the most important person is you. Yes our children - BUT without a healthy you, you can't look after who's most important to you.

When I write, I'm reminding myself. Like above, write it down and place your reminders where you can see them. It can be about anything and hopefully 85% of the time it works!

"Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most" - Ashleigh Brilliant

"Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree" - Marian Edelman

Finally, "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion" - Dalai Lama.

My husband and I dating.......?

2011-09-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=EVwlMVYqMu4&vq=medium#t=125

A funny, I laughed thinking this could be my husband and I dining together. Just had to post, hopefully you can open the link above outlined in black. (Just double click and sit back with a tea)

Love through Adoption

2011-09-07T21:12:00.000-07:00

We have faced and will face many challenges with our children. I'm hoping with our numbers we'll come out on top with some of our challenges. I can write and write about what we deal with , how we manage and over come some issues but this post is about the other side not everyone sees. The love I've personally witnessed through adoption. The picture above was taken when they weren't expecting it. I didn't provoke this hug to happen. I was just standing near supervising and when I looked over they were hugging. I quickly pulled out my cell phone and took the picture. They didn't know the picture existed until later. It's currently one of my favorites. It just shines love. This picture represents three different birth families that are now siblings. Siblings that are best friends and clearly have love towards each other. I knew as a Mother I could love unconditionally and I had only faith that our children would too. This picture proves that children can indeed love unconditionally and accept new siblings into their lives just as much as a Mother can accept a child. What's really beautiful is that our children embrace and accept new siblings with special needs. In our family, no one is different. During our first couple of days of school, our five year old son started kindergarten. Every time he leaves and returns home, his new little brother hugs him. This is what adoption is for us, it's not only about having a family, it's about feeling accepted, a connection with each other - no matter what our children have somebody. A Mother, A Father, A sibling to embrace with. It's moments like these that make any stressful challenge worth it. I as their Mother won't be here forever but they will have their siblings to stay connected with when they're adults. Hopefully on whom they will still call their brother or sister. No doubt our large family has it all but most importantly we do have love.

September

2011-09-06T22:37:00.000-07:00

Back to school......we were ready! All our children have new clothing, backpacks and school supplies. With sharp new haircuts we headed off to school! All our children are excited. I wasn't thrilled at first but now that summer has come to a close, I'm gratefully welcoming back our structure and routine of our life! If anything, our children need the structure that education provides. We were starting to get bored, restless and everyday was always something. That something seemed to be out of control behaviors! We have an extremely busy week ahead then hopefully our routine settles to a normal roar! This September it's a huge transition. Our five year old is starting full time kindergarten, four of our eleven year old's moved into the middle school, while one of our sons is graduating this year. Our oldest daughter is in her third year of University and we're still home schooling! Then of course there is the rest of our children in different scattered grades leaving two of our youngest at home. I'm feeling really good where we're all at for now. I'm looking forward to spending more quality time with our youngest two with different therapies, swimming and possible dancing lessons while squeezing in my time, education and first aid training for Mommy! You're probably wondering where I will find time to bake, cook, clean, do laundry and blog!? Honestly, it's from 7am to 8pm daily where everything can be done. The television isn't on, sitting down doesn't happen until 8pm. I am as routined as I routine my children. Life works marvelously this way. As much as I love summer and the break of our structured life, I love what every day looks like on our calendar from September on. Every one's focus shifts and that's a great attitude to have while moving on into another season of change. My husband has fully recovered from his infection during July and now is ready to finish what's remaining on our home, including moving the mounds of hardened dirt piles growing weeds blocking our driveway! It's been beautiful hot weather, weather that I absolutely invite to stay but a piece of me is sighing heavily, waiting for signs of fall. For the leaves to drop, greens turning to orange and having candles lit watching the windstorms blow. And most excitingly another favorite time of year, thinking about Christmas! I knew there was a reason why I loved September........

Boston Terrier search

2011-09-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

Recently my parents lost their beloved Boston Terrier due to cancer. We are currently looking for a Boston Terrier breeder or puppies that are for sale.

If anyone knows a breeder or hears about Boston Terrier puppies for sale, please send the contact information available by either posting directly onto this post or emailing me.

Thank you so much...............

A happy self

2011-09-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

I've been having a week. I would like to think that I'm a strong Mother with no fear, no worries and definitely no question about how I raise our children or questioning my path I've chosen. But I'm only human. (Maybe I'm an alien from outer space and I've completely spun out of my orbit!) I keep wondering if it's just me feeling time warped and out of my element!? It's September, I can feel fall in the air and usually I welcome the new season. Right now I'm physically doing everything I need to do for back to school, different appointments (Pediatricians, specialists, orthodontists, dentists, Occupational therapists, Speech) Neuro-assessments, equipment exchanging, you name it, I'm on it. I'm even on Christmas! Although emotionally I don't feel as strong. I feel time is moving too fast, summer is now a memory with many changes that happened within it. Something about me is "that I take great pride in our children's success" Our family's success. So when even one of our children struggle, so do I. I don't want or need our children to be Lawyers and Doctors. I just want them to be happy and healthy. When I write about health, health means physically and mentally. So while the air is cooler and the excitement escalates for more learning, I'm thinking about my own health. I haven't stopped and never will stop thinking about our children but, I would love to educate myself with more parenting workshops, (including mental health) Creative writing, journalism......I have been searching for online counseling courses. I'm a Mother but I also feel I have more to offer then just taking care of my children. I love First Aid and every year I continue to keep up my tickets. (Outdoor emergency) OEC has been a favorite of mine for over seven years! October is a huge study month for continuing cycles of OEC, CPR C and AED. Practical outdoor training. I think mostly, as much as I dedicate myself to my family, I don't ever want to loose who I am as an individual. I believe this makes a better wife and mother. So I'm picking up my interests and incorporating them into my daily mothering dedication. Mentally I feel more empowered not only helping our children to be successful but myself. A long story longer; that's my advice today. If you're a parent and feeling slightly lost, perhaps caught up with different behaviors, teenager drama, too much laundry - whatever it is, start thinking about yourself. "A happy self" makes a happy wife and mother. This summer was mainly about making memories for our children......in fact every day is about creating positive memories but sometimes those memories for our children should be witnessing their parents individuality. Because I know when they become parents, they won't want to loose theirs either!

"Just please tell the truth"

2011-08-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

I can be shocked over and over again by flawless chronic lying by at least four of our children. It can be as simple as, "I didn't throw that rock" to as complicated by making stories that has everyone convinced it's true. It's like being in a movie with a shocking twist at the end. (The truth) Most of the time I can tell if most of our children are lying, usually we want the truth told either way. Sometimes a few can be so stubborn that the truth is never revealed. Sometimes the truth is revealed once caught red handed and sometimes even that won't change a lie. "I didn't do it" is a famous line around here. We've tried everything to break the endless cycle of lies. Some of our children I swear can beat a lie detector test. It's completely amazing. I am a Mother that doesn't say, "It's not my child" If anything, it is our child but sometimes their convincing lies have beaten me. I believe. I believe so much that I'm right in that horror movie with the shocking twist in the end. Every day someone is lying about something. "It wasn't me" It's becoming a problem. We've tried absolutely everything searching for even some simple truths. Not only do they lie, they will blame another in hopes whoever will take the blame. I have gone to the extreme of grounding our children to the book, "The boy who cried wolf" A book that they would have to read over and over again until there is some understanding. Some have written lines, some will just have to sit or stand until the truth is told. Missing out in our family fun. (This doesn't break the code of lies) What saddens me and what I always explain is, it's not the crime, it's the lying. It's our trust that's being broken. So when the truth is told, we won't believe. I know with a few of our children, we don't believe anything. I can't stress enough how horrible this is when you love your child but you can't trust them, you can't believe them. Just this morning, one of our sons who's what I would call a chronic liar, is lying over something ill important but it's the lie. "Sigh" Everyday. I also understand that lying is a huge attribute that comes with having FAS. (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) But I wish for a cure, an idea or strategy that can be used for parents to either learn on how to tell what's the truth from the lies or how to change the cycle of extreme convincing story telling from the child. After all, "The boy who cried Wolf" will never be believed when something is importantly true and what about their future as adults? It makes me worry. It saddens me to know I can't believe my own child. I would love to attend a workshop for parents on how to deal with children who chronically lie and on how to deal with our own feelings on not being able to believe your child. Because honestly, the more some of our children lie, the more I'm heart broken on what to do. I also know it's not about me but to become a better parent on how to deal with my own emotions over all the disappointment sometimes I feel, I need to know what I can do better. How can I help my children with this horrible trait of lying when I've tried everything? You would think it's just so simple to tell the truth, as the truth would set you free but it's not like that around our home with at least four of our children. I was awake all night thinking for a magical cure to awake this morning to more lies from one of our sons. It's completely mind boggling to me as a parent with having tears in my eyes asking for the truth and it never transpires. Writing is my release and realizing that "lies" are a part of our life; I need to either come to terms with it or solve the behaviour. I was once told, "I'm not the saviour of the world" although I would love to have our children to "just please tell the truth"

A book to read if you're an adoptive family!

2011-08-28T22:14:00.000-07:00

A book I've been reading that Adoptive parents should read is, "Twenty things Adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew" by Sherrie Eldridge. The twenty two chapters include;

1. Hidden losses
2. Entering your child's world
3. I suffered a profound loss before I was adopted. You are not responsible.
4. I need to be taught I have special needs arising from adoption loss, of which I need not be ashamed
5. If I don't grieve my loss, my ability to receive love from you and others will be hindered
6. My unresolved grief may surface in anger toward you
7. I need your help in grieving my loss. Teach me how to get in touch with my feelings about my adoption and then validate them.
8. Just because I don't talk about my birth family doesn't mean I don't think about them.
9. I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family
10. I need to know the truth about my conception, birth, and family history, no matter how the details may be
11. "I am afraid I was given away" by my birth Mother because I was a bad baby. I need you to dump my toxic shame.
12. "I am afraid you will abandon me"
13. I may appear more whole than I actually am. I need your help to uncover parts of myself that I keep hidden so I can integrate ALL the elements of my identity.
14. I need to gain a sense of personal power.
15. Please don't say I look or act just like you. I need you to acknowledge and celebrate our differences
16. Let me be my own person....but DON'T LET ME CUT MYSELF OFF FROM YOU.
17. Please respect my privacy regarding my adoption. Don't tell other people without my consent.
18. Birthdays may be difficult for me.
19. Not knowing my full medical history can be distressing at times
20. I am afraid I will be too much for you to handle
21. When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me and respond wisely 22. Even if I decide to search for my birth family, I will always want you to be my parents.

It's a book to buy located online or at Chapters, or reserved through Chapters.

"OK - I am selfish"

2011-08-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

"Yawn" I always write when I'm tired. I wonder if my grammar would improve if I wrote during the afternoon? Actually that would be impossible but a nice thought. (not about my grammar but writing in the afternoon) I'm finding that when I awake, I blink a few times and the day is over! Today seemed to be one of those days. I packed a picnic and off we went swimming. The time we were home, I was bathing seven children, making dinner and finishing laundry all before 8pm! 8pm is my magical time of feeling the aching pain of my feet while being lifted off the floor. Believe it or not, from 7am to 8pm I'm on my feet. I'm not complaining. I'm the type where I can't sit down. What is nice is when I sit down to cuddle with some of our children, I get much joy out of being wanted. I know, slightly selfish. That's what this post is about. I love the interaction with my children. No offence to my husband but I would feel lonely without my children. I love the nights where my oldest and second oldest daughter's would join me on my bed to watch a movie, or watch Grey's Anatomy. All our other children would be sleeping and us older girls would make gourmet popcorn or nachos and just hang out in my bedroom together. We would giggle, talk and just be together. My bedroom seems to be the "room" Fall is coming and I'm looking forward to these evenings with our teenagers and younger adults. We even set the stage with candles. Yes, above I took a picture of a leaf. We have earlier darker evenings and the leaves are falling. Surprisingly I'm "Ok" with this. Believe it or not, our summer has changed drastically in so many ways that I'm ready to move on........back to me being selfish.......I look forward to movie nights at the theatre with our children. We take turns. I usually go with my second oldest daughter to all the sappy love movies including the Twilight series. It's a ritual we do at least once a month! I love my children and what makes me feel happiest is when they want to be with me. For back to school I've been taking two or three children at a time shopping. So it's closer to one on one. It's been fun. It's several trips but when you have a large family and you mix up your bunch from time to time, it's interestingly different. What's really funny when I go grocery shopping with five children, I will have someone always comment on how many children I have. Five children! For me, I would have to think about the past because five children now is nothing! We have all ages in our family, currently, 3,4,5,6,8,11,11,11,11,13,16,17,18,21. Basically looking at our numbers we have three sections of teenagers. Mmmmmm...... (Ha ha) I think we can do this! We are currently learning from our first batch! No kidding aside, we have lots of love here and I'm selfishly soaking it in. With one of my eleven year old daughters every night we play a game, I kiss her, she kisses me, I love her more, she loves me more more and so on. These little moments makes every day worth any struggle. My littlest daughter, she loves cuddling. She has this little moan and I know it's one of those love moans. Again, it makes my life complete. Our children have been giving me what I need most, all these little moments of "Mom" time. That I'm worth while. And selfishly this is what I need.

Value of life

2011-08-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

Surprise! Happy Birthday to my Mother! I called my parents cell questioning their location today. While wishing a "Happy Birthday" It was my plot to surprise her showing up with one of our sons. They were camping for the weekend at a Provincial campground called Elk Falls. Elk Falls trails off the main Campbell River river called Quinsam River. It's a beautiful spot to camp. I've decided if not this year, next year we will make this one of our destinations!
We had an excellent dinner together and I met some of their good friends. I also reunited with my step-brother that I grew up with for many years. On our way home I was thinking about teenagers again. I was remembering my teenage hood. I know I've written about teenagers before although my enlightenment (brainwave) that often occurs while driving was, I need my parents more as I age. From thirteen to my mid twenties I was "Miss Independent" I'm still very independent and my own mind driven but I need my parents more as we age. If I can only explain to our teenagers about the value of life and how important it is to maintain relationships while seeking their independence. I understand it's not "cool" to hang out with your parents at that age. We completely ruin their life and their intent to party. My husband and I aren't parents that "party" with our children, so we are boring. I thought up until recently that I was a pretty cool and relaxed parent. Well....."Wrong" I'm not cool at all. I'm also perfectly fine with this title because I'm a parent that cares and thinks about their futures. I keep reminding them that it's not my future, it's theirs that they potentially harm by poor choices. It comes back to the conclusion that everyone like myself, like our teenagers need to learn for themselves. My question is, "why does it have to be a battle?" My only answer is because teenagers don't like the word, "No" If it's not their way, it's the highway. Then the highway turns out to be a long journey with many road blocks and interference. The interference is different construction workers holding up the stop sign! Workers that won't be there when the teenager is my age. Honestly as much as I understand the whole independent soul searching that teens and young adults do, I am at a time in my life where I want more of my parents. I wish the feelings I have, the understanding about the value of life could surface into our teenagers. I know they won't realize or be impacted fully until my age why family is important. Time is traveling so fast that before we know it, there will be losses. (Not just of old age) Just one day can change everything.
And what teenagers don't realize when life takes a turn, there is no mercy on how old you are when it happens. It can happen to me. I feel life is too short to be difficult. Back to my teenage hood, as much as I can write about it, I don't remember what I stressed over because it's now irrelevant. What I know for fact, the only importance for me now is maintaining relationships while I can. That's with my children, my family and my close friends. For my parents (I have four) I love them dearly and I hope a day doesn't go by with them not knowing this. What's interesting about love, there is an endless supply and we should all be using it towards each other daily. I will continue to preach to our teenagers in hopes for their enlightenment on the value of life, value of family and today was about my Mother on her birthday. A day I didn't want to miss.

We all made today special.....:)

2011-08-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

This morning we weren't sure what our day entailed. I packed a picnic lunch and myself with eleven of our children and two dogs and went South. I wasn't sure where we were going. I drove through the drive through at Tim Horton's the wrong way apparently. I never seen so many angry people swearing at a van full of children before! It's interesting encountering these quick tempered individuals, I felt sorry for them as we turned up our music! A nice older gentlemen allowed me to budge in front of him so I wasn't the target of drive through rage anymore! I kindly paid for his order and high tailed it outta there! I still had no clue where we were going, I drove through a little town called Cowichan Bay. I never knew it existed until today! (It reminded me of Tofino in a way) We quickly stopped off at a friends house and finally ended up in Victoria, our final destination. Victoria is such a beautiful place. It was a bit tricky on how I was going to accomplish the ideas I had with our traveling animals. (The dogs) We always enjoy Beacon Hill Park, for me; it's a reminder of Hawaii with all the amazingly beautiful flowers and plants. This is where we had our picnic. Then we headed into the petting zoo. Right now they have baby piglets. In the above right picture I had to explain what the babies were doing AND why the Mommy pig was constantly oinking. Some of our children seemed concerned. It was funny. I explained they were nursing (in a more detail explanation) and maybe some baby piglets were biting their Mommy, and that wasn't very nice. This petting zoo allows your friendly canines if they don't bark or pester their animals. Our newest daughter was so happy being able to brush a goat. She was all smiles! Shortly after the farm, we left our van at the Beacon Hill Park and started walking towards the Parliament Buildings. During this time, seven of our children went in to see a Imax while the four left plus me and our two dogs sat on the grass waiting, playing on the field at the Parliaments. The day was working out......on our way back we stopped off to cool down at the tea-cup sprinkler. (Picture above left) I think it's the coolest sprinkler ever! One of our sons even washed one of our dogs off that rolled in duck poo while I was trying to take pictures! To end our day of unknowns, we went to our favorite place to bring children! Red Robin! The atmosphere is perfect. It was one of our sons birthday's recently, so while having dinner, the staff told him to stand on a chair while they sang, "It's your birthday!" It turned out to be a great day. Full of endless adventure. Our children were wonderful and helpful to help make it happen. (As it's not always positive) We have our moments where the day shortens immediately but not today. On our way home we screamed out our windows, honked the horn at our oldest daughter driving by in Victoria. It's a small world. We were home by 8pm with many "Thank yous" and comments stating, "Today was awesome Mom" My response was, "Thank you for listening, Thank you for helping" "We all made today special!" Now with silence, as I'm retiring off to bed, our oldest daughter called stating, "She heard us screaming!" That was with city traffic, different lanes, different directions in motion, some helium fed larynx's.....we were heard! A great ending to our day!

The Help

2011-08-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

I recently saw the movie, "The Help" It's a story about black maids working for white families back in 1962. In Jackson, Mississippi. A white woman wanting to be a writer thought it would be a great idea to anonymously write about what it was like to be a black maid working in white families. It was a great, great, great movie! I recommend everyone to see it! I will warn you, you will cry several times. You will also laugh. It's one of the best films I've seen this year! I don't want to write about it and potentially ruin the movie but I will 100% yell, "It's a must see!" In fact I just purchased the book. For me, I found "The Help" a very powerful story. Heroic and courageous! This movie was inspiring for me because believe it or not, I used to be a shy non-confrontational woman. Now especially lately I feel it's important to stand up for what I believe in, stand up for not only my rights, for my family's. I've become a huge advocate where- ever, to whom- ever possible to educate individuals about our larger family. Also for many years now I've become more comfortable with myself. In the past I had many insecurities. With any insecurity there is a mask hiding it or who you are. I can say I was that person but with growth I feel confident of who I've become. The biggest attribute is loosing the fear. Fear that someone might not agree, might not "like you" but the reality is, "We can't please everybody" Everyone is different with different ideas on the way life should or shouldn't be. I'm one not to argue with anything but I will advocate and educate with what I know (or think) to be true in hopes to make a difference. While watching "The Help" it really touched home for me and it even gave me more moral strength then I did before! It's a must see and definitely a must read! Sven Goran Eriksson quotes, "The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure" So true.......

Y'all....comfort

2011-08-21T20:06:00.000-07:00

It was a great weekend consisting of a multi-family dinner and having a relaxing afternoon swimming. What made it great was our company. We have some close family friends. People that I would drop anything for. (Well not anything glass!) During the course of our dinner I was popping out hill-billy sayings, basically I was resorting back to my childhood. Well I thought it was entertaining because I was referring to our family. After all we do live in a rural treed area with no landscaping. We love it this way because it's dark at night, quiet and during the day or night we can have a bon-fire, ride go-carts and quads. No one is looking down our driveway because we have huge piles of fill growing weeds, we basically don't have to worry about peepers. It's a perfect place to raise our children. In fact for my own curiosity sake, I did a little research on what a true "red neck" really is. A few facts: 1. You need an estimate before confirming your barber......mmmm one step better, I line all our children up one by one and cut their hair, into the shower and done like dinner! 2. You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.....mmmm another step better, we have no flowers but dried up twigs in our front planter boxes! 3. Around here, our vacume cleaner is a multipurpose tool, it not only cleans the floor; with home-made attachments made out of straws we can pull toy car wheels out of noses and suck belly buttons clean easier then using soap! 4."And I'm a monkey's uncle!" half the time when our children tell elaborate stories! I was thinking about true hill-billies and my husband wins the prize! 5. He's one of those plier teeth pulling garage types that flutter around once in awhile like a tooth fairy. No kidding, our children have witnessed it! 6. Around here my tongue usually twists around my eye teeth and I can't ever see what I'm saying which makes me hoot and holler! 7. Shoes around here are a choice, leaving in bare feet saves time. 8. In the above picture is one of our sons birthday cakes being lit with a propane torch cause we couldn't find a lighter. 9. Waking up to the breath of not your husband but your dog! 10. When it snows, quading your children around with their sleds forget sledding hills! (Just a few examples that our friends see from time to time) During dessert there was discussion about leaving the spatula out of the pie but instead just pass the pie amongst friends, after all we're all cousins and related in some way so what's wrong with sharing!? I know I sound nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival in this post but what's a little sense of humor once in awhile? Speaking of, have you ever mistaken Cheerios for a donut seed? Me neither but my husband came home with apricots instead of kiwis one day! It's "Ok" if you know my husband and I, we have fun with each other even if it's the truth! So in conclusion of this ridiculous post, if you see me walking by in my bare feet just realize I saved at least 10 minutes of my time trying to find my pairs. AND I was recently told that it's very therapeutic to walk in bare feet, we have many pressure points that will help our posture from the feet up! My ending quotes for thought, "You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something, sometime in your life" and "If I had to sum up friendship in one word, it would be comfort" Terri Guillemets. AND that was our weekend, comfortable with great friends.

"We're real"

2011-08-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

It's a sad day when a child, your child decides he's not interested in having a family. What's really unfortunate being young, the decisions are very harmful for their future. As an adoptive Mother with many children with attachment disorders, different special needs and basically children easily lead down unknown rocky paths can be disheartening. After all, when my husband and I started adopting, it was not only to grow as a family but to hopefully change a child's life. To give them permanency. To make a difference. This path we've chosen to adopt isn't for the faint at heart. Sometimes when I write, I often wonder if I should share certain experiences but then I would be cheating my readers if they weren't enlightened about the adoption negatives. Adoption is exciting. It's especially exciting for adopters that have no children. Adoption isn't perfect. The system isn't perfect. In fact, nothing is perfect in life. If it was, many individuals wouldn't have a career. Children we adopt aren't perfect. I'm definitely not a perfect Mother but I dedicate my days for our children. So when I know a child is making the biggest mistake of their life, what do I do? I try to convince otherwise. Now this is where my post twists. Absolutely nothing we do or say works.............in fact children coming from care seem to know how to outsmart, outlast and outplay not only their parents, the system to hopefully, eventually seek out what they're entitled too. I'm not exactly sure what that is, usually it's financial support to independently live on their own. When I was seventeen on my own, I didn't venture to the Ministry office but I also wasn't programmed to do so either. This is where before adopting, understanding entitlement and attachment issues I believe is a must. Education is important because even with disappointment, the heartbreak, even the anger from feeling abused as an adopter, there is understanding. Now don't get me wrong, I don't understand and accept everything.....I'm human and I'm not perfect. I'm also entitled to feel. For me, even adopting an older child, waiting for months up to over a year for a placement is like having a baby. In my heart I feel like I birthed my next adopted child. I might of not seen the first step but I wanted that child like I wanted my newborn baby. I accepted all imperfections within the process. Although I did, the older child did not. This is the chance we take as adoptive parents. I always write about acceptance, acceptance from me......but when the day comes when we're not accepted, then what? It might not even stem from attachment issues, it could be from outside influences.........birth family and friends that think they know how or what adoption should look like. Even different professionals that have no idea and are detrimental to the child. It's amazing on how many individuals can step in, influence and potentially help make harmful life changing decisions with someone elses child. It's in fact mind boggling. It makes me wonder about the future........who in fact will be there? The influencers or the actual family because we don't live out of a book or out of our imaginations. We're real.

It`s been a week, welcome Friday!

2011-08-18T20:17:00.000-07:00

I've been up to NO good. Actually I went to Seattle. My yearly shopping trip for our children. While in Seattle I went to the Pike Harbor where the famous fish throwing place resides. It was really "neat" In the above left picture is where fish is sold. When a fish is bought, they throw it to one another to be wrapped yelling. American food is plentiful and always looks sooooo good! In the above right picture is the cobblestone road where there is endless gift shops and trinkets. There was rows of flower bouquets, BIG beautiful flower bouquets for only $5-15.00! Here, a bouquet like that would be anywhere from $50.00 - $100.00! It was amazing. I'm always intrigued talking with the locals and listening to numerous amounts of street talent. I managed to get lost while looking for the I5 in the downtown streets of Seattle but there was always someone to direct me in the right and yes, sometimes the wrong direction! It was an adventure. I always have liked a great adventure! I also purchased a trinket I thought was interesting made out of St. Helen's volcanic ash. It's from the eruption of 1980. This lady makes sculptures from the materials and minerals from the earth to create mementos from this historical event. The process takes 15 steps to create each sculpture to make them stone-like and durable. SO of course I needed one! During my two day stay, I dined alone at Red Lobster. My favorite restaurant. I had appetizers and a full course lobster meal! I was slightly in heaven. Mainly my agenda consisted of shopping for our children. Shoes, shirts, hoodies, pants, under ware, coats and a dress. I'm getting the hang of finding deals. For example, Billi bong, DC, Element and Quicksilver brands starting at $2.99 for shirts, $9.99 for hoodies and as low as $7.99 for running shoes. $15.99 for winter jackets. BIG blocks of cheddar and mozzarella cheese for $12.99 comparing our price here for $26.99! It takes me a few tiring dizzy days but I find some great deals! The only problem was missing the ferry by fifteen minutes. I had over a two our wait for the next ferry then a two hour ferry ride! Now at home with everything put away, it`s been busy. We had a foster parent visit then shortly after our new dog arrived! Yin Yang is here! She`s a really nice and loving animal. That`s her in the picture above. The bottom picture with Wilbur and Yin looking out the window is cute but with a sad story behind it. When she was dropped off, we made sure she was comfortable staying with all our children. When the previous owner left, Yin has been waiting for her return. Staring out our windows. It almost brought me to tears. With adopting we completely understand the loss and grieving our children had to go through, still go through with endless healing. Watching our new dog wait for a loved one that isn`t returning is sad. It makes me think about all the children that get apprehended, then they wait in foster care for their birth parents to eventually find out, they are not returning. Then finally settling into their foster care placement to be moved again and again. For some like one of our sons, over 10 times before the age of 9! This is why adoption is so important. It means (hopefully) never moving again. For our new dog Yin, she`s been in several different homes. It will take sometime but soon she will realize we are her family and the waiting is now over. So like adoption, it`s exciting for the new adoptive parents but for the child it`s understandably unsettling until they can feel secure, safe and reassured this is home. Like our children, Yin is now home! AND after this week, it`s now time to relax with each other!

Yin Yang

2011-08-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

Here's an update on my previous post regarding a friend for Wilbur. I find it interesting when sometimes the power of suggestion actually happens. First a female for Wilbur isn't happening anytime soon. Although I received a call asking if we were interested in "Adopting" a four year old purebred Shitzu girl. The lady is a local dog groomer that rescues dogs. Well this Shitzu has been fixed, all shots are up to date, is healthy and happy. I wasn't completely convinced about the idea of an older dog. I was worried about the interaction of our dog and on how this Shitzu would be with many children. Instead of saying, "No" my curiosity became the best of me. After all, what if this dog was a great match!? With no more being said, I took three of our youngest children and Wilbur to meet this little lady. Well, well, well.....Wilbur played happily with her like they already knew each other. Some of our children interacted with no problems. This little lady is a calm, loving and beautiful dog. A dog that I can see with our family. SO we have another pre-placement visit on Sunday. This Sunday we will bring more of our children and let Wilbur play a bit longer. It does need to be a good match. It reminds me of something, how about you? Then next week, this little lady will come visit at our home! If visiting at our home goes well, we will be in placement stage. A bit of history, she loves sleeping on beds with her owner, she loves to go hiking, barely barks and does the frog dog really well! (Laying flat with her back legs out) Her ears are shortened because of previous ear pulling attacks but basically friendly to everyone! I think she's a keeper. Then we found out her name.........YIN YANG. Yes........already the jokes are in the air, the laughter on her behalf. Although for short, we have two choices, Yin or Yang. I just can't see myself yelling, "YIN YANG" across a park. Yin yang is Chinese and means two forces. It could be good and evil or feminine and masculine. One is not better then the other. You need a balance of both. Interesting, in a home years ago we owned, in our bedroom was the Yin and Yang symbol. I always thought that represented my husband and I! The yin yang symbol is traditionally black and white. The outer circle represents everything while the black and white shapes represents different energies. For example, Yin could represent dark while Yang represents light and you need a fine balance of both. Perhaps that's why my husband and I are so connected........anyways turns out our soon to be new little girl is named Yin Yang. That's if the matching process goes along without a glitch. I also know why the previous owners named her Yin Yang, she's black and white and definitely a part of this universe. For us, Yin for short will suffice.

We need a "Mommy!"

2011-08-10T13:03:00.000-07:00

We've always owned two dogs. The reason being is because when we do leave them home, they have each other for company. When we only had our Bull mastiff, he was completely stressed, vomiting inside our home until we brought home Wilbur. After that, our dogs stress was gone. Now that time has past from loosing one of our dogs, I've been thinking about a friend for Wilbur. For me, once you own a pet, you already have the responsibility therefore what's another? I know you're probably laughing because once you have three, four, five children, what's another two or five right!? I know! That's my point. Once a leap of dedication is made either to children or animals, your life is in a path where it could be easier to add then take away. For example, many people wonder how we manage everyday with so many children. Well, our days are dedicated. When we are missing even one child for dinner, I have a hard time remembering not to prepare their plate. Every time some of our children are missing, I'm developing a learning disability with subtraction. I can not grasp making less food, subtracting plates and when there is missing bodies at our kitchen table, I don't even sit there. There has been so many times where I've prepared food when our children weren't there! Like laundry, I have piles starting from youngest to oldest, when there isn't laundry for one of our children, I seem lost in my placement. Weird? Probably BUT I can add children more easily then taking away! What's really interesting, we have been spending sometime with my Mother. We will get into the van after a days adventure, my Mother will be counting children. (Making sure they are ALL there!) I keep saying, "Mom, they are all here and accounted for" I don't need to count our children, I know immediately if someone is missing. Although if we don't have our usual children that come with us daily, I have to remind myself they aren't with us. Subtracting of our family is more difficult then adding. This is an excellent trait because if someone went missing, I would notice immediately as stated above. Our dynamics change, this is what's weird. Most families with four children are cooking dinner, if we ever had only four children here, I couldn't cook dinner. There isn't enough people to cook for. For me, it would be almost pointless. We would probably go out for dinner! I also noticed that our children get lonely without their siblings, so can you imagine leaving a dog that isn't used to being alone, alone!? This is what saddens me with our dog when we leave him home. Animals are a part of our family and I would never leave one child sitting at home alone. (Well unless they were capable, old enough and wanting too that is) I doubt Wilbur would ever agree. So my thoughts lately have been on a dog. A companion. It seems to be a harder decision then adopting children. First off, should we bother? Then what breed? We aren't interested in large breeds nor yapping, snipping annoying breeds either. Wilbur is a Mini Labradoodle, his breed is loving, loyal and friendly to everyone. He barks but stops when finished. Non shedding, hypoallergenic and we just adore him. We never had him neutered in hopes for him to become a "Daddy" This is where I thought we could have the pick of the litter. Which brings my thoughts on finding a female. Know of a "Mommy" anywhere? This is what my thoughts have transpired for today! A possible search to make Wilbur babies!

No place like home (this week)

2011-08-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

From Miracle Beach, Port Alberni, Youbou to sending our second oldest son out commercial fishing, we've been making miles. It's been nice spending time with friends, basically other adoptive family friends. We must all have something in common! (Ha ha) One thing I know is when one, two, five of our children are behavioural, it's "Ok" (I think) Every time we get together with any family friends all our children seem to get along really well. They've even developed little crushes on each other. Then others are just in love. I often wonder if our circle of adoptive family friends will become all family through marriages one day. This picture was taken at Miracle Beach, a beautiful beach where the tide never seems to move out! (Kidding) Just not that day! Although we had enough sand for everyone to play in! Then a few days later we were invited for dinner at a friends home where our littlest daughter was able to sit on a bike. A bike designed for support. Not only support but the bike latches her feet in so she automatically gets the stimulation of bike riding while it's being pushed. This is the coolest outdoor mobile machine I've seen so far! The bike above is too big for her but it gives an idea of what she needs. It will also help strengthen her legs because one day she will walk! It was so cool to see her on a bike! We have a loop that we often take our children bike riding on and our littlest daughter doesn't like following in her wheelchair. SO this bike is on our next list of items to obtain! (I've hidden her face for identity reasons above) I noticed today that our children were more behavioural then most days. Louder, sneakier and I've decided that our day trips are coming to a relaxation mode here at home. Some home entertainment, some good times with friends coming over here for dinner and truthfully, there is no other place like home. Even our children know this.......until next week where we head out camping once again! Thank you for your invites and I'm glad that we feel we could return again! That's supportive friendship!

Workers in progress

2011-08-06T21:55:00.000-07:00

What I'm about to write may offend some young viewers. Basically any teenager. We also have five young adolescents from age thirteen to twenty one. All in which are seeking their own forms of independence. I think for most teens life becomes confusing. Each and every one of us are completely different. When I was a teenager I went through the delinquent stage. For two years my friends were more important then my family, I believed that it should be my way or the highway. I still state to this day that my older daughter saved me. Looking back on those years of "Carrie" gone wild wasn't me. It was like a hormone imbalance with the delusion I was the only person in charge of my life. Absolutely no one was going to stop what I wanted to do. Even my parents. I often like to reflect back to remind me that most teenagers seem to go through the delinquent stage, just the spectrum levels can vary between individuals. Most parents have one or two teenagers that will cause them this grief, although our odds are much higher. I don't believe this means we're horrible parents, in fact I don't believe any parent is horrible because their teenager has decided to venture off on their own. I don't believe the teenager is horrible either. It's a process that just happens and happens differently for every adolescent. I have to write as a Mother it's been difficult balancing being a caring protective parent to letting a teen learn for himself. Really there isn't anything we can do when a teenager starts deciding for themselves. Their perception is what it is and until they figure it out, like I did......it can be a rocky road. I have compassion for the high end spectrum of the delinquent stage (what I call it) because I remember for myself how confusing life really can be. Teenagers are a "work in progress" meaning they're still figuring out who they are. For our adoptive children I can only imagine their confusion, with the confusion, their hormones and any possible special needs that can completely cloud their soul searching vision. I can only try and guide our children, continue to explain that every choice made can effect their future. Their future can be positive, bright and full of potential by believing they can do anything. We are all given a life, most teenagers don't seem to like theirs regardless of their situation. Being "adopted" can be an excuse for teenagers to use although what they're not realizing is, this is a good thing. Adoption. They were one of the lucky children to move out of a temporary situation such as foster care. There is so many children in need of an adoption placement. When I attended a seminar on Permanency for Youth, it made having a family that much more important for me. It saddens me to know that teenagers age out of foster care, are on their own and they don't know where their next Christmas will be. For me, fine.....a young adult can live on their own. (Try it) BUT they will always need a family. These extreme adoptions that sometimes happen, meaning adopting a young adult makes sense. It's not just about their childhood. Extreme adoptions from what I understand is giving a already independent adult a family. So he/she knows where Christmas will be every year. Where any celebration, injury or support can be called upon. Even visiting a familiar face without question. I know for our teenagers there will be different situations, different levels on the delinquent spectrum and definitely so. I do understand but I will always as their Mother remind them about how their choices can impact their life. That, I believe is a caring parent dealing with their little workers in progress. Hopefully like I did, like most individuals, those hard confusing teenager years become learned lessons that they can preach with their own children. Until then I can only have faith that most of our children will get through the adolescent years without a huge hitch pulling them down an unclear path.

A day it was

2011-08-03T21:04:00.000-07:00

From Monster trucks, racing evenings, boating, caving, to concerts to beaches, we've been busy! This morning we left at 8am catching the 10am Denman Island ferry. We thought we were making excellent time until we stopped suddenly at the Hornby Island ferry. We waited until noon for the next Hornby Island ferry. I asked an employee why? He explained they were cutting costs by cutting back ferry trips. "Seriously? After it cost me $153.00 to get to our destination!" Okay........so there was nothing to do but wait patiently. Finally arriving to Tribune Bay, a place I call the Hawaiian Island of BC! A beautiful bay where the sand is white, the water sparkles blue and boaters come in to dock. Our children played in the sand, collecting clams and swam. After our picnic, we were getting ready to go and I over heard a family next to us say they were from our community. It turned out they were another adoptive family and their daughter was going to Kindergarten with our son come September! Amazingly small world! After the beach we went over and hiked around Helliwell Park. A park with bluff views! While there we decided to frolic in the long grass taking pictures. Leave it to me, I love taking pictures! Our children sometimes roll their eyes at me..........but my response is, "You will want these pictures one day to show your own children" (In the above right picture is a picture of one of our sons) It turned out to be another great adventure. On our way back we stopped for ice cream for dinner then returning home for pizza for their snack! Our children had a kick out of that, after all; it's summer. Who says ice cream for dinner is wrong!? Now topping our adventures it's been nice to see most of our teenagers with us. Our second oldest son has been enjoying all our travels, now heading out commercial fishing with my Uncle. Good for him! While he travels by boat, we will travel by van almost anywhere! Next? Now that is the mystery question! But for now, I'm off to bed! I'm surprised I can see to write anything........I've told our children that their back to school question from Teachers, "What did you do this summer? better be LONG!" I can hear it......."I did nothing, my summer was boring" mmmmm mmmmm and I'm Charlie Brown!